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“Hoe” is the n-word of the female lexicon, everyone loves to say it, but no girl wants to claim it. If none of these women are Hoes then who the hell are these Hoes we all talk about? The notion of being a Hoe has become so subjective that any female can make an excuse as to why she did something hoeish by putting “don’t judge me, but…” at the beginning of a Hoetivity. As if admission that you did something whorish this one time exempts you from that label. The truth of the matter is the term “Hoe” isn’t as cut and dry as before. Hoevolution has created countless variations of Hoes: Weekend Hoe, Spring Break Hoe, Off Campus Only Hoe, My Kid Needs Pampers Hoe, Baby We Don’t Need A Prenup Hoe, Dyke For The Right Price Hoe, etc… Today’s Hoe is much smarter than the traditional “Oh You Balling!!! Hoe” that would slide off with you because you have a Gucci Belt. With so many crafty Hoes it has become harder to spot Hoes these days and worse, it makes Hoes ignorant to the fact that they are indeed Hoes. It’s like that movie Salt where Angelina Jolie didn’t know she was a sleeper agent until her training kicked in. Right now your best friend or even your wifey could be a Sleeper Hoe who won’t activate until you put a celebrity in her face.

I AM NOT A RUSSIAN SPY!

Guys who say “bitches ain’t shit” or “all women are Hoes” are bitter because they don’t know how to spot these 21st century Hoes, as a result they blindly label all women as untrustworthy. Don’t blame all women because your dumb ass was paying rent for a girl who was in love with another dude. If you’re going to play Blackjack learn to count cards or you’re a sucker. If you’re going to chase women learn to tell the good girls from the ones with an objective, it’s that simple. We’re all conscious that waiters at restaurants are doing everything in their power to make us give them more money. From the dude who fucks up an order on purpose so he can hook you up with free shit and seem like a hero to the Hooters...

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