We’ve all heard the saying, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket,” as it relates to romance. It’s not a concept that requires abstract thought like Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, it’s about as basic of a fucking metaphor you can say, but apparently some people aren’t smart enough to get it. While watching my favorite overly scripted ratchet reality show Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta, Momma Dee dropped this bombshell on Bambi that Lil Scrappy never puts his eggs in one basket, to which this ditz responded, “Eggs? You mean like other bitches?” I died. Bambi’s clueless response wasn’t just about the metaphorical eggs, it was the light bulb that went off like, “wait, he would do that to me?” Yes, dumb ass, he would do that to you! Why? Because when it comes to the mindset of men, either we go together or we don’t go together. If a man is not engaged, married, or in a long time serious relationship, his eggs are in other baskets, ensuring that if you misbehave, we can freely move on to the next bitch basket, without heartbreak or depression. For example, when you break up with your “exclusive, but not official” boo of six months; you cry and stress to the point of being physically sick because you were 100% invested in that man who suckered you into a half-ass relationship. That same man you’re broken up about will be a sad, but he will be fine in a week or two. It’s not because that man is cold-hearted, it’s because he didn’t invest 100% in your stock. He was 40% into you, 20% into his ex who he was still fucking, 15% into the new crush he’s been trying to pull off Instagram, and he kept the last 25% reserved in case he meets a new chick off Tinder. Relationships end every day, and men can’t afford to be left emotionally bankrupt over a girl he was only half-sure about in the first place.
It’s romantic suicide to invest in a person that you’re not blown away with or sure about, and that goes for men and women. However, women are generally more willing to take that risk and put all their eggs in one basket much more frequently than men because their desire for romance and love blinds them from the warning signs that the nigga she’s crushing on has serious issues and isn’t worth going all in with. To put it in terms Bambi can comprehend: A man who isn’t sold on you will hold back emotionally, because he is looking for something better. This deliberate withholding of his feelings or “eggs” allows men to get over you easier or scout for new pussy to replace you with, without feeling guilty. New Niggas invented exclusive, but not committed relationships aka Situationships because unlike dudes in the 70’s, they realized that you don’t have to say, “be my girlfriend” or “You know I love you” in order to get a girl to give up pussy, mouth, or money. You can call yourself his “Friend,” “Bae,” or whatever makes you feel less guilty about giving up Coochie to a man that won’t commit, but at the end of the day, you are merely a basket holding one or two of his eggs. Every male over 21 knows that you give a girl a little love and affection, and she will assume the rest is on the way. By the time she figures out she’s been played, it’s too late and he’s off to the next basket. To all the women in these starter-kit relationships where a man won’t fully commit, wake the hell up. You can not give guys you just “talk to” husband benefits just because you want to play house! Cock your head, roll your eyes, and tell the world how special you are, but if your relationship status remains, “it’s complicated” that means it’s simple, he thinks he can do better.
Might Can Do Better
How many of the ladies reading this see themselves as a “he could do better, but hopefully he’ll settle for me,” type of woman? Hopefully none, but in reality some man will see you as just that, a shorty that’s good enough to fuck, cuddle with, and date, but not good enough to go all in and commit. To be months into a relationship where “I’m still figuring it out” is the topic of post-sex pillow talk, doesn’t mean he’s being picky and looking for perfection, it’s a reminder that he’s looking for above average, and you’re still stuck on average. Girls stress over not being good enough for men, they beat their face, fry their hair, starve themselves, because they think these dudes want Ms. Perfect. Wrong, they want Ms. Worth it. It’s not about the model looks, it’s not about the phat ass, it’s not even about holding him down financially or emotionally. Men are looking for that clear sign that you are at least a tiny bit different form the other women he’s been with throughout the years that annoyed him or left him uninspired. A man saying, “You’re different” doesn’t count, the proof is in his actions, and 10 out of 10 times being impressively different gets a commitment in less than a month.
Many girls don’t want to hear that they aren’t that different form the next chick, they want to blame men for being confused about what they want or too immature to spot a real woman. Yes, some men are blind to good women, but if you are meeting multiple men who don’t see you as more than Pussy or Homegirl, then you have to reexamine how truly different you are. Your mother, father, godsister, and boy cousin who secretly wants to fuck you has always reminded you that you are super special. Hmm… I wonder why people you know would say positive things about you, but a guy in a relationship doesn’t treat you that way… Again, that’s the problem with false confidence fueled by lies and bullshit; it doesn’t prepare you for the real world. Your ego is telling you that you’re an A-, but the guy you like sees you as a C+, and that’s why you’re a grown woman still stuck in a placeholder relationship. So why would a man waste his time dealing with Ms. Average? Why would a man tell Ms. Average how much he loves her? Why would he eat Ms. Average’s ass? Why would he blow up Ms. Average’s phone when she tries to cut him off? Because even at average, you’re something to do. If a man means what he says and is authentically inspired by you, he will put his eggs all in your one basket like, “fuck it, she’s worth the potential heartbreak.” But, they don’t, so why are do you still continue to wait for these niggas?
You Don’t Chase Men, But You Wait For Men
Men, even the ugly and broke ones, rarely put their eggs in one basket because love parched girls have made it easy to test drive without ever buying. One of the phrases I hear weekly is, “I don’t chase men.” Oh. My. God! You don’t chase these niggas!?! Girl, you’re so rare and special!?! Here’s a cookie, now go share it with your other friends who are just as single as you are. That chase stuff doesn’t mean shit, because most of you do something much worse—you wait. Waiting for a man to decide what he wants from you is more of a crime than chasing after a man. Men do not mind chasing women because we are hunters by nature. There is no ego when it comes to going after what we want because given the choice of chasing a dime or settling for a six, a smart man will say with no shame, “I want her, and watch me go get her.” Women aren’t raised that way; to chase a man is to be thirsty in the female rulebook, so the common way a woman lives life is to wait for men to pursue her then wait for a man to lock her down. Fuck that rulebook, because the most weak bitch thing you could ever do is let a man use you up for months while waiting on him to decide if you are good enough to truly be with. These bottom bitches won’t cut off a man they like, they will simply not call and wait for him to hit her first to apologize, and then toot their horn like, “See, I don’t run after no dick.” Really? How about in the two weeks it takes this dude to call you over to fuck him again aka his form of apologizing, you haven’t done anything but think about him. You may not be actively pursuing him, but he owns your mind to the point where you can’t go out to party, go to work, or dream without him being the main thing on your mind. Again, this is a result of all your eggs being in his weak-ass basket. Think about that with an educated mind, then tell me that waiting on “Him” to make it official isn’t the most basic concept ever invented.
I need every woman reading this to stop thinking emotionally, check your pride and ego, and start thinking logically for the next few minutes. Take yourself out of the equation and think about this:
Paul has been with Kim for seven months, they “love” each other, but they’re in a situationship because Paul is working on being a better man than his father was and can’t handle anything serious blah blah blah. Paul meets you at some Mayweather fight party, and he’s all in your grill. He even tells you about his unofficial girlfriend “complication” but makes it clear that he wants to take you out. Women like to flip their hair, like “I’m a bad bitch, of course he wants to upgrade from the stupid bitch he has at home,” but it’s not upgrading, it’s an interview. Paul is trying to see how different you are from his bottom bitch or FWB not because she’s horrible, but because she’s average, and men as I pointed out, are always looking for at least above average. Maybe you and Paul are compatible and he starts to talk to you, cuts Kim off, and makes you his girlfriend by the end of the month. Perhaps Paul is incompatible with you, and after two dates, he goes back to Kim. Now instead of being the New Pussy with wifey potential, let’s flip this scenario and pretend that you’re Kim the girl who just wants her boo to make it official. You know Paul has commitment issues that aren’t about you (so he says) but you do love him so you stand by this man, never knowing that every time he goes out, he’s trying to get other women. Can you get mad at Paul for shopping around, when honestly you are free to do the same thing?
It’s not about Kim being a dumb bitch for staying in a situationship with a guy who won’t commit; it’s about Kim being in a relationship where there are no rules, but still playing by girlfriend/boyfriend rules. In real life, Kim will hold this guy down, think that they are building towards something real, then the moment Paul goes on a secret date with someone he sees as more his speed, Kim will get ignored. The next thing you know, Paul’s Facebook status is “In a Relationship.” That was supposed to be Kim’s status, how could Paul give it to a girl he barely knows after a few weeks? I’ve said this repeatedly, men know after a week or two if a girl is truly different. Most women are the Kim, the mediocre girls that will wait to be chosen. They are loyal, selfless, and they put all their eggs in that basket called Paul because that’s what honest and loving women do—stand by their man… even though it’s not her man yet.
Paul should tell Kim that she’s a C+, that’s what a real nigga would do, right? Wrong! Read between the lines! If a man that’s sampled your pussy countless times, has had 100s of hours of conversations with you, and has made you comfortable enough where you can shit in his bathroom and not be embarrassed, STILL doesn’t know if he wants to be with you—then that is him telling you that you’re a C+! Stop waiting for men to spell it out for you because, niggas can’t spell! You’re not stupid, you know what “I’m not ready for something serious,” “I’m too busy with my career,” or “I’m still getting over my ex,” really means… You ain’t my top draft pick, so I’m going to keep trading up until I land what I really want… maybe if I never get who I want I may circle back and settle for you, but even then I’m still going to be on the lookout for a better partner.
So many women ask, “How can I get him to see me as a game changer.” You can’t while you’re still thinking like Bambi Basica. Why are you chasing him, when he should be chasing you? Why are you waiting for his decision of if you are wifey material, when he should be trying to prove his hubby worth? He’s at the Mayweather fight party trying hard to take another girl on a real date. You’re at a Mayweather party declining real dates so you can go sit on the edge of the bed with a nigga that doesn’t really want you. The most powerful weapon you can use in dating is, “what you won’t do, the next man will.” You girls try to do that, but then you pull out your phone and the only males you could call is your lame ass platonic male friend and a guy that prefers guys. You have no options, because your silly ass did what society has told you girls to do—date one man at a time, and pray that you’re good enough for him to choose you! Spartans don’t get chosen, they choose.
Stop Asking Questions You Know The Answer To
So where is this going? So what are we building towards? So what do you see as far as our future? You know what the answer will be, “Let’s keep doing what we’re doing.” That answer is a verbal Timberland boot to your ass signaling, “leave me alone you placeholder, and enjoy this ride before I bump into the girl I really want”. Why are you playing mind games with yourself? You know that man isn’t going to change his answer. It’s like when kids go to school and say their parents are going to buy them that brand new bike… but ask the parents and they embarrass the kid by saying, “I never said that! I said maybe one day.” Women go off and brag to other people about how strong their bond is, how she and bae are really serious, but ask the man and he’ll say, “I never said that! I said maybe one day.” His first answer, second answer, and last answer told you repeatedly, “I’m not ready for that (with you).” Get the hint! Love is explosive, it’s passionate, it’s absolute, and never does it include wearing a person down until they see you as special. The longer you wait for a man to tell you you’re good enough to be his girl, the more comfortable you get playing that role. You’re not an official couple, but his actions will blind you into thinking that a commitment is coming. Commitment is not coming, you are in a dress rehearsal playing the role of wifey, and you’re so caught up in your character that you forget the most important thing, the role has never been yours, and this man is still auditioning other women. I don’t care how in love you are with him or the potential of what could be, the truth will set you free, and the truth is you’re giving your all to a man that’s still focused on casting someone better than you.
Stop Being Understanding
He’s going through a tough time at work, at school, with his family, or stuck on the last mission of Grand Theft Auto, so he can’t give you what you want. You understand… at least he’s honest. SMH. Why do some girls say dumb shit like that, “’least he honest about how he feels,” Homie just told you that you’re sub-par and not worth the effort of rearranging his life, and that makes you love him more? Fuck his personal problems and bullshit reasons. If you were to tell a man that you couldn’t be with him because you had to focus on your last year of college, he wouldn’t be like, “I understand,” and then follow you around like a puppy waiting for you to find time. He would pretend to understand, leave the door open for you to change your mind, and then go get at the next bitch. Men aren’t understanding, we’re unapologetically selfish. Look at history, Andrew Jackson didn’t give a fuck about the feelings of the Indians; he took their land and shrugged. Curtis Jackson didn’t think about Ja Rule’s kids and mortgage payments; he buried his career, got rich, and laughed. You can sit there with your moral compass pointed towards the heavens and say, “That’s ignorant,” but the reason men do run the world is because they refuse to put others in front of self. It’s your dating life; you don’t have months to wait on a man to be ready for something serious or emotionally over whatever trauma his 3rd baby mama put him through. You come first! Sure, you compromise—with your boyfriend or husband, you don’t compromise with some nigga who has time to sext, but doesn’t have time to talk the moment you bring up monogamy. Stop being manipulated into being Mother Theresa, these niggas don’t reward niceness.
Stop Being A Band-Aid
When dudes want your eggs out of their basket, they don’t toss you out; they cut a hole in the bottom, and pretend that they didn’t sabotage the relationship. Weak bitches rush to patch that hole up because they are experts at repairing relationships that need to end. You can always tell when a man has New Pussy on his radar, his calls become less frequent, his temper short, and the arguments are random and petty. From my side of the fence, I see that your “Him” is trying to get a new “her,” your naïve ass just sees it as a test. A love thirsty woman will never let go of a bad relationship, she will take the blame and try to fix everything he complains about because she’s afraid of being alone. Why should it be up to a woman to fix a relationship with a man that won’t even claim her as his official girlfriend? That’s like paying to put new brakes on a rental car. You’re maintaining a man that’s not yours and has no intention of being yours because you are desperate for love and affection. You fix marriages, not Situationships, dumb ass.Your boo can act like an asshole, stand you up, yell at you, and ignore your calls, but in the end you plug up that sinking ship for the sake of the team. You’re not a team, you’re solo and delusional! You give him several chances to make it up, you apologize for things you didn’t do, and you even give him space to go interview your replacement under the pretense of getting it out of his system! Again, I ask what the fuck did this society do to you to make you this fucking weak when it comes to dick? You have all of your eggs in his basket, you trust him, you are loyal to him, you love him, and you even invest financially in this man. These types of girls want “Us” to work soooooo bad, that they are willing to put up with this crap, no matter how many times he spits in their face. You don’t even respect yourself so how can you ever get respect from a man? Yet here you are acting like a victim, while claiming to be different and special… bye Basica.
Stop Feeling Guilty
How can a man tell his friend how important she is, and then go pull another chick in the mall a few hours later and not feel guilty. Because he’s single. A lot of you don’t know what single means. Look at your ring finger—if you don’t have a band, then you are single. It’s normal for a man to date multiple women. It’s rare for a woman to date multiple men. It has nothing to do with right or wrong, it’s guilt that keeps the sexes unequal. Guilty Woman logic dictates that if you are talking to a cute guy on the phone and going on dates for two weeks, you can’t go get the number of another cute guy and date him too. Even though you aren’t in a serious relationship, that behavior makes you a disloyal hoe who will be forced to raise her hand every time that Chris Brown song comes on. To avoid this you settle for one guy at a time, 100% investment, hoping that he turns out to be boyfriend material. Count up the months you’ve wasted dating ONE man that turned out to be a piece of shit, when you could have been spreading the wealth, and tell me how smart you feel. A man can tell his homies that he went out with four girls this past weekend and get props. On the other side of the gender fence, a girl can go out with four boys, not fuck any, and her friends will turn their noses up. The moment she opens her mouth to say that she’s popular enough to get four different men to court her, she becomes fast, a hoe, or nasty.
These prehistoric Cavewomen talk shit because they are stupid and don’t understand how to use pussy power without actually giving out pussy. They haven’t evolved so they judge and ridicule out of jealousy and ignorance. I would bet that most women reading this, even those who have read this site regularly, have read Solving Single, and know their power, are still afraid to use it. Guilt, holds you back because the moment you think about flirting with a stranger, taking his number, and getting him to take you out an hour after the last nigga dropped you off, you feel bad. Where does this guilt come from? We’re all human beings, so a man should feel guilty too. Men don’t feel guilty, because they are wise enough not to go all in when they aren’t sure of a woman. When guys get married, they won’t sit back and feel bad about talking to Tanya at the same time as Tina. That shit won’t matter then, and it doesn’t matter now. Women should operate on this same level, but our culture will bash the fuck out of any female who dares to date smarter. That momentary guilt you have when hanging up with one boy to call another, is the old programming trying to keep you basic. You feel wrong because people have told you to feel wrong, but wait ten years and then add up all of the time you wasted dealing with one guy at a time because it felt “right” and you’ll experience true guilt, the guilt of not living life to the fullest.
Start Getting More Baskets
Stop looking at each new man as “the one” and start looking at them as baskets. You find one basket, place an egg, find another basket, place an egg, and then you let them earn more. No matter how much you like one man more than the other, you only reward based off his actions! Competition for your heart is the best way to keep a your feelings honest, and your emotions in check. But NC, men don’t like it when girls talk to more than one guy at a time. And girls don’t like it when men they date talk to other girls, but guess what—guys do it any way. The only time Man comes before Woman is in the dictionary, so fuck what a nigga thinks and do you! Every man you date should know that you are wanted by other men, and if he doesn’t date properly, show real attention, and treat you with respect, he loses his spot! Date with that kind of mentality for the rest of your life and see how fast these men will try to commit to you within the first month. This guilt about men finding out you are talking to other guys or girls gossiping about how loose your morals are; those are weak bitch brain waves that hold you back. You kill weak bitch brain waves by thinking like a Spartan and not giving a fuck about anyone whose name isn’t on your driver’s license. Are you going to be Jhené Aiko sitting at home talking about how you don’t need him, but you still want some lame ass nigga, or are you going to Quentin Tarantino your romantic life and start auditioning multiple men instead of just handing out the role of boyfriend to the first guy that shows you attention?