Hoe” is the n-word of the female lexicon, everyone loves to say it, but no girl wants to claim it. If none of these women are Hoes then who the hell are these Hoes we all talk about? The notion of being a Hoe has become so subjective that any female can make an excuse as to why she did something hoeish by putting “don’t judge me, but…” at the beginning of a Hoetivity. As if admission that you did something whorish this one time exempts you from that label. The truth of the matter is the term “Hoe” isn’t as cut and dry as before. Hoevolution has created countless variations of Hoes: Weekend Hoe, Spring Break Hoe, Off Campus Only Hoe, My Kid Needs Pampers Hoe, Baby We Don’t Need A Prenup Hoe, Dyke For The Right Price Hoe, etc… Today’s Hoe is much smarter than the traditional “Oh You Balling!!! Hoe” that would slide off with you because you have a Gucci Belt. With so many crafty Hoes it has become harder to spot Hoes these days and worse, it makes Hoes ignorant to the fact that they are indeed Hoes. It’s like that movie Salt where Angelina Jolie didn’t know she was a sleeper agent until her training kicked in. Right now your best friend or even your wifey could be a Sleeper Hoe who won’t activate until you put a celebrity in her face.

I AM NOT A RUSSIAN SPY!

Guys who say “bitches ain’t shit” or “all women are Hoes” are bitter because they don’t know how to spot these 21st century Hoes, as a result they blindly label all women as untrustworthy. Don’t blame all women because your dumb ass was paying rent for a girl who was in love with another dude. If you’re going to play Blackjack learn to count cards or you’re a sucker. If you’re going to chase women learn to tell the good girls from the ones with an objective, it’s that simple. We’re all conscious that waiters at restaurants are doing everything in their power to make us give them more money. From the dude who fucks up an order on purpose so he can hook you up with free shit and seem like a hero to the Hooters girl who rubs your shoulder every time she comes to check on how you’re doing, waiters are transparent in their pursuit of a few more dollars. So too are Hoes if you learn how to read them right.

Ladies, Don’t Let These Hoes Out Swag You

Where can you find all the good, successful, educated men? They’re right there waiting for you to talk to them, but you don’t like making the first move so you let them come and go. Hoes don’t have that problem. Hoes know that a closed mouth won’t get feed so they make it their business to keep their mouths open. If a Hoe sees a guy who looks like he may be doing it big, she’s going to come over and introduce herself. She can be the baddest chick in the lounge but she’s not playing the wall flower game. She has no problem with walking over and making small talk. Waiting for a sign doesn’t exist in her world because every man is an opportunity to win. That kind of mentality may be fucked up when it comes to using people, but when you’re not a Hoe and you’re looking for friendship not a come up, that mentality will change your life. Let’s face it, when most guys get to a certain level of success they no longer feel the need to put themselves out their like a thirsty nigga would and holla at girls who are across the room. You and a Hoe are both sitting by the bar, you have the same type of outfit on, and you’re even cuter than she is. But she’s not glued to her seat. As soon as she catches a guy looking her way she’s up out of her chair, ready to chat him up. You can sit, roll your eyes, and call her hungry but the reality is you chose to let opportunity pass you by, she took it. Hoes 1 Ladies 0.

Fellas, Tame Your Inner Trick

It’s not tricking if you got it. Yes it is, but there are two types of tricks, those who are conscious of it and those who are ignorant. You have a dude like Weezy who could fly a girl he likes down to Miami for the weekend and let her go shopping between fuck sessions. He’s not paying for the pussy, he doesn’t have to do all of this to fuck, he’s tricking because it’s fun. That’s self-aware tricking. Then there are the ignorant tricks. We all know that lame that swears up and down that he has more bitches after him than J Cole, but in actuality he’s coming out of pocket just for company. Mr. ignorant trick couldn’t get a top shelf chick to let him sniff her panties unless he flew her out to Vegas. “We All Pay For It Anyway” is how coons justify tricking. Who counts up receipts at the end of a date? What fucking weirdo is keeping a flow chart of how much he’s investing in the pussy thus far? Is there a budget amount for each girl? Do you tell Toya that she can’t order dessert because she’s maxed out the set amount of money you were willing to spend before fucking? “Waiter, I’ll take the check, this is the fourth date and I haven’t fucked yet. Sorry baby, but I’m at $993 and I’ve yet to calculate the gas money from this restaurant to your house so we will not be ordering that cheesecake”. It’s not that serious! There is nothing wrong with showing her a good time, but if you’re spending just to get her to fuck you; you’ve already lost the battle. A dumb hoe might fuck you for a couple of dollars but when you come across a smart hoe she will milk you for everything you have under the pretense that she’s your boo.

The Girlfriend Experience is not contained to $500 an hour whores. Be aware that a Hoe will play the nice girl game just to get to girlfriend status and then suck you dry. One of my homegirls was over mom’s crib with me back in the day and we wanted to order a pizza. She called her boyfriend and told him to put it on his card and send it there. On the phone he started talking sweet shit; she held it up so I could hear. We’re in there laughing our ass off as he tries to talk all smooth. She gets back on the phone rolling her eyes telling him what he wanted to hear. She hadn’t even had sex with this guy yet, honest to god she even made this fool drop her off at another dude’s crib saying it was her aunt’s house, smashed the broke nigga she liked, and got picked back up by her trick ass boyfriend. I mean she was only getting pizza, clothes, and rides around Baltimore from the nigga but it was amazing how he couldn’t see through the fact that she was selling him the Girlfriend Experience. Hoes 1 Lames 0

Ladies, Stop Talking About Hoes

If they did a poll on the top conversations women have I bet a stack that females talk more about other females they deem Hoes than they talk about any other topic. The Hoes they’re talking about aren’t chicks they meet in passing, it’s usually a friend. Why the hell are you friends with a bitch that you constantly dog out? I don’t care if you’re work associates, classmates, or cousins who don’t get along, in order for you to know the Hoe shit she’s doing you have to be in communication with her. If she lives a lifestyle you don’t approve of, stop dealing with her ass. Stop checking up on Hoes, asking her what she did last weekend, cross checking her story with your homeboy who was at the club, and examining her Facebook updates. Is your life that boring that you have to run home every day and talk with your bff for hours about what so and so is doing? When I watch Basketball Wives I’m blown away by the amount of mouth time Draya gets, it’s not edited that way, that’s how real life can be too. I’ve been around enough women to hear the shit talking and phoniness that comes along with “friendships”. It is what it is, but realize that every time you say her name, she’s winning. Without that Hoe in your life you would be miserable. The funny thing is, Hoes know you can’t keep their names out of your mouth, and it fuels them to do more shocking shit. She’s living her life; you’re talking about her life. Who’s more important? Hoes 2 Ladies 0.

Fellas, Check Her Hoefax Report

How do you know if a Hoe is a Hoe if the Hoe doesn’t even know she’s a Hoe? Hoe test yourself. When you talk to a woman no matter how un-Hoe-like she may appear, ask one simple question. Why is she talking to me? “cus I look good” isn’t a proper answer because every dude thinks he’s the shit. How did you present yourself to her… who hollered at who… is she listening to you or dissecting you? When it comes to sex there is no such thing as “fucking like a hoe” you cannot tell by the way she rides it or takes back shots that she’s a hoe, a freak maybe, but not a hoe. Instead of trying to guess, talk to her and get to know who she really is. In our pursuit of women we talk to them but we don’t really talk to them. Lift your eyes from the cleavage and see what makes her tick, ask about her Daddy, her Moms, her ex-boyfriends, her best girlfriends, you can expose any hoe with the right line of questioning. You can’t save Hoes but you can save yourself from Hoes if you learn to understand them.

Verbal Intercourse

The difference between a good stripper and a phenomenal stripper has nothing to do with the way she climbs the pole or claps her ass. It’s conversation. The tricks are going to make it rain regardless, it’s a show, a front; it has nothing to do with the girl on stage. You’re not going to get peacock niggas who are willing to throw stacks in the air every night. The real working girls know that private dances are where you come up on a slow Tuesday. She walks the bar after her set and initiates conversation. The bullshit strippers don’t say much except, “you wanna dance” real creative Ciroc Minaj but no, I’ll keep my $20 in my pocket. The professional dancers spark a conversation, they make it personal, and then they politely ask if you want to continue the conversation while she dances for you in the back room. It’s a wrap. Every nigga in the club knows he’s being worked, but if her conversation is good the stingy trick doesn’t mind dropping money he didn’t plan to spend because this fantasy of “wow, she’s cool and seems to genuinely like me” creeps into his head. You can’t make “conversation” without “con”. The best Hoes have developed this technique in everyday life. It’s one thing to get up out of your seat and approach a man; it’s another to keep his attention. I hate a boring woman as much as Lil Wayne hates a “shy bitch”, if you’re going to sit in front of a man that’s a catch and mumble on about the weather and where he’s from for an awkward ten minutes, it’s a good chance he’s put you in the “bye bitch” pile not the “I have to have this bitch” pile. I don’t care if you’re a PHD that’s well read; don’t assume you have good conversational skills. Men like to talk about certain shit, that’s why guys can get together and become best friends after 15 minutes, we generally love the same things. I don’t care if the Hoe you’re competing with is an idiot who never graduated high school, if she’s proficient about the things men like to babble on about then she’s going to be more successful than the pretty nerd who thinks Michael Jordan still hoops.

I know a lot about Hoes because most of my female friends throughout the years have been (a few still are) opportunistic undercover Hoes. I watched them operate and I listened to them tell me their game. I never judged them, I appreciated them because they helped me Hoe proof myself at an early age. I have no sympathy for dudes who get played by Hoes because the warning signs are usually there, its male hubris that “she likes me because I’m that nigga” that leads to them getting hurt. I want all my young cats that are coming up in the game to stop falling over yourselves every time a female with a big ass and colored contacts smiles at you. Check the ego at the door and be open to the possibility that she may be feeling you for what you have not who you are.

For the ladies be aware that there will always be a world full of Hoes. I don’t care how much you criticize dudes who fuck with Hoes and shake your head at the fact that even the “good ones” prefer to talk to loose women, this hoepidemic will not stop. Hoes Be Wining. Of course they do because they aren’t afraid to go after what they want. Stop acting like victims and start acting like Spartans. Sucking your teeth and acting disgusted every time a Hoe steals the spotlight, is akin to waving the white flag that you can’t compete. Not only can you compete with those freaks, you can win on an entirely new level. No matter if he’s Floyd Mayweather or a dude who flips real estate, he doesn’t want these Hoes. Every successful man would love to meet a nice woman who doesn’t have an ulterior motive or an active coochie, but they rarely meet them because a lot of upstanding Ladies don’t give chase the way Hoes do. Talking to a guy first doesn’t make you look desperate; researching topics that will spark a man’s conversation doesn’t make you fake. In order to win you have to be willing to play the game first.

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