The average woman dates with her eyes shut. She knows all the questions she should ask a man on a date, but settles for the information that he volunteers. She overhears comments he makes to other people that contradict things he’s said in the past, but will front as if she didn’t hear anything. When a girl does ask a serious question, they rarely follow up, not because they don’t want to know, but because they’re afraid to know too much. The majority of females would rather fall in love under the rules of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, because history has proven that too good to be true guys are often revealed to be full of shit under cross examination. Why test a man you know will fail, when ignorance feels so fucking blissful? By the time a woman enters into a legit relationship with a non-vetted man she’s so accustomed to ignoring “the small things” that even the brightest of red flags is filed as just a misunderstanding. YOU DON’T GET IT, HE’S DIFFERENT is the rally call the first month when your head is buried in the sand. I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP, WHY DIDN’T I LISTEN TO MYSELF is the remorse felt after your head is forced out of the sand. Men are horrible liars, but a male’s saving grace is that women turn a blind eye depending on how thirsty she is to make him fit into the boo box. One woman recently told me, “I wanted it to work so bad that I convinced myself that my mind was playing tricks on me.” Think about that. You would rather convince yourself that you’re crazy than rock the boat by confronting a man or having a deep conversation about the holes in his story.
The truly insane thing is that women are natural detectives. They do drive-bys, break into phones, hack emails or social media accounts, and then sit on their discoveries because they don’t want to be judged as insecure and paranoid. The real issue isn’t the invasion of privacy, it’s the source of this cowardice. The real reason you’ve allowed yourself to devolve into the ratchet version of Veronica Mars is that you are in love with a person who gives you little reason to trust them. Nine out of ten women are currently in relationships with men they don’t trust. Poll these chicks and they will tell you how trust is the most important thing they need to get into a relationship, but they refuse to practice what they preach. When faced with a man that’s good on paper but suspicious in his actions, women keep their mouths closed. A girl will keep her hand raised when questioning her friend’s man, but when it comes to her own it’s, “I give him his space…” Why are you so fucking hypocritical and weak? He has a career and doesn’t live with his mother, therefore you aren’t going to ask him anything too annoying or digging because it took you two years to find someone like that. He doesn’t have any kids and knows how to date like a gentlemen, so you aren’t going to question inconsistencies in his behavior because you don’t want to go back to dating men with Baby Mamas. Men today aren’t held accountable. They are in the habit of telling women what they feel like telling them, and most women actually listen when they are told “mind your business.” I often hear basic bitches say, “I didn’t ask because he told me that he doesn’t like girls who ask a lot of questions.” Why would a man say that, ladies? He’s training your dumb ass to accept your role. Again, women aren’t stupid, they have amazing intuition, but they swallow shit and call it pudding in order to appease and keep a man who doesn’t want to be exposed emotionally. Every woman reading this has the right to ask questions, to point out suspect behavior, and to hold a man accountable when his words ring hollow. So the question is why do too many women sacrifice trust, in order to attain love?
What Do You Really Know About Men
You can’t unlearn the truth. It was so easier to date when you were younger because you were naïve and had no clue what men were truly about. Women assume that men are just like them, minus the Vagina and ability to walk around Sephora for an hour without tiring. Men don’t think anything like women, our minds are much simpler and our intentions are usually black and white. Women on the other hand think steps ahead, their brains piling thoughts on top of thoughts as they over analyze everything and think that every action or conversation means something deeper. I want every woman reading this to forget everything she believes about men. Sure you may be able to theorize about male behavior, but few women have the insight where they can be face to face with a guy and filter his game from his sincerity. Girls are still confused about where to go to meet men, but if they knew men they would automatically know where men go. Girls are still confused about what to say on their first phone conversation, but if they knew men they would know how to steer conversations without anxiety. Even if you’re in a relationship right now and think that’s proof that you know how a male operates, I’m still telling you that you know nothing! Most of you in relationships are constantly going through ups and downs because you’re guessing. You don’t know what your boyfriend or husband really think or why he’s acting the way he’s acting, because your entire relationship has been built on assumptions based on false information. My mother says men act like this because… My male best friend says men act like this because… My boss at work says men act like this because… You’re reaching for answers in all the wrong places! I’m going to lay out the core things every woman should know about men. Some of this may conflict with what you believe based on past experiences, but fuck your belief. I know how men think and I’m not afraid to reveal the truth. 90% of you will still get played and manipulated because you’re not ready to date with your eyes open. But for the 10% of you who are ready to comprehend and use it in real life, this will help you conquer.
Love Is Not a Goal
Men aren’t obsessed with love. We don’t lay up at night wondering what love feels like. We don’t worry if a girl we’re talking to is truly in love or just deep in-like. There is no empty hole in our hearts that needs to be filled with a woman’s love. Men don’t chase love, we expect love! Every man wants to be appreciated and cared for, but that kind of affection is like oxygen, we’ve been spoiled with it our entire lives, so why would we ever chase it? When a man is a child, even one without a father, he’s spoiled with love from his mother (or grandmother) and constantly given praise that he’s a young king, a smart boy, going to grow up to be special… Single mothers especially over spoil their male children to compensate for the father’s not being around. There are exceptions, such as when guys come from broken homes or were abused, and these types never understand love, but most of the male population aren’t like Messy Cisco from Love & Hip Hop, with his Mommy Issues. As a boy grows into a teenager, he may feel anxiety over girls he crushes over but who don’t like him back, but even that fades the moment he gets his first real girlfriend who plays the Bottom Bitch role of raising his little ego and reaffirming his greatness. Playing similar roles as his mother or other female family members, those first few girlfriends nurture and show love without a man putting in any real work. Any guy reading this can tell you, we don’t do shit to make a girl fall in love. No poems, no flowers, no special coochie licking trick, girls simply love us for us. Men have insecurity when it comes to money or success, but not the ability to get love. By the time a man reaches his mid-twenties, multiple women will have told him how much they have loved him over the years, and proved that love via submissive or selfless behavior.
As a male you don’t have to be the tallest, the cutest, the most athletic, or even get your hair cut regularly in order to be some ladies dream guy. When you are used to being damn near worshiped like that, it becomes expected. Women in comparison often feel as if they need to do something in order to receive love. Treat a man the way their mothers say to treat a man. Get bigger breasts. Compromise even when he’s in the wrong. Internally women are willing to do whatever it takes to solve the riddle of how to get that warm unconditional love from Prince Charming, whereas a man knows that he doesn’t have to do shit, but be himself to get that same love. Guys will be nervous about if they will be able to sleep with a certain girl, but never stressed over if a girl he’s dealing with will love him. Why? Women love showing love, it’s a gender role that has never died out, and the reason that the argument “Wait until he sees that no other woman will treat him like me,” usually fails. Sorry to say, most women WILL love him just as hard as you have. There is a huge discrepancy between the sexes in turns of reciprocation. As men we never really have to go out of our way to prove love unless it’s a special occasion, and that makes many of us insensitive. There are women who have this idea that when they do find real love it will feel HUGE and shine bright because that’s what Romantic fantasies promote. But in reality, all most girls get is a quick, “Love you too, call you when I get off.” Men don’t buy into this concept of show love to get love, because there are always women willing to give us love without getting anything in return. There are sensitive men that will shower love, I’m not saying they aren’t out here and ready to reenact Carrie & Big in Paris. However, men who are overly romantic on that grand level often get “he’s too nice” friend zoned because that softness isn’t the masculine love that many women are chasing.
When men listen to women complain about, “I give him my all and that isn’t good enough,” we shrug because that shit isn’t good enough. That may sound arrogant, and it is in a certain light, but let me break it down this way. Some of you ladies are extremely pretty, like to the point where you’ve been complimented on your looks nearly every day of your lives. In order to win over a dime, you can’t just tell her she’s pretty and shower her with compliments, she needs something extra because praise is normal. The same way compliments become the default for bad chicks, having a woman love you has become the default for even the most average of men. To have a girl start to love him is the normal first step for a man, rarely the end goal that he feels pressured to build to. When a woman thinks about marriage the first thought is often the actual wedding. Men don’t need a big showcase to say, “I’m loved and look how big we’re expressing it.” Love is something to feel good about and to be celebrated, but the core difference between men and women is that men prefer to celebrate it intimately. When you’re a female that hasn’t had great relationships or maybe you’ve been underappreciated for years, there will be a part that wants to publically show that things have changed and you fit that glass slipper. Men are more of the mindset of, just put the fucking slipper on and let’s go.
Maturity Won’t Make Him Want You
Love alone does not complete a man, it’s the other parts of a woman’s personality that determines if she is a Game Changer. It’s not just enough to be shown affection, a man has to be entertained, engaged, and inspired in addition to simply being loved. That is where the confusion begins because women don’t see love as standard, they see it as a luxury addition that should be appreciated and rewarded. I can see that from the woman’s side of things and empathize, but as a man I know the truth about our feelings, and the L word really doesn’t move us by itself. You think another girl will put up with your bullshit and love you like me? YES WE DO! We have proof, because the girl before you said the same thing. The real reason Hoes have been winning in record numbers and the reason men marry bitches, is that those women don’t act typical. There you are breaking your neck to take a man soup because he’s sick, and as soon as he’s healthy he’s running red lights to go visit a bitch that didn’t even check in on him when he was coughing up a lung. Your love is ‘aight, but her lack of expressed love is confusing, upsetting, and different, thus it creates a challenge that needs to be conquered; and we all know men love to be challenged even though we front like we love submission.
In an ignorant woman’s mind, most men are emotionally unavailable beasts, who need more and more love in order to one day see the light. These silly rabbit keeps showering men with affection and selfless behavior in hopes that he will realize that her love is real. He knows your love is real, you don’t have to keep proving yourself. The reason he’s not jumping for joy is that he doesn’t want your unconditional love, he wants you to be a real fucking person that he can relate to and respect. There is no real love unless their is real respect, and the truth is men don’t see women as equals due to this cater by any means, mindset. Men don’t want you to be their mother, they want you to be their muse. Women have been misinformed about how to keep a man happy for years. A woman will listen to a guy’s mother about how to spoil him. She listens to Kitchen Bitches who swear that you have to give him a plate of chicken wings to come home to each night. She listens to her oversexed cousin who swear that sucking his dick five days a week will keep him from straying. In the end, none of that shit matters, it goes back to being different. Any girl can bow down, but few know how to stand up. Where these fraud chicks get it twisted is that they act fake powerful. “These men don’t really want a successful, independent woman.” Bullshit. They don’t want a girl that has a chip on her shoulder and throws the fact that she doesn’t need a man in his face constantly. They don’t want a Basica that believes having a job is a special attribute. A woman being able to pay her own bills is not the definition of powerful, it’s the definition of normal. What you bring to the table may seem like a lot when you compare yourself with a Welfare Queen, but it’s typical to men who date a multitude of women.
What are we thinking when we choose to settle down? We’re not thinking at all, it just happens because that woman blows our mind in a very short period of time. So many of you feel as if the proper way to find Mr. Right is to hang around and prove your loyalty. You can’t wear a man down, because even if he rewards you with the title, most likely it’s a settle title to shut you up, which is why 99.9% of those relationships or marriages fail. Men make choices fast, they don’t need months! I think you’re cool, I like fucking you, and our conversations are good… but I don’t want you as my woman. Why not? Because you don’t feel right! “Well tell me what I have to do in order to make this feel right, I love you!” Love isn’t the magic finale, it’s an opening act trick and we’re bored! Either a woman moves a man in a passionate way or she doesn’t, I’ve wrote two books outlining this but a lot of you still aren’t following the steps to be different. Yes, Maturity does help a man understand what kind of women he really needs… but maturity alone won’t make him circle back and choose you. If we dated when I was 24 and didn’t appreciate you, coming back at age 30 may make me realize new things and compliment those qualities as better than a few other women, but it will also prove what I already knew at age 24—I could do better. Women who think the solution is to wait for a man to mature are delusional. If he only half wanted you then, he will only half want you later. Powerful, different, electrifying, if a woman shows those qualities, it doesn’t matter how mature a man is, he will lock her down, because those women are rare.
Sex is Honey not Glue
One of the best conversations I have with the fellas is about the stock that women put into the fact that you had sex with them or tried to have sex with them. As men we know for a fact that fucking you or attempting to fuck you has nothing to do with if we like you as a person. Sexual attraction could mean that we find you beautiful and think you’re a cool person who we could be with… but most likely it only means that some part of you makes our dicks hard. I understand why women think sex means more, because men sell it as if it does. Males manipulate in order to bust a nut, and there is no limit to the bullshit he will whisper in your ear to make sure it happens sooner than later. She has a big ass that turns you on, so you lie and say that her face is pretty. She has a face that inspires nightly wet dreams, so you swear that it’s not her looks, but her personality that makes her special. She’s intelligent and swears she knows the game, so you roll over and play dumb and appeal to her want to dominate a man. Men play off of the female ego in order to get the pussy faster, and it works more times than not because smart men know where girls are weak at. Every woman wants her man to see her as superior to other women, it’s a shallow ass want that is extremely easy to exploit if you have good game. When these girls take to social media talking about how their Pussy on Fleek, or whatever dumb vagina bragging slang they’ve invented this week, guys that get pussy (not the simps that inbox, “I’m trying to find out”) sit back and laugh. Your kitty ain’t on fleek, it’s on 87 regular, because any regular nigga can pump it. Eat a girl’s pussy and text her the next day about how it tasted better than Cheddar Bay biscuits; that shit does damage. Smash a girl, and then make jokes about how she has that kind of box that will have a nigga stalking her; it does damage. We as men know that women want to believe so bad in their own uniqueness, and sex compliments always do the trick. No woman has the ability to grow a dick and sample how good another girl’s pussy is, so they rely on men to rank them. “I know the girl he got at home ain’t got a pussy like mine, because he says so.” Listen to yourself! Listen to the source of your praise, someone who is benefiting from your ego fueled stupidity.
He went raw, that means he sees me as someone he could marry. No bitch, a proposal is the only proof of a man seeing you as someone he could marry. Having a dude’s baby will never be as special as having a dude’s last name. Guys bust in girls just to have kids with a certain hair texture, not because they plan on sticking around with those women, so the “Raw sex means…” debate is asinine. 21st century dudes are reckless, which means that rawing a girl has once again become the norm not the exception. Look at all the strippers and Thot models that snitched on Drake, the consensus was “he wanted to go raw because he wanted to feel all of me.” Duh! Do you not know how superior raw sex is to condom sex? It’s not just men with money, because your local Unemployed Call of Duty expert is rawing chicks too at even higher rates. The ignorance comes into play because women assume that constant sex means something. A man who is willing to get you pregnant trusts and loves you—negative! Sometimes it feels too good to pull out in time—oh well. Sometimes it feels so good that you’ll pay for the abortion—it’s only money. Sometimes the nut blinds you and you only realize that you fucked up months later—Say hello to wage garnishment. Men don’t think ahead, they think with the head, and sadly women who buy into “We do it unprotected because we love each other,” get fucked over on the regular when his slip up turns into a real situation where he has to be responsible yet isn’t.
You can get on your soapbox and scream, “Men shouldn’t have sex with women they don’t like or love,” but you’re missing the entire point. This isn’t about how you as a woman feel about the importance of sex, this is about how the majority of men see it. Men routinely have sex with women they don’t like or love, so to tell males to only put their dicks in those they have genuine tested feelings for is ludicrous! A man doesn’t date to make sure you’re worthy of his dick, he’s dating to win his way between your legs. Whether or not you’re a cool person has nothing to do with if his dick will or won’t get hard enough to penetrate you. As a woman, you may wait for a relationship, wait for love, or just fuck when the feeling moves you, but as men our sexual lives aren’t that complex. If she looks good, we’ll probably fuck. If she has some fetishized body part, we’ll probably fuck. If it’s easy and convenient, we’ll probably fuck. Like and Love are rarely part of the equation when determining which girls we will or won’t have sex with. A woman can wake up the next day and lament about how she gave an unworthy nigga her pussy and cry. No man is waking up with tears like, “I can’t believe I gave her this precious dick!” Our dicks, don’t mean anything! Yes, it sounds savage, but I’m being honest. This doesn’t mean that every man you meet is just after sex, it means that you shouldn’t allow his pursuit of you to fool you into believing it’s more serious than it is. More importantly knowing how a man feels about sex should keep you from assuming that just because he stopped reaching for the condom after the third time, that it’s an admission of commitment.
Fear of Being Exposed
Women talk too much. Men like to talk too, but as males we generally find that the topics women like to go off about are basic and uninteresting. What girls were being lazy at work, what girl was being fake online, what guy was trying to get at you, what member of your family you’re mad at this week. Niggas don’t really want to hear about that shit. Men talk about basic shit too, but women, to their credit can fake interest way better. This annoyance isn’t a deal breaker, and it’s something that with maturity men learn to accept. What won’t ever be accepted are those women that tell all of their personal business to outside parties. Men listen to how you talk. If you’re the type that goes back and tells her bff about the small argument, you’re the type that will do the same with the big ones. If you’re the type that will reveal all your Ex-boyfriends secrets in bed at night, what’s to stop you from doing that after you two break up? There are two types of loyalty; the stand by his side and help him overcome tough times loyalty. Then there is the, keep your mouth shut about personal drama, even if the only person you’re sharing it with is your mother, loyalty. The moment a man hears you run and tell things to a third party, it goes on your permanent record. “Why are you running your mouth!” Is the one argument that men love to start because it’s the most personal. We as men don’t run and tell people that can use that information against us or judge us for it. In male culture a prostitute or mistress is safer to confide in than someone’s cousin or mother, because whores don’t stay around long enough to say, “But remember that time when he did this to you…”
Many of you are dealing with men who you don’t trust because they refuse open up and share on the level that you share. He’s afraid of being exposed by your big mouth. It’s not that these men have something to hide, it’s most likely because you have already proven that you aren’t trustworthy with his secrets. How can you tell your innermost fears to a woman that puts her entire life on Instagram? Can you really confide in a woman that subtweets her problems after every fight? How can you go all in as a partner with a woman that needs her friend’s opinion after each argument? What man can seriously settle down with a woman that has a habit of throwing the past in his face the moment she feels threatened? Crying followed by, “I’m sorry baby, I just needed someone to vent to,” will not reset his feelings of mistrust. Guys may not remember anniversary dates, but they will remember the date when you brought up the past in an attempt to hurt his feelings or prove a point. Men have commitment issues and trust issues because most women do kiss and tell or drag up the past in ways that emasculate them. I understand as women there is a habit of internal talking with friends that goes on in order to get through the tough times, but unlike a therapist those friends snitch. We men have survived and thrived for centuries without needing to confide in anyone, therefore we will never accept this notion that you couldn’t keep personal issues between the two people involved.
So What Do We Want?
Why be overly nice if you only want sex… Why get into a relationship if you’re not sure if I’m The One… Why cry for me to stay if you’re going to keep acting the same… Why waste my time, if you don’t see me as a Game Changer?
The moral of the story is, men are simple. We want to have a good stress free time, without the complication of Where Is This Going!!! We don’t date to find a wife, we date to find a better grade of pussy. We don’t long for a partner, we long for a girl that we’re comfortable with who won’t mind coming over at 2am. We don’t fight to keep you because we want to have you forever, we fight to keep you because we don’t feel like training a new bitch. We don’t act jealous because we’re grooming you to be our wife, we act jealous because we don’t like other niggas playing with our toys. Is this what we need? No it’s a shallow want and wanting is all we focus on because we live in the present. When a woman asks a man “Why” it’s like asking what the meaning of life is… what’s the grand scheme of our existence? No one wants to hear, “There is no meaning, just live!” That feels empty and depressing, but most of the time what a man wants isn’t anything special or deep. Sex is a driving force, but even after sex men will hang around and enjoy your company because it’s Something To Do.
No woman wants to be “something to do,” but many of you are. You’re the lock the door behind you bitch, not the let me walk you to your car, baby. You’re the come thru ho, not the what time should I pick you up, princess. The fucked up thing is that you KNOW THIS already. I began with this idea of a failure to cross examining men and the suppression of red flags, and it all points directly to this last revelation. When you actually dig into what a man wants from you, the answer you will most likely get via his words or his actions is, “I don’t want anything from you, you’re just something to do.” As a man I can talk to one of my boys in private and we can discuss girls in a real way. He can say, “Shorty’s cool and a real nice girl, but I’m not going to marry her– ever!” But for a man to be brutally honest and say that to a woman will ruin everything he has going and then he’s back thirsting for a new something to do. Therefore, both parties keep the lie going. Men want to keep having their comfort chick and women want to keep hope alive that something will change, but these lies are toxic on both ends.
Women stress over keeping a man happy, then get annoyed when a man remains carefree and unwilling to work as hard in that relationship. Men are carefree and lazy because most of these relationships aren’t that serious in our minds, it’s Summer Camp. So does this mean that no man is romantic or looking to marry? Incorrect! Every man is on the lookout for The One, we do recognize greatness EVEN when we are in our Ho Stage, but most girls fail to impress on that Game Change level. You’re probably the best Something To Do girl he’s ever met, but the fact remains that there is something about you that he doesn’t like that will never graduate you to a Game Changer. You’re not a Muse, you’re a convenience. You’re not a soulmate, you’re someone to watch Netflix with. You’re not his best friend, you’re the girl he forgot to pull out of and has to raise a kid with. Your role in a man’s life is not a secret if you’re brave enough to open your eyes and ask the hard questions. Men won’t ever tell you that you’re Something To Do, but they drop hints constantly! You may never have experienced real love from a man, but you’ve experienced game, so when a man is saying one thing, but treating you the opposite, you should automatically know what time it is. If you find yourself questioning if you’re loved, then you are not loved!
The million dollar question becomes, “Tell me what I have to do to make him see me as more than Something To Do. How can I get him to realize I am a Game Changer” You haven’t been paying attention! You operate in a world where every woman wants to go above and beyond in order to get chose and the motto across the board is: What new ways can I be submissive and kiss his ass so he keeps me around. The women that win in real life aren’t the ones that bow down to what a man says he wants, but those that challenge him to accept what he needs. You think Michelle Obama doesn’t push Barack Obama out of his comfort zone? You think she’s bending over backwards to prove her love for fear that he may up and leave? So many of you women are afraid to question a man let alone challenge him on a mental and emotional level, that’s why you get fucked over. The moment you act like all the others, is the moment he treats you like all the others. Men want equals, not fans! You have love to give and a college degree, take a ticket and get in line! Men don’t want your simple boring love, they want Yoko Ono. Men don’t want your Cosmo magazine sex positions and home cooked meals, they want passion and personality. All of this Assembly Line Pussy, recycling the same techniques, KiKi’ing at the same jokes, and struggling with the same problems because at the end of the day they are members of Team Fake Different. As men we have seen enough parody between women to know after a month that you are not fundamentally different from the next chick. No matter how hard you love and sacrifice it will never be enough because you’re a cubical pretending to be a corner office with a view. Come into a relationship knowing who you are, not as this generic stereotype that wants to love someone just because you’ve been brainwashed to nurture. Stop trying to fit into what you think a man wants, and showcase some originality. It’s not about what a man wants a woman to be, it’s about a woman being confident enough to be who she truly is despite the box society tells her she should fit into in order to find happiness. Love yourself the same way you’re trying to love these men, that’s where you start on your road to being a Game Changer.