Below is an email I received for the podcast but was a little too lengthy, so I’ll share it here.
“Hey, so not to get too specific but I did some psycho shit to my boyfriend and it’s been two weeks and I know he’s about to end things. Basically he’s been spending a lot of time at his friend’s apartment, I’m not one of these women who cries about a man hanging out with his friends, but since most things in the city are still locked down he has been going over after work he says to play the game and unwind. We do spend about four days out of the week together, but a man always scheduling “unwind nights” with another man seems suspect. I found out through his friend’s story that another female was over there and there was drinks in the background. Then it all made sense.
So boom I ask him who else was hanging out with him and he said nobody at first. I already knew the truth, GL! This man lied like it was nothing! I followed him over to his friend’s place two weeks ago. I call him while I’m out front. He doesn’t answer then calls me back like 30 seconds later. It’s quiet. I make up a lie that I didn’t want something just to ask a question about leaving my watch at his place. I go up into the apartment and put my ear to the door. Music, laughing, all that shit. Why was it quiet when I called now it’s a party?
I knock on the door. Quiet again. His friend comes to the door and he’s shocked. I ask for ***** and he comes to the door looking up to no good, stupid grin on his face. I don’t say a word, I push him so hard, GL, like I made him stumble and keep in mind I’m a petite woman. I brush by him and into the apartment and there’s that same girl on the couch. I curse all of them out. *****’s friend is explaining that it’s his foster sister who has been staying there and the foster sister is then laughing at me like I’m crazy saying that she’s engaged and doesn’t want my boyfriend. I didn’t like the way she was laughing and looking at me so I rushed her. My boyfriend grabbed me and basically dragged me into the hallway. I kind of blacked out, but I must have scratched his cheek because he had some blood on it. ***** curses me out and get this, he leaves me in the hallway and goes back inside with them.
Now to the present. He’s calling me jealous, a stalker, emotionally unstable and saying that basically this last 10 months with me has been ruined by that night. I need some help in salvaging something out of this G.L. I know what went wrong. I have been cheated on in my last two relationships. I do trust my boyfriend, but I know that no matter how pretty I am, if they want to fuck something new they are going to do that. I can’t take being hurt again so I just needed to find out and it is about to cost me.
What would you want me to do to make it up if you were in my boyfriend’s shoes? For Christmas I was going to buy him the new xbox, these designer sneakers, and then get us this suite for NYE, I don’t care about going in my bag for him but I’m thinking I do that stuff now like this week and not wait, it may help prove that I’m down for him. Writing this has made me feel so basic, and I’m sure you are disappointed that someone who reads your stuff as long as I’ve read it would have a basic breakdown lol but this is my best relationship ever and I’m going crazy thinking of things to buy him or things to do for him to prove that I just had a bad night but I know you will have a better way around it. I look forward to hearing you and your co-host giving me some ways out of this. Thank you.”
Your mind can be your own worst enemy. This fear that someone is playing you, this paranoia that you’re not good enough, all those negative thoughts that whisper and whisper until you snap and do something out of character. Do you know when intuition stops and mental illness begins? Anxiety can break your internal compass, allow the demons aka negative brain waves, to hijack your common sense, and devolve you into just another insecure Basica! Love isn’t supposed to be flipping out, fighting, and getting dragged out of apartments. Acting crazy, getting put in your place, and then getting fucked silly until you promise to behave is young lust not mature love. Men these days realize that finding a girlfriend is easy, that new pussy is abundant, and that they don’t have to keep dealing with a woman who won’t get out of her own way just because she used to be great.
This email was sent into the show and I ended up answering it privately because clearly, she was leaving out some major points in terms of those past relationships and some unaddressed issues. However, there are a lot of you that struggle to control your emotions when you’re in a relationship, and while I’m not ashamed of anyone who stumbles during the relationship stage, I am disappointed when people WAIT until it’s too late to reach out for help. Emotional intelligence is recognizing that you’re about to spiral and having the self-control to ask for insight before you let your own overreactive imagination ruin things.
To help you all out, here is: How To Repair A Relationship In 30 Days or Less… click below to download it.
Coming up next: Savage Season – How To Unlock Your Ho Side
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