Year in and year out, I see the same exact fallout when men and women date as if it’s the finish line, not the starting line. You meet someone that checks a few boxes on your list, begin to see them weekly, the butterflies give way to smiles, and for the first time in months you’re happy so you put your feet up like—that’s bae y’all! They fall back on your happy ass, often without reason, and you feel that you just wasted all that time on someone who misled you. Go boo-hoo to your friends that you’re the victim of yet another immature asshole, go swear off love and fake pretend to be working on yourself, doesn't matter what your initial reaction is, next year is going to be more of the same as you fall into the same exact trap. Every email I read or conversation I have where this happens has one common denominator—It was never official, but you took yourself off the market and were doing the most as if someone agreed to a genuine commitment.
Dating is not an official relationship
Talking is not an official relationship
You are SINGLE, no one has exclusive rights until YOU make it official
Until then, stop feeling guilty for dating more than one person at a time
By “official” I mean that you two have agreed to be in a monogamous romantic relationship. Back in the 50’s it was called Going Steady, which evolved into We go together. Titles, like promise rings, don’t mean shit legally. You’re single until you’re married, but in terms of action, most stop being single the moment they agree to that title of girlfriend or boyfriend. Are those titles outdated? Maybe, but it’s the ONLY verbal confirmation you have that denotes loyalty. For instance, a lot of women have never had a man (who they really wanted) ask to be their boyfriend, so they assume that dating consistently is the same thing as being exclusive… until that man reminds her that he’s single and not ready for all of that. Place yourself in the shoes of a woman that’s living on an assumption, then has the rug pu...