What is a situationship, and how do you turn it into a real relationship? A situationship is a romantic connection without clear commitment, where you act like a couple but leave out the labels, consistency, or long-term direction. Many women find themselves stuck in situationships wondering why a guy won’t commit, what the signs mean, and how to upgrade the connection into something serious.

It’s not your looks. It’s not because you were tricked. AND despite what a man tells you, it’s not because “he’s not ready for something serious.” Situationships are mostly born out of a mutual decision to go with the flow… maybe you don’t want anything deep after your last breakup or maybe you only wanted sex and companionship. Regardless of the “how” 90% of the women who I’ve talked to who ended up in a situationship regretted them.

“We’re building… let’s see where it goes… I have a lot of things on my plate…” Is an excuse, and if you’ve ever been so silly over dick that you accepted those excuses and STILL had sex, then you need to finish this entire article!

Casual sex isn’t “adult and edgy,” it’s demeaning. Being traumatized and calling it “savage” or “dating like a man” isn’t cool; it’s proof that you need healing.

You are too special, too amazing, and too smart to AirBnB your pussy in the name of “we’re just friends, it’s nothing serious.” I’ve been doing this long enough to know that NO SELF-RESPECTING WOMAN wants to be in a situationship. They choose this path because they want to safely have companionship without the fear of being hurt again. Trust me… that person you’re giving your prized possession to will always have the power to hurt you, and it’s only a matter of time before they embarrass and humiliate you, label or not.

Women fought to gain so many rights in the 20th century, only to see 21st-century women turn right around and give up one of their most important rights: The ability to demand an exclusive relationship.

If a man tells you he doesn’t want anything serious or acts as if he doesn’t want anything serious, then you follow his lead and fit into the box he wants to put you in. He doesn’t want a traditional relationship; you do, but you can’t look thirsty, so you pretend to be cool with being unofficial while still giving this man all the official benefits. Huh??? Who raised you to be that idiotic?

I always hear Basicas say, “I didn’t want anything serious either at first, but my feelings changed, now I do want a relationship with him.”

OMG, you mean to tell me three months of spending every day talking to a person, texting, and fucking resulted in deep romantic feelings!? No, that’s impossible, how can that be when you said that wasn’t what you wanted??? Because Science, dumb ass!

Of course you were going to catch feelings despite what your mouth was saying, the problem is that we as men don’t feel the same way about you no matter how many times we tell you we love your or how often we pipe you down. He told you that you were special or different from other girls–HA! If he meant that he would make you his girl, he hasn’t for a reason! He’s still dating around, don’t think he’s not!

A situationship is the best way for a man to get girlfriend benefits from a girl he isn’t sure about. Being exclusive to a man who is still shopping around for a BETTER WOMAN makes you a Placeholder, not a Game Changer, and you need to value yourself enough to understand that you are NOT an exception to the rule who will one day change his mind!

Click Here For Previous Article: “Are You Wifey or Pussy”

What Is A Situationship?

A situationship is a relationship without a label where two people are more than platonic friends, but haven’t committed to being anything official for various reasons.

What’s the difference between a situationship and just taking it slow with someone you want to eventually commit to? Treatment. Choice. Time Elapsed.

A man who Treats you like a girlfriend, fucks you like a girlfriend, but doesn’t want to give you the title or commit to anything serious has no excuse for not committing. He’s using the lack of a label as a loophole so he can exit whenever he wants.

A Situationship is like someone saying they don’t have a job because they don’t want to pay the IRS… but they wake up at 8am, got to the mall, pull an 8 hour shift, and collect a check at the end of the week. The IRS would call him out like, “You just put 40hours in, you’re employed, pay up!” Weak women don’t call men out on this contradiction, they will let a dude call a duck a horse, and just nod their head because they don’t want to lose the relationship they’re in even if it’s a sham.

Who made the Choice that your relationship is To be determined? Most likely it was the man. He moved in silence, courted you as if he wanted something more, fucked you, and after the 2^nd time he put his hand in the cookie jar, you asked, “So what are we?” Like most men who wanted to lease and not buy, he replied, “We’ll figure that out later, let’s not ruin this” and you accepted that.

A man who makes the Choice for you that you should be in a “wait and see” exclusive but unofficial relationship isn’t a “fuck boy,” he’s a BOSS because he just told you what it’s going to be and you took those orders like a worker. If it’s your Choice to be “friends” and not make things serious, then you’re in control… but only if you MEAN it. Most of the women before when they come out and say they want love.

Finally we have Time Elapsed. I’m going to say this for the last time, and I don’t care what basic bitch rational you use to try and deny this because I don’t believe, I know this is true—If you’ve dated, talked to, or have been fucking a man for more than 7 weeks and he hasn’t tried to snatch you up—you’re not taking it slow, you’re in a situationship. You’re a Placeholder, a Hobby, a Temporary Pussy while he scouts for a Permanent Wifey. The greatest lie the devil ever told was, “I don’t know what I want.” All men know what they want!

They may not be able to write it down or express it verbally, but all men speak with actions. If all I am willing to do is chill and fuck you, I don’t want you. If I chill, fuck you, and handcuff myself to you as my woman, I want you. How hard is that to comprehend? Most women get the first two and act as if they’re winning and become content. Why be loyal to the potential of a man becoming something more in the future when you can Spartan Up and get a man that wants more right now? There’s a difference between being a Teairra Mari and being a Beyoncé Carter, it’s called self-respect.

What does a man mean when he says, “I’m not ready for a relationship” or “I’m not looking for anything serious” It means he left off the words, “With You!”

He doesn’t want to slow down or be handcuffed because you aren’t who he pictured being handcuffed to. The fact that he is telling you that he doesn’t want anything serious OR accepting the fact that you told him you weren’t ready for anything serious, means that he doesn’t think you’re special. I get it, he says all the right things, he looks out for you, he pays for dates, and his mother loves you, but none of that matters if he’s not willing to go all in emotionally and claim you.

If you looked and acted the way that he wanted, that dude would move a fucking mountain to lock you down. If you talked in a way that inspired him, he would ignore your demand of “I don’t want a boyfriend” and say, “I don’t care. You are mine, and I’m going to do everything to change your mind.”

I don’t care if you talk every day… that’s not your man.

I don’t care if you went on a vacation… that’s not your man.

You are an option for him, NOT a priority. No matter how you try to justify being in a situationship, the reality is that you’re renting a dick and keeping a seat warm for another woman who will get everything from the same man, while you end up with nothing to show for this relationship.

We as men know what special looks like, and we will quickly commit to a woman because rare doesn’t come around often. Kings go to war for Queens; they don’t wait around for some other man to snatch her up. You don’t have a King that will die for you; you have a guy you talk to. Difference. You’re not yet a Queen that demands respect, you’re a bitch that accepts Come Over & Chill dates. Difference. When a man wants a woman, there is no hesitation, no excuses, no wrong time, no long distance, and no financial limitations that will keep him from scooping up something he sees as special.

Men do not leave quality women out in the streets where other men can date them and snatch them up. Therefore, if a man is fixing his mouth to tell you he’s Not Sure or playing his position while your scared ass pretends that you don’t want love, then he doesn’t fuck with you. Facts!

Rules of a Situationship

You Can’t Demand Shit: You can ask, you can suggest, you can get passive aggressive and drop hints, but he knows that he isn’t your man and can’t be held up to relationship standards. You will be constantly frustrated, but in the end you will have to swallow your emotions because you allowed yourself to be suckered into this exploitive powerless type of relationship.

You Aren’t Going To Be Upgraded: Bae, let’s take it slow. Bae, you know I’m focused on this money. Bae, give me a month. The word of the day is “Naive”. You will wait… wait some more… and then read some basic ass internet fact about how all of these celebrities waited too. Lies help you sleep, but eventually you have to wake up, and when you do you’ll be back to waiting for a man that doesn’t want you.

You Will Share Dick: You aren’t going to sleep with anyone else during this fake relationship, and that’s noble, but you’re still going to have multiple partners because the man you’re waiting for is still sampling other vaginas. You are default pussy, not trophy pussy, so when you get those calls at 3am, it’s only because the bad bitches clowned him and sent him back to you. You’re not good enough to make him curve his appetite for thot box, and never will be.

He Will Still Lie: You thought this would make you two friends who openly share everything. Ha! Men know that women are jealous, so unless you’re bisexual and helping him bed other women, he’s going to tell you what you want to hear as opposed to the truth because he knows that you still really want to be with him. Knowing that he’s actively hunting someone else will hurt you, so lies are mandatory.

The Word “Love” Will Lose All Meaning: You will hear, “I love you.” More than you’ve heard in your real relationship. What man doesn’t love cheap pussy? Real love comes equipped with actions that prove it, the fact that he can’t even make it official tells you all you need to know about his kind of love.

The Situationship Trap

The Basic Bitch Situationship: Here you are, Miss Typical, who thinks she’s Miss Unique because an ex-boyfriend once called you the best he ever had, and your Grandmother said she had a dream that you became some important person, blah blah blah. Your potential is on a 100 but your actual life is on 30. You are full of fake confidence, and your results don’t match the shit you talk.

Take Miss Typical out to a bar and she doesn’t flirt, eye fuck, or give any man a reason to talk to her. So how does she meet men? She either hops on a dating app or waits for some random to DM her on social media. “But, G.L. what’s wrong with that?” It’s not the method it’s the mindset. Women who wait to get chose, date one man at a time. When you date one man at a time, it gives a vibe that SMART MEN sniff out.

This is how males win the game. Lonely women who don’t get that much attention will agree to any kind of date because they live by the motto “It’s whatever.” Are you trying to see me tomorrow after work—it’s whatever. Are you trying to go back to my place and hang a little longer—it’s whatever. Can I just put the tip in—it’s whatever. Common sense tells you that nobody is “whatever” every human being either wants something or doesn’t want something. The reason this Basica is talking about “whatever” is because she doesn’t know how to make men like her, so she just goes with the flow in a very nonchalant but submissive way.

Weak Woman Logic: If I say, “No, you can’t come see me, but you can take me out this weekend when I’m free to see a movie,” that man will stop calling me. When you don’t feel as if you’re “enough,” you allow men to date you at their own pace; that’s how you think you’ll get him to fall in love. In reality, it does the opposite.

Once you establish that you’re not a woman who has standards when it comes to date activities, and you’re showing a man that you’re submissive to him, the male mind realizes that you aren’t high maintenance, and that he can now stop treating you like a girlfriend in the making and start treating you like a sex object.

HE THINKS: She likes me a lot more than I like her, so I can now try for sex without having to take her out on another date…

SHE THINKS: I like him a lot, so I don’t mind just going over to his place to hang out…

TWO WEEKS LATER: No more official date nights. Instead, it’s evolved into come over and chill, with sex involved. All thoughts of her being “wifey” are gone. Meanwhile, she still secretly thinks, “Maybe this will grow into more.” …it never does.

The Long Distance Situationship: Let’s take Miss Typical and put her in another type of situationship, the one where you’re hundreds or thousands of miles away. Long distance relationships only work 10% of the time, because it requires ONE thing—total dedication from both parties. To be fair, many women are loyal and can do without sex for stretches and will sacrifice money and time to fly or drive out. Men, on the other hand, rarely have the desire to not fuck something else, nor do they want to be flying across country unless that bond has already been established before the long distance started.

Situationships and Long Distances don’t mix. The LDS (Long Distance Situationship) is doomed from the jump, because you’re trying to be loyal to a person that isn’t yours. Talking on the phone is easy when it’s long-distance. You bond quicker than an episode of Love Is Blind, and it all feels very real.

Long talks until you fall asleep. Phone sex that becomes more intimate than real sex. Planning visits and endless talk about the future. It’s romantic, it’s exciting, and it forces you to be creative. There are women on date locally who can’t even get phone calls and barely know anything about the guys they date, so even though he’s far away, you’re in a better place than most women… but it’s all bullshit.

Long distance girls are a hobby for most men, and if you don’t put a label on anything and keep it at a situationship level, then it’s golden: You have a girl who isn’t around to annoy you with wanting dates. You have a girl who is willing to fly herself out to come fuck you. You have a girl who will wake up out of her sleep to help you jerk off via phone sex, even though she’s not horny and has to get up in a few hours for work. It’s the perfect relationship for a man who doesn’t want anything serious.

The best part is that in addition to her, you are still pulling various women in your city. You talk to her on the phone every day, but you still get to have sex with random girls who are local. Win/Win!

“I would be with you, but it’s the distance,” is an excuse that keeps you thinking it’s not a situationship, it’s just the right person at the wrong time. HA! That man doesn’t want you, but you’re very useful when he’s bored, so he’ll keep you around and gas your ego up for as long as you want to play stupid.

Most women in a LDR would rather be loyal to a fantasy than continue dating in reality! You don’t go out, you don’t even flirt with guys on the internet, and you even tell your friends that it’s serious. In the end, once you don’t have any more money to fly yourself out, or he finds a local girl that replaces you as his outlet, the calls will stop, and you’ll be left looking like a sucker. All those months spent loving someone who never loved you enough to say, “fuck the distance, you’re my girlfriend, and we’re going to make this work.”

Stop going out sad!

The On/Off Situationship: Stay in a woman’s life long enough for her to get used to you, and she’ll drop all standards. Ex-boyfriends or random dudes that have kept in contact over the years are the best at pulling off situationships because they sell their dick better than Timeshare companies.

“We always find our way back to each other, that’s my soulmate…” YAWN. Kill that fake spiritual shit and recognize that a man popping up every few months doesn’t mean it’s a sign from the universe, it means it’s a sign that no other woman wants that loser… but you.

So many men sneak back into a woman’s heart by saying, “I’m going to show you it’s different this time.” Theny go out twice, he puts his dick in you, hits those old spots that the new guys couldn’t hit, and now you’re telling people, “We’re not together we’re just working on some things.” A bold face LIE. You’re not building, you’re in a situationship with a man who has no bussiness being in your life.

These types of situationships work really well for the first month or two because it is exactly what you say it is. Do you know why this is? Because any man, no matter how fucked up he is, will be on his best behavior to ensure that you don’t change your mind about the arrangement. However, after he’s fucked you several times and has gotten comfortable again, he can drop the act and be the asshole he is normally. You’ll cut him off. In four months, he’ll call to apologize. …and the cycle repeats. Stop being an idiot and leave the past in the past.

The Forced Official Situationship: Finally we have the most common type of situationship, the one where a girl will finally put her foot down and demand a relationship. Miss Typical has had enough and she confronts this guy saying she wants to be serious. To her surprise, the guy says, “okay.” Here’s where men show their Supervillain IQ: A week after this talk, nothing changes. Okay, maybe you get to go to a movie or get taken to Cheesecake Factory, but in terms of the real shit– nada.

Calling him your boyfriend will not make him behave like a boyfriend! The spending time, the acting like he gives a fuck, the being accountable, it’s the same song and dance as before. After a month of this you’re even more stressed because now you have a boyfriend who doesn’t give a fuck as opposed to a dude you just fuck who isn’t supposed to give a fuck. You can’t put a collar on a dog and expect it to now stay in the house.

Real relationships don’t start with an ultimatum. A man chooses the woman he wants to be with on his own because he can’t imagine not having someone like that as his partner. When you force a situationship guy to become a relationship guy, you don’t change how he treats you. He still sees you as a placeholder, and he will continue to treat you like that because he doesn’t respect you enough to do the things boyfriends typically do.

Why would a man who doesn’t want you agree to be official? Men do not like hurting the feelings of women, most would rather disappear than tell you you’re whack, but when confronted with an ultimatum when they’re comfortable, a man will do what comes natural—lie! You want a relationship, we’re in the relationship, now shut up, and bend over.

Forcing a man will not result in a real transformation. Yeah we go together, but what does that mean? I’m supposed to answer my phone every time? I have to check in when I’m out late? I can’t fuck Tiffany? Good luck with that. Men who settle for Placeholders will always move how they want to with little respect for this “fake relationship”.

This forced boyfriend is still playing by his rules, and in order to not be the bad guy this is what he will do within the following weeks: He will be an asshole, and you will get soooo frustrated and argue that, “Men in relationships need to do blah blah blah. I need you to step up!” The moment you come at his neck, this guy will do exactly what he planned on doing all along, “See, this is why I told you I didn’t want anything serious!” Things were better before he was your official man, and he’s right.

You two will break up, and he will continue fucking you with no strings attached without you ever asking for a relationship again. He gave you want he wanted, and it backfired on you—Noncommittal Dicks 1 – Thirsty Bitches 0. Just because you have a bond and connection, doesn’t mean that it will amplify into true love once you put a label on it.

How to Upgrade a Situationship

Did you forget that one of the rules is “You Aren’t Going to Be Upgraded?” That shit wasn’t a typo. Sure you may be one of the few that gets a temporary relationship and have to suffer through the trying to make it work stage for a year until it collapses, but that’s hardly a prize. Most likely that man who’s gotten the milk for free will simply reject the idea of being with you officially. That’s right, go and ask him to make changes right now, and most likely he will say, “I’m good,” and shatter your overblown ego. Your scared ass should have made those demands during the first few weeks, now you’re three months too late. You can’t win in a situationship because situationships weren’t created for women to win.

Today’s men have evolved, they realize that Value Meal Women are so plentiful that there is no need to lie to these hoes like their Uncles did back in the 90’s. Today’s evolved men love bomb you, talk about everything they want to do with you, get the fast food pussy, maybe get a refill, and then discard you. “But we vibed…” No Basica, it wasn’t a vibe it was an Act! You’re in a situationship because that’s the only type of relationship you think you’re capable of getting a man to agree on. Where the fuck is your sense of worth?

The only situation that will ever benefit a woman is financial, never sexual. You have a “situation” called bills. You have a “situation” called shopping. If he wants to be your friend with benefits, cool. The benefits are that you will go hang out with him and keep him company, so long as he opens up his wallet and contributes to your happiness. No sex, no labels, just an equal exchange of your time for his generosity.

9 out of 10 of you will never tell a man what I just wrote. YET… you will let a man convince you that you should give him endless coochie, no strings attached, all because you think he’s cute and funny. HA. There’s never been a man that handsome or that funny, so why are you agreeing to be sexually exploited, but when it comes time to financially exploit a man, you back down? Stop letting the Patriarchy gaslight you into being a sexual object who gets the short end of the stick!

I saw some weak bitch meme about. “I’m only asking you what are we because I want to be clear before I let this other guy take me out.” That is the most pitiful shit ever! You mean to tell me that you’re so powerful and so independent, yet you wait on a MAN TO TELL YOU what your relationship status is before you date another man?

How am I more of a feminist than you and I have a dick? You don’t ask a man what you are, you tell him what you are! You don’t wait for him to get his shit together, he has to come with his shit together before he even calls your phone. If you want to be by yourself, you be by yourself for real, don’t play house and then get mad because the guy reminded you it was all “play”. You can’t force a relationship on a man and you can’t sneak a relationship in, you need to communicate what it is that you want and say that shit with your outside voice!

You upgrade a situationship by NOT BEING AFRAID to lose that man.

Here’s a SECRET: When he tells you he’s not looking for what you’re looking for… you look elsewhere, because he’s being honest! I don’t care if all you meet are men who don’t want anything serious, you keep searching until you find one that does think of you as good enough to go against his bachelor instincts. Spartans set their bar high and don’t give a fuck how many men fail to reach it. Spartans aren’t in a rush for a relationship with any man, they are on a quest for a relationship with the right man. Pussy is Power, learn the tactics to refine that power and stop stumbling around getting exploited by men!

For all the women reading this that are stressing over a man that’s not yours, don’t ask, “How can I get him to upgrade me,” ask, “When did I lose all self-respect for myself?” You weren’t forced at gunpoint, you weren’t tricked; you allowed yourself to be devalued by agreeing to be his “whatever” girl. Why the fuck would any woman agree to be leased by a man that doesn’t think she’s girlfriend pretty, girlfriend interesting, or girlfriend smart when she should be being pursued by men that want to own her flaws and all? Insecurity! No woman in a situationship is happy, she’s just comfortable.

Ladies, it’s not about upgrading the situationship; it’s about upgrading your mind so you will never again be the type of woman who thinks having half a boyfriend is cute or acceptable. Choose yourself because self-love means never having to ask a man, “What are we?”

When you’re ready to go deeper, listen or read my books: Men Don’t Love Women Like You, Ho Tactics, The Unicorn Delusion, and of course, Date Like A Spartan Expanded edition.

Click Here To Learn The Right Way To Start and Keep a New Relationship