Ladies, understand one thing about men: when we want a woman, we pursue her with full force. We’re not trying to text; we’re trying to see you. We’re not trying to wait a week to see you again; we want to know what you’re doing tonight.

Even after we’ve had sex, there is no “I’m busy,” there is no “Something came up,” and there is absolutely no “I forgot to call.” The energy increases, never decreases with an interested man.

The guys you deal with love-bomb you, then pull away. Give you all the attention in the world, then gaslight you about why that attention has dried up. Instead of accepting that 1+1=2, you make excuses based on their own excuses. He’s really stressed with work… His uncle died… He lost his phone… You know he’s lying, but your ego doesn’t want to admit the truth, so you slip into the role of an understanding woman.

“G.L., should I buy him a book on meditation? He’s been so stressed that we haven’t been able to see each other for the past few weeks.” Ma’am! He’s not stressed, he’s over you, and is currently looking for the next new pussy because you’re not what he actually wants now that he’s gotten to know you. The only mental health issue at play is DELUSION!

You’re stuck on a man whose rejection makes you try harder to gain his love. Are you slow or just basic?

Ladies, stop this dumb ass “let me fix you” mindset and recognize one thing. Any man that suddenly gets too busy, too occupied, or reaches for a mental health excuse is politely telling you, “I don’t fuck with you like that anymore.“

Your Lie: He has childhood trauma, girls have done him dirty in the past, his family never showed him how to love, he has ADHD or other undiagnosed disorders. He doesn’t know how to be happy…

His Truth: I don’t have the capacity to continue having conversations with you about various bullshit, nor does it benefit me to go out in public with you, listen to your boring life stories, or pretend that this is going to last and that I see a future with you outside of the bedroom.

Why don’t men just say it plainly so you can stop chasing behind them?

Because the majority of guys aren’t in the business of hurting a woman’s feelings, nor do they want to leave things on a bad note, because in six months, he may be bored and want to put his dick in you again.

We as men would rather have a roster of women we don’t like who we can fuck in a drought, than a dry phone. Don’t be flattered by a guy sparing your feelings with a sob story about “it’s hard for me to trust… blah blah blah.” Don’t feel that his lies or excuses are a cover for “not wanting to open up” or pushing you away because you’re a good woman who can help with his trauma. It’s not that deep!

These men aren’t dark, tragic love interests from a trashy romance novel; they’re manipulators. This isn’t Bridgerton or some make-believe love story where you have to overcome the odds. Real love isn’t a struggle. Men who really want you will never make you jump through hoops or play hard to get!

Lie to you. Fuck you. Toy with your emotions. Fuck you. Fall back on you. Come back and fuck you. Is that man you’re stuck on special, or are you just a hopeless romantic who has tied your value and self-worth to male validation?

Male lies only work if you’re delusional enough to believe them. The high of someone liking you, even loving you, is so strong that even when faced with the clues that his feelings were fake, you don’t want to believe it. You opened yourself up, were vulnerable, saw this person as a potential soul mate, and it hurts like hell to be rejected without fully undrestanding why you weren’t good enough.

Anxiety Whispers: What’s wrong with me? What did I do? I’m so dumb. I’m so ugly. I’m too clingy. I’m too boring. I have attitude problems. I have trust issues. Am I acting too much like his ex-girlfriend? Maybe I should apologize. Maybe I should read a book about what men want. I’m going to die alone. How do I fix this? How do I make him want me again? What’s wrong with me?

Spartans don’t spiral into mental chaos. My books. My philosophy. Everything I instill in women is about how to be so fucking strong, so charismatic, and position yourself mentally to be a MUST HAVE.

The Signs You Need To Look For & How To Turn The Tables

How can you tell if he’s into you? The contents of your conversation will reveal all if you’re willing to take your head out of the clouds, stop smiling, and actually pay attention.  There’s a difference between a man who asks how your day was and means it, and one who is just trying to get brownie points. If he really cares he will ask deeper questions: Is your co-worker still tripping? Whatever happened with your aunt? Don’t you have a paper due in the morning. No matter if you’re 20 in college or 40 in the prime of your carrer, Men who are interested make it known by picking up on the small details of your life.

A man who is interested will be invested. A man who isn’t just wants to keep it light or sexual. If you’re a grown woman and your “friend” only wants to talk about sending nudes, when you’re coming over, or always has his friends in the background, then he’s not invested in your life, he’s invested in his life.

Messages mean nothing…

Social media interst is droping hearts, flirting, and then trying to get to see you even if you live in another state. But most of you deal with guys on social and even on dating apps who don’t take it from the inbox to the phone to a proper date! If that man really liked you he would have been taken that conversation offline. This isn’t a chat buddy relationship, men who are invested want to SEE you.

Emotionally he’s going through stuff, he has a busy work life, sick family, so he just checks in with you… meanwhile you’re falling in love because you like his attention and you like this LOW PRESSURE text-only relationship. It feels real but it isn’t scary.

That’s a basic mindset and let me should you how it fucks you. Because he’s giving you excuses that it’s him not you, the reality that he may have someone else doesn’t settle in. The possibility that he’s doing the same thing with three other girls, doesn’t hit you. Instead you make this man out to be special. He’s interested in you, he’s consistently messaging or textings, but he just doesn’t date you. No no no *Nikki from Obsession voice…

This clown likes the ego stroke of you on his dick, he likes getting your attention knowing that he doesn’t have to spend money to take you out, or invest time in real conversations verbally. Please believe that any grown man, even if he’s half-ugly, is having sex with someone if he isn’t having sex with you. Stop falling for these “we talk” relationships where he’s not showing real passion and aggression to take you out and show you he’s trying to win you. Never be the woman who gives her energy to someone who can’t even clear one day out of the week to show up and show out!

One Date Minimum

This brings me to the actual dating stage. If a guy likes you, he will try to have sex with you early. That’s not disrespectful, a man who doesn’t test the hoe waters, is a fool. The thing about being genuinely interested is that we don’t care about that initial rejection, real niggas respect a lady for being a worthy advisory then continue to pursue. Guys who aren’t really interested may still try to hit, but it’s a half-ass attempt because she’s not worthy of his Kobe in the Playoffs type game. You got him to go on a date with you, congratulations, but that doesn’t mean shit. I wager that the date you got him to take you on was on the same level as your high school boyfriend, and about as romantic as “can I put the tip in?”

A man who thinks you’re not on his level, ugly, or easy will take you on a budget date, pop for the ass, then punish you for not giving it up. “When are we going out again, that was fun?” Never, bitch! You were acting like you were too good to fuck, cost me $43.57, and you stepped on my J’s twice! Of course, the uninterested man won’t verbalize that, he’ll just suck it up and say, “Hopefully next week, I’m supposed to help Moms out, so I’ll see”. Sign this coon up for Othello because he has you convinced he’s actually busy. One real date is usually all you will get from an uninterested man. He doesn’t want you or your box unless it’s being served on a silver platter. So unless you’re offering to pay, coming over the crib to chill, or trying to double date with your bff he secretly wants to fuck, he’s not going to go out in public with you again.

“Why didn’t he ask me out again” because he is lazy, isn’t looking for anything serious, therefore you’re not worth that kind of consistent date energy. It’s not about you, it’s just how some men are. They hunt the women who want to come over and chill, they’re not looking for Queens who have standards.

No Urgency

If I like you, I will want to see you often. The ultimate sign of interest is passion. Standing outside to get sneakers, that’s passion. Sitting in a rainy stadium to watch your team, that’s passion. Rearranging your schedule, canceling plans, or traveling as far as you have to in order to see the woman you’re crazy about, that’s passion. No man makes excuses not to see a woman he likes, but he will create a laundry list to avoid the women he doesn’t like.

Open your fucking eyes, if he was down for you, he would be around you. Where’s that man you’re refusing to talk to other guys for? Where’s that man you’ve been bragging about online? Where’s the man that you’re thinking about right now? He’s where he wants to be, and clearly that isn’t with you. Talk is cheap and these men are making you girls cum with Walmart whispers. He didn’t say he didn’t like you, so that means he likes you… huh? Those braids under that weave must be tight as hell for you to act that dense. You’re too smart to be assuming, waiting, and hoping.

I know what victims are going to scream, “G.L., tell these men to grow some balls”. 21^st century men are too lazy to change their own tires, you think they’re going to change their mindset, especially when they’re winning? Men aren’t going to read this and suddenly start keeping it real, the Get The Hint switch either ends in females giving up the ass in order to get his attention back or with her actually getting the hint. That’s a win either way. Even if he thinks the chick is wack, he won’t burn that bridge because six months from now he may need attention, sex, or a payday loan from that same wack chick.

Even if you’ve deleted his number, he knows that you’ll still pick up, because you still like him. Would you still like him and pick up the phone if he told you the truth that you were annoying? …Exactly. Get The Hint, is fake, but it works. Men won’t change, so that means you have to evolve in order to see past this theatrical bullshit. Conversation, Recognition, and Pursuit, if he’s not giving you that, then he’s just not that into you.

There is no such thing as “Emotionally Unavaible,” every man is capable of loving a woman but it’s often on his terms. If he feeds you that bullshit, no matter how much you like him, no matter how good the sex is, no matter if he promises to do better– walk away!