I got an email from a reader asking for advice on a problem. Let’s call her Gina for lack of a better anonymous name. Gina likes the internet… a lot. I’m not talking Pandora and Hulu; she likes to have online sex. She says that she is “very attractive” but shy, so it’s hard to meet guys her age normally. Online she has multiple boyfriends, and while it’s not always about sex, most of the time it is.
Fast-forward she has a boyfriend now, a guy who she actually met online and now they are dating in real life. Her problem is that he now knows that he wasn’t the first person who she had a sexual instant messenger relationship with, and he wants her to stop being an i-hoe (Adara has yet to give me a suitable replacement for slutatious behavior so I’m rolling with hoe). Gina doesn’t see the harm in continuing on with her internet boyfriends as long as he knows that he’s her real life boyfriend. “What should I say to him, I don’t want to lie”? Was her question.
What qualifies as cheating has to be revised for the digital age since the majority of people with Facebook, voxer, bbm, skype, twitter, and aim have or will use those communication devices for private sex sessions. If you’re in a relationship you’re committed to that person, you don’t call other people you like, you don’t text other people you like—it’s just not what you do when trying to be faithful. Temptation is hard enough, constant contact with the object of your desire can break the best of us. But the internet is judged differently. It's so removed that most people consider cyber sex/cyber flirting like watching a porn-- fictional simulation. The net is a place where thirsty niggas and parched bitches can bust nuts at DSL speeds, but it all ends as soon as you power off. Those other people are no threat to your relationship, right? WRONG! It's the same shit!
There are two types of people. Those who like to talk nasty, and those who wish they could. The internet is where even the most reserve women can...