"...I know this sounds bad, G.L. but don't judge me. I've known this man since I was 22 and I know for a fact that God put him on this earth for me. He cheated, I cheated back and we moved beyond that. He broke up with me, but came running back because he knew there was no other woman for him. Yes we have been very toxic for each other over these past eleven years, but I can't see myself marrying another man. You say to choose yourself and be a Spartan, but I say you have to choose love above all else. Can you please help me win my soulmate back because I already know there isn't anyone else for me..."

That sad shit above was a question sent into my podcast, but I felt it was a good opportunity to revisit this topic of soulmates, soul ties, and this idea that in a world filled with millions of eligible men, there are women who believe that ONE MAN and ONE MAN only, is for her... Basic Bitches believe in love with ain't shit men like 5 year olds believe in the tooth fairy, and it's time to stop.

I bet you believe in destiny, fate, someone with a matching personality and astrological sign who will come in and be the missing half that completes you. I'm not shitting on romance... I'm shitting on delusion. Manipulators will use your "this is fate" superstition to exploit you! "My soulmate is a black man so I'm not dating any other race," is what a woman told me years ago, and because of this stubborn ideology she ended up choosing the wrong black man who abused her. One of my good friends was in a severely toxic lesbian relationship for nearly five years but wouldn't leave because she swore that woman was her soulmate.

The point is, the moment you declare that someone is connected to you on a spiritual level, you paint yourself into this corner where you have to make it work regardless of the pain it's causing you. Spoiler Alert: LOVE ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HURT

Do you know who believes in "Soulmates" the most? Nice, sweet, loyal, ride or die women. The self-centered "Bad girls" don't by into that shit, they use these clowns. The seductive Hos don't buy into that shit, they dig into the pockets of the same men you fall hard over. It's the "nice girls" that are filled with delusion. These men chase bad girls and spend money on hos who don't even like them, then turn around and play games with YOUR heart because you're naïve. You believe that because a man has been in your life for years, he belongs in your life forever! EARTH TO BASICA, it doesn't work like that.

A man hanging around in your life, crawling back when he fucks up, or telling you how special you are after he's made you cry, does not equal love, it equals manipulation. Men use Placeholders as safety nets. He hangs around in your life because he knows you think your connection is magical. Bitch this ain't Hogwarts, that man isn't magical and your up and down relationship isn't destiny, it's pathetic. You've wasted all these years going back and forth because your common sense has been destroyed by this foolish concept of "we belong to each other."  No matter what he does you'll take him back, you'll have a baby by him, you'll believe in his potential... and year after year he fails you.

Pay close attention to what I'm about to write because this article can save you from wasting years of your life....

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