"I'm not ready for anything serious" means no... being distant means no... cooling off on communication means no... but why is it hard to accept the concept that a person just doesn't like you anymore... or never really liked you as much as they pretended to. Yes, there are men who aren't in the right headspace to date, but I PROMISE you, no man is making excuses for a Game Changer, only Placeholders. On today's podcast, I'm going to break down how to avoid this and turn an emotionally unavailable man into your groupie. But before you listen to this episode, let me just lay out some facts about us men.
Ladies, understand one thing about men: when we want a woman, we pursue her with full force. We're not trying to text; we're trying to see you. We're not trying to wait a week to see you again; we want to know what you're doing tonight. Even after we've had sex, there is no "I'm busy," there is no "Something came up," and there is absolutely no "I forgot to call." The energy increases, never decreases with an interested man.
The guys you deal with love-bomb you, then pull away. Give you all the attention in the world, then gaslight you about why that attention has dried up. Instead of accepting that 1+1=2, you make excuses based on their own excuses. He's really stressed with work... His uncle died... He lost his phone... You know he's lying, but your ego doesn't want to admit the truth, so you slip into the role of an understanding woman.
"G.L., should I buy him a book on meditation? He's been so stressed that we haven't been able to see each other for the past few weeks." Ma'am! He's not stressed, he's over you, and is currently looking for the next new pussy because you're not what he actually wants now that he's gotten to know you. The only mental health issue at play is DELUSION! You're stuck on a man whose rejection makes you try harder to gain his love. Are you slow or just basic?
Ladies, stop this dumb ass "let me fix you" mindset and recognize one thing. Any man that suddenly gets too busy, too occupied, or reaches for a mental health excuse is politely telling you, "I don't fuck with you like that anymore."
Your Lie: He has childhood trauma, girls have done him dirty in the past, his family never showed him how to love, he has ADHD or other undiagnosed disorders. He doesn't know how to be happy...
His Truth: I don't have the capacity to continue having conversations with you about various bullshit, nor does it benefit me to go out in public with you, listen to your boring life stories, or pretend that this is going to last and that I see a future with you outside of the bedroom.
Why don't men just say it plainly so you can stop chasing behind them? Because the majority of guys aren't in the business of hurting a woman's feelings, nor do they want to leave things on a bad note, because in six months, he may be bored and want to put his dick in you again.
We as men would rather have a roster of women we don't like who we can fuck in a drought, than a dry phone. Don't be flattered by a guy sparing your feelings with a sob story about "it's hard for me to trust... blah blah blah." Don't feel that his lies or excuses are a cover for "not wanting to open up" or pushing you away because you're a good woman who can help with his trauma. It's not that deep!
These men aren't dark, tragic love interests from a trashy romance novel; they're manipulators. This isn't Bridgerton or some make-believe love story where you have to overcome the odds. Real love isn't a struggle. Men who really want you will never make you jump through hoops or play hard to get!
Lie to you. Fuck you. Toy with your emotions. Fuck you. Fall back on you. Come back and fuck you. Is that man you're stuck on special, or are you just a hopeless romantic who has tied your value and self-worth to male validation?
Male lies only work if you're delusional enough to believe them. The high of someone liking you, even loving you, is so strong that even when faced with the clues that his feelings were fake, you don't want to believe it. You opened yourself up, were vulnerable, saw this person as a potential soul mate, and it hurts like hell to be rejected without fully undrestanding why you weren't good enough.
Anxiety Whispers: What's wrong with me? What did I do? I'm so dumb. I'm so ugly. I'm too clingy. I'm too boring. I have attitude problems. I have trust issues. Am I acting too much like his ex-girlfriend? Maybe I should apologize. Maybe I should read a book about what men want. I'm going to die alone. How do I fix this? How do I make him want me again? What's wrong with me?
Spartans don't spiral into mental chaos. My books. My philosophy. Everything I instill in women is about how to be so fucking strong, so charismatic, and position yourself mentally so that it's a man who's crashing out over you, a man who's having anxiety over you, and a man's asking, "How can I get her to want me?"
On today's show we're going to dive deep on the male mind and how to overcome some of the biggest relationship problems. Plus I answer reader questions about the messiest situations of the past month.
Don't miss out on this episode...
