When a guy sees a girl he finds attractive he thinks, “She could get it”. When a girl sees a guy she finds attractive she thinks, “He could get it”. Despite these generic gender roles we get saddled with we’re all horny ass animals that sexualize each other in the comfort of our own minds. While a man will give in and aim for sex sex sex, women are much more hesitant to give into that “I just want to fuck” gene. Females have developed a survival instinct somewhere between the days of the Caveman and now to combat men who just want to hit and split. “He could get it…” is now followed by “…if he treats me right, commits to me, and shows me he’s sincere in his feelings towards me”. That mentally had to evolve from hundreds of years of being tooted and booted. Women get just as horny as men do but most women are obsessed with titles over nuts. Has a man ever put his dick back in his pants because the girl wouldn’t commit to him? NO! Having sex doesn’t need to come with relationship validation. We’re still going to fuck because Ownership/Title/Status isn’t mandatory. However, a man can’t live off of sex alone; we want the total package of great sex/bomb personality that will make us become emotionally invested. Not every guy is stuck in player mode. Most go in hoping the latest girl is that total package. But somewhere between the first cupcaking phone call through the first time he sees her naked his feelings usually change and it’s already been decided that this girl isn’t the total package after all.
“When I was with Vivica, I thought I was onto something/ But then the next week, nah man it was nothing’” – Curtis Jackson
The #1 question I get has to do with “Why did he change after we had sex”. I maintain that a man never truly knows how he feels about a woman until he has sex with her. Our dicks are like that Black Spiderman suite, it’s alive and whispering what we want to hear, “We think this girl may be the one, she doesn’t nag as much as our last one, Peter” then once the mission is complete, the voice goes silent… and we’re left cuddling with a girl who’s kind of annoying in retrospect. But there are more layers to why you didn’t make the cut, so I asked three of my homies, guys who are known to hit it and quit it on the regular, the top things that annoyed them about girls who they were initially feeling. From their lists and my own pet peeves, I pulled out a few main reasons why we bail after we get the ass.
She Forced Me To Be Exclusive
Don’t blackmail him into being with you! Saying shit like, “I don’t do those things unless we’re exclusive,” “So where is this going ?!*head cock*” is going to bring out the super asshole. If you don’t have sex with guys who aren’t your boyfriend, that’s honorable, but have a legit reason to make him your man other than the fact that you had sex. He met you a month ago why the fuck are you rushing to be in a relationship with him? You don’t know him well enough to really want to be his girl, you just want to get your fuck on and hide behind the shield of “monogamy”. We have more respect for a chick who fucks us after a week than the girl who sells her pussy for a title. And that’s exactly what you’re doing— Ebaying your pussy hoping a nigga hits BUY IT NOW by saying “we go together”. Entering a relationship is a huge decision, you’re heart and coochie are telling you he’s the one, but stop cheesing for a second and listen to what your brain has to say. Why do you like this guy so much? Because he’s nice to you? Bullshit. Who isn’t nice to a girl they’re trying to smash? You’ve been seeing him for a matter of weeks; you don’t truly know that man. Listen to your brain, it’s not love it’s lust. We’ve all been teenagers, those butterflies are not an indication of true blue love.
Let’s go back to nature and being horny ass animals instinctively. You want to be in a relationship with him because you want to have sex just as bad as he does. You dare not give in to your urges without a title because that would make you look like a freak. The disconnect happens when you push too hard for a premature relationship. To continuously beat him over the head with questions about “what are we” gets annoying real fast. By the second month we’re sick of getting hand jobs and head so we tell you what you want to hear. “yeah yeah yeah I’m ready to be with you, we’re exclusive”. That’s not winning. Exclusive is just a word until he proves it. But you’re not going to make him prove it, you’re going to take his word for it, open your legs the same week (if not day) he gives you the title and get that dick that you’ve waited 68 days to sample. What’s he going to do after that nut? Figure out an exit strategy because he spent 20 days really liking you and the last 48 days resenting the fact that you kept pressuring him to be in a relationship. You both wanted to fuck, so you both got what you wanted. The only difference is you went about it in a way that made you seem “classy” yet rubbed him the wrong way in the process. Waiting a month to fuck doesn’t make you less of a slut, it just masks your true intentions so you can sleep better at night. You think your girlfriends won’t talk shit because “technically” he was your man when it happened? Those women aren’t dumb, you tried to lock down an everyday dick with a forced commitment and it backfired. Your boo dumped you two weeks after smashing for the first time, a blind man can see you sold your ass for a status update. Ladies please stop lying to yourselves. If you want to have sex, HAVE SEX. If you want a relationship and not just the physical let it happen naturally. I don’t spend the night unless we’re together. I don’t cook for you unless we’re together— Blackmail much? If you keep harping on “unless we’re together” any guy with half a brain is going to tell you what you want to hear in order to get the benefits, then run after he’s had his fill. Men are territorial, if he wants you to be his exclusively he will shove his flag on top of you and claim that land. There is no need to continuously drop hints or bag a man to commit, carry yourself like you can take your talents elsewhere and watch how fast his jealous ass brings up “we’re together right?” If it gets to a point where you’ve been dating for three months and he hasn’t tried to claim you as his, he doesn’t think you’re the total package. Oh well, there’s more where he came from.
She Had Shy Pussy
She lays on her back half moaning while he shifts into 3rd gear attempting to generate more of a response. He sucks on her nipple, she giggles sensually as if she’s feeling it, but she’s not grunting, “FUCK YES” like Keisha use to. By the time he cums he’s tried at least three of his best tricks that have been known to make other girls climb the walls, but shorty never moves past a raspy, “yea baby“. She thinks they had great sex. He thought it was good, but not worth the time or the effort. He didn’t spend 9 weeks chasing her to end up with Golf Clap Pussy, after all that flirting and shit talking he expected Overtime Field Goal Pussy. Men need to feel that we’re doing our jobs. That same girl who sat there and took that dick isn’t boring in real life. She likes to talk nasty, she likes to be choked, she knows the exact hip motion it takes for her to cum, but she played it cool because she didn’t want to be looked at as a hoe the first time he hit. How many times do I have to say this, unless you’re swallowing seamen, licking ass, and asking for money to be left on the dresser we’re not going to think you’re a freak hoe. We’ve all had sex with girl who know how to get it crackn’ and those who make us want to check ESPN while we’re up in it, you don’t want to end up the latter. Acting shy in the bed isn’t fooling him, we don’t expect you to be a virgin, so unleash the hounds. If he is a guy with other options that first time may just be your last.
She Got A Big… Ego
You shouldn’t have to say “I’m not like the rest of these girls“, you should walk like it, talk like it, and make a dude open his mouth first to proclaim you’re not the usual. Some girls have inner confidence where they can own any room they step in, carry a conversation with anyone, and generally make any man want to know more about her. Then there are Bassicas who make up for lack of inner strength by trying to convince everyone around them that she’s special. “Ask about me, I’ve been getting Gucci bags since 12th grade, I ain’t like the rest of these hoes“. Basic Bitches love to run down their nigga resume of who brought her what or who took her where. We don’t care! Here’s a secret that every guy learns early on. Girls love to ask why you’re feeling them and what you like about them, it’s a part of the interview process. The perfect answer is: You’re not like the rest of the girl’s I’ve gone out with. There’s something about you. I’ve said a variation of that line more times than Olivia’s failed at music, and even if a girl greeted it with a skeptical “whatever nigga” that shit sunk in. Personally, I didn’t know this Ego thing was a big problem but two of my boys who don’t even travel in the same circles commented about cockiness being the number one thing that makes them not want to take her seriously. Constantly talking about how much better you are than this girl or that girl is superfluous, if a guy is dating you he thinks you’re hot, no need to down other women who walk by or bring up past instances to prove you’re a rare breed. If you have to convince me that you’re the shit, then you’re not the shit. My boy took this chick to a restaurant and parked at a meter down the street. She made an issue about him not pulling up to valet and said something along the lines of, “Guys I see can afford to valet” and waited for him to turn the car back on. His dumb ass did it. After that night he said he made his mind up to try harder than usual to win her over just so he could have the satisfaction of ignoring her phone calls after he got it. He hit a few weeks later and he did just that. That one moment pissed him off so bad that sex became about revenge, and to this day she probably doesn’t even know that was the turning point in their relationship, her ego probably brainwashed her into believing she was just too much woman for him. Yeah, okay. Confidence is sexy, conceit is a turn off.
She Gave Me Power
If he doesn’t stick around after he hit, that means you didn’t show him enough leading up to the sex to convince him you were compatible. But why were you trying to sell him on you in the first place? I got a sense that my homies all dealt with a certain type of woman—the submissive hoe, the basic bitch, the thirsty ass relationship girl who had ZERO options. I don’t care where you’re at, reach down and check between your legs right now. If you have a vagina, then you have the power. Why would Wonder Woman give up her golden lasso and allow a mortal man to tie her up? Stop asking these niggas permission, walking on eggshells until he decides you’re good enough. If you want sex you can hit and run too. If you want a boy toy, you can lay down the rules and make him your jumpoff. If you want the guy you’re dating to be yours then there are countless things, some which I’ve written about before, that you can do to make him delete the number of every woman in his phone book and declare, “you are mine”. Stop being afraid to dictate the pace, you can show a nigga better than you can tell him, so take control and lead it in the direction you want the relationship to go in. Stop acting pressed about being in a relationship, drip with confidence, and have sex on your terms, not his. Abuse your pussy power and you won’t have to worry about if he’s going to call you the next day, he’ll still be laid up under you the next morning.