Brotherhood isn’t a secret society, it’s an in your face movement that dictates that we make the rules, earn the most money, and pat each other on the back because we have dicks. Race, Nationality, Wealth are dividers at time, but it’s been my experience no matter what city I was in, regardless of skin color, men in general looked out for me with a nod and a wink. How can Fraternity be “FOR LIFE” while Sorority falls victim to “FOR AS LONG AS THAT BITCH DOESN’T LOOK AT ME SIDEWAYS”? There’s a female cold war going on and for the life of me I can’t understand why women, with all of their innate logic and compassion, battle each other with smiles. The only thing more powerful than Sisterhood is Jealousy. Girl A befriends Girl B because she thinks she’s cool, right? Apparently that’s not always the case. I once read that sometimes Girl A befriends Girl B so she can compete. Girl B becomes the standard which Girl A measures herself against. Who wears the best clothes out to the club? Who attracts the more successful men? Who’s going to get married first? And the list goes on… There is no way to tell if you are the baddest on the planet, but you can easily cross check your life with those of your friends to see if you are the hottest, the smartest, and most successful out of the bunch. It’s a battle that never really ends, old ladies in retirement homes are still popping shit about whose grandchild comes to visit more. Best friends/bitter rivals. It sounds like some bizzaro Earth, but this Mean Girls/Frenemy shit goes on in the high schools, the universities, and in the professional working world every day. No woman will EVER admit that she’s jealous of another woman or that she competes because of insecurities; however every girl reading this has a story to tell of a girl who was once a friend, or maybe still is a friend, who swagger jacked or tried to outdo her. I’m optimistic, while I’m sure there are a lot of Regina George type chicks who are out to compete, I also think there are a lot of good woman who do value friendship and believe in sisterhood.

“THERE’S A SIDE TO YOU THAT I NEVER KNEW, NEVER KNEW”

When did this fakeness start? Does the girl vs. girl resentment start on the first day of preschool? One girl comes to class with the fly ass silver barrettes in her hair shitting on the chicks with the cheap plastic ones and at that moment a voice says “That bitch thinks she’s cute, I don’t like that“. It’s totally fine not to like someone, the thing that’s foul is to proclaim your dislike one second then carry on a conversation with her the next. This isn’t just something “mean girls” do, It seems that most females regardless of their background have been guilty of being phony towards another female at some point in her life. Damn near all of the girls I’ve messed with have talked on the phone about one thing with their girlfriends: The Girls They Don’t Like… but are in the crew. I’m sure most of the fellas reading this can cosign that we as men are privy to the type of pillow talk girl bashing that would shatter friendships. Men gossip too, but generally it’s not secretive, if my boy tells me about some dumb thing Kevin did, the next week I’m going to pull Kevin’s card about it, because I don’t want to see my nigga play himself. Real men don’t get off on laughing behind each other’s back we support those in the circle. If we have malicious things to say about each other than that’s a friendship that has to be rectified with a sit down or come to an end point blank. If I don’t fuck with slim there is no going to the club, there is no calling to see what’s good in his world, he doesn’t exist. Cubic Zirconia bitches operate like an episode of Bad Girls Club. The audience gets to see them bond, promise they’ll have each others back… then we cut to the confessional where that same girl is calling her new friend in the house a dirty slut. That behavior wasn’t created for TV. That same shit happens in real life, only the confessional isn’t a room with a camera, it’s another friend who she thinks can keep her mouth closed (she can’t). “Girl, let me tell you what Brianna, said about you last night...” I bring this up because the fake bitch movement is at an all-time high. I’ve gotten emails from girls who had friends fuck their man, ruin their credit, and break their hearts in ways a man never could. I can’t be mad at the Queen Bees who exploit women, because unlike the victim she’s aware that she’s being an opportunist, she’s hustling with her eyes wide open. I’m disappointed in the women who blindly befriend these hoes and ignore the warning signs that she’s out for self. The key is to get the CZ bitches out of your life and fill your circle with real women who will hold you down, have your back, and be there because she cares about you, not what you can do for her.

“ALL THE THINGS YOU SAID THEY WERE NEVER TRUE, NEVER TRUE”

Jealousy Signs

How does your girlfriend react when you buy something new? Is she quick to shoot it down, or chime in with, “oh I had those same heels… last season“? Phoni Braxtons love to steal the thunder; if you got it she had it– allegedly. She’ll tell you that you look fat in something or that Rihanna ’06 hairstyle is still hot, just to keep you from stunting on her. Another reaction to check for is when it comes to men. When you start dating a new guy is she happy for you or is it always “Be careful with guys like him“? What kind of “guys” is she talking about? You told her two things about that man, his occupation and his astrological sign and she’s already telling you he ain’t shit. C’mon son. Now either she really hates Capricorns or she doesn’t want to see you with someone. Lonely chicks feed off other lonely chicks. Even if she’s in a relationship, she’s probably still lonely because her man doesn’t pay her any damn mind. Those rapid fire text messages you exchange are the highlight of her day, of course she doesn’t want some dude coming in-between that.  However, if you’re the type of chick who bring homes strays all the time then yeah, a good friend is right to question your fast ass relationship because you’re a bum magnet. If that’s not the case then take notes on her behavior as the relationship grows. If Renee is telling you how sexy this guy at her job is or how random niggas are suddenly telling her they like you, then she’s looking to fuck up your relationship by introducing a sabotage dick. A real friend wouldn’t promote cheating, even if she does have a problem with your man. If a girl truly has your back and your front then she will keep any beef she has with you between A and B. The last thing a friend should do is share an opinion with the sidekick worker Bee who would love to see yall friendship end so she can slide into the bff role. There may not be Single White Female level signs, but if you find yourself questioning her motives, more than likely the bitch is a backstabber. Don’t turn a blind eye because you’re afraid to lose a friend. Check that CZ behavior or cut her off completely. There is absolutely no reason to keep a fake bitch on your team… well unless you’re the Boss Bitch who’s pimping her.

Does She Jump Ship For Dick

When you enter into a new relationship, things change. You want to give the proper attention to the new person in your life, so you may not kick it with the crew as much as you use to. However a real friend will not go completely MIA. Phoni Braxton was blowing up your phone three times a day, but as soon as she got a new dick slapped in her face, it took two days just to return a “what you doing” text. This isn’t about her falling in love, this is about showing her true colors. When a new guy or even a new girl comes into the picture you realize how much you mean to that person. It’s ironic how a girl will bottom bitch her best friend the same way a nigga bottom bitched her in the past. She needed you when she was broke and bored but now that she has a man and a tax refund check she doesn’t have time to listen to you talk about your problems. You’re forced to sit on the bench until she finally calls you with, “Girl, let me tell you about what this trifling nigga did“. Now Fakenstein needs your support and wants your advice. Go ahead and let her cry those eyes out and thank you for being her best friend, I’m sure it’ll be all good… until the next new dick falls in her mouth.

 

Sidekick Test

Girls pimp other girls. It’s nothing new, but we never talk about this. There are women who can command car rides, get never repay payday loans, borrow hand bags for life, and even prostitute their weaker girlfriends to their homeboys with a snap of a finger. As friends you look out for each other, but there’s a thin line between being supportive and being exploited. I remember wanting to take my homegirl’s friend out on a date, so I asked my friend about it first. This chick tells me, “Don’t waste your money taking her out, I’ll tell her to fuck you“. This girl was supposed to be her road dog, they were together five days out of the week, but at the turn of the dime she feed her to the wolves. Personally I love alpha females who are so charismatic that other girls sell their soul for the right to be in their inner circle. Some may think it’s fake but those girls are being true to their nature. The wolf is clearly a wolf, you’re the thirsty ass who dressed her up like a sheep then cried victim when she brought the claws out. What’s fake is to follow behind someone who’s clearly using you because you want their approval. You’re chasing behind an Alpha, idolizing her, but she thinks of you like a court jester, that pathetic chick they all can laugh about over wine. There will always be Queen Bees and Worker Bees, not all women are created equally, but this isn’t a caste system, you can rise up the ranks. I want every woman reading this to evaluate the relationship she has with her circle of friend and determine where she falls. Are you the first phone call when shit goes down, or are you the one they conference in?  Do you get invites to all of the hang outs or do you get hit with the bullshit “Girl, I didn’t think it would be your crowd“. Of course 10 out of 10 ladies are going to claim she’s a boss or say some politically correct bullshit like, “we’re all equals” but those odds don’t add up. You don’t have to admit it to me, or anyone else, so long as you know where you stand. If you’re near the bottom it’s time to rise up and be on equal footing with that Queen or do what Kim Kardashian did with Paris Hilton, separate from the hive and find your own Worker Bees to rule over.

“ALL THE GAMES YOU PLAY YOU WOULD ALWAYS WIN, ALWAYS WIN”

Are You The Fake One

When you dare to call a girl out on her hypocrisy one of the many dumb ass answers to explain why she’s still friends with a girl she can’t stand is, “Keep your friends close and enemies even closer” …um you’re not in the Mafia sweetie, there is no need for counterintelligence. You think that once they stop talking to you they start talking about you? Hell no, you’ve been the topic of conversation. That’s what fake bitches do, use inside information against you to the point where if you do attempt to leave the pack, they have enough dirt to make you a social pariah. Why the fuck would you need your enemies doing your hair, drinking with you in the club, and helping you pick out shoes? None of that is going to prepare you for the day she throws you under the bus. Spewing cliché sayings that you don’t truly understands is almost as fake as you hanging out with your frenemy every weekend. I once wrote that a part of the Woman Code is to recognize that any friend could turn on you at any minute like a Terminator. But what happens when you’re the T-1000?  Some girls spend so much time obsessing over all the fake bitches out to harm them that they seldom realize that fighting fakeness with fakeness turns them into the very thing they’re raging against.If she wanna act phony, I can do it right along with her” how fucking old are you? If this two-faced behavior is going to stop then women need to be honest with each other and admit when they have an issue with one another. Don’t trash her behind her back, say it to her face. If you’re having thoughts that “this bitch thinks she’s cute” then that means the bitch is cute, accept that shit. If she crosses you, don’t be passive, let her know you don’t play that shit. The solution isn’t “fuck these bitches” that’s the very reason womankind is so fractured now. Instead of isolating yourself or only being friends with guys, hold yourself and the females you associate with up to a higher standard of loyalty. It’s time to end this cold war and get your circle tight. Mrs. Gorbachev, tear down this fake ass wall.

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