Young girls like older men. Older men like younger girls. If Lil Wayne did smash that girl he’s not the first 28 year old to run up in a girl with a provisional driver’s license and he won’t be the last. I’m very blasé when it comes to the subject of age of consent, maybe it’s because I’ve watched Lolita way too many times. In today’s world 16 is the Age Of Ho-sent. This means that at 16 years of age, a hoe has fully developed her hoe gene, and will fuck who she wants when she wants to regardless of the law. All R-Kelly jokes aside, for a man to purposely seduce a teenage chick is disgustingly perverted. But as a man who’s been fooled a few times, I’m afraid for the fellas out there. These little freaks who have more body than women twice their age know they’re sexy and love to hunt older dick for sport. Just like a sneaky teenager can find a way to buy beer, these little girls can find a way to get a grown dick.

The baby bitches, as we used to call them, will eventually grow out of being fast asses, but what about the girls who want more than sex from older men? The girls who are 19, 20, 21 and looking for the suave old head to throw that 80’s dick in them and make her his princess, those are the girls that I worry about because they get fucked over on a regular basis. I’ve received several emails from girls who are under 22 and were having serious problems with their boyfriends who are in their late 20’s to early 30’s. It had nothing to do with sex, it was all the emotional things that you go through when dealing with older niggas that they had no idea about. Here’s my advice to younger women looking to bag an older dude because they think he’s more mature, established, and through with playing game…

If you meet a guy who’s six years older than you and single, you didn’t hit the jackpot baby girl, more than likely you’ve ran into a nigga with issues that women his age don’t want to deal with. I’m sure your pussy is Lolita yanking and can handle an older dick, but can you handle the history of drama that comes along with it? Most of my boys are in their late 20’s and you couldn’t meet a more damaged group of guys. My one boy told me that this girl asked him why he was 28, no kids, and single. He replied that he hadn’t found the right girl yet. Yeah he did, and he drove that bitch away, I watched him do it. Guys like to call girls picky, but dudes are extremely picky after a certain age. Everything is a deal breaker when you’ve fucked 60+ chicks and every new girl reminds you of an old one who did you dirty. “She would be perfect if she didn’t have a kid” or “I’ve been hurt by girls like you” are bullshit excuses from older dudes who want attention but don’t want to settle down.

The Waited Too Long Guy: Men don’t panic as we get older. There is no Carrie Bradshaw in niggas, because we look at it like this, “30th birthday coming up, it’s all good because the girl I’m going to marry is still in elementary school Team 2000’s Baby, what!“. As long as they keep birthing females, a man will have a shot at settling down with something younger and prettier than the girl he just broke up with. Because of this “a coochie grows in Brooklyn” mentality, men don’t have a ticking time clock to settle down. If they want fatherhood fast, most guys will run up in a cute ratchet and pop out a kid in hopes of creating a Lebron James, but fatherhood doesn’t equal settling down. Why settle for your aging baby moms when you can be George Clooney and smash a gang of girls who understand the internet better than you do? Waited Too Long Guy had a few women who were probably “the one” but he was indecisive or he wasn’t done having fun, so he let her walk out of his life. Now he’s stuck in the matrix of dating. Women should stay away from this guy at all costs. He’s going to talk the talk, and tell you that he’s been waiting since 1997 for a girl like you, but it’s game. You’re new to him, you’re feisty, pretty, and you fuck like only a girl raised on Trina music can. Of course he’s going to be smitten with you. But once he wears your coochie out and gets tired of your sassiness and obsession with texting, he’s going to move on to the next PYT.

The Let’s Start A New Family Guy: This is the guy who has an ex wife or long time girlfriend. He has children, but he’s not happy at home. This guy is more attractive than Waited Too Long Guy because he’s demonstrated that he can settle down and be a father. The thing about this guy is that his past will always be his future. He’s been with this woman since he was in college, now he wants to leave her for you. Do you think she’s going to disappear? Who’s he going to live with? Are you going to sleep on their couch until the divorce is final? Can he move into your mother’s house and take the top bunk you use to share with your brother? This guy will talk the Nuevo ring out of your vagina and promise to be there, but the same reason he left his old family is the same reason he’ll leave you—boredom. When people have kids the romance changes, the sex changes, everything changes. You either adapt and still do your thing, or you give into the stress and start to hate the other person. Clearly The Let’s Start A New Family Guy didn’t have the patience. He could be a good guy to you, but I suggest learning everything you can about his old family and the reason it didn’t work out before canceling those Depo shots.

The Predator: Older women are harder to talk to… False. The real problem is that older women ask questions. They want to know where you work, where you went to school, what your plans in life are, how each one of your past relationships ended, and how you treat your mother. The sign of a mature woman is the ability to call you out on your bullshit. A little girl will allow a man to give half answers, contradict himself, and stay mysterious because she doesn’t want to rock the boat. A mature woman can’t afford to be so naïve, so she questions and challenges. Some men don’t like to open up, they’re looking for something light, fluffy, innocent, and fun. These men openly seek out young girls at the usual places. They’re the losers who hang at the mall in skinny jeans right after school lets out, sure they graduated in 03 but he figures the high school girl’s will be open off of his Cadillac and the fact that he has his own apartment. He’s comfortable hunting babies because she won’t ask about his fucked up credit score, being unemployed, the illegitimate kids, or any other deal breaker that a mature woman would sniff out during a first date. He gets to relive his golden age by smashing a gang of baby bitches who call him daddy and think that he’s cool. Don’t settle for being his fountain of youth, you can do so much better.

The Man Child: He probably still lives with mom, or maybe he’s living with his baby moms, same shit. He can’t hold down a job and still parties like he’s in college. 30 years old and his 20-year-old girlfriend has more sense than he does. This is the Peter Pan nigga who never grew up. He’s spoiled, whinny, and always needs. You get in an argument he’ll run back to his mother. He needs gas money, he’ll call you. He’s supposed to be the older mature man who lays pipe good and shows you the world, but he’d rather play video games and fuck you with a soft dick. The appeal of the man child is that he’s the most accessible of all older men, his immaturity attracts younger women because he speaks the language. At first you’ll think he’s fun and care free. He’ll take you out at first and show you a good time. Unlike guys your own age he shares his feelings. He tells you he loves you and expresses how you make him feel inside without a need to act tough. During the courting period the man child seems perfect. Give it a few months and his bullshit will wear thin. You’re a young woman. Every day you’re growing, you’re getting smarter, you’re becoming more ambitious, you need someone to grow with you. It’s not going to be the Man Child, his growth is stunted, and it’s not due to coffee it’s because every time a woman has called him out on his bullshit and told him to man up he’s run home to mommy. The reason he’s dating someone your age is due to the fact that mature women aren’t into pacifying his bitch ass. By the time you realize that he’s damaged goods, it’s going to be too late because the Man Child’s grown on you and you’re in love.
Younger women end up with older men all the time, once you hit a certain age it does become just a number. As nasty as it sounds there will be a girl born in 2001 who ends up marrying a guy born in 1981, but not every man is Jerry Seinfeld, know the warning signs when you’re dealing with these older cats and never think age = maturity. 16 year old girls who sleep with older men because of cars, celebrity, or status are a product of low self esteem mixed with miseducation. Some of those girls will come to their senses and learn that fucking bigger dicks doesn’t make you a bigger girl, others will grow into career hoes, a generation of Karrine Steffans minus the book deal. The key is realizing that once you turn 18, you can still date 18 year olds. You don’t have to date older because it’s legal.Boys my age act young” they’re supposed to, maybe you should ask yourself why you’re racing to be grown instead of enjoying your youth. Stop obsessing over maturity and allow yourself to grow into a relationship with someone on your level. Why settle for someone who is jaded and has baggage because you’ve had bad experiences with guys around your age? A smart woman can train a young nigga to behave the way she wants, but no matter how hard she tries she can’t teach an old nigga new tricks.

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