Pornography is like the wheel, it’s one of those simple yet genius inventions that changed the world in an instant. Watch people fuck. That’s the mission statement of porn. Why would I want to watch some other dude get head and cum in a girl’s face? I’m getting nothing out of that, if anything it sounds gay. But it’s the exact opposite. Watching porn is the American pastime that we don’t talk about. Men watch it, Women watch it, and celebrities make wack ones of their own. But why is Black porn so different from White porn? We’re all humans, most of us get turned on by the same types of things, yet when it comes to race in porn everything is different. I’m not talking about the production value and the pay rate, that comes with the territory. I’m talking about the things girls do on film. That’s where the biggest difference comes in. It has nothing to do with the industry, and everything to do with Black Women. Black Girls aren’t Nasty.

I saw a box for a movie; it said “Black Girls Get Nasty Too”. So what does it mean to be nasty? Midget porn and golden showers, yeah that’s fucking nasty. Two girls eating each other out is nasty, but in a normal way. Black and White men watch the same amount of porn I would guess, but it’s the fantasies of the average white middle aged man that drives the porn industry because those are the people who own the production companies. Bobby is white; he likes movies where girls squirt in a guy’s mouth. Deandre is black, he likes movies where girls oil up their enormous booties and get that ass pounded from the back. Both have fetishes but Bobby’s is a little more out there. Don’t get me wrong Deandre would probably watch the squirting video, but he’d be like “nigga that shit fake, girls don’t cum like that, she’s pissing in yo mouth!” Black people talk a lot about sex, on the phone or texting, we get pretty kinky. But when it comes to actual sex we’re not that experimental. There is only so much you can do in the bedroom right? WRONG. It’s only so much you can do in the bedroom with a Black woman before you creep her the fuck out.

Los Angeles is the Mecca of porn, it’s everywhere but it’s not a big deal. I accidentally appeared in a porn movie. Me and my boy E went to a club where they were shooting a movie and by entering we agreed to be used in a movie called Big Ass Party 2. Imagine sipping a drink and chit chatting with a girl while a porn star fucks five feet away from you… not as sexy as you think it is. When I first moved out here I was broke and needed money so I turned to the porn business. Not like that… I got hired to write porn reviews. I like to judge people, so I figured getting paid to judge people fucking on film was a non brainer . That shit sucked. Watching porn as an art rather than masturbation material is a totally different experience. I reviewed Adult films for about two months before I couldn’t take it anymore (email me and I’ll send you a link to one of my reviews, they were epic). Most of the movies I watched where primarily white with some Asian and “ebony” chicks sprinkled in for diversity. A white porn actress is on another level than a Black porn actress when it comes to freaky shit. White chicks say the filthiest things, love to be spat on, choked, and give deep throat until their eyes water up. The Black porn movies I reviewed where interesting to say the least. Low budget, no storyline, and the chicks were out of shape. When I did get to a scene where there was a sexy black chick about to be dicked down, I would get excited—not like that. 9 out of 10 times the pretty ass Black chick would be the worst fuck of the film. Stiff, fake moan, ugly grimace when taking dick and she didn’t do anal. FAIL. But it’s not her fault. These girls aren’t professionals. For every pro like Roxy, Jada, or Lacey you have some stripper chick fresh off the bus who decided to try porn because she met Mr. Marcus at Roscoe’s. Phat booty stripper chicks are not equipped to fuck on camera, so she fucks like she would in her real life. See in real life, a pretty chick riding your dick or letting you drill it from the back is good enough—hell it’s spectacular. But when you’re competing with White girls like Sasha Grey who love to eat ass and take two dicks at the same time, you’re lame as hell.

Why Aren’t Black Girls Nasty?

SUCKING DICK IS THE END OF THE SPECTRUM: Giving head, it’s a debate in the Black community. Some black girls do, some don’t. White girls laugh at that, they’ve been discussing “swallow or spit” since 7th grade. Sure Black girls are sucking dick more and more regularly these days, but it’s still thought of as the nastiest act you will do for your man. Licking balls is a special occasion thing so you know it doesn’t go pass that. Eating ass? I dare you to ask her to do that. My boy in college got his ass ate by this musical theater major, he ran to my dorm room to tell me because for a Black dude to get a black girl to eat his ass, that was like discovering fire. Porn chicks get paid to do stuff like that, yet you won’t see Cherokee eating Brian Pumper’s ass out, because even though she’s a porn star, those Black Girl boundaries remain. She sucked your dick homie, that’s as far as she’s going to go.

PAIN IS NOT FUN: I’ve said it many times in this blog, pussy isn’t hard to get. So how do you make the game more interesting? Go for the ass. It’s a difficult task to get a black girl to let you kick in the back door like an ATF officer. “It’s going to hurt!” Of course it’s going to hurt! I’m trying to put something inside a hole that’s not meant to have things go inside it. I’ve only had two girls say they enjoyed it, most of them punk out before you get it all the way in. I’m sure these Latina whores that work for Vivid as “Anal specialist” hate the way it feels, but they do it for the money, and they will perform on camera as if they LOVE IT. I’ve seen Kapri Styles take a dick in the ass, and while she does it well, shorty doesn’t look happy. Stay away from a Black Woman’s ass!

NIGGAS TALK: If you let my boy piss on you, please believe he won’t be able to keep that to himself. I didn’t even know niggas really pissed on chicks until after the R. Kelly tape, and then 3 different dudes proudly came out and told me how they gave the power shower to chicks. I was talking to this girl who I heard took piss to the face, and I couldn’t stop laughing in my head. Eventually someone snitched and she found out why everyone smirked at her—how embarrassing is that? Black Girls know Black Men have loose lips, if he’s bragging on something as normal as using a vibrator on your clit while he smashed, of course he’s going to tell the block that you like Anal beads in your ass and toes in your pussy. Black Girls probably think of doing freakier shit, but they won’t act on it because the trust isn’t there.

NOT THE HAIR: I saw some Bukkake joint where this black chick had to take pop shots from about ten white dudes dressed in confederate flags. She smiled as they called her all kinds of “niggers” and giggled when they smacked her face. It was an exploitation film, and she signed up for it and was probably paid better than the average gonzo film where she bounces her ass in the camera and then fakes a lesbian orgasm while Pinky grinds on her with a strap on. But after all the smacking and derogatory comments, this starlet had to take the loads of ten men in her face. She freaked out when some got in her hair. I laughed my ass off, you’re taking cum in your eye but you’re upset that some guy didn’t follow the rule about not skeeting in your weave?

JESUS DON’T LIKE DP: Even Black girls who don’t go to church fear the wrath of god. I’ve seen films where girls dress like Nuns and have sex with a Priest, I don’t see what’s sexy about that but Ted the accountant who went to catholic school needs that scenario to get him off. Jenna Haze won’t hesitate to take a crucifix in her vagina for a few dollars extra, but Naomi Banxxx would walk off the set. I don’t think one race is more religious than the other, but culturally Black people are raised NEVER to joke about religion. Even the freakiest Black girls draw the line at blasphemy. You can find a regular jump off from around the way and have her suck the homies off, call her out her name, etc… and she’d be all good. But as soon as you start off a joke, “Why can’t Jesus eat M&M’s” she becomes Sister Christian and threatens to leave the room. Its okay to scream “Oh My God” …the rest is off limits.

Black Girls get nasty too, they get down with threesome’s, swallow, spank, handcuff, all of that. But in today’s world of ass to mouth that stuff isn’t nasty, it’s as normal as the missionary position. Porn producers will always find that one chocolate honey that’s willing to blow a horse, but for the most part Black porn stars play it safe, thus the average Black girl will play it safe. You may think that what the chicks in the xxx movies do has nothing to do with what you do, but you’re wrong. Porn is a huge part of our lives growing up, you want a girl to learn how to suck dick—throw on a flick. A woman is exploring her body trying to find out what makes her climax—throw on a flick. You think you may be into girls—throw on a flick. No one is born knowing how to have sex; even if you don’t watch porn it has affected you. The nigga that taught you the right way to ride his cock or corrected your wack ass fellatio—he learned that from a flick. As long as Black porn stays in check, we don’t have to worry about the girls in the hood wanting niggas to dress up in furry animal suits, and in turn niggas will keep their foot fetish fantasies to themselves. Does it mean repressing your more extreme desires in favor of corny School Girl uniform role-playing? Yes, but it’s for the greater good of the Black community. 

I’m proud to live in a world where Black women don’t need to keep a turkey baster next to the bed so they can suck the seamen out of them and then swallow it.

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