I can not imagine what it’s like to be a woman when it comes to this notion of “You have to please your man to keep  your man“. Women are expected to be sexual goddesses in order to keep their man happy, while men are free to be wack as fuck in the bed with no fear of their lady looking for superior dick. You’re supposed to be content with a dude running up in you with a semi hard dick while demanding that you tell him that it’s his pussy? Really? How tragic is that shit? No matter how good of a human being you are, if you don’t throw the pussy the right way you risk your man creeping. Welcome to the double standard of sex.

She couldn’t fuck him like I could” is real, men are well aware that there is always another girl who has a better skill set than the one we’re with. Men don’t cheat because she’s prettier– it’s the thought that maybe her pussy is better than the pussy we have at home. No man will EVER tell a girl her pussy isn’t the best, we’re men aka the most dishonest creatures on the earth. We’ll keep it to ourselves, wait until the next train to new pussyville arrives, and jump on board like a hobo in the night– deuces. Will a woman leave a man for a better dick?  I doubt it. Will a man leave his woman for better pussy? It happens all the time but no one talks about it. How important is sex in a relationship? It’s #2 behind honesty. All vaginas are created the same for the most part, I’ve vacationed in more than I can honestly remember and never have I thought “wow this must be that new space age coochie“. Pussy is pussy. If she has bad sex it isn’t because her pussy is wack, it’s because the person attached to the pussy is wack. 

Remember when Dave Chappelle told Ron Jeremy, “Ron I got my stroke from you“. That’s real talk. As little boys we watch porn to get our stroke down because growing up all you hear from the older guys is “you better tear that pussy up” that’s a lot of pressure especially when you don’t even understand what “tear that pussy up” entails. Little girls don’t go through that anxiety because most of them think all you do is lay there. It’s true, a woman can lay there with her legs up yawning and be told she was the best he’s ever had because at that moment of ejaculation it is the best. It’s only later when we run up in a vagina with superior skills that we realize how wack Angela with the big titties really was. I blame it on society. Young ladies grow up learning how to braid hair and match outfits, they never become obsessed with whether or not they can ride dick properly. 14 year old girls don’t sneak off and study Naomi Banxxx’s technique; they’re expected to learn on the job. There is a generation of women out here sleepwalking through sexual intercourse and it’s not right! How many women know how to fuck? I mean really know what they’re doing. We have phenoms like @Maxfab who I can tell without even test driving, knows what to do with a hard dick and limited time. And then we have these shy as a butterfly chicks that fuck as passionately as they fill out job applications. Who would ever marry a rubbish fuck? There are two types of women.

The Accidental Nut: She shows up. Takes her clothes off. He puts it in. He cums. Not because she’s good, but because it’s a wet, semi-tight hole.

The Pro Pussy: She shows up. Rips her clothes off. She puts it in herself. Now he’s apologizing for cuming too fast.

Every girl thinks they have Pro pussy, but they’ve been mislead. In college I spent a semester smashing this Accidental Nut. She was boring and I had to think about different girls in order to cum. But here’s the fucked up thing—I told her she was good. Why? Because I wanted to inspire confidence so I could keep having sex with her. Bad sex is better than no sex on a saturday night.

What about men who can’t make girls cum? Get in line, we already know that most dudes are better at eating pussy than beating pussy. Here’s the double standard: A woman can have a functional loving relationship and never complain about not cuming whereas a man will lie, cheat, and trick to get a better nut. Weak Dick Davon can pull the good girl and keep her happy, because women don’t see wack sex as a deal breaker. Don’t lie; raise your hand if you’ve been in a relationship with a guy who had a substandard dick? Now did you roll with the punches or did you find a way to sabotage the relationship and leave him? I bet 9 out of 10 stayed with weak dick Davon. Soft dicks are not a reason to break up. As long as he treats you right there are work arounds sexually, shit the pharmaceutical industry makes billions off of weak dicks. Most women are not sexually shallow so the subject of sexual inadequacy only comes up AFTER she breaks up with him (hence the girl outside of the club screaming at her ex boyfriend “that’s why your dick is little“). Men are very shallow when it comes to sex. Wack pussy is a deal breaker for us and we will sabotage a solid relationship if her sex isn’t on the level we’re accustomed to. I had a love affair with one of the sexiest girls I’ve ever known, but her sex game was like a Florida Marlins games—people are playing—but the stands were empty. So after 3 months of trying to look on the bright side I moved on to a Spartan girl who knew how to contract pussy muscles and inspire projectile seamen. She never knew sex was the reason I stopped seeing her.
In the classic words of Lady “Can’t Even Lie, Fuck Better when I’m drankin, ride dick like a pro/ throw the pussy like I’m famous” Why does she have to be drunk to fuck like a champ? If you’re a grown woman you shouldn’t be shy. You shouldn’t be afraid to tell him to fuck you harder or you’ll find someone who can. You shouldn’t be afraid to look down as the dick goes in and out. It’s cum, not acid—don’t run from it! Be nasty. Sex is nasty! Hump hump go to sleep? Huh, what the fuck were you two doing because that’s not how it’s done. In 20 years you’ll be married and miserable and you can bust nuts like that, but for now go hard! I believe it was the Elizabethan poet Adara who said, “I don’t put in work at the gym so I can fuck with the lights off”.

You shouldn’t have good sex to please your man, it’s not about him, it’s about being the god damn best at what you do! Every time you have sex it should be better than the last, even if your man can’t throw dick like he should make sure you’re on point. I don’t want to live in a world where 60% of the women have Corpse Bride Coochie. When you’re beginning a relationship I know it’s tough to step your pussy game up. Girls don’t want a guy to think they’re hoes so they hold back. Take note, there is nothing wrong with giving him the David Copperfield the first few months and then unleashing that Harry Potter shit after the 3 month anniversary, its reverse psychology. It makes his dumb ass think that he’s turning you out, but in reality you’ve been sucking your own titty and squirting since you were in 11th grade.

Learn to fuck. Just because he says you’re the best and cums fast doesn’t mean you’re doing it to the best of your abilities. You didn’t put him to bed, it’s 11:30pm the nigga was already sleepy. You’re The Accidental Nut and I’m calling you out on it. Here’s some homework, the next time you have sex I want you to test yourself. I don’t care if you’re smashing your fiance, jump off, 2nd cousin, or best friend’s boyfriend, the next time you get it in, I want you to be nasty, aggressive, and creative. Do everything in your power to make him cum with the fury of an AK-47. That pussy should be so good that after he busts, he’s content with lying in a pool of nasty wetness with the condom still on for an hour. This nigga should not even want to wash your scent off his fingers! You have to be like Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds, you came in and changed this nigga’s life for the better and even after you’re gone he’ll never forget you. #Yankin

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