There seems to be this old-fashioned mentality when it comes to who should approach whom. I talked about how Hoes stay winning because of their ability to not only approach a man, but strike up the type of conversation that keeps his attention as well. But the counter is: Let the Hoes win, I’m a princess and I’ll keep sipping my peach Ciroc until my prince comes to ask my name. There is nothing wrong with that mentality… if you’re approachable… if the guy you’re feeling is confident… and if you’re prepared to deal with the thirsty niggas who are going to holla while you wait for your guy to notice you. That’s a lot of ifs.
I have the mindset that if you want something you go for it. When I graduated college and was saving money to move to LA, not a lot of people wanted me to go. One friend sent me an article about a guy who sold a script while living in some random ass state, as to say, “See you don’t have to leave the people who love you to be successful“. This is real life; in real life you play the percentages, could I have been successful back home, maybe. It’s worked for other people. But I’m not one to sit on my ass and hope that I have the same luck as the next motherfucker, so I got up and won the way that made the most sense to me, action not reaction. That mentality should be applied to everything in life including relationships.
Men Are Lazy…. FALSE
Every man has pulled a girl, it’s the one thing as teenagers we are dared to do repeatedly. “Go pull shorty over there in the DVD section” is a rite of passage for the fellas. As we get older we get less thirsty, so we don’t feel a need to dust off our Pulling skills unless she’s a rare breed. If he’s not trying to pull you, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not special, he’s already taken, or he’s being lazy. There are dozens of reasons as to why he didn’t step to you, but if you’re a woman who likes what she sees and gets what she wants who cares what his reasons are? If a man really wants a woman he will work hard to get her, but working hard to get her DOES NOT have to start with the “Hi, I couldn’t help but notice you…” moment. Working hard begins when he asks to take you out. Here is the thing women should remember, introducing yourself is the least you can do. If you’re going for a guy you like and you make a connection, it’s no longer on you to take it to the next level. Let me know you like me and take all the guessing out of my pursuit, so I know that its real. The argument that men don’t have to do anything these days is weak. The man has to ask you out. The man has to take you out. He has to work to show you a good time and get a second date. He has to work to get you open enough for sex. He has to work at giving you good sex. He has to work at being a good boyfriend. He has to work to afford a big ass ring. He has to work up the nerve to propose. He has to work at calming you down because you’re worried your wedding won’t be as perfect as you dreamed. If you’re picking good men, not bum ass niggas, then he will work hard to make you his and keep you his. Saying Hello is far from “doing everything”.
In a perfect world your prince charming will speak to you first and do all those things leading up to your wedding day, in return you won’t have to do shit but look cute. Keyword—perfect world. You can hold out hope, but this is and never will be a perfect fucking world, and in the 21st century prince charming now has a gang of hoes that don’t look like ugly step sisters vying for his attention in front of you Cinderella. I’m not calling for women to arrange the first date, pay for dinner, and ask him to be their man. I’m calling for women to get off their ass and give this new generation of men who have a world full of hoes they could easily fuck, a reason to work hard. Introduce yourself and have something interesting to say when you do— if you’re not up to do that then you’re the lazy one. If he can’t hold a conversation, don’t give him your number. If he acts as if he’s not into you, oh well, he wasn’t into you. What’s the worst that can happen if you and the guy don’t have a connection? Someone takes your seat while you’re up talking? What’s the best that can happen if he asks for your number? You get out of the bullshit game of dating and end up with someone YOU CHOSE.
I Let My Watch Talk For Me…
How can you tell a successful woman from the average Hoe posted in the lobby of the W? You can’t unless you get to know her. Women who are single and successful dress the same as women who are broke and living with their Mama and ’em. Niggas can’t tell Christian Louboutin from Christin Loubotains nor do we care to. We’re not checking the stitching on that Louis bag to see if it’s fake, we’re trying to see if you’re stuck up or personable. From where we’re sitting, Miss 200k a year looks the same as that Hoe who boasted half of her outfit. A man is not going to approach you based on how he thinks your stock portfolio is doing, he’s going to approach you based on looks and keep talking to you based on how cool you are.
How can you tell a successful man from some bum ass dude? Easy, men let you know as soon as they walk into the room that they’re getting money (If you can’t tell Hello Mr. Nice Watch from Hello Mr. Fake Watch, I will do a blog about it). As soon as guys get a little bit of bread they go out and buy the fancy watches and the luxury car, it doesn’t matter if you’re Ashton Kutcher or Peanut from the block who hit the lotto, men love to get toys and floss. It has nothing to do with looking nice, it’s about the hoes. “My watch saying ‘hi shorty we can be friends’, my whip saying ‘quit playing bitch get in” was Curtis Jackson letting every poor nigga know about the power of the dollar. Kanye famously spit how he splurged his first real money on Jacob Jewlery before he paid his past due bills. That nigga didn’t care about Fannie Mae, he cared about the Lisa Raye’s. Nothing cures low self-esteem like a Rolex or BMW. Statistics… and Scarface… show us that when you look like money, smell like money, and are getting money, you no longer have to approach the girl, they approach you. Of course most of the girls you attract will be Hoes, but who gives a fuck? When you’re looking for ass not marriage, Hoes will do until you reach your late 30’s. When you’re content with Hoes you ignore the ladies that are in the same room. She can be the prettiest woman in the room and the wealthiest, but why would Mr. Successful who has Hoes on his dick, risk rejection trying to get to know you better? Unless you’re famous (a girl he’s heard of before), infamous (a freak he’s heard of before), or insanely sexy (Not an 8 or a 9 but a true 10) he’s never going to take off his cool and talk to you first. Be mindful that just because a man would rather let pussy come to him does not mean that he’s not a good guy or worth your time. All men want real love, but we settle for easy pussy until that right woman comes along and saves us from ourselves. I know I know, it’s not fair that a woman who is on a higher level should be forced to open her mouth first, but neither is the fact athletes are paid more than school teachers– get over it. If you want that guy who looks like Reggie Bush and has money like Reggie Bush then you can’t expect him to come over to you. He worked too hard to get to the position where his watch talks for him.
My Friends were Approached, I Should Be Too… FALSE
When I first saw my wife I was blown away and went for her, but to my surprise she had seen me several times before that night and I never noticed her. And that’s the thing about men, sometimes we’re blind. Maybe you’re talking on the phone, maybe you’re looking mean, maybe your hair’s not done, maybe we’re focused on something other than females that day. In my case, I must have been blind. My wife would have never said anything to me despite having a crush, and if I didn’t walk up to her who knows how our lives would have turned out. Things worked out for us, that doesn’t mean it’ll work out for you. When you point to other people and say “look it worked for them” you’re making an excuse so you don’t have to change. You’re spewing non-facts based on people who are totally different than you are in order to make yourself feel better when you don’t Spartan up. If someone tells you most marriages end in divorce, are you going to say no to a proposal? If your friends tell you they fuck raw and never got burnt, do you throw away the condoms? Don’t live your life based off what happened to the next bitch, do you.
Men Settle Too: FALSE
Men Choose Women Settle is real, and won’t change until modern day women grow out of this 1950’s housewife mentality of “go to the dance with the first boy that asks, if it’s not the boy you like, oh well, it wasn’t in god’s plan“. Save that Pleasantville shit for the people who see things in Black and White, you live your life in Color, act like it. When you play that Peggy Sue role and only talk to guys who talk to you first then you’re settling. Not only are you settling for conversation because you’re bored, you’re settling for a relationship because you can’t find anyone else. I’ve talked to enough women to know that more times than not, the guy who asked for your number and was “okay but not really my type” becomes your boyfriend after a few dates because you don’t want to be alone anymore. Women have this beautiful ability to see past faults and will allow themselves to fall in love with someone who they KNOW FOR A FACT they can do better than. I mean that’s great for men, what Homer Simpson doesn’t want to end up with Marge (1970’s straight hair mmmm). Yeah he’s a good dude, and he’ll probably make a good father and husband, but that wasn’t what you really wanted. The only men who settle for women in that same way are simps and losers. Sorry but it’s true. Take Tom Cruise for example. He was watching a rerun of Dawson’s Creek on TV, saw Katie Holmes, called his manager and said I want her. He Choose, regardless if Katie was into him or not, he was going to wife that. Maverick Swag.
Hip Hop is the music of the people and if you pay attention, you can learn a lot about the male psyche. From Ma$e to Meek Mill, rappers have crafted hot punchlines comparing the bitches they use to get against the ones they now get. It’s like getting pussy is a game of Angry Birds, and with more money comes the ability to unlock the next stage of bad chicks. That boy working at Footlocker can’t access the Amber Rose’s of the world until he reaches the Taylor Gang level. In reality, any nigga who had $300 and a condom could have gotten Amber Rose out of that strip club, but the point is, men who aren’t confident think the more money they get the better grade of woman they can attract. I believe it was the Victorian poet Mike Jones who wrote, “Back then hoes didn’t want me, now I’m hot, hoes all on me”. Surly Mike Jones had women before he had a record deal. What Michael is really saying is back then he was forced to settle for the mud ducks, now that he has a hit song he can have the girls he really wants. Somewhere a guy is on his Mike Jones shit lying next to his girlfriend thinking of a master plan to get money, drop the chick next to him, and replace her with Meagan Goode– literally. You would think this ugly troll should be happy to have a chick that wants to be with him for him, but he’s not, because hustlers and winners aren’t satisfied with the base model.
I Don’t Say Hi, I Say Keys To The Benz…
Women do not have that “when I get on” mentality. No female talks about, “When I pass this bar exam I’m going to pull me a Ryan Gosling”. A woman’s bank account has nothing to do with the men she pursues. No man is out of your league no matter how broke or how rich you are. Keisha from Inglewood could marry the same man Karen from Beverly Hills can. There is no need to daydream about “better men” the way niggas daydream about “better women”. So with that being said why would you ever settle for just the guys who come up and talk to you? You’re a woman, the most desired thing in the world, that means you should piss confidence. Your vagina is like rocking an Audemar while driving a Bentley; the shit sends a powerful message. With the right swag, any female can have any guy she wants to! Who cares if you have to walk over and ask what the final score of the Broncos game was in order to get him to notice you? Look if it’s broke don’t fix it, if you’re the type of girl who has guys you actually likes coming up to you all the time then you’re doing something right. However, if you’re the type of girl that’s not attracting the quality guys you deserve then your technique is flawed. Stop waiting and start taking action.