In the elevator I walked into 30 seconds of two girls talking about when to suck dick. I shit you not. These ladies had no shame in their game; one girl was telling her rookie friend that she has to go down on her crush before it’s too late. That’s the most I really caught before she turned at me un-embarrassed and said, “you guys lose interest fast”. To which I replied ‘sometimes’. And she remarked something like “if you go down then it will be no-times” to her girlfriend. It was one of those things where it happened so fast that I didn’t even realize what they were talking about until after I got off. Sucking Dick to keep a man interested, okay, June Cleavers have been doing that since GI’s came home in the 40’s from Europe wanting their square wives to suck it like the French do. But for chicks to use head as an introduction to a relationship—I can’t get down with that.
I love getting head, but I won’t take you seriously if you’re blowing me after a week of knowing me. I’m sorry. My mind wonders and I’m going to think if it was this easy for me, how many times has this bitch used her mouth as a daycare? Girls sucking dick use to be a secret. If a girl was too pretty niggas use to speculate—oh I bet she think she too cute to suck dick. Easy head was something we got from ugly chicks who liked us too much. To know that pretty little chicks like the ones in the elevator are using Deep Throat as the new promise ring makes me question the level of mouth respect in America today.
The first time I got head is funny because it took me long as hell to get it. I lost my virginity but didn’t get head until nearly two years later, that’s how difficult it used to be, or maybe I just didn’t know how to ask. Sue me; I didn’t have a Father around to tell me, “Son, asking a bitch to ‘kiss it’ will not get you domed up”. Poll Question. Who gets more head Men or Women? That’s what my friend Chenia called and asked me one time. I said women. My rational was that a woman could get head 9 out of 10 times regardless of how she looked because niggas are obsessed with putting their face in wet places. She told me I was wrong. And you know what, she was right. Men get more head because girls don’t respect the mouth. The female mouth should be more coveted than the pussy. Maybe it’s just me but I don’t put that much stock in getting the vagina at this point it’s to be expected… and I guess getting a girl to play pin the babies on her tonsils the first night is to be expected too. I use to think that it went pussy-head-ass. That’s the holy trinity of sex in that order. It shouldn’t go head-pussy-ass
Two stories that foreshadowed this current epidemic. In College I liked this girl. I got her over to the room and she asked me what I was doing, was I leading her on, did I really like her—I said “I just want some head”. I swear to god, I’ve never came off at a girl like that, after realizing that “just peck him” was lame as fuck as a teenager, I never said anything, I just went to the good old head grab or whip it out technique. For me to actually have the balls to ask this girl that was crazy. Then she said, “Is that all” and did it. I never talked to her romantically again. Why? Because she sucked my dick and all I had to do was ask her to do it. ARE YOU SERIOUS THIS CAN’T BE THAT EASY! She didn’t respect her mouth. I don’t respect a girl who doesn’t respect her mouth. What am I supposed to do with you? Take you on a date? Kiss you? You took my load with the lights on while my boys were in the next room. I can’t wife you knowing that you have an easy mouth! Next story, the girl with the biggest Titties ever. Flat ass, little waist, but she had one of those bust size that make the bitches at Victoria Secret hide their measuring tape when she comes in. I liked her okay, she was a cool chick. I took her to see a movie, we came back and she started giving me head. I didn’t even pop for it, or maybe I did, who cares. The point is she’s there going to work, telling me how she loves things in her mouth. I’ve never heard a girl talk so much between slurps. She told me this shit I will never forget, “I get wet just brushing my teeth” that’s how much she liked objects in her mouth. Don’t tell me that! You tell me that on the phone when you’re trying to get me worked up, when you’re sucking my dick that just makes me think “must use two condoms when I’m hitting it”. We had sex; I got the post sex head. Went to sleep, she was playing with it again, I got hard, and instead of putting it in, I got the head for the third time and then went back to sleep. She’s mad because she wants to have sex again, and I’m done with her.  She says this, “I knew I should have just gave you head and waited for the rest”.
She blew it, literally and figuratively. You gave me the head and pussy the first night because you liked me. But if you wanted me to like you back, and more importantly, wanted me to see you again you wouldn’t have emptied your fucking cupboard. I’m all for girls doing them and getting their nut and saying “fuck a nigga”. My beef isn’t with being horny and letting loose, I encourage casual sex. This wasn’t an after the club hookup or an I like you let’s just do it. This girl wanted to be with me, and it didn’t turn me off that she was easy to have sex with, I hold that against no female. My beef is that she sucked my dick with no lead up. As much as I enjoyed it, it rubbed me the wrong way because my entire life all of my real girlfriends have waited months to do that. You can’t hustle backwards by taking the fun out of the chase. I took a few mouth virginities, and that joy right there gave me more satisfaction than anything. I like the hunt of getting head. Tell me how good you suck dick, describe in detail how your head game is vicious. I’d love to hear it, I’m going to pop to get it several times, but that doesn’t mean you should give in to my demands. You don’t trap the Coyote by giving him the fucking Roadrunner at the beginning of the episode, you hit him over the head with the anvil a few times. 
The girls in the elevator where thinking “if you suck his dick, he’ll want to make me his girl” and I wish I was in the Sears Tower because I would have spent that entire elevator ride poking holes through their flawed logic. If you’re a chick who cums from giving head or you just generally enjoy sucking dick, do it. Don’t let me stop you from living your dream. But if you’re doing it to get or keep a man, no gold stars for you. I’m sure there are some guys who can get whipped by the brain and then stay around because they want the coochie. If you are going to go head-pussy-ass then I hope you have a bomb ass personality. Give him head the 2nd date, give him the ass on the 18th date does nothing but frustrate a nigga. A warm mouth no matter how Lava her technique is won’t keep the dog on the leash especially when today’s women are giving out blowjobs like they’re home loans during the Bush administration. 
Save your MOUTH for someone you LOVE.

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