I know a woman from Miami that has a boyfriend in LA, a trick in Colorado, and some guy in Cinci who pays her rent. None of this could happen without the internet. Dating apps are great for using in your spare time to meet men adjacent to you, but social media is amazing when it comes to leading women to men globally who will literally prove what I've been saying for years: There is always a man waiting to spoil you in all the ways you deserve.

Each one of you reading this has come across a person in another city or even country who has caught your eye. But long distance relationships are messy. So the conundrum becomes, what to do with that attention? Explore it or dismiss it because you and he will never work. Let's dive into this.

What's the appeal of Long Distance?

The internet is a great place to meet new people if you live in a city that's dry, boring, or travel in the same small circles. Let's be 100, a lot of you have fucked around and gotten reputations in your city, you've made toxic friendships with girls who gossip about you, or you've dealt with fuck boys who hit and can't wait to tell the next guy about how he hit. In short, when you don't want the drama of your city or you crave someone who thinks different, has a different way of looking at life, or even has a different accent then you, it's time to give someone out of state a chance-- I said chance-- not ass. We're not fucking on first flyouts Basica.

Types of LDR

The Let’s Hold On LDR: You have a boyfriend/girlfriend who you love, but they have to go away for school, work, military, or whatever. Instead of breaking up and letting go, you decide to hold on. This usually fails when one or both people stop getting attention, or someone doesn’t want to uproot their life to make a permanent move so they can be together.

The I Don’t Know You But Let’s Make It Work LDR: You meet someone randomly and it seems like they are heaven sent. They are perfect for you… until you find out they are from out of town or about to move out of town. Instead of letting go and chalking it up to Right Person Wrong Time, you try to make it work anyway. This usually fails because neither person really knew each other deep enough to maintain an out of state relationship that soon after meeting.

The I Met Them On The Internet LDR: This is the most common form of Long Distance Relationship today. You don’t get pulled by the people you find attractive in your city. However, the internet it’s a buffet of new dick! Men don't take the best pictures online, but you meet them for the first time, and they're cuter in person, and you're OPEN. This is what you've been waiting to see: a man from a city you wouldn't mind moving to who is saying all the right things.... is this fate or fool's gold?

Out of State Ass: Not What You Think

When someone you love moves away, there is usually a strong foundation of trust and understanding. You knew them and spent time with them locally before the separation. You’ve seen their good side and bad side face to face, so you can deal with their mood swings over the phone. The hard part is NOT KNOWING what they're doing 24-7. One woman wrote me five emails in one day. Yes five. Each one crazier than the next because she was so afraid that her boyfriend, who had moved to Texas from Seattle, was cheating on her because he had not called her in two days. Men get bored, and when their is no legal marriage commitment, he knows in the FRONT of his mind, if I see someone else there is nothing wrong with pursuing that because she's not around. And that's what happened with Texas boy. He got tired of the phone calls and wanted a woman he could touch and talk to face to face, and most ment espicially younger ones break during LDRs the moment you move away.

A man is only as faithful as his options. 80% aren't desirable, they look funny, they don't have much money, they aren't that deep, and if you're dealing with someone born after 1995, they're most likely socially awkward and weird. That's a fact. So, LDR's that start off in one city and then one person moves can work because the man that you're in love with doesn't have the means to get these other women. he doesn't have options like you think to land a woman better than you. Ladies, if your man isn't a Green Bay Packer, chances are girl's aren't throwing pussy at him just because. So, being faithful isn't a problem in this situation; loneliness is. Holding on to someone after they move or after you move, is usually a mistake unless you can have a talk about longterm plans. Communication! I'm riding this out not because I don't want to start over, but because I see you as the person I'm going to marry. If you BOTH can't say that before the move, then it'll never work. LDR's aren't "just dating" it's too emotionally draining, you have to be all in and ready to marry that person.

Your city's played, predictable, and exhausting. But what about the men you meet on vacation? The guy in Miami who you bumped into at the beach? The guy in Vegas who let you sit at his table and drink bottles? The guy in New York who has that accent you like and who keeps liking all of your IG stories? Should you keep talking to these men knowing that it's going to be a hard road paved with loneliness and/or jealousy, or do you keep dating locally?

It's not about what you do; it's about how you date. I don't care if they live in your apartment building or across the border. You have to date from a position of strength. As a woman, you have to recognize that there's a power built into a man not being able to see you all the time-- but dying to see you all the time. You don't spend your own money to fly out just like you wouldn't spend your own Uber money to meet a man on a date locally. You don't get imported into a new city just to eat and fuck, you're coming to be courted and spoiled. Put some tariff's on your pussy! In order to have you, they need to earn you on the first trip, work even harder between trips, and maybe by the third or fourth trip, he might hit the latto. Pussy is power, flex it, don't hope your ass on Spirit Flight 6969 with hearts in your eyes because of a vibe. You're a goddess not a fucking 12th grader, act like it!

Men aren't that smart, but they're smart enough to know that women don't do any of the shit I just wrote above. "Come see me," = "I'm going to fuck." No hotel room, you're at my house. No just sleeping next to each other we're fucking. That's why long distance dating via IG DM's is a gold mine for all levels of men from athletes to the guy working security at Target to get so much pussy and all they have to do is message you, get you to come out, and it's a wrap.

What is an out-of-town man's appeal to you? They're not from where you're from, so they have a "new car smell" vibe to them. Think about socializing these days. Folks today aren’t going outside to meet new people; they’re staying inside and forming crushes on people they meet on an app. Part of the crush is that they're "exotic" but not in a "Damn, he's from Brazil way" they're exotic because they have a different new city swagger. Guys in a city like Atlanta tend to be culturally indistinguishable. They drink the same water, talk the same talk, play the same games, and tell the same lies. A girl who grew up around that bullshit is jaded; she wants to hear a new song, not a remix. She meets a guy at Buffalo Wild Wings … he turns out to be from San Francisco… mental orgasm! Dude automatically gets brownie points because he’s not local. The irony is that the girls in San Francisco would tell you, “These niggas ain’t shit either, watch yourself.”

The grass is ONLY greener because it’s a different city, not because these men are actually any different—Exotic Dick to you is Trash Dick to her. It’s all perspective. H&M in Vancouver has the same shit as H&M in Los Angeles, but LA girls still get excited when they go to Vancouver because it feels different. These men aren’t different, they just feel different, and because of that feeling, you don’t put them to the test as you would someone you were dating locally. You blindly enjoy that newness, drop your guard, and find out the hard way what the women from his city already knew—he still uses Dick Tactics and plays games, you just don't see it yet. Out of state men and women are placebos, they aren’t actually any better than the people in your own backyard are, but because you want to believe they are, they become that.

Fly Out Rules

When should a man fly out to see you? Should you fly out to see him? Who should pay for the plane ticket? Slow down. The first step is to screen him on the phone. Make sure he’s not some weirdo, that he’s not just talking sex, and that it’s more than jokes and chitchat. Never fly out to see a guy you barely know, he should have earned your interest and “he’s not a serial killer” trust, with solid conversation. Don’t get caught up on the actual period in terms of exactly a month from the time you first exchanged numbers. This could be a guy you met online a year ago, and just recently started to take seriously or a guy you met on vacation who you’re now starting to give attention to after a few months of curving him. The point being, you need to fly out within a 30-40 days of when you two start to develop serious feelings.

The longer you go without seeing him, the more you like him based on that synthetic bond I described earlier. Test him on the phone, but the true test won’t come until you’re in person. All this talk you’ve been doing leading up to the trip, is it really about him digging your personality or is it him laying the groundwork for sex when you touch down? Don’t let your ego and his, “It’s not about sex” bullshit pull the wool over your eyes. You don’t know his agenda until you visit and spend time with him over a series of days.

One girl asked me, “What man would put in all that work just to get sex, couldn’t he go get sex around the corner?” Ladies, there is no limit to what most guys will do for new pussy or even some quality repeat pussy. Players and pussy hunters don’t do shit but chase tail. He works. Watches TV. Scouts for chicks he can have sex with. Coochie is Life. It’s nothing to spend half the day texting you or half the night selling you dreams on the phone, because he’s not spending money or any real time away from things he would rather do. You want to think that it’s your beauty, your conversation, and your personality, but most likely, he just wants to feel your vagina just to say he felt your vagina.

The average man has to work for sex, it’s not handed out like club fliers. These men don’t get as much sex as you believe. “Oh he’s tall and chocolate, he’s swimming in pussy,” yeah old pussy. The Average Man Doesn’t Really Have Hos, He Recycles! You think he’s handsome, but he’s been smashing his ex-girl for the last year because he can’t get new pussy or doesn’t want to put in money and time to earn quality new pussy—that’s what makes him line you up with phone & text game. A $340 plane ticket where a man is promised pussy that weekend > Taking Jasmine to dinner, having to talk her into coming over his crib, needing to front like he wants to be with her, only to be rejected. Out of Town Ass is less of a headache for men!

I don’t want you ladies inflating your ego, flying across the country, having sex, and then be surprised when he gets busy the week after you get back home. Fly outs shouldn’t be about sex, it should be about compatibility, which is why you need to fly down their within (say it together) THE FIRST 6 WEEKS, and more importantly be stingy with your kitty kat once you are face to face. The real concern isn’t transportation, it’s how should you act during that first visit.

What do you plan to do when you get there? Men aren’t flying you out to give you a tour of their city, they plan to feed and fuck you. A man will introduce you to the crew, maybe Moms, but the goal is to get you alone in their crib and get what they’ve been masturbating about. Some of you are like, “shit, I want sex too! I get moist every time I hear his voice.” However, do you want sex with him or sex with who you think he is? I repeat, you don’t know this dude yet, you only know his representative.

Your job is to be a step ahead of him and not get tossed up just because you feel a connection based on that phone boning you’ve been doing for the past month. I don’t care how many times you sexted him about what you’d do to his dick, pussy shouldn’t be sold for plane tickets, that’s basic bitch behavior. He’s telling you he loves you and that you’re so different, next thing you know; you’re sucking his dick two hours after landing. Think about how premature those actions are! When you fly out for the first time and have sex, that’s the same as Cover Over & Chill, you just traveled further dumb ass.

City Rules: Go to his city; don’t ask him to come to yours. In his city, you get to see his everyday lifestyle AKA if he has a secret girlfriend, secret children, secret gay lover, a real job, etc… Some men may take you to the Red Lobster across town because he doesn’t want someone seeing him with you at the mall. Some men may keep you locked up in their crib because they don’t want snitches spotting you. Go to his town, explore it with him, and watch his moves like a fucking hawk to see if he’s nervous or trying to hide something. How many times do I have to say this: Men don’t lie well, women just ignore clues because they want to believe he’s not a piece of shit.

My friend dated a guy who played basketball overseas. He kept telling her how they were going to do this and do that when she arrived. She wasn’t naïve; they talked everyday 4-6 hours at a time when he didn’t have a game. In her mind, “He likes me for me, and he’s trying to make this work.” He never allowed her to come to his country, but he did go to NYC and bust that open. Comes to find out he had a girlfriend living with him, all those plans were bullshit, and she was never going to be allowed to come to his city. This bastard put in all those international minutes just for sex, finding hours to talk on the phone despite having a basketball career and a girlfriend. Don’t let your ego blind you! Men will make all kinds of fake plans to bring you out, because they know that’s what you want to hear, but how do you know what he’s hiding if you don’t actually force him to follow through? Go to his city, it’s that simple!

Money Rules: Is he supposed to fly you out or should you show him that you’re not some bum bitch and pay for your own ticket? You don’t spend your money to go see a man you don't know. You get him to buy your plane ticket. If he can’t afford to fly you out or only offers half the money, then why are you wasting your time? You put in a month of conversation; you mean to tell me you would still entertain a man who doesn’t even think your box is worth premium class airfare?

Don’t disrespect yourself by paying for your own airfare. Next, make him get your hotel room for the time you’re in his city or get your own room. That’s right, you're staying in a hotel room never his house. This is the first visit; you don’t know this man to be staying the night with him; that’s second visit privileges.

I’m actually being nice by saying it’s sort of okay to pay for your own hotel, because I know most of the guys you ladies date may not have that kind of money, but in a my world he should pay for all of this, ticket, hotel, meals, activities, and even then he’s not getting any pussy—you are the fucking prize! This is one of the things where Ho Tactics and Date Like A Spartan intersect; visiting a man gives him too much power, so you take it back by keeping your legs closed! Here’s where your inner Basic Bitch will say, “He won’t like that I’m staying at a hotel.” Fuck him! It’s called leverage! You have what he wants. Therefore, he agrees to the rules, or he doesn’t get to see you. Only weak women undersell themselves by saying, “I’ll pay half the ticket, and I’ll sleep in your bed for the next three days because we have good Skype chemistry” fuck that. He wants to see you! He has to either make it work or he won’t see you—it’s not that hard of a negotiation.

Sex Rules: The point of flying down to see him is to uncover his true character via dates. The same Date Like A Spartan rules apply from this point forward. Why do you have sex? Because he's cute and you're horny? Because you like him? How old are you? In Sparta we only fuck for two reasons: Because a man...