Attractive gainfully employed men exist in every city. Guys who will court you like a trophy, spoil you like a queen, and apply pressure like you’re more important than oxygen are within your reach but the problem is you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing. You have ZERO game, shaky self-esteem, and think that high value men are supposed to just drop into your lap because it’s written in the stars? You’re a grown ass woman still filled with delusion and trying to manifest results like a teenager.
You download an app and wait for magic to happen… because some girl on a podcast said that’s how she met her husband.
You hide your best pics in your IG story… because you’re insecure about the like count. Craving attention but fumbling it at the same time.
You live your entire social life reacting instead of creating opportunities. You’re a WAIT TO BE PICKED type of girl, not a WATCH ME SNATCH WHO I WANT type of GODDESS.
Spoiler alert: Your dating life this year is going to be mid as fuck. You’ll meet some guy who seems nice, then he’ll ghost. You’ll finally get attention from some guy who looks the part but is actually broke as hell, and you’ll actually consider “helping him” get on his feet. You’ll hear from someone from your past, and because you’re so desperate for a dick to replace your shower head you’ll give them a chance, waste your entire summer, and end up sad as fuck again come next December because you wasted yet another year of your prime, dating like a weak bitch, not once using anything that I write on this site or in my books in a real way to get different results.
“It’s not my fault, G.L. it’s hard to find men these days,” says the Basica that never goes out enough to meet men organically, doesn’t know how to flirt on the internet, and whose first date vetting skills are so bad that she thinks a washed up college athlete who works at a car dealership is goals. Bitch do BETTER.
Right now there’s a woman I know who went 5 for 5 in terms of baiting upper echelon men to slide into her DMs and ask her out. Not text, not sext, not flirt endless – they took her on a fucking date. Why can’t you manifest those kinds of results? The painful truth is that you don’t have the confidence, the aggression, nor the no fucks given attitude to step out of your shy-girl comfort zone.
I know so many great women who stumble through life, praying they get snatched up by a quality man, but few of them know what a quality man looks like in real life. You don’t need to get your stomach put into your ass to get someone with status to slide into your DMs. You don’t need to be a certain waist size to get successful men to chase after you. There are certain intangibles that high quality men seek in women, and if you weren’t so insecure, you would recognize that you already have what they want!
The only thing stopping you from attracting what you want is a lack of belief in yourself! Show me a man who says he isn’t looking for anything serious and I’ll show you a woman who can make him change his mind. YOU are that kind of woman but you refuse to show it! Today I’m going to give you a crash course in stepping your pussy game up and finding the courage to embrace your power instead of sitting on the bench waiting for “god to bless me.” You are god and it’s time to take control of your world with an entire roadmap on how to attract high-quality men, step by step… let’s start.
Step One: What to look for so you know you’re not wasting time
Last month I received an email from a woman about her current roster. Listen to the men she had on her team because it’s going to make you sick. Guy One: Teacher’s assistant at her niece’s school. Guy Two: Her ex-boyfriend from college who moved back in town. Guy Three: A 37-year-old who owned his own lawn care business, who happens to be married. Her goal wasn’t marriage, but companionship. She was in her late 20s and simply wanted a loving friend who would travel with her, feed her, and fuck her.
So why did she pick a guy who works part time at an elementary school, an ex who was back in town living with his brother while he tried to find a job, and a man who had an entire other life to live? Because each of those men came easy. Two men who asked for her number and one guy who already had her number. That’s not a roster, that’s litter! No one else wants these dudes, and you got a nerve to be acting cockier than a Alabama Barker song.
You don’t have a roster, beloved, you have 3-5 trash dudes in your phone who don’t do anything for you. Bro wouldn’t loan you a bottle of water in the desert, is in no rush to even see you unless it’s after midnight, yet you smile every time he texts you. Who lowered your bar this low, Basica? Before you talk to anyone romantically, the first discussion you need to have with that little ChatGPT inside your head is “Does this man deserve me,” not “He’s cute and we’re vibing…” Stop disrespecting your ancestors by choosing vibes over competence!
When I wrote back that she needed to make sure to hold off on sex– surprise surprise she had already fucked all three men. Well, not the ex, recently but only because he didn’t have transportation to come sample her recycled pussy. Ladies, not all men deserve to hold space in your phone let alone your heart. High value = quality. You don’t fuck brokies, you don’t fuck exes, and you don’t let a married man even taste your pussy unless they’re prepared to Sponsor your life. Those are the rules to roster dating that rarely get followed because you allow anyone to come in and grab your attention when you’re lonely.
You have to stop thinking of yourself as “bored with a dry phone,” and start thinking of yourself as “priceless ready to be earned!” All men do is embarrass you and waste your time, but who picked those men? Who let them in? Who gave them the keys to the kingdom! You did because you’re not discerning enough!
Step Two: How To Spot A Predator
There are gentlemen providers and then their are fucking weirdo predators. What if I told you that you could test every single man with just one question and expose who he was at heart? You probably won’t do this step, because you’re afraid to push men away, but fuck it, let’s get into it. When talking to a man it’s a dance, right? Everything is subtext and coded because neither side wants to seem too pressed. But let’s talk about reverse psychology and mindfucks for a second. Men are built to tell women what they want to hear.
Women typically don’t push back unless it’s to be sassy: I bet you tell all your girls that… you look like you have hoes on your roster… or it’s to be matter of fact: I‘m looking for something serious, not games… I don’t do that unless I’m in a relationship…
In order to dance her dance men mindfuck women by leading with morals, religion, spirituality, humor, and of course gassing their ego as if he’s going to be different than other men because she’s different. It’s wish fulfillment because all women want to feel like they found a diamond in the rough, a guy who is about something… ha! In my book Ho Tactics, I talk about spitting the mindfucks back at a man in a manipulative way. But there is another way to use this tool and it’s this simple concept.
Sex = The Treasure.
How will he react when I put sex on the table verbally? Will he bullshit or will he be honest.
Text, message, or say this to any man you’re talking to in the early stages of a relationship, friendship, or even the feeling out process: What happens after we have sex?
I dare you. I triple dog dare you to get his response because it’s right there, he will show you what he’s after. It will either be the response he thinks you want to hear, polite, sweet, maybe something about faith. Or it will be straight filthy as he thinks this is the green light to be himself and he can stop playing the beat around the bush game. The last variety of response that shows you that he’s not just sex hunting is the honesty of uncertainty. A man who admits his lust, is unsure about how that would change things, and puts sex talk out in the open for a deeper conversation has character. Instead of switching into “come over and find out” thirst or “I’m patient enough to wait until you’re ready,” bullshit shows you after one question his true agenda.
Again, I know you won’t ask this, which is why I’ll take you through these next steps that help you uncover these things at your own safe pace. But for the advanced Spartans out there…. Recognize that the subtext of every relationship is sex, and the quicker you get a man to snitch on how he really feels about you, the easier it is to take off the mask that he’s wearing, the one that you’re wearing, and explore if this is deeper than the physical. Men aren’t spoken to directly about sex, it’s hinted at, so never be afraid to randomly take him off that square with a hypothetical– “after we fuck” question.
Step Three: Your Appeal Beyond Sex
What would make a high value man want you? Is it your looks, is it your conversation, is it your career, is it your education? Take a second and think about what would attract an upper echelon man to you?
Basic Bitch Answer: Because I’m pretty with a pussy that grips like gorilla glue.
Okay, Ms. Velcro Coochie, add up all the men you’ve had sex with. How many of them would be considered high quality? I’m not talking about if he had A1 dick or good looks. I’m talking about what did those men bring to the table in terms of substance that they were able to date you, charm you, and earn what was between your legs? If you’re so pretty and your pussy hits so viciously, then why do you have a history of letting fuck boys sample your goods? Because you don’t see yourself as priceless, you see your self as “just a regular girl” and that’s why regular ass men are allowed to waste your time.
I’ll ask again, what about you, the person, not the physical, would make a top-shelf man go crazy over you and never want to let go?
Typical Bitch Answer: Because I’m loyal and have a good heart.
Yawn! All that means is that you don’t cheat and put up with way more shit than you need to in the name of being “nice.” Fuck that noise. Where has that gotten you? How many men that make over 250k a year have you been in a relationship with? How many guys have unconditionally spoiled you throughout your life? From an emotional standpoint, how many men have genuinely cared about your feelings, been just as loyal as you are, and took an interest in your mental health? Little to none!
Men lie… a lot. When it comes to winning you over, they hide the truth better than a Wuhan laboratory. That watch on his wrist does not mean he has money. That car that he’s driving does not equate to success. The business ventures he’s telling you about over dinner doesn’t mean he’s turning profit after profit. There is so much flash with little substance. The sad thing is that intelligent women get caught up in it, just like the naïve Basicas.
Be honest, you want someone who can take you on high-class dates, fly you off to vacation destinations, and who will buy you things without you having to ask. At the same time, you’re not thirsting for a man’s money because you are independent blah blah fucking blah. Guess, what Miss Independent—those balcony back shots feel even better when you realize you didn’t have to pay for your own Baecation or split the cost with a grown man. I’m not telling you anything new. These things are already in your head; you just pretend not to be shallow with your honorable “I’ll pay half” mantra. It’s all bullshit, you want the spoiled princess treatment just like every other woman.
What happens is no matter how much money you have or how unimpressed you pretend to be, you DO get open off a successful man who can do things for you. Men KNOW that wealth or the impression of wealth makes them more handsome in your eyes, and that’s how they bait you in. The male tactic to hustle you out of pussy revolves around making himself out to be the trophy. A successful, entertaining man that can one day be your husband and give you the life and love you crave. Your job is to be able to separate real value from a bum in designer clothing.
Brian The Post Office Dick: Makes $22 an hour and sells weed on the side. He has a stable job with benefits yet has that hood vibe because he’s doing something illegal that makes him a few extra dollars. He dresses flashy, has an old luxury car or a new mid-level car, and tells anyone who listens how he’s going to invest and level up one day.
A high value woman would never touch Brian. Clearly, he’s immature and trying to live a rapper lifestyle on 50k a year. However, the average woman will get sucked in by Brian’s act. He works somewhere legit that you can tell your friends or family, yet he also has that mysterious energy of danger that makes a lot of you girls drip like a snow cone in August. All the boxes are checked = money, bad boy vibe, ambition, and you fall hard. Beloved, you think you can become a power couple with someone who goes on “missions” to drop off dirt weed and pills? You think all you need to do is love him and give him good ideas and he’ll flip his check into a fortune? You’re not stupid, the thirst to fall in love and help a man live up to his potential has made you delusional.
You say you want a guy that looks like Future but acts like Russell Wilson… why you lying? You crave cockiness and enjoy the excitement of breaking up to make up. Toxic men turn you on, be emotionally mature enough to admit that. You like that he’s an asshole until he’s being an asshole to you. Earth to Basica, you can’t turn a narcissist into a nurturer and you can’t make a husband out of a ho, that man is for the streets, so stop trying to build a home with him.
Black, White, Asian, Latinas, it doesn’t matter the race of the woman. The bad boy types can smell that you’re thirsty for their energy and they prey on you with ease! You can’t find a diamond if you’re still getting fooled by CZs. You have to train your ears, brain, and heart to recognize and avoid low vibrational men from the moment you have a conversation.
- Never get overexcited by what a man has or what he does for a living. Thirsting over his potential will cause you to make mistakes early and often.
- Pay attention to how he’s trying to bait you in terms of bragging about what he has or what he can do for you. Is he baiting you like a ho?
- Ask questions about how he got to where he is in life. Fuck the mysterious stuff, be blunt, and ask where he grew up, where he went to school, what he does for a living, and on the side.
- Take notes on how he talks about other women and how he asks follow-up questions about you. A man who calls his exes out their names will do the same to you the moment you leave the room. A man who doesn’t really care about your life story and wants to get back to flirting has no interest in the person, just the pussy waiting to be unwrapped.
Step Four: Knowing What To Look For
“High value man,” what does that even mean? Having money? Being successful? Being spiritually enlightened? One woman told me that she needs a man worth at least 8 figures with no children. Another woman that same week wrote and told me she’s just looking for a guy with a steady job, has hood swag, but isn’t a scammer. Don’t laugh. See, value isn’t about dollar signs. It’s determined by where you are in life and how a partner can match your energy.
TRAITS OF A LOW VALUE MAN:
Men who keep fucking up then cry their eyes out about how they’ll do better.
Men who treat you special… meanwhile, they’re treating every other woman the same way.
Men who see you struggling mentally and shift the attention back to their needs.
Men who you would give the shirt off your back for, but they wouldn’t even pay your mortgage or car note if you were in a bind.
TRAITS OF A HIGH VALUE MAN:
Men who don’t need to be trained on treating you recognize a quality woman and move accordingly.
Men who aren’t thirsting after every other random chick that throws attention their way.
Men who you don’t have to ask for anything or get paid back, they do for you unconditionally.
Men who are more considered with “how was your day” than “when you coming over”.
What makes a high value man isn’t money or status; it’s character. Some of you clout chase or get suckered in by flashy men, only to find out that they’re serial cheaters, egomaniacs, or manipulative narcissists. Your mouth says you value loyalty and respect, but your actions show that you value money and swagger, which leads to you dating the same types that hurt you in the same ways because you don’t know how to separate true high value men from those low vibrational men who possess material things but lack character.
He Has Money… but he won’t spend it on you.
He’s Your Type Physically… but he’s always lusting after other women.
He’s Successful… but he’s cocky and arrogant.
Finding a man that’s handsome or who has a good job isn’t difficult. Finding one that has substance should be front and center over those basics. I don’t give a fuck if you met a guy who plays for the Knicks. Where is his head in terms of emotional maturity? When you date, you don’t go out, sit there, and hope that this guy likes you enough to take you out. Vetting for character traits is a must. You’re asking about his past relationships, not because you care about his exes. You’re asking to see emotionally was he the type that fought for love or gave up. You’re asking about his family background, not because you want to go and meet his mother. You need to see if this man was raised with structure and discipline.
The little things that you should learn over the first month get passed up in favor of “I can’t wait to see you,” flirting and cup caking because you’re allowing this man to show you the “Trophy Dick” mask that sweeps you off your feet, not his authentic self. In Ho Tactics, I wrote about testing for gifts. In Date Like A Spartan, I wrote about testing on dates to see if a man gives without you having to ask. Use those books to your advantage. Stop just agreeing to dates and blowing in the wind. Strategize before the date. Do your character vetting during the date. Review after the date. After one or two dates at the most, you should be able to see if this man is High Value or just another Low Vibrational time waster.
Step Five: Knowing What Men Thirst After
“High value men want high value women, who are well educated, make their own money, and can make him a better man” sit your silly ass down with that bullshit. Men pick vibes, not resumes! Life isn’t fair. This isn’t a universe of equals connecting with equals. For those of you who are highly educated and highly paid, yet single as hell, it hurts to know that a girl who is unemployed and dropped out of cosmetology school can snatch a millionaire just because he likes her perverted sense of human. Don’t get mad; become wise to the ways of the world, and use it to your benefit. Top-tier men don’t need your degrees; he’s not starting a business with you. Top-tier men don’t need your 401k; they have their own nest egg. You do those things for yourself, not to bait men… I would hope. So, when it comes to getting men to thirst after you, forget about the materialistic things you have, and focus on what makes him lust after you physically and become obsessed with you mentally.
Instagram is a toxic influence on many of you because you think those girls with all the likes are goals, that they have it easy because ballers are beating down their doors. As someone who advises many of these influencers, that is far from true. They go to the struggle the same as you. Becoming a fetish isn’t going to make a man treat you any better than he’s already treating you.
“G.L. if I had bigger boobs, I know I’d be winning,” says the Basica, who thinks dating athletes is the promised land. Men are fickle. Get new boobs, and he’ll want one with a bigger ass. Get a bigger ass, and he’ll want one with a different complexion. What are you going to do? Get surgery, bleach your skin, always wear wigs, all so some guy can chase you, fuck you, and then toss you back to the street? Stop chasing influencer beauty standards and start highlighting what you already have. Once you stop comparing and criticizing your looks, you’ll realize just how pretty you are!
“But what can I do besides surgery, waist trainers, or amazon leggings to get a man to notice me?” Men do notice you, trust me, we are looking. Nevertheless, at the end of the day what makes a man look isn’t always going to make him approach you or message you. You have to show a man that you’re worth the risk when it comes to how you present yourself. Approachability is all about having the perfect combination of attainable lust. We as men see you and think “she’s pretty… but she looks like she’s stuck up… she looks like she has a lot of hos… she looks like she has an attitude” You need to get rid of the “but”. Your crush (and yes, you do have a crush currently stalking your page) wants to say something to you, but his fragile male ego doesn’t want to get curved. Men with money are especially sensitive to rejection, so you need to show him that he has a shot, while still making him chase. So let’s break down how to bait these kind of men into your inbox or get them to walk up to you when you’re outside.
It all starts with looks. Visually men sexualize what you wear, how you style your hair, the way you smile, etc. What does this mean? You don’t have to poke your ass out for him to think you’re sexy. You don’t have to wear short shorts or have your cleavage peeking out. All you have to do is present yourself looking nice, not necessarily sexy, and a man will lust after that package. You know what you look good in, you have eyes, you know your body shape, and you know what colors make your skin stand out. If you take a picture in a short club dress, of course, guys are going to drop hearts on it. But that’s not where your brand lives 24-7. To hook a man, you have to understand how he thinks in terms of lust, and most times less is more.
Those of you who primarily meet men online can’t live on “going out” pictures alone because a guy is going to scan through your IG or FB and wonder what the normal version is. The “Everyday” version of you should present the image of beautiful woman who doesn’t need effort to be beautiful. You know you put effort in, but he doesn’t need to know that. Your plain-Jane pictures need to hit hard, that’s what so many of these men are searching for when they can your pictures, not the tight shit, not the beat face, guys want the perception of the girl next door vibe. That’s where you spark the lust. Good lighting, light makeup, accentuating your positives in low-key but flattering clothing will get you the most attention.
Understand that men who can get women or have money and aren’t just thot hunting for pussy, need to see that you are down to earth. In a man’s mind, a girl that’s always made up and rocking tight clothes online is a Ho. Men are paranoid, they’re jealous, they don’t trust women AT ALL. Of course, your clothes don’t mean you’re out here fucking everything that moves, but that’s what I mean when I say men are simple. Understand that top-shelf men may follow a bunch of Thotiana’s online, but they’ll talk to a cute girl with nice lip gloss, rocking sweatpants, and a crop top faster.
Intimidation is real, and it’s not about “I can’t handle her.” It’s about “I don’t want to compete with all the random dudes that’s DMing her.” Guys are territorial and want to discover that hidden gem, not chase after a woman he thinks is for the streets. So, no matter if you’re online posting pics, walking around Target, or figuring out what pics to put on Bumble, understand what men actually want visually and serve those looks.
Step Six: Knowing What Men Fall In Love With
Lust Vs. Genuine Interest is a slippery slope. Every man has dated a girl for weeks, even months, and then one day they wake up like, “Nah, she’s not it.” The fact that a man can be so passionate about you and then not even want to return your text is anxiety-inducing. While there is no magic pill to glue a man to you for life (No, Pickmeisha, not even your pussy), there are certain triggers that will bond a man to you beyond the lust level. Here are a few to get you started.
- Humor. Men never truly mature beyond their early 20s. The same perverted jokes, the same corny references, the same want to never fully take anything seriously remains. When interacting, you can’t pretend to get someone’s joke or match their sophomore humor. Faking a connection never works. Instead, bring out your inner teenager. Let go of this awkward professional woman shit that many of you get stuck into, and be free to joke in your own manner. The worst thing you can do is sit there and giggle but don’t return fire. The same way you joke around with your friends, you need to joke around with him. Let go of this fear that he won’t find you sexy if you’re acting goofy. Goofy works more than awkward or stuck up! A couple that can laugh together grows together, and if you can create an environment where he doesn’t have to be serious, and he can hit you with inside jokes that only the two of you get, then you win out over damn near any other woman he’s going to come across.
- Teasing. Never make it easy for a man. Guys like to chase. See, this is where a lot of you fuck up. When I say to approach a man or message him first, some of you wag your finger about doing too much. Yet, when you date a guy, you don’t make him work for shit, which leads to him growing bored and falling back on you. The actual chasing comes in the form of teasing him in terms of when he can see you and, of course, sexually. Men want everything fast, but they appreciate that which requires work. It’s a catch-22 that you have to fully understand if you’re ever going to master the art of seducing a high value man. It’s okay to take a day off from talking to a guy. It’s mandatory to leave him hanging in the middle of trying to talk nasty to you. It’s fun to tease him on a date by saying you won’t even kiss him at the end of the night just to see him squirm. Guys don’t remember the chicks they bust down after an Applebee’s date, but they go crazy over the women who say, “You’re not ready yet,” as she wraps his arms around her waist with a slight peck. Psychology is a must, as men love to hunt.
- Understanding. Men hold things inside; they battle demons and avoid inner trauma, only allowing what’s bothering them to slip out from time to time. Understanding that men operate as if they are an island is crucial to connecting during the dating stage and mandatory for making any relationship work. Some of you may be in relationships now and are confused about why your man is hot and cold or acts nonchalant only to explode with emotions. He’s not bipolar; he’s just unable to let you in. Not every man is emotionally mature enough to communicate what they feel. Instead, they get in their feelings or just shut down.
The solution is to stay a step ahead. Men want to know that you care about them. The Basic bitch mistake is thinking that taking care of a man or babying him shows that you care. No. Making him meals, calling to see how his day was, and all the typical things women do are normal. You’re not special because you treat a man like he’s your son. 90% of women are maternal in that way. To truly make an imprint, you have to be able to listen when he wants to talk, ask where his feelings are coming from, and then file that away.
For example, if a man gets upset that you didn’t text him back for several hours and gives you attitude, your response is to give him attitude back or kiss his ass and apologize. A strategic woman doesn’t do that shit. She asks what his fear was when he didn’t get a response if his exes or other women ignored him or played games. Then from that answer, you tell him that you’re not like that and then show him with actions by getting ahead of the problem. “Tomorrow’s going to be crazy, so if I don’t get a chance to talk to you, understand that’s the reason.” It’s not about explaining yourself to a man. It’s about showing him that you understand his fears and are willing to cut them off before they fester.
This step tells the man that you give a fuck, way more than sucking his dick and buying him some cologne he doesn’t watch. All men are after a woman who genuinely cares and doesn’t run away or give attitude when he gets in his moods. If you can master this step, then he’ll never want to let go.
Step Seven: Think Different
“I do what these bitches don’t, that’s why the running back to me” – Flo Milli
Your options are only as limited as you believe they are. If you think there are only a handful of men in your city that look and earn on the level you’re after, then you’re already setting yourself up to settle. Every day someone new moves into town, every day someone amazing becomes single again, every day someone that checks your boxes can have a chance encounter with you and change your life. However, when you live in this mental bubble of “All the good ones are already married,” of course, you’re going to struggle. Your world is created by your thoughts. That’s not make-believe. That’s reality. Look at the ups and downs of your life and understand that the moment you let go of this bitter attitude and embrace your power to create opportunities, those men that are aligned with what you want will begin to appear.
High Value isn’t dollar signs. High Value isn’t looks. High Value is a man that ties himself to you with respect, admiration, and love. What kind of man do you need to make you happy? Not want, we’re talking needs. That’s who will manifest based on your deepest desire. If you’re confused about that, then your results will continue to be inconsistent. Quiet your mind. Know that what you need is out there. Take action…
“G.L. I hear what you’re saying, but—” Stop thinking like a loser! There is no room for “if, ands, or buts” or excuses that point to how you failed in the past. You’ve never had a quality man try to date you, or maybe you had someone special, and he disappointed you, so your philosophy is to just not try and let what is meant to happen play out. That’s a loser mindset. You create your reality. All these pieces on the board that come in and out of your life are determined by you. Wisdom and Confidence is the key to success in any aspect of life. Your past can’t define your future. Spartan Confidence demands that you KNOW that you can get any man you want. Spartan Wisdom is knowing the steps I just listed above and using them in real life. “G.L. said to connect with humor and teasing, but I’m too shy for that.” Then you will continue to lose! Reading this and then not doing it on a date is like watching a cooking show and deciding to throw a bunch of ingredients in the bowl and hoping it comes out good. Follow the steps and judge the results for yourself because I’ve already seen it succeed.
BONUS STEP: Solving Single 10 Year Anniversary Edition
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