Men don’t fear commitment… they fear committing to the wrong woman.
The Solution: Men test you, to see if you’re like the rest. The irony is that I’ve talked to thousands of women since I started this site, I’ve heard all the stories, and the one thing women need to understand is that there are more of you who ARE “just like the rest” than there are Unicorns. My job is to change that. I don’t care if it’s Ho Tactics or Date Like A Spartan; the agenda is to hold a mirror up to your face and say, “Stop being basic before it’s too late!”
What do men really want when it comes to dating, and how do you bottle that up, become what they need and fast tract that to a serious committed relationship? The answer is much simpler than you think.
- Men want peace.
- Men want to be heard.
- Men want to be respected.
- Men want to have fun… this last one will be the key.
Most relationships never get off the ground or crash hard because it’s all fun in the beginning. You go on dates, you listen to his ideas, philosophies, and general life story. You flirt, tease, and it’s all a good time. He likes you because dating you is EASY. Then… the pressure comes into play. If he’s not moving in the way you want or are used to, you get annoyed, attitude comes in, small arguments lead to passive-aggressive behavior, or full-blown arguments.
A woman once told me, “If men want peace, then they should stop doing dumb shit.” And that’s the catch-22, is he doing dumb shit or is he just not doing things YOUR WAY? In a man’s mind, “a good woman” isn’t the same as having a new mother. The moment a man feels you’re trying to boss him around or change him, no matter if it’s during the dating stage or in the relationship stage, he’s going to find a way OUT.
You’re not respecting him; you’re telling him what to do. You’re not his peace; you’re annoying. You don’t listen to him anymore, you hear what you want to hear, and jump to conclusions. And you’re not fun, you’re mean, boring, and not even good pussy is worth the headache you’ve become… 80% of you reading this fit into this category.
There are weak Beta men who need motherly women to fix them, lead them, and wipe their ass. Then there are Alpha men who will fall back the moment you pull that shit. Alphas have become successful by being dominant, not submissive. They negotiate, but unlike a Beta, they can’t be led. The problem is, the men most of you are attracted to have Alpha energy, and you don’t understand why they don’t want you. Allow me to break it down.
How We Think As Men: Don’t pressure me to do more, I want to do more on my own to show you how I feel. Don’t rush me for a relationship, don’t correct my mistakes, and don’t talk negatively about my friends or family. Don’t smother me with your attention or affection; too much makes me uncomfortable. Don’t expect me to read your mind, and don’t get mad because I’m not telling you everything that’s on my mind. Don’t see my silence as a problem. Don’t see my distance as proof that I’m after another woman. Don’t put words in my mouth, don’t fight my battles, and never accuse without a conversation.
Too many of you ladies have been raised to “chase love” instead of allowing love to find you. Those Disney movies, bullshit romance novels, and basic bitch reality competitions have brainwashed you, where you think in order to be truly loved, you need to earn a man’s heart by going above and beyond. This miseducation has a generation of women out here trying to Girl Boss themselves into marriage, tap dancing for dick, only to end up alone because we as men know that’s the opposite of what we need.
Ladies: Does he like you for you, or because you’re doing things for him? Sugar Mama behavior or spoiling men in order to be taken seriously doesn’t make you wifey, it makes you a clown. “I got you,” is the motto of insecure women whose fathers never taught them that Queens don’t date down.
Relationships don’t need constant stimulation or course correction to work. Trying to overcompensate by mothering a man, nagging him, or being clingy isn’t “love,” it’s an insecurity inside of you that reveals a scary secret: I’m not good enough, so I have to make sure to bring something to the table for him to keep from leaving.
Unemployed men need fixing. Alcoholics need fixing. That guy who isn’t using his degree and playing Call of Duty all day needs fixing. Guys who are actually winning, the dudes you could build an empire with, don’t need you to save them. But you can’t help yourself from, you STILL do too much, and that’s why they pass you up in favor of the next woman.
Understand that genuine love doesn’t require work. It blooms without being extra. That’s the true meaning of unconditional. But you continue to overwater the garden because you have this imposter syndrome, which makes you feel undeserving. It’s time to recognize that you don’t have to do the most to receive the bare minimum.
Modern dating has become about fixing each other, reassuring each other, learning love languages, holding space, and all this new-age bullshit that only serves to confuse the nervous system. It’s time to learn how to receive love without pushing people away. You are enough, you’ve just forgotten how to live in that kind of power… Let’s get you back on track.
Why Men Play Games With You
A man marries a 24 year old woman… “he just wants to control her because she’s young and dumb”
A man marries a 34-year-old casino waitress… “he just wants to control her because she’s pretty and dumb.”
“This Baddie culture needs to end, and real women need to make a comeback…” shut up, Basica. These ratchet baddies are fun, you, your degree, and your elitist attitude are boring as fuck.
The reality is, men choose women who are fun, sexy, no pressure, and chill as fuck. Women who look out by being considerate, not those who think they’re helping by being bossy. Most of you aren’t a good time unless you’re naked. A few months into dating, you stop being fun and exciting because your emotions come into play. Anxiety, overthinking, trying to solve problems that aren’t there, or shutting down the moment you feel like you won’t get what you want: These are signs that you’re mentally stunted and emotionally damaged.
Healing isn’t going to therapy. Healing isn’t reading a book. Healing isn’t being celibate. Healing is looking at your past or current relationship and recognizing the patterns. So you can become the kind of woman who exudes the energy and attitude that men chase…
Here’s a portion of an email someone sent in to my podcast…
“I was with a man for 8 months, and after he didn’t get me anything for my birthday or see me my birthday weekend, I confronted him. Why did this clown text me that he had met someone new and didn’t want to ruin my week by breaking the news. I went to his house, cursed him out, but ended up having sex with him. For the past three weeks I’ve seen him twice to talk, but we ended up fucking each time. After reading your book, I now know it’s not about him or this new girlfriend. It’s about me. I’m sick to my stomach that a guy could date me for so long, not give me a title and commit to another woman under my nose. I’ve sunken so low G. My only flex is being able to fuck another girl’s so-called man, a man that told me in actions and in words that I was never good enough for him…”
The reality of modern dating is that a man will be everything you want for 8 months and choose another girl. Sure he’ll still fuck you, because the flesh is weak, but what is his rejection saying?
The guy you’re with will one day do this to you. The next guy you swipe on a dating app will one day do this to you. This woman’s story isn’t out of the ordinary, she’s no different than most of you reading these words. And like her, I’m going to show you how to truly heal and find love, not a time waster.
PART 1: AVOIDING THE MALE MIND FUCK
Dick Tactics, the male version of Ho Tactics, are easy to spot if you aren’t emotionally invested. But the moment you bond with a man, like him, and buy into his story, he’s no longer a fuck boy, he’s bae. The key to winning is not to get too attached too soon. I can write all day about avoiding men like Mr. 8 months, but 80% of you reading this won’t listen.
“I’m not dumb, a man would never play in my face, G.L.” Is part of your problem. This egotistical idea that no man would play mind games because you’re a trophy leaves your defenses down. Then, just like Ms. 8 Months A Basica, these guys humble the fuck out of you because the reason he rejected you wasn’t that he was out to play you… The reason he rejected you was that he saw the real you, the flaws, the trauma, and the insecurity, and ran.
There are men who want marriage, and they move genuinely. Then there are men who want pussy, and they move wearing a loose mask. Most of you can spot the pussy hunter, but you’re not prepared for the guy who was a good dude, who did want a family, who was respectful… but who still fucks you over because his feelings changed 4-12 months later. The liar is the guy who makes you smarter when it comes to dating, but Mr. Not The One. Is the reason most of you need therapy.
Let’s address male accountability, because men are to blame for a lot of this pychological bullshit.
Too many of my brothers are still stuck in this loop of playing games with women’s emotions in an attempt to control, manipulate, and make them submit. Men aren’t trash, men aren’t evil, men are simply paranoid. “Get her before she gets me” is the name of the game because males are scared to death that a woman only wants to use him for attention or money, and as soon as he falls in love, she’s letting the next man slide into her mind and heart.
I’ve sat in enough barbershops to hear that male advice is always, “don’t trust these bitches. They’ll always disappoint you.” The reaction to this warning is to become emotionally unavailable or to date multiple women, so you never rely on one. Thus, we have generations of men who date or enter relationships with a sneaky or selfish mindset. Male accountability is non-existent because men can always justify why they act the way they act and make themselves into the victim. There’s always something a woman did that drove him to hurt her feelings or make a mistake.
Male Logic: I didn’t waste your time. I was testing how we vibed. You started doing some weirdo shit, so I cooled on you and found someone more on my level.
Male Logic: I wasn’t only with you for sex. I really thought we had something real until you started catching attitudes and pressuring me about titles, so I fell back.
Male Logic: Yeah, I fooled around with that other girl, but we weren’t in a good space at the time. You would be dumb to walk away from what we got going on over me fucking a bitch that doesn’t matter.
See how easy it is to deflect? Nothing a man does is 100% wrong if you look at it from his perspective. The irony is that most women get gaslit into buying into male logic. He’s speaking so passionately and with such confidence, it doesn’t sound like bullshit or game, so you internalize what he’s saying. Your insecurities expand because once again you’re being triggered by the idea that you aren’t good enough to make a man happy. If this happens multiple times, then it changes how you interact with men. Victims of gaslighting always rarely spot the hustle. As a result, boundaries don’t get set, red flags are ignored, you bite your tongue and shrink your personality because you want to be his peace. Ha! This results in being domesticated into a basic, submissive, pick me.
Basic Female Logic: Let me allow this man to move at his own pace, mansplain to me why I’m wrong, and he’s right, and hopefully if I remain submissive and nonproblematic, he’ll see me as wifey material.
Basic women secretly love when toxic men put them in their place, make them out to be crazy, fill their eyes with tears, ignore them for days, then come back to bust that pussy open like nothing ever happened. Basicas see that as a man being “masculine,” but what it highlights is a lack of self-respect and a severe need for male validation. All these ratchets online yelling about “I need a man to apply pressure,” but can’t even get a bouquet, let alone a Birkin. What these low-vibrational women say they want isn’t what they settle for, and this is why men win. The first two weeks of being nice and gassing her head is followed by dogging her out because males know that a woman who thinks she just needs to “act right” and he’ll go back to being Mr. Perfect, isn’t going to go anywhere. Feed these birds hope, and they’ll love you for life, is the motto. For those men who recognize that half the women he meets will act like this have zero incentive to change. He’s going to talk to you reckless, shop around for new women, and come back into your life whenever he feels because he understands that you’re weak. No matter what I teach you, if you can’t understand how to spot these kinds of Dick Tactics, it’s pointless.
“G.L. Ho Tactics isn’t working for me,” because you’re dealing with a man who already sees what you’re doing because you’re Ho Tactics are sloppy and see-through, Basica. “G.L. I can’t Spartan Up with this man,” because you’re dealing with a guy who recognizes that you’re only confident for a few days, and then you’re back to being a typical he can mindfuck. The point being is that certain women can’t run Ho game or Spartan Up because they aren’t emotionally strong enough to stand up against a “masculine” take charge kind of man that charms you, fucks you, and gaslights you into doing what he wants.
Think about the permanent damage done by dating a manipulator. If your ex used to put you in your place and you tell a guy you’re dating how you were in a toxic relationship, but then label the new guy as “not as exciting as my ex” then what does that say about you? What does that tell these men? He’s boring because he doesn’t grip you up, curse at you when you don’t answer the phone, or do any of the aggressive stuff you claimed not to like but secretly makes you wet. Understand that this “I need a man who can check me but respect me” mixed messaging is why so many men hide their true selves. Instead of being real they put on the mask of hard, tough, and abrasive, because that attitude is a proven turn on.
Mr. Nice Guy: I work a good job, am respectful, and know how to date a woman, but I can’t get any attention. Yet all I see online are girls that wouldn’t give me a shot crying about being used by bums. Maybe I need to do what the users are doing. At least they get play.
Contrary to popular belief, the Dickticians I’m describing aren’t the norm. The world isn’t split into Players and Simps. In the middle, there are shades of grey. What I’m seeing these days is that those men who aren’t having success don’t want to learn how to be less awkward or showcase their personalities to get the girl. They want power and revenge. Typical men look up to the players. They thrive to do what rappers rap about and have multiple bad bitches lined up, and none of them stepping out of line. So how do they go from the cornball who doesn’t get a text back to DaBaby? They emulate the men who have mastered the art of mindfucking women.
How To Play With A Woman’s Heart
A friend sent me this video called “How To Get Her To Fall In Love”. To sum it up:
- Make her respect you by showing her you don’t need her.
- Make her experience mixed feelings.
- Always be willing to walk away.
All three are easy to do. For example, Wayne is dating Jen. He pursues her with all kinds of energy, but never does he make it feel like she’s the only woman on his roster. Wayne says little slick shit about other women who want him. Wayne makes comments about the kind of woman that he needs to truly win him over. All of this is done to create jealousy and fear in Jen’s mind. At the same time, Wayne keeps reeling her in with positive treatment. He’s showing her what life as his girl could look like. He keeps talking about a relationship with her as though it’s going to happen. This creates a roller coaster of emotions. Jen is thinking, “He treats me better than the rest, but he’s saying things that are red flags. He tells me how much he wants me but then goes missing with no excuse. He’ll ignore my texts, then pop up and tell me we’re going out. Am I overthinking?”
Jen is getting mindfucked. She loves Wayne’s unpredictable nature but also wants to break Wayne down, so he’s more attentive and consistent. Jen tries to play that “two can play that game” shit on Wayne. What does Wayne do? He doesn’t give a fuck. He doesn’t react in the way Jen wants and proves that he is willing to risk losing her to another man or willing to walk away if she keeps bringing drama or questioning his behavior. In the end, Wayne breaks Jen down into this submissive, weak bitch who will now get in where she fits in because Wayne has succeeded in running the Push & Pull game.
Ladies, please realize that the lack of accountability, the petty arguments, the disappearing acts, and the false promises aren’t normal relationship hurdles. There are men who are pulling your strings and using internet tricks to gain control over your mind.
What Do Men Want When It Comes To Relationships
“G.L., tell men to stop being like this!” Respectfully, what the fuck will that accomplish? Instead of making demands let’s cut to the root of the problem for men: Men who are damaged, still hurting, or who lack discipline will always play games. It’s too easy to pull it off, there are too many tricks that work, and there will always be a woman with a nice body who is easy to game. The game will never end.
BUT! You don’t have to participate. Recognize those kinds of men. As I wrote above, the liars are easy to spot if you take your time.
First month: Keep it spontaneous and flirty. Listen more than you talk. Challenge opinions and philosophy, and always be willing to play Devil’s Advocate in the name of conversation. Always have public dates never indoors. Never have sex, but always initiate touch.
Result: A man who just wants sex will get bored of this and walk away.
Second month: Plan things. Surprise him first. Re-ask the same questiosn to see if the answer changes. Get to know his friends on a personal level. Allow house dates, but don’t fuck.
Result: A man’s true colors will start to bleed through good or bad.
Third month: Take a trip together. Ask for a gift. See if he’s asking deeper questions or planing things that you like. Don’t even touch his dick unless he’s showering you with treatment, gifts, and investing at least 3 days out of the week with you.
Result: You’ll see what man is a provider and what man is full of shit and only cares about a nut. You will also weed out the guys whose personality doesn’t mesh with yours or whose hobbies don’t align.
It’s not that hard if you don’t rush this. All men with a healed heart and healthy mindset want love, but you have to show them that you are afoundation that won’t make them regret commitment.
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