I love the book The Accidental Billionaires, which was the source used for the film The Social Network. There isn’t much difference, but the book does detail the characters motivations more in depth than the film does. Mark Zuckerberg and Eduardo Saverin were basically geeks who wanted to get ass. Their rivals, the Winklevoss brothers were jocks who wanted to get ass. To simplify things, the pursuit of pussy created Facebook. I’m not a fan of Facebook, but I find its creation fascinating. It started off an exclusive site where Ivy League guys who didn’t have the balls to walk across the dining hall and speak to a pretty girl would be able to go back to their dorms, login, look for that same girl, and begin to court her over the internet. Unlike the spam filled ratchet mess it’s become today, at its inception thefacebook was the perfect tool for college students to get laid. You talk to a girl at your school online for a week, establish a relationship, chemistry, etc… and by the time you decide to meet up for drinks off campus she’s already feeling you. There was no need to be shy or nervous, she’s seen pictures, she knows your major, your interests, your relationship status, and even if you weren’t her type a week ago, you are now because she’s taken the time to get to know you. Mark Zuckerberg figured out how to get niggas pussy without leaving the comfort of their computer screen, that alone deserves 50 billion dollars.

That invention rippled through our society and today the preferred means of communication romantically for most people under 30 is electronic. Texts, chat, and email, are king because we can say shit we would never ever say face to face unless we were comfortable with that person. I would never get into a face to face discussion about oral sex with a girl I just met two days ago, we’re not that cool for me to be asking her to sit on my face and if she swallows or spit. But if we’re texting or chatting you’re almost required to talk about your preference for giving head almost instantaneously. Technology all but eliminates the getting to know you process and as soon as you start typing back and forth, it’s like you’ve known each other for months. Publicist point to twitter to show how easy it is for fans to interact with their favorite movie stars or athletes. The thing people don’t realize is that every pretty girl on the internet is a celebrity because there are hundreds of thirsty niggas who are fans of how she looks. In the past those niggas would have to stand in the corner and admire from a distance, now these men have a direct line to hit her up. And all anyone needs for success is an opportunity…

Sex has become so easy in today’s world, and it has nothing to do with women being freakier than they were ten years ago, it has everything to do with accessibility. In 2001 Jesse couldn’t fuck Jasmine because his swag was corny and Jasmine only fucked with bosses  In 2011 Jesse doesn’t have to wait around like he’s Duckie on Pretty in Pink, hoping she notices him and takes a chance. He can add her on Facebook, write a few witty messages, get her number, and depending on how good his text game is, he can have Jasmine open off of his personality before they even go on a first date. It’s that easy!!! It’s no longer about how smooth you can talk, it’s about how bomb your chat and text conversations are. In the Mark Zuckerberg world of “Too shy to holla in person” the geeks, nerds, and socially retarded are king, well maybe not king but they’re on equal footing with every other guy.

TEXT ME, DON’T CALL ME!: This is how i-babies react to a phone call; they let it ring, then go to voicemail, then text that person back. She’s not avoiding him, she’s not busy, she’s sitting on the couch not doing shit, however she won’t answer the phone because that’s not where’s she’s comfortable talking to boys. Before the nigga can even leave a voicemail his phone vibrates with a text, “hey wht up?”. My first reaction would be “bitch, answer your phone I don’t have time to be writing out conversations”. But that’s not how the game works. If you want her, you have to play by her rules. To older dudes that shit is weak as fuck, but it does have its advantages. Any dude who has an i-baby knows that at 2am she’s going to be up ready to sext. That all it takes is a few promises of I won’t show anyone, to get titty pictures sent over daily (Her: New hair style. You Like? Him: Send one with your shirt off.). And most importantly when you don’t feel like being bothered with her typeative ass you can say, “My battery died”. Back in the day if you didn’t return a girl’s phone call after a week, she would probably cut you off. Today you can ignore text messages, knowing damn well you’re reading them. Most girls won’t even pick up the phone and call, they’ll just keep texting. Really? Six texts messages and no answer back are you that afraid to use your voice box that you won’t pick up the phone and physically call him? And when she does call just crank that “I lost my phone, just got a new one, what’s up sexy, I missed you” and most of the time all’s forgiven. It’s incredible the amount of bold face bullshit you can get away with in a texted based relationship. It kind of makes me mad that I didn’t really get to experience this current era of “text… text… now can we fuck?” I kinda feel like Dan Marino looking at modern football rules and saying, “Damn I would have won five Superbowls if I could have played under these soft ass rules”. Nothing beats a grown ass woman that’s willing to verbally communicate. There’s so much you can tell about a person listening to how they talk. You don’t have to rely on the overuse of LOL to make sure that you didn’t just offend her and you know by the tone of her voice where you can and can’t take a conversation. Thanks to texting the art of conversation has become as relevant as Latin. Then again there is something to having a girlfriend who can type 140 characters while blind folded and sucking a dick.
John Cryer Winning:Men don’t email me that much, but I’ve gotten a few in the past talking about not being the type girls go for and not knowing what to do. Too fat, too skinny, too broke, too shy, none of that shit matters if you know how to package yourself. Let’s keep it real, technology has lowered the standards of women. Despite the deal breaker talk, it’s amazing how far away from their “perfect man” a woman will stray. More than ever women are willing to get dick downed by Mr. 3rd place finish, because most of the guys they deem “my type” turn out to be assholes. When she has an asshole not responding to her text messages on one hand, and a cool guy she doesn’t really find that attractive texting what she likes to hear on the other hand, her standards will lower.If you’re out at a club and a woman is digging your homeboy because she thinks he’s cuter than you are, but your homeboy isn’t feeling her, you win. You know your homie doesn’t want her ass and she doesn’t want to leave feeling like a rejected cow so this is the perfect time to holla at Ms. “My Type”. She’s going to give you her number because you caught her in a weak moment and reaffirmed that she is pretty, now you get rewarded with a shot. You know the men that say, “Just get me an interview and I’ll get the job”? That’s the type of swag that has to drip from your pores when engaging with a girl who only gave you her number by default. A woman giving you her number doesn’t mean she wants to fuck you, get to know you, or even talk to you. If you call her she’ll probably ignore the call or say she’s busy each time. But she is open to texting with you because girls today are famous for saying, “I’m bored, my phone ain’t popping” when the fuck did your SMS become a twitter timeline? It doesn’t matter; use her fear of boredom and willingness to marathon text to your advantage. Texting isn’t seen as that personal anymore, it’s like bbm before blackberry went the way of the woolly mammoth, it’s a part of your phone but not really. Since girls use texting like it’s an App, you can get a girl who doesn’t think much of you to communicate on the regular. And if you have that “just get me an interview…” personality then all you need is a few texts or IMs to make her look at you in a different light. Getting a girl to think “He’s not my type… but I’m starting to like him” is how niggas have been winning for years, and in a world where you can get people to fall in love via a qwerty keyboard every John Cryer has a shot at Molly Ringwald.

The Darkside of E-Life: I acted in a scene for a TV show a few months back and being a nigga who can’t enjoy the spoils of being around sexy women anymore I brought my homie along so he could hang out on the set with me. He took a liking to this one actress but didn’t get her number by the time she wrapped. I clowned him about it for a few days, “nigga you had your own trailer and you couldn’t smash a background actress, anti-swag!” I wasn’t serious, just busting his balls, but a week later this nigga emails me a link of the girl’s Facebook page saying “Got her!” How do you find a girl whose name you didn’t even know on Facebook? He replied that he was that good. Um… stalk much? That’s the shit I’m talking about. Niggas have become that comfortable in the e-world that they don’t even bother to try in public. I’m not sure if he ended up going out with the girl or not, but it has to be creepy as hell to have somebody hit you up on Facebook trying to holla when they could have done so face to face. But that’s where this world is heading; we hide behind technology way too much. I mean it makes meeting new people easier, limits rejection, and expedites the getting to know you process, but what about keeping them? Everyone now knows someone who has broken up due to some shit that went down on the internet or some text message that was found. Continuing to e-hoe is another argument, the biggest problem I see is that people continue to stay distanced after they’re together. I’m not saying stop texting and chatting with someone you’re in like with, but you have to open up a more traditional line of communication with each other in order for the relationship to grow. If you two are now a couple, marathon text sessions should be replaced by actual talking. Texting “I luv u” and saying “I love you” aren’t the same thing. Typing “how was your day” doesn’t come off as caring as picking up the motherfucking phone and asking it. We’re more connected then we’ve ever been, but it also makes relationships more disposable than ever, Mark Zuckerberg and Eduardo Saverin taught me that.

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