IF I Were a Black Girl:

I would hate white women for taking my men. Asian women for speaking that Lucy Liu shit in the nailshop when I know they really talking about my fucked up pinky toe. Latina hoes cus them bitches think they're cute. And Black girls because them hoes always looking at me funny.

I would make fun of expensive lacefront wigs and weaves, because once my shit grows out yall going to hate me. So what if my hair is damaged and my ends look like they're auditioning to be part of a Brillo pad, I ain't cutting my shit-- it'll grow.

I would text my boyfriend at...

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