You fucked up. You met a guy and were too nice, too compromising, too understanding, and didn’t set boundaries. Now he’s in the position of power, no longer chasing you like the trophy you are. When women get soft, men get comfortable and either take advantage or take her for granted.

The power dynamic in a relationship should never be one where the woman is confused and trying to make a man “act right.” If you’re stressing over a man you aren’t dating like a Spartan, you’re dating like a Basica, and need to hit reset ASAP!

I write a lot about the dating stage, pre-dates, first dates, sex dates, etc… my books are meant to take you step by step through most problems. Date Like A Spartan shows you the proper way to date. Ho Tactics shows you how to get your value. Solving Single talks about the relationship stage power…

However, there are some of you who didn’t read my books or read them but didn’t use them in real life, and now you’re STUCK in relationships where you didn’t set your value, or are currently in the dating stage with someone who is outsmarting you. Stop the fucking madness. When you allow these men to bully, brag, and bitch check you into thinking that they are the table and you should be happy to have a seat, you lose.

Power isn’t about being masculine; it’s about intelligence. A wise woman understands that men are controlled by lust and are obedient to sex. Look at history, at all these powerful men who were taken down or bankrupted because they couldn’t keep their dick in their pants. Men chase money to attain things that make them more attractive to women. Intelligent women know these things; they use this intel to mentally whip men before they even give up any pussy. These Basicas chase dick because they think it’s rare, in reality, these dudes are as common as a sale at Sephora.

You think he’s special? Why? Because he’s halfway cute and gives you attention? What’s so damaged inside of you that you don’t want more for yourself? Today I’m going to show you how to hit reset, and show these men that you aren’t the basic bitch who rolled over and allowed him to do what he wanted. It’s a new day, and he’s going to learn to respect you, worship you, and bend the fucking knee.

What’s Your Worth?

Psychologically speaking, why do men chase and apply pressure when they’re first getting to know you? “They want to fuck,” is the simple answer, but that’s not the complete answer. Why does a man want to fuck you? Because of how you look—no, because of what you represent.

Being a “snack” isn’t enough. When a man first meets you, he rates your beauty, experiences your personality, then listens to your story. Think of this like money.

Your beauty earns you 100-350k

Your personality earns you 100-550k

Your life story earns you 100-250k

A drop-dead gorgeous woman (350k) who is very fuckable but has a dry personality (100k) and nothing going on in her life (100k) is going to land at a value of 550k.

A cute girl (250k) with an amazing personality(550k) and who has great things going in her life(250k) is going to hit a value of 1 million.

What do you think your value is out in this world? And Be Honest!

“G.L., my personality is bomb, and I still can’t find a man,” is a repeated line in nearly all the emails I get. Then I find out that while her personality is lit around her friends when it comes to men, these women aren’t charismatic, funny, or engaging. They’re goofy, awkward, and anxious because that so-called “bomb personality” disappears when a man comes into the picture. Your value should be 1 million, but it usually hovers around 400k because you don’t date confidently.

Some of you used to be the cutest girls in high school, but that doesn’t do anything for you now because men experience pretty all the time. Sexy is common. Big asses and perky tits only go so far after his dick goes soft. Those surface-level “must-have” women end up being vapid, crazy, or boring, which is why some of the prettiest women are still on the market. Their value is average, especially in a world where beauty can be bought and enhanced. Your face, your ass, your boobs, no matter if you’re all natural or enhanced, men today know that they can find someone just as pretty online. So what’s going to get a man to truly chase and give you the world is they all think “Ruby Rose types can be found on every corner of the DMV“

The late, not-so-great Kevin Samuels used to constantly rate women as 6’s in below, which triggered a lot of women because that’s a woman’s worst fear, to come off as average looking. What look ranking doesn’t take into account is that if a man enjoys your personality, you become sexier over time. Flat butt, bad skin, and big teeth are married, while Coke Bottle Betty is still on TikTok trying to dance her way into getting a baller to message her. Why? Because it’s all about connection, men value a woman who can laugh with him, teach him new things, and has things going on in her life other than gossip and partying.

The irony is that when a man first gets to know you, he’s grading you on a curve. His lust to fuck you is inflating your value a bit. Once he finally gets the pussy, he can reexamine your value in terms of what he’s looking for in a woman. With his dick now soft, how do you look, is your personality still intoxicating? Does he continue to want to listen to your life story and future plans?

Most of you have seen how quickly a man falls back and stops getting to know you after sex. This is because he doesn’t see your value as the same as it was during the dating stage. You can’t make a man value you. It’s not your job to showcase yourself to men to be respected. However, to protect your heart and emotions from being toyed with, you have to set boundaries and ensure that a man who wants to continue to date you, fuck you or have an exclusive relationship knows your worth.

Part 1: Resetting The Foundation

How do you go from weak to powerful overnight? Simple, you recognize your basic traits and move differently.

The People Pleaser: This is the woman who never wants conflict and wants to get along with her male friend. She’s so afraid to lose out on him that she’s always compromising. This kind of basic bitch often gets mind fucked and gaslit into thinking any relationship issue is her fault. Because she has a thirst to be liked and seen as a good woman, she jumps at the chance to make things right, even when it wasn’t her fault in the first place. This kind of woman has no power and is the easiest to manipulate. Men usually keep at least one of these women on their rosters. Bum ass broke men use the people pleaser as an ego stroke main chick who supports and finances them or as a safety net baby mamma. Players use the People Pleaser as the type of woman he can always drop and pick back up when the other women he wants get sick of his bullshit.

The Ring Chaser: This is the woman who is getting older and feels desperate. She believes that a woman without a man can’t be happy, so she centers her life around the pursuit of male love and validation. The Ring Chaser is the ultimate Pick Me as she studies men on a superficial level, trying to understand what she should do or say to become “the wifey type.” This type of woman is notorious for being a long-term girlfriend who never rocks the boat. She will put up with anything a man does to her, cheat, give her an STD, verbally or physically abuse her, and she forgives because without belonging to a man, her life has no meaning.

The Defensive Dummy: This is the woman who claims she doesn’t want to be married and that men are all shit, yet falls fast and hard every single year. The Defensive Dummy has been hurt. She has her guard up and claims to be a savage who no “thinks like a man.” In reality, she’s just in her feelings. She’s still soft, romantic, and believes in Soulmates. When a bitter person doesn’t heal or come to grips with their past trauma, they remain in a state of arrested development. Her mouth says, “Fuck these boys. I don’t need them,” but her actions say, “Please love me and don’t leave me like the last one.” These women catch attitudes fast and don’t mind breaking up but are quick to come back and submit after makeup sex or a few gifts. She runs away but is easy to catch and manipulate all over again. Why do men like the Defensive Bitch? Because it’s a game which males always win, “Watch me get this dumb bitch back on my dick” never gets old, and these women are experts at pretending to be savage She-Hulks when they’re really Jen Walters soft.

What weak bitch trait do you have inside of you that makes you less valuable to men? It could be one of those three, a combination or one of those I mentioned in She Ain’t It (Listen to the list here). No matter what your weak bitch trait is, your job is to recognize what you’re projecting, understand that men are already hip to it, and then destroy that trait so he can no longer exploit it.

Part 2: Introducing The New You

 Change is complicated and simple. It’s simple because all it takes is to do the exact opposite of what you are used to doing. It’s complicated because people are creatures of habit. I want you to follow this motto when reinventing yourself: Make Myself Uncomfortable By Going Against My Nature.

Put that in the note section of your phone, write it in your daily planner, stick it on your mirror. I don’t care how you memorize it, but it must become a part of you from this day forward if you’re ever to take power of your dating life or relationship.

Make Myself Uncomfortable By Going Against My Nature

Example: Your boyfriend or “friend” doesn’t take you out to do the things you want to do anymore because he’s grown lazy. Let’s say your basic bitch reaction is to either get passive and catch an attitude that leads to you both arguing, or you’re holding it in and then exploding on him out of the blue. You don’t get your way by yelling at a man. Even if he gives in once, his heart isn’t into it, so he won’t learn how to treat you, just how to shut you up. What kind of relationship is that where you have to constantly fuss to get a crumb?

Go back to the motto of change. Instead of giving in to your passive-aggressive reaction, go the opposite direction. What’s the opposite of passive and angry? Active and calm. Actively telling your partner what you want to do calmly when they’re used to you not coming at them like that will confuse them. They can’t normally react because you didn’t go at them in a way they rehearsed. Being calm as a woman is simply dropping the hostility, amping up the seduction, and asking for what you want, like a sweetheart, not a woman on fire with an ultimatum.

Men don’t want to be told what to do. They want to feel like they’re the ones dictating the pace. To go him with a specific want, but ask like you’re his sweet little girl, not this mean bitch will take you from being seen as a nag to being seen as submissive. Faking like you’re submissive to get a man to ultimately do what you want is a power technique that most of you don’t know how to do because you’re too prideful to ask as you’re afraid to seem weak or be told “no.” Fuck that pride, fuck your little girl ego, and repeat it: Make Myself Uncomfortable By Going Against My Nature.

Name a scenario where you want your man to improve, dating you better, buying you things, spending less time with his friends and more time with you, and apply what I just wrote. It works across the board because you’re showing him a different side.

Reinventing yourself doesn’t just happen when you want or need something. You should constantly be in the habit of building and testing the “new you.”  

Let’s say your friend is growing distant from you or not calling as often. Your value is sinking, so you have to show this man that you’re new pussy just like you were when he first started dating you. Women can get lazy too. Some of you meet a man and stop doing your hair, stop dressing up, and become so casual that he stops seeing you as a sex symbol and just sees you as a piece of furniture.

You’re not even married, and you go over to his place just to hang out, watch T.V., fuck, and lounge in your dirty-ass sweatpants. Of course, he’s on Insta looking at new bitches because you’re no longer sparking his lust. His dick sees you as a convenient release, but the rest of him sees you as tired and played. Physical updates and personality enhancers will make any man see old as new again.

Your hair, wardrobe, and signature colors are the easiest things to change. Think about it like this, when you were fully single and looking, you made sure that when you went somewhere, you were at your best because you never knew who was looking. Do you still bring that to the table in your relationship? Probably not. Your friend has most likely seen you in every outfit you own, without makeup most of the time, and your hair is probably covered up during sex. You’re living like an old married couple; sometimes, it’s only a few months into a relationship.

Men want excitement. Men crave the chase. Men loved to be teased. Men have a dying thirst for NEW PUSSY, so how can you create this excitement if he’s already fucked you in every way possible? Show him other sides to your personality and other flavors of your rainbow! Other women aren’t prettier than you, they’re just NEWER. Be new again…

Change your hair, throw some color in it, invest in a quality wig, and watch how it affects his libido. If you usually wear blacks and blues, switch to whites and yellows. You don’t have to dose your face in makeup but switch to a complimenting lip gloss or maybe utilize eyeshadows even when it’s a stay-in movie night. I repeat, he’s looking at these women with full-on glam makeup online, all their imperfections covered and then going to see you who’s devolved into Plain Jane status. Up your game!

A woman once complained to me that her boyfriend doesn’t take her out, so she doesn’t get to dress up as she once did. It doesn’t have to be a date night to show him what you’re working with! Don’t wait until you break up to start dressing sexy, hoping it’ll get him to come back. That’s half-ass and backward. Utilize those three small things I just mentioned before it gets to that point of breaking up.

Personality-wise, you have to once again push away from the bad habits. If he’s not calling you as often or he would rather be with his friends or playing a video game than talk to you, it’s because he finds you boring, annoying, or both. From that first date until now, you somehow lost his interest in the topics you both talk about.

Do you know why a woman falling off in terms of personality is so common? Because the honeymoon stage is all flirting with little substance. Look at the kinds of texting you and your friend did during the first month. It’s sexual innuendo and teasing. He wasn’t getting to know you. He was softening you up to take that dick! You talk a big game like you’re so confident, yet get open off of male attention because your self esteem is trash!

“Oh, he likes me. He’s always texting me,” No, Basica, he keeps the conversation 90% sexual, never asks you anything deeper than how your day was and is always plotting on when to see you because your only value is a nut. He doesn’t like you; he lusts you, and the quicker you can tell the difference, the better off you’ll be!

Your friend needs to be reminded that you’re more than someone who was conquered and now needs to be discarded. You may think you’re well-rounded, but ask yourself, “What the hell do I actually talk about with him?” Bring up new things to discuss, ask questions about his life and see what dominates his thoughts. Tell stories or shine some light into your past, so you’re not just keeping your relationship on a surface level. If you see that he isn’t trying to share more, or he doesn’t want to listen to what you’ve gone through, then that’s a clear sign that it was only ever lust, and that he never found your personality captivating in the first place. Either way, it’s important to attack conversations from a different angle with men you’ve known for a while, as most people date but don’t actually talk.

Part 3: Turning The Tables

The ultimate power dynamic is to retool away from the relationship and come back into the picture. Hitting reset in the ways I wrote about before can be difficult because let’s be honest. Many of you won’t dress differently, won’t ask for things differently, and won’t reframe your personality to show this man that you’re still full of surprises. Yes, you can pretend to hit reset for a few days, but by next week you will slip into old habits and be back with the same problem. If you feel you’re the type of woman who will relapse, you need to fall back.

The art of the fallback is the most powerful weapon in a woman’s arsenal because it hits a man from two angles. First, you hurt his ego by cutting him out of his life. Next, you ignite his need to chase by dangling the new you back in his face. Finally, you put fear in his heart by reminding him with actions, not words, that you don’t need him, but he needs you.

Does the man you currently want or have need you in his life in a real way? Answer that right now. If you’re in a relationship and you’re paying most of the bills, or he needs you for your car or the roof you put over his head, then yeah, he needs you, but you’re also a silly bitch because why are you supporting a grown-ass man. The answer for women who aren’t being used should be, “He needs me because I provide love and emotional support that he can’t find in another woman.” That’s the ultimate goal, to show any man that you are a fucking unicorn that he must hold onto.

The reality is that the guy you are with or are trying to date on a deeper level doesn’t need you. Men are cocky. They walk around knowing that if one woman walks out of their life, there will be two more to replace her, which is why they can dictate the rules and remind you that you’re the one that’s going to be sad. You’re back on the dating apps or pretending to be happy single while you secretly check his social media, hoping he hasn’t replaced you too fast. The point is that men think women grow on trees and are very replaceable. Therefore, you have to show him that you are the exception to that rule by falling all the way back.

Step 1: Walk away from the situation. This is the hardest step because you may not be willing to risk the dick. In the business world of negotiations, some companies walk away from the table, leaving the money that was offered because the terms aren’t up to snuff. If you’re thirsty, you would never leave money on the table, but if you’re aware of your value, you would because it’s a tactic. Ladies, you must know your worth and be willing to walk away from that man. “It’s so hard,” yeah, because he has the power over YOU! Fuck that. Tell him it’s not working, and you need time to yourself. If he begs or keeps calling, block him.

Step 2: Revamp yourself. The things I wrote about above should be done at a deeper level. Your style, your conversation, and the way you react to situations should change! What is working on yourself? It’s taking inventory and becoming a better version of yourself. You actually need to do this before you go back to any man. Read new books, find new hobbies, and take on a new style that matches your new alter ego.

Step 3: Dangle Your Carrot. Once you’re secure with who you now are, put yourself back on that man’s radar. Start following him on social, and message him something slick. Go somewhere you know he will be and pretend to bump into him. Hell, even text him asking about someone you both know just to get back to communicating. The idea is to allow him to lay fresh eyes on you after you push him away. Men are competitive. He’s going to want to conquer you again, show you that you fucked up. Good, because he doesn’t know that you’re now in control.

Step 4: Let him Chase and Catch. There’s no need to play hard to get. Women who say shit like “prove to me you changed” are idiotic, as a man will do the bare minimum to get her back in check. You want to showcase that you talk differently and think differently and that only happens by allowing him to date you again. Let him sample your personality, not your pussy.

Step 5: Set The New Rules. A fresh start begins with NEW BOUNDARIES. You have to be a Spartan who stands on business and isn’t afraid to have a talk where you break down everything you want, and then test him to make sure he understands that you’re no longer the “old weak basic bitch” he used to deal with.

If you’re ready to upgrade your mindset and become a Spartan who can pull off these steps, and also read word by word dating scripts, and get one on one advice from me. Take the five-week course on dating.

In a month from now, you’ll be a totally new woman… enroll below