There is one thing I find extremely ironic, and that’s the bashing of black men by a number of black women. We’ve all heard the phrase “Niggas ain’t shit” it’s not being uttered by Mitt Romney’s campaign manager; it’s being said loud and publicly by our own women. Black men are lazy weed smoking video game playing white girl lusting rap fantasy having sneaker-obsessed cheaters that think the world owes them for slavery. Um okay. If Blacks are the lease desirable men in the United States, why do black women continue to date them, love them, fuck them with no condoms, and cry over them? This entire “ain’t shit” attitude doesn’t come from all black women. It comes from a loud minority, who for various reasons, are constant Bum Magnets. It’s the frustration from those women that has created this big sweeping generalization. If enough women are clinging to these beliefs, wouldn’t that make it true? Not at all. Dating and relationships are like Yelp reviews, rarely do you see people chime in when everything is great, it’s only when they are done wrong that they voice their opinions. From an entertainment standpoint, I enjoy “ain’t shit” jokes about lazy, bad credit having black men. I never take offense because I’m a young black successful man who treats his woman like the goddess she is. However, just like I feel a need to stand up for black women, I feel a need to stand up for my brothers out here who don’t get a fare shake because of this stigma. For every bum nigga that would rather live off his baby mama, play Xbox, and try to fuck your homegirl when you’re not around, there are ten more brothers who are about their business.

Right now, a few black men are reading and think they know the reason for this problem. They believe black women are angry or bitter so they look for ways to slander the brotherhood. Wrong! Both men and women love to play the victim card and that young shit is what keeps the sexes divided. I don’t think black women are bitter, I think they’re disappointed. Step into the stilettos of a black girl for a second, one who’s been screwed over by her dream chocolate prince for whatever the reason. She looks over at Becky and Ted, and thinks, “Damn white men have so much respect for their women… holy shit he’s paying for dinner… He’s way better than Malik“. I feel where she’s coming from but let’s not forget that the grass is always greener on the other side. Why do Black Men Lie So Much. Why Do Black Men Cheat? Why is it a race thing? Your only window into white men must be Full House, because real life white men aren’t all storybook. There are white women who have been crushed just as many times as black women, but they rarely make it a race thing, they flip their hair and proclaim, “God Amber, guys are such dicks, I’m so going lesbian!” They view it as a man thing, not a color thing. I suggest googling the legendary Tucker Max before you get on that Uncle Ruckus express and start praising how good white men treat women. I know a few white slackers who come from upper middle class homes but still would rather hit the bong and skateboard than work. Don’t think that white guys don’t dodge child support too and that Don Draper fucking secretaries is just ficition. The point is, there are good and bad apples in every bunch and men of all races have huge portions of “ain’t shit” representatives.

Let’s play devil’s advocate. You can name a dozen black men who ain’t shit and maybe two guys who are wonderful… but they’re married. You’ve proved your point that quality black men are the minority. Wrong again. The real question becomes, if you’re a woman and the “ain’t shit” brothers are the only ones you’re coming in contact with– where the fuck do you hang at? If you know guys from a certain background are wolves, then why fraternize with those types over and over again? Why are you segregating by only dating black men in the first place? Other races are out here looking for love too. Oh white guys don’t approach you and you don’t approach them because you don’t know what to talk about? He’s Caucasian, not an alien, all men talk about the same dumb shit and want the same wet thing. Out of all the races, I truly believe that black women are the most loyal to their own, and that’s why I find the complaints so ironic. Maybe it’s the cultural difference or maybe it’s our dicks, who knows. Since black women are going to keep dating black men despite their beef, there needs to be an understanding of why you’re not getting the best of the race. As far as cheating, lying, chasing new pussy, those things aren’t racially unique. All men have dicks, therefore all men are capable of doing foul shit. But there are a few things exclusive to Black on Black dating that we need to touch on.

Why Do I Keep Meeting Broke Niggas?

An email I get frequently has to do with women who have fallen in love with a man who does everything right… except work. The love of their life would be perfect if he had a higher paying job or could get his business off the ground. Let’s keep it all the way real, black people tend to live in segregated pockets of the city, party within those same pockets, and date within those same pockets. If you’re always meeting broke niggas then you’re in places broke niggas “habitate”. So why are you on their turf?

A) You’re broke your damn self and go to the places around the way you’re accustomed to.

B.) You belong to a higher class but like to step out of your element and go to ratchet places because they feel more exciting.

I’m in Antarctica, why do I keep meeting penguins… it’s such a mystery. You know damn well when you see three liquor stores and two churches on the same block that you’ve entered Broke Nigga Ville. If you fish in the sewer, you can’t complain about not catching salmon. Basic men do not travel more than ten miles from where they rest. If you live in the nice townhouses two miles from the projects and keep seeing a guy at McDonalds that you think is cute—chances are he’s from those projects. If he’s at the same local happy hour bar as the WIC ratchets rocking a Rolex, common sense should tell you it’s too good to be true. If he’s getting rides instead of getting gas, you shouldn’t even have put his number in your phone. Take off your Basic Bifocals and stop thinking because the nigga has on Jordans and a pristine fitted hat, that he drove down from his mansion to shop at the local EBT supermarket and happened to bump into you. He’s from up the block just like you.

I’m not a gold digger, I just look for how he treats me“, then why are you complaining about attracting broke niggas if you don’t care about his income? Don’t lie to yourself. No one is going to judge you for wanting a man who’s out of the struggle. The Vagina League is not going to revoke your membership for choosing the guy with the job over the guy with the pretty eyes. If you’re young, you can grow with a nigga, so finances aren’t important. When you’re an older woman with a degree, a growing job, and looking to stack money to get out of the hood, why the fuck would you date from the same pool of men as the project chicks? I love when women say dumb shit like, “Why can’t I find a rich man?” Because rich men don’t hang where you hang. That’s not a call for you and your friends to scrape up $600 for a bottle in VIP, that’s only going to attract more fronting ass niggas. The solution is to get out of those segregated pockets and explore the more diverse and cultured parts of your city where the professional black men shoot pool or listen to jazz. If you’re disappointed with all the broke men in your life, you only have yourself to blame because you let them in.

Why Are Black Men Color Stroked?

“All the wavy light skinned girls is lovin me now, my self-esteem went through the roof, man I got my swag”

“She said her ass looks phat in the right pants, and you know I ate the pussy cuz she light skin”

“My new young bitch look exactly like Rihanna, Ass like Nicki, but she Yellow Like Madonna”

If rap music is the voice of the people, then the people love lighter complexions. But how true is that and how did our culture get here? In high school, I remember the two Tiffany’s, Dark Skin Tiffany and Light Skin Tiffany. Dark Skin Tiffany was cool, but everybody wanted to fuck Light Skin Tiffany. That kind of shit warps your psyche at a young age. A nigga may not have been into Light Skin Tiffany but because everyone else was, it swayed him in that direction. Every man has types, but that doesn’t stop us from appreciating something against type. That same guy who’s cracking jokes about “Mud Ducks” is at home on a jizz site stroking it to a girl that’s Akon dark. Pretty is pretty and skin color is never a turn off. Little Black boys are influenced by the men around them, and if they’re weak minded it never stops as they grow older. If another little kid looks at a BMW drive by and says, “That’s my car“, he’s going to want it too. If a teenager says, “look at that redbone, that’s wifey“, he’s going to want her too. If our culture has Kate Upton on a cover of three magazines at the same time, men are going to want that because somebody else is telling you its top shelf. It’s not brainwashing in the purest sense, its influence. Dark skin girls are just as pretty, but they aren’t advertised in the media like the lighter ones. That’s never going to change, but so what? At the end of the day, if a dark skin girl walks in a room and she’s pretty guys are going to holla– FACT. You may not get a witty rap lyric talking about how exotic you are, but you don’t need it. Confidence comes from within, not Lil Wayne.

He went to a white girl because she’s submissive. He went to a dark skin girl because she’s desperate. He went to a light skin girl because she’s a hoe. I hate hearing jealous women trying to explain away a man’s choice by dissing other women. You’re not hurting black men by spewing that venom, the only thing you’re doing is tearing down other women. If that man didn’t want to be with you, it should be fuck him, not fuck her. Don’t lower your self-esteem because a guy you have a crush on had a different preference. Any guy who says dumb shit like, “You’re pretty for a darkskin girl” or “I don’t usually talk to darkskin girls” is insecure. He’s been programmed to like something else, so he feels a need to apologize to the world. Fuck out of here. What real man is ashamed to be with a beautiful woman? I use to go to sleep with a picture of Kate Hudson on the wall; I’ve gone outside the race several times, so I understand the lust for something different. This isn’t going to be PC, but fuck it. Out of all of the gorgeous women of other races, there is nothing that turns me on more than a sexy ass Black woman. I swear to god they trigger something in me that I can’t explain. I’m not the exception. Black men love Black women of all shades– period!

Why Aren’t Black Men Ambitious?

Get rich quick schemes, nice jumper but too lazy to try out for a team, rappers who make music but never sell music, dime bag drug dealers, mama’s boys who get allowances on the low. Black women have a right to want their men to do better. If a woman can pop out a baby and still make time to get an education and two jobs, then why can’t men show that kind of perseverance? They do! Again, it goes to what guys you’re letting into your life. Back home I only knew a handful of guys that went to Universities. Out here, I’ve only met two niggas who didn’t go to college. Different crowds, different people. It’s not because they’re black and came from limited means, it’s because certain people have drive while others don’t. His mother didn’t raise him right, daddy wasn’t around, no money for school, white man holding him back from putting in that job application. Save those excuses for the bottom bitches stupid enough to feel sorry for a grown man’s lack of hustle. The president is black and a nigga named Waka Flocka is a millionaire twice over, life is what you make it. If your boyfriend or husband isn’t living up to his potential it’s not because he’s a “typical” nigga, it’s because you settled for a loser. I will admit there are many examples of black men not being what they could be, but we shouldn’t use the word, “typical” or “average” to describe them. Those black men don’t properly represent all of us, they only represent the guys you’ve met.

TLC told you “don’t go chasing waterfalls”, stick to the basic shit you’re use to, and you believed their ass. Instead of complaining about the “ain’t shit” niggas you continue to bust it open for, maybe you should spend that energy trying to break the cycle. The world is bigger than what’s in front of you, there is no excuse for staying in your comfort zone if it keeps giving you the same negative results. Depending on where you live it may be harder to find quality Black men, but nothing worth having is ever easy. Demand more, get more.

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