How do you properly vet men on dates so you don’t make the same mistakes again…

By far the top question of 2026 so far has been how to properly vet… emails, DMs, even over brunch, the girlies are DOWN BAD and keep picking my brain: How can I tell if he’s worth my time…

Vetting isn’t just when a guy’s in front of you, it needs to happen consistently:

During the date.
After the date.
The next day.
Online.
Offline.
In the way he texts.
In the way he plans.
In the way he reacts when you ask real questions.
In the way his actions either match his words or expose him as another well-dressed problem.

Before you ever fix your mouth to say, “I think I like him,” you need at least 7 to 14 days of consistent vetting.

Not fantasizing.

Not screenshotting texts for your friends.

Not looking at his Instagram and pretending you’re Kash Patel with lip gloss.

Actual fucking vetting.

“I wish I would have known he was like that sooner.”

No shit!

Wisdom makes regret a non-factor.

There is no man who can play you for long when you know how to turn his cards face up. I do not care how charming, sneaky, manipulative, narcissistic, emotionally unavailable, or “different” he thinks he is.

Proper vetting shuts his bullshit down before it grows roots. It makes red flags bright red. Most importantly, it stops you from wasting your time with yet another “potential” who doesn’t pan out.

Background Checks Are Not Vetting

“I know how to vet, G.L.!” No, you don’t. A lot of passive-aggressive basicas love to play internet detective, and in the end, all that snooping amounts to a bunch of NOTHING.

Anyone can look up his IG, look at who he follows, Google his name, and try to piece some kind of story together. That’s not vetting, that’s a sloppy background check. You need to understand who he is, who he operates, and if his actions match his words, from the jump!

Do you know how to finese questions?

Do you know how to play Devil’s Advocate to make a man self-snitch?

Do you know how to play dumb just enough to lower his guard and then strike like a cobra?

I had a zoom call with a reader last month where I literally had to break down how to vet step by step, and this was a woman who’s read my books, but she still didn’t pay attention and understand how to pull it off.

Stop being confused, stop assuming, stop wondering, and know how to invade any man’s mind by understanding how guys operate, how they break you down, and how you can turn the tables.

Real vetting is not just finding information. Real vetting is understanding:

who he is
how he thinks
how he operates
what he wants from you
what he avoids telling you
whether his actions match his words
whether he is serious, bored, broken, or playing
whether he sees you as a woman to pursue or a woman to use

You need to know how to pull information out of a man without making the date feel like a cross-examination.

Any girl can ask, “So what are you looking for?”

And any man with a brain cell and a working mouth can lie and just tell you what you want to hear

That’s not vetting. It’s time to grow WISE and use the level of strategy that I share with my true Spartans.

The Spartan Vetting Guide

If you are tired of wondering whether a man is serious, tired of being blindsided by obvious red flags, and tired of saying, “I should have known better,” this is your next move.

Stop dating on hope.

Start dating with evidence.

Today I’m releasing: The Spartan Vetting Guide.

12 Steps. 12 Examples. 1 Chance to email me.

This isn’t just a normal ebook. It’s a guide that also comes with ONE EMAIL QUESTION.

Download it. Take it all in. And if you still have a question about vetting (don’t write me about something off topic, only the vetting process), then you will be able to write me directly at the end of this Guide.