"G.L. I'm not sure if I just have bad luck or if I'm secretly basic as fuck and subconsciously attracting the wrong kind of men. So my last three boyfriends have been amazing for the first 6-12 months then I saw mean streaks. Like these guys really hate women. It's so frustrating to meet someone that checks all the boxes, good family, fine, and excellent careers.
I am a black woman who does tend to date within her race so to find desirable black males with these characteristics had me feeling blessed. G I wished I read your books years ago because I fell into a lot of the traps I just read about in your Spartan book. Guy 1, owned his own hauling company. Spoiled me rotten always called on the road. Not a cheater at all. 7 months later he pushes me into a wall because I made a comment about a cute guy on a TV show. Like are you serious. Most women would probably forgive that because of the money and treatment. Fuck that I cut him off.
Guy 2, I've known him for a long time. Commented on every story I posted but I didn't give him any play because he's a pretty boy and I could tell he was for the street. I finally went on a date with him. Our vibe was crazy, same artistic mind, I was in love and the dick was top 2 and not number 2 as they say lol. Not even a year into the relationship he started talking so much shit about how I wear my hair, the amount of makeup I wear. At the time I had not heard of you or your books as I mentioned so I didn't recognize the pattern. This snowballed into verbal abuse and like a dummy I took it because unlike the physical abuse I thought I deserved it.
He was really into fitness too and would put me down anytime my weight fluctuated. He was mirroring a lot of things I would say about myself. It was hell. That relationship ended when I confided in a guy at work who told me I deserved better and promised to give that to me, this is Guy 3.
Guy 3 was a nearly 13 month relationship. He was different from the rest, such a nerdy nice guy... until he gave me an STD then blamed me for passing it to him, calling me so many whores and even told everyone at work his side of the story to the point where I had to resign. He literally ruined me mentally and even after I quit he would find ways to communicate nasty things to me. I'm much better now and thank you for all that you do but had a question. I'm sorry this is so long but even if you can't read it on your podcast I hope you can give me some insight.
Why are today's men so misogynistic? I know there are good guys out here, my father is a great man, my brother as well. But there seems to be a lot of men who walk around playing this role of prince charming but are woman hating devils. Could you expand on why so many men love the idea of having a woman to sleep with or take care of them but secretly hate us."
Sexism, just like racism, is a taught mindset. A lot of these men have seen their fathers abuse their mothers or didn't have a father so they resented their own mothers for a lack of a dad or for the ain't shit men their moms brought home to play "step dad". If they secretly see their own mother as a weak bitch or stupid, then it's going to trickle down to you. Every day a guy hops on Instagram to comment negative shit about some pretty girls body or makeup or lack of clothes.
Sexism has gotten worse over the past few generations because a males aren't as masculine as they once were and they aren't handling heartbreak well. Now we have a large population of men who either have unresolved childhood issues or as teenagers or adults were cheated on or rejected by women. They don't want to love women, they want to have power over them.
When a guy fucks you and ghosts you is it about you or revenge on a girl you remind him of? When a man raises his hand or calls you out your name is it about what you said or anger created by his parents that he's never addressed? When a man uses money to buy your loyalty while he continues to fuck other women, it's not about the sex it's about the finally having the power he crazed when he was young, broke, and unwanted.
"girls today ain't nothing but hos who always chose the wrong men," cries Bitter Brandon online. But when you date Bitter Brandon you don't even KNOW he secretly thinks this about all women. You're just caught up in the fact that he's nice or cute. PAY ATTENTION!
You have to know how to vet a man early on or they will do years of damage if you don't know what to look for. Sexist men see women as the enemy because a "female" once hurt them. It's a bullshit little boy excuse! Look at all the women who have been hurt as girls but don't go around acting like psychopaths? Men can't handle their hurt, and sadly you all are the ones that may pay for it unless you know how to expose these types early on. Right now you may be talking to a man who looks perfect on paper, who's doing all the right things, but-- how long until the mask comes off.
Ladies, it's crucial to date with a full understanding of how men think. When you're naïve and oblivious and think "oh I'll just date and hope to meet someone nice" it's the same as walking through the streets with an arm full of money-- you're asking to get robbed. I'm about to open your eyes to a lot of things in this article you're going to need.
OVERstand that there are males who lead with their green flags to break down your defenses and keep their red flags in the back pocket. A guy who has money knows he can buy your pussy with the right love bombing because you're easy and crave the shallow security of having a man with money. A guy who looks good knows that he can get your pussy for free because he's hyperaware that you don't meet that many guys who are your type. A guy who is intelligent only needs one conversation to anaylize your insecurity, and then run circles around you mentally. Don't sit and say, "I'm special" when the last few guys you've dealt with have exposed you as basic.
Men know what women want: Attention. Passion. Consistency. To feel like she's special and treated like she's special. That's easy to fake especially when that man brings more to the table than her exes. The problem is men exist on two levels: The Mask and The Real.
You ladies fall so hard for that mask that by the time he reveals The Real you don't run away. "I can fix him" or "We can get through this phase" is how many of you think because once you fall for a guy, all of those bad habits come flooding out. Loyalty isn't a positive trait when the person you're holding onto is using or abusing you, beloved.
My job has always been to help you all navigate dating to get the best roster of men, pick the best from that roster, and enter into a relationship with a man that you've vetted so that it can actually thrive and grow into something beautiful. I can't help you unless you know how to take a man's mask off, sooner than later. Today I'm going to put you up on game and how to understand the contradictions inside the mind of men because you can't do this alone, you can't do this with a chatbot, and you can't keep faking like you understand how men think, let me show you how to win!
If you're ready to level up then the first step you need to do has to..
