What does it mean to be in love with someone? That shit’s not rhetorical, go ahead and answer it in your head. Now I’m sure things like “someone I would do anything for” or “someone I can’t live without” popped into your head. Now let’s take this idea of passionate love and put it into the average just getting to know you relationship. We’ve been dating for three months. We’ve argued, we’ve laughed, we’ve fucked without a condom. Good times. Do I love you? Probably, but am I in love with you? Probably not. And why should I be? What have you done in this relationship that would make me want to drop off the face of the earth if we broke up?  You think because you’re pretty, smart, and listen to me complain that I would literally take a bullet for you? You have to put in a lot more time for me to give up my great fucking life for yours. Every girl wants a man that would catch a grenade for her but most end up falling for men who wouldn’t pump gas for them. Why do fools fall in love? Because society has forced little girls to grow up with the idea that there is no such thing as a princess without a prince. The notion of “be Cinderella kept not Queen Elizabeth independent” has created a world filled with love sick women who foolishly give their hearts to men who aren’t worthy. Aww I want somebody to love me like that” is the calling card of lonely bitches. Women build up this image of true love in their head and then shove the first half way decent dude that gives her the title into the role of prince charming before he’s even proven himself. If I ask you why you love your boyfriend and you answer “because he’s my boo” you should be jackknifed powerbombed into a bed of thumb tacks. Define love before you go searching for it.


Men don’t like saying the L word. Why? Maybe they’re defensive and don’t want to come off like simps. False. That’s the Romantic Comedy reason. Oh Bradley Cooper’s character can’t even form a sentence with the word “Lo” because he’s been hurt in the past… but by the third act he will open up to Sandra Bullock and scream “I love you” in a room full of people! Yay! “Any man can be made to love us; we just have to get him to open up about the whores that broke his heart in the past”. TOTAL HOLLYWOOD BULLSHIT. While some guys are afraid to say the L word due to emotional walls, most of us don’t say it because we don’t mean it. Sure we can get some “he said he loved me” pussy out of the deal, but most dudes can get ass easily without dropping the L word and don’t have to put up with the drama of a woman who thinks you plan on marrying her one day. Let’s get down to the real reason these niggas aren’t rushing to say “I Love You” without throwing a “Yo” or a “Too” on the end of it.

He Hasn’t Told You Because He’s Not In Love With You

You’re cool but you’re not all that. Don’t get upset, be a realist and take in the possibility that while you may think you’re Lobster your boyfriend thinks of you as a cheddar bay biscuit. He loves his cheddar bay biscuit, he’ll get his fill, but he’s not going to stuff himself, i.e. commit to the cheddar biscuit because he’s saving room for the main course. There are three types of categories we break girls into. We have the biscuit, the chicken fingers, and the Lobster. It’s a possibility that the man you are in love with thinks of you as a fucking appetizer. We date these girls who have certain qualities that we like, but secretly we know for a fact that she’s not quite the type we want to have a serious future with. It may be due to something as shallow as looks but seeing that he’s already your man at the point of “say you love me, Rhett” he’s probably happy with you physically. The reason he’s placed you on the appetizer side of the menu has everything to do with personality. For whatever reason you are not the one, he’s known you were not the one since date number 3, but still, he pursued you. Why would that nigga be on your heels if he didn’t think you were special? Because chasing ass and getting ass are the number one and two pastimes for men, duh. We’re not out here wife hunting we’re pussy hunting. What nigga under the age of 40 says, “I’m looking for a girl that’s relationship orientated” I’m serious! Point his ass out because scientists need to study that level of simp’ness. The cool thing is appetizers can turn out to be all he needs, shit some guys settle for having Chicken Fingers as the main course because they know they’ll never be able to afford Lobster.  It’s fucked up but that’s how we think and as long as a Main Course type of guy sees you only as a fucking pre meal biscuit or artichoke dip he will never be in love with you.

This woman once told me that my Uncle put up with her because he was in love with her. In return my Uncle leaned out of his van, looked dead in her eyes, and said, “Bitch, I love you like I love a cat“. This was a grown ass woman left speechless because she knew what he said was true.  Life has proven that our exes weren’t the loves of our lives, women and men both look back and say, “Damn I was tripping, I swore I loved that person” you didn’t fall out of love, chances are if the relationship was six months or less that you never truly loved them to begin with. That initial feeling was merely a result of being caught in the moment and letting your feelings of like and lust betray you. We all love things. We love TV shows, we love co-workers, and we love our pets. I loved The Sopranos and the shit ended. Yeah I was sad, but it didn’t stop me from getting out of bed the next morning. Do I still think about Tony and Meadow? Every now and then, but I’m over the shit.  And that’s what separates the women we love from the women we’re in love with. If the chick we love breaks up with us we’ll be sad for a few days, we may even shed a tear, but as soon as another girl switches by, ass a jiggling, we’re on to the next one. HOWEVER, if a girl we are in love with breaks up with us, shit gets serious. We do shit we’d never do. The hardest men on the planet will crumble over real love. I’m not talking about calling and text messaging several times a day. I’m talking about showing up at her mama’s job (yes her mama’s job), nose running, talking about, “I love your daughter so much Miss Goodman, can you please talk to her for me“. I’m not talking about young shit like deactivating a Facebook account; fuck does that prove you’re too hurt to upload pictures? I’m talking about dropping out of college because the fear of bumping into the bitch in the cafeteria is too much to bear. Loving someone makes you frustrated, but being in love with someone will make you crazy—literally!

Fuck If He Says It, Does He Mean It

When I was first dating the girl who would turn into the woman I married. I told her ass after the first month that I loved her. We were sitting in my car outside her crib, and we had one of those moments. You know one of those connections where you think for a second, “Damn, this person gets me”. I was caught up in the moment and told her I loved her. This winch looked at me and said, “thank you”. Got out of the car and that was it. I felt like an idiot. How dare this bitch not tell me she loved me back, does she not know what that means for a man to utter those words? My wife’s an OG Spartan she saw through that bullshit. In her mind it was like why the fuck did I love her? What was so special between us at this point in the relationship that I would truly love her? She didn’t get open off that shit or let it stroke her ego, she brushed it off. Most people would instantly return the I Love You even though they don’t mean it. Her refusal to say, “I love you too” told me that she was legit, not some love happy appetizer looking to be swept off her feet. Those three small words can mean the world if said at the right time, but if they’re just thrown out into the air recklessly they don’t mean shit! If you want your boyfriend to say I love you I’m sure he’ll say it. Verbalization isn’t what you’re after; the feeling of being loved is the goal.


He Doesn’t Have To Say It You Should Know

 “Girl he brought me some Louboutins, so I know it’s real”
“He flying me down to South Beach, so I know it’s real”
“He said he want to get me pregnant, so I know it’s real”

That basic shit means nothing. If you need materialistic things to feel loved than you don’t know what love is. Fucking while it’s raining outside doesn’t make it “love making” and a nigga cumming inside of you doesn’t mean that you’re his one true love. Wanting to knock you up probably means the nigga just saw Cam Newton make bank and thinks that with his knowledge of the John Madden playbook and your stocky legs, his kid could probably make it in the league. If it’s real you don’t need a closet full of shit or a bun in the oven as proof.  Fellas, stop getting caught up with the great nut she made you bust, be self-aware and honest with how you really feel about her. Trust me, I know how hard it is to separate the love we have for the pussy from the love we have for the woman, but don’t drop the L word after sex. Saying I love you after sex is like getting a tattoo when you’re drunk, it may feel right at the moment but you’ll regret it in the  morning! Ladies if you do get him to say it, treat that shit like a counterfeit bill and hold it up to the light. Don’t automatically accept that he loves you and that you two are going to live happily ever after. Know in your heart that this man is down for you on a deeper level first. Has he cried in front of you, has he talked his mother to death about you, can you pick up his iPhone and scroll through his text messages without getting it snatched out of your hand? When a man loves you he doesn’t just trick bread or say it, he shows it. When you’re going through shit he’s there to listen. When he’s hurting he’s not afraid to cry in front of you. Stop obsessing with whether or not he tells you and concern yourself with how he’s treating you.  If you have to ask him if he loves you then that shit ain’t real.

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