That bitch ain’t even cute, why he talking to her? His pants are too tight, he probably gay on the low. Her ass is fake, you can tell by the shape? He broke anyway, ballers get tables in the club. Niggas always press up on the hoes. I could get attention too if I had my titties out. There is nothing more active than the mind of a hater. It’s one thing to point out a hot mess, laugh a little and move on, but there are some people who take it to the extreme. What starts out as going to the club to turn up, ends with a hater in a circle with her boring ass friends, sipping on a now watered down pineapple and Ciroc, while side eyeing girls who are actually enjoying themselves. “This place is so damn dry, girl” is the medicine that makes her feel better. Those who are enjoying themselves are basic or ratchet, and the reason she isn’t partying isn’t due to lack of attention, it’s because she is above these people… Welcome to the world of the Bitter Bitch. Insecure people have to make excuses and put others down to feel confident. Confidence isn’t walking into a room with your nose in the air, and thinking you’re better than everyone else, it’s walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone in the first place. We all want to be in first place, but the Tortoise didn’t beat the Hare by laying back in the cut and saying, “Rabbits ain’t shit, this race weak AF”, he focused on what he was doing and made it to the finish line. Negative vibes will never lead to positive results. Social media has taken bitterness to a new level. No longer does bitter ass Bittney Spears have to go outside to slander strangers or be on the phone to roll her eyes as her best friend talks about a new boo. She can hate from behind a keyboard. Every girl who posts a lovey-dovy picture on instagram is a ” hoe that’s getting played”, and anyone who tweets about doing it big has to be a “broke ass liar”. Insecure people can’t accept anyone being happier or more successful than they are, and anger is the shield that keeps them guarded from the truth.

As the year comes to a close, a lot of women feel hopeless because they thought this would be the year they would find “the one”. You met a few guys who had potential but they turned out just like the rest. Mature women evolve and adapt while bitter women place blame. She’s classier than Jenelle from Teen Mom, prettier than Natalie Nunn, and weighs forty pounds less than her cousin Tasha who just got engaged. In her mind she deserves a commitment more than those three. Stop ring checking other women and walk in your own damn shoes!  The term “Hoes Stay Winning” was the motto of 2012 because it was an excuse that made the so called “classy chicks” feel better about not finding a decent man. You aren’t a hoe and men only want hoes… my god you’ve figured out why you’re single! You are perfect, it’s just that all men are dumb hoe chasers. Womp Womp! Denial is so easy to swallow because it tastes so damn good! It will never be that black and white. Women who found love in 2012 weren’t all hoes or a few exceptions to the rule. Excuses may help you sleep at night, but you still have to wake up and deal with life in the morning. Hoes aren’t holding you back, your city isn’t holding you back, bum men aren’t holding you back, you are holding yourself back. It’s time to stop being bitter and start being better.

Bitterness Vs. Confidence

The word “hater” is so overused, it’s natural to feel some sort of envy when you think you are more deserving than someone else. No single woman wants to hear about engagements, marriages, or vacations when they know they are just as worthy as the woman that’s posting status updates about “him”. However, if you let another person’s success frustrate you, you will become bitter. Bitterness is a disease that creates a false confidence that most people depend on to get by in life. I know Bittneys who claim, “I’m not worried about the next bitch”, but are monitoring Facebook feeds like it’s an NBA game. The moment their rival/friend puts up a negative status or is out of a relationship, she pops her collar like, “See, she ain’t shit”. Who takes pride in someone else’s failure? A lot of people, and that’s the problem. Seeing other people fall short is like 91 supreme to haters, it fuels their ego because their own self-confidence is nonexistent. If someone doesn’t shower Bittney with attention, then that person is considered stupid and the girl that’s getting the spotlight is a hoe. A girl who walks around college with a group of boys surrounding her can’t be a cool chick, she has to be sucking dick, that’s the explanation a less popular girl settles on to keep sane. God forbid that she has to face the fact that some girls are just more interesting. Men can be extremely bitter too, but at least they’re more verbal about it. A mixtape rapper will see that Trinidad James signed a deal and tell the entire world how that should be him. MC IbustMyGunCusImReal will blame the success of a less lyrical rapper on politics, payola, and even devil worship. That nigga was in the same situation as you, but he didn’t sit at home spamming YouTube videos, he was in the streets building an actual buzz and networking with the right people. Most niggas will blow off that hater steam by arguing or fighting, then their ice grill melts, and they’re over it. Women, on the other hand, tend to be more introverted because they don’t want to announce their feelings to the world and be seen as haters. Burying that jealousy is worse because the more you hold that animosity in, the more you need it to mask your shortcomings. I would see the prettiest girls posted by the bar annoyed, and wonder why they even bothered to leave the house. They didn’t spend hours figuring out what to wear, getting their hair to lay right, and arching their eyebrows just to play on their phones all night. Those women came out to have fun, so why are they so miserable? “ Ain’t no cute boys in here, these niggas dusty”, but if homie you snuck a look at across the bar were to ask for your number you would go home pumped. “These bitches are so thirsty in here”, but if you had that same guy strike up a conversation, you would be laughing and flirting with that man just like that alleged thirsty bitch. Tearing someone else down isn’t going to make you more approachable. If you walk in a room with a chip on your shoulder you’ve already lost. There will always be busted niggas and tacky hoes in the spot, but when you spend more time focused on them than on enjoying yourself, you turn into the real loser. Just because you’re not verbalizing your resentment or disgust, doesn’t make you any less bitter. There is something going on in your life that you refuse to own up to, and you won’t be truly happy until you figure out why you’re so mad.

I’m Bad Built, Nobody Wants Me

What the fuck is bad built in the first place? Women let men lower their self-esteem by comparing them all to strippers. The world is not Body Tap, the majority of women do not have a waist like Draya and an ass like K. Michelle. If you let niggas tell it, they only fuck with girls that look like they stepped out of a comic book, and if you have a flat ass, undefined abs, or mosquito bites then you will never get pulled. Bullshit! Men say they want one thing, but will break their necks to chase down something that looks nothing like what they described as their dream girl. Remember that episode of The Simpsons where Homer designed his dream car and that joint turned out a complete clusterfuck? That’s how we are, we want everything that sounds nice packed into one object because we like the idea of it. Ask us what kind of girl we would throw a ring on, she’d be tall, long hair, in perfect shape, with light eyes, and an exotic skin tone— I just described She-Hulk, not the woman he’s actually going to fall in love with. Every man has one type: Pussy. As long as that’s between your legs, you will always find multiple men who will love what your vagina is wrapped in. Girls with big asses have developed extreme confidence in the 21^st century regardless of their face because black culture has put that at the top of the list. Raise that girl in 80’s and she would feel fat and unloved because Suzanne Summers with the big tits was all the rage. Niggas will be Akon during an eclipse dark, yet talk about how they only smash redbones. But go over to Germany and watch how the white boys go nuts over some deep chocolate. The point is, you can’t make every man in the world appreciate you, so fuck what they think, and focus on appreciating yourself. Trust me, men want you, but how will you meet them hiding in the house, buried under layers of clothes, or screwing your face up at the girl who makes you feel insecure? Instead of walking into a party and rolling your eyes at shorty with the fake breast and slandering the girl who you think has an ass filled with fix-a-flat, live your life. If you’re stuck with losers because you have body issues, understand that he’s not your only option, “This Depo blew me up, he’s the only one that’s going to want me… I’m too skinny, I’m lucky I found this one.” stop settling. Sit-ups are on sale for free.99 and jogging still cost the same as it always has. If you’re that unhappy you can reshape your body. There is no reason to hate yourself or undervalue your worth. Feeling sexy is the true definition of being sexy.

I Have A Child, Nobody Wants Me

I’ve heard men say, “Nobody wants a woman with a kid”, zero times this year. I’ve heard women say that at least seven times. Stop listening to females who see you as competition, of course they’re going to make single mother jokes and clown dudes who would dare to date you, you’re their rival. Stop trying to guess what’s in the mind of a man you haven’t even met. Unless you hear the dude you’re interested in say that he’s not dealing with a woman with a kid, then it’s all speculation! Generalizing men based off the shit your ratchet girlfriends tell you is an easy way find yourself just as single as they are. There is no reason for a girl in her twenties to talk about how she was shutting shit down and niggas were on her clit, pre-baby. The doctor didn’t seal your coochie with cement after you gave birth, that means you can still get it cracking. Who’s stopping you from going out and acting your age? My baby is my world. Awesome, but your world is now old enough to have a babysitter, so why are you fronting? Those women who hide behind motherhood can transform into some of the biggest haters if they isolate themselves from the real world. I once read an update that said “I’m glad I have my son, or I’d probably be a hoe too”. Saturday Night Subliminal Status Updates > Saturday Night Life. That told me she wanted to get her fuck on, but no longer had a social life that allowed her to participate in those reindeer games. Those who can’t do- criticize. You’re afraid of going out, meeting someone, and then scaring him off after chit-chat reveals you have a child. Relax. Not all men are going to run away. You aren’t limited to your baby’s daddy or the inbox niggas who are just trying to come over and fuck. There is no reason to call other women who are doing the things you want to be doing messy or act as if you’re beyond them. Mama can cook, clean, and help with homework, but afterwards she can take her hair out of the bun, remove those sweatpants, and take advantage of being single.

What’s Wrong With Me?

The ultimate sign of being a Bittney is the phrase, “He’s only with her because…” These women know absolutely nothing about their own men, yet they somehow know everything about the thought process of another girl’s man. He’s only with her because she gives him money. He’s only with her because she lets him cheat. He’s only with her because she got her own place. Shut. The. Fuck. Up! No matter what reasoning you come up with to explain why she has a man, it doesn’t change the fact that despite her flaws, she has someone. Maybe guys think she’s prettier than you. Maybe guys find her more interesting than you. Maybe she’s in high demand because she drips with the confidence that you have yet to find. Who she fucks doesn’t make you nut, so why are you so obsessed with her love life? I get emails way too frequently from women who are sharing a dick with another chick, and all they do is insult the other girl in the picture, “I don’t know what he sees in her”. This is why men are winning, because females are too focused on outdoing each other. You shouldn’t need to compete and slore yourself out to feel like more of a woman. You don’t need a man to validate your bad bitch status. The cliché of “There’s nothing wrong with you” is fraudulent. There is something wrong with you, you’re defensive and resentful. “But I ain’t even mad, tho. Look at me and look at her“, your actions have turned your words into lies!  Those who are the most bitter aren’t always the ones who are poor, have body issues, or unattractive, those who are gorgeous on the outside tend to be the ugliest inside. In LA I’ve seen the outbursts, I’m pretty, I’ve been in videos, all men want to fuck me and all women want to be me. If you have to tell somebody how important you are, you aren’t that important. These women aren’t assholes, they’re masking serious issues. There are so many girls who have been faking it for so long that honestly don’t know how to love themselves. It’s time to let the anger go. You won’t always be the girl who gets all eyes on her when she walks in the room. There will be men who don’t smile at you the same way they smile at the next girl. Guys who said they weren’t ready for a relationship will pop up in relationships soon after they stop talking to you. Men who fucked you and disappeared will end up married months later. None of that is reason to panic, cry, or lash out. You can only be who you are, and to compare yourself to anyone else would be a mistake. This year may not have turned out how you expected it, but you have another shot. Are you going to continue to blame circumstances real or imagined, or are you prepared to take a hard look at yourself and choose to be better? Hoes be winning, men ain’t shit, girls are phony- that’s so 2012. The only one that can stop your progress in 2013 is you.