Basic bitches love shortcuts, no matter how many times you try to explain to them that you can’t force a man to reciprocate love, they look for ways to prove you wrong. Walking away from someone who doesn’t respect you as a woman is apparently the hardest thing in the world. Accepting that no matter what you do, some men will never think you’re good enough hurts too much. And looking in the proverbial mirror to figure out your own shortcomings in order to make yourself more appealing, takes is an effort you don’t have time for. Basicas swear they are perfect, the men they love will eventually love them back, and all they needs to do is figure out a cheat code  to get from Pussy to Wifey by the end of the year. There is no up up down down, Konami code to win this game! Throwing pussy, letting dudes get in your throat, and giving payday loans is a thirsty bitches love hustle, and it usually ends in failure and heartbreak. However, there is one way to keep a man in her life forever– a baby. Basicas have babies and think that maternity will turn into matrimony. Because of that delusional stance on love, these women end up in a never ending cycle of chasing men who want nothing to do with them or getting played by men who use the baby daddy status to take advantage. He came inside you and said he loved you, but it takes more than nut and words to prove that he’s genuine. Pussy is a hell of a drug, and sorry to break the news but impregnating a woman is not an indication of true love.

perfect fam dreamsI’ve gotten more than a few emails from mothers talking about “I’m just trying to make this work for my son ”. 9 out of 10 times I call bullshit on these ladies because the stories they tell me have NOTHING to do with wanting a father for their child and EVERYTHING to do with wanting a man to call their own. It’s disgusting that children are being used as handcuffs, child support is being used as leverage, and baby mama status abused in order to chase away the other women in his life. “She can call herself his girlfriend, fiance, or whatever she wants, but we have a child together!” A bun in the oven is not the same as a ring on the finger! Just because he loves his kid doesn’t mean he loves you, the proof is always in the status, and a lot of you are hustling backwards. How the fuck are you FWB with a nigga you carried a baby for? How can you still be “working it out” with someone you created life with? If you two couldn’t get on the same page in those nine months—he ain’t fucking with you. If watching you push a human out of your vagina couldn’t get him to see you differently– he ain’t fucking with you. If that man wanted to be with you, he would be with you, there is no middle ground. Spend the night, smash, take his kid to the park, then go back to his regular life is not being with you. Women like that are babysitters with benefits, yet they pop their collar like it’s going to lead somewhere. Take care of my little boy for me, hit me off with some pussy when I come to see him, now leave me alone until the next time I call. Thank god you didn’t need to pass an IQ test to become a mother or you’d be really fucked! You know you’re not being treated right, go complain about him being a bum and curse him out, but most likely you’ll answer that door when he comes knocking because you aren’t strong enough to let go.

On the other side of the fence from those women who get exploited are those who refuse to take “no” for an answer. He laid down to make a baby with you so he belongs to you. His new girlfriend is trying to steal him away, his mother is jealous, the world is against you and all you want to do is be a good mother and unite your family. Stop it with the conspiracy theories and get the hint, you can’t make him want you the way you want him. I know this girl who used child support to blackmail her ex-boyfriend into an engagement. The dude moved in because he didn’t want his paycheck being gobbled up and did the bare minimum relationship wise. He didn’t pay any bills, take her out, or do anything helpful besides drop the kid off at the sitter in the morning and dick her down at night.  Instead of letting go of the romantic aspect, she ended up supporting both the baby and the father. This dummy even brought herself an engagement ring. That says it all, she never cared about her child having a father, or getting money out of him to help out, she was more focused on keeping that man under her roof. Go ahead and roll your eyes at the single mothers who couldn’t get their baby daddy’s to commit, but a lot of you are out here bribing these men to stay. It’s time to stop clinging on to what was and dwelling on the fantasy of what could be and understand that you do have other options. “But we have a child together” is not proof that you are soul mates, it’s become an excuse to act desperate.

They don’t need Dad, you need Dick

Single Black MomWomen raise kids on their own everyday, b. There’s a difference between a sperm donor and a dad, and if he’s not trying to fulfill that role, then fuck him and handle yours! Help is for the handicap, and there is no reason to beg and plead for a man to be in your life regardless of your financial or family situation. I’m a proud product of a single parent home, and while my mother had her struggles, I never knew because I had everything I could ever ask for. Yes it’s great to  give your child a storybook home, but if you have to chase a man down and force him into that position, then it’s not worth it. By the time you finish explaining to your daughter why you allowed Daddy to have side hoes, call you out your name, and not come home Friday nights, it’s going to be too late because she’s going to be pregnant by a nigga who treats her just like daddy treated mommy. It’s the 21st century, women’s salaries are higher than ever, and if you own DSL you can get a PHD. There’s sport’s leagues, camps, and Uncles if you want some testosterone around your child. It may not be a cake walk, but you can do it on your own. Save the, “his son needs him” shit because we all know whose really crying for him to come back, and it ain’t the one in the diaper.

solangeThere is also this catch-22 where women think that no man will ever want them because they have a child, so they are determined to stay with the father. How do you know if that’s true if you don’t talk to any other men? You went out twice since the baby was born and hated it, not because all the men you saw were ugly, because you kept comparing them to the nigga that got you pregnant. If you learn to let go of that dream and open yourself up to meeting new men, then there is no reason that you shouldn’t be able to find a husband that will accept your family in progress. “I stopped talking to him because my baby’s father came back into my life” is one of the top ten dumbest quotes ever. Let me get this right. I knock you up, get my fill of pregnant pussy, make sure the kid comes out with all his fingers, buy a few Huggies, then bounce…. Now I’m allowed to come back a year down the line, say how I miss my daughter, cry that I want to work it out, and you drop your new “friend” to accommodate me? Sign me up for the Avengers because I must have Hulked out in that pussy for you to be that damn dick whipped. Regardless if you have a child or not, a man has to be accountable for his actions. Yes, it’s his right to see his child, but that doesn’t give him an easy pass back into your heart or vagina. A lot of good dudes out here don’t fuck with chicks with kids because many of them are suckers for the fathers. It has nothing to do with these women being unable to raise a child on their own, or the kid yelling for daddy, it’s because they refuse to let go of those emotions that got her to take his raw dick in the first place. If your baby daddy wants a relationship with you, it comes second to him proving that he’s going to be there for his seed. I grew up with a homie who would only go see his BM when he wanted to fuck, as horrible as it sound he wanted nothing to do with his son until he was old enough to shit in a toilet and throw a ball. Just because he’s your child’s father doesn’t mean he’s not going to play you. Only after he’s proven that he’s a decent dad does he get the right to try and win you back. Too many women automatically rush back as soon as a nigga texts, “I miss my family”. Stop being so fucking easy.

Don’t Make a Good Dad into a Villain

daddy's girlContrary to popular belief there are guys who take care of their responsibilities as best they can, and still can’t catch a break. Homie sees his son every weekend, pays child support, gives extra, and that isn’t enough for some women. This situation isn’t working because at the end of the day he’s not with you and that cuts deep. If only you could make this great father into a great boyfriend again. It’s not always over because you two broke up, people change,  and because you share a child, you can see that change over the months or years and then reconnect. That’s some beautiful shit… but most of the time it doesn’t play out that way. No matter how much time passes or how many times you two have sex for “old times’ sake” recognize when he doesn’t want to be with you romantically. Accept that your relationship is one of co-parents, and stop holding his not wanting to be with you against him. He’s not shit because he’s always out with those hoes. He’s not shit because he be liking bitches pictures on instagram. He’s not shit because he had some girl over his house when my baby spent the weekend. Take the stick out of your ass, and stop hating. Does he take care of his responsibilities as a father? *taps foot and waits* Then why do you care how he lives his life as a SINGLE man? It’s not like he’s having sex with the baby in the bed or making your four year old operate the porno camera. Your hatred stems from jealousy because you want him back, not because he’s a bad parent. The man you want forever would rather have Shemeka and ‘em in his bed– oh fucking well! Own up to your insecurities and get over it instead of lumping him in the “ain’t shit” category. Your aggression and anger will spill over to your children and then sides will be drawn. Either Daddy becomes the mean man Mommy always complains about or Mommy becomes the bitter bitch who won’t give Superdad a break. Either way you are making your child choose sides unfairly. Of course it’s going to be hard seeing someone you love choose other females over you, but deal with it like a woman, not a brat.

Never Let Your Child See You as Weak

slanderthemomsYou owe it to your kid to try and make things work with the father, but you also owe it to them to be smart enough to realize when you’re not wanted and walk away. When I saw Mimi allow her daughter to be shown on TV with Stevie J instead of keeping her off camera, it made me sick. You literally signed off to have your daughter on a show where you are constantly dogged out by her father and his whore like it’s cute? Children need to be sheltered from the ugly side of adult relationships for as long as possible, not thrown into the mix. Molly the maid aside, in real life too many women expose their children to their messy relationship unaware of the damage it’s going to cause later on in life. Basica Alba has her 6 month old on her hip in the middle of the street cursing her baby daddy out for texting some chick. Lakeisha VanderRatchet has her toddler helping throw Daddy’s shit out the window while she calls him all kinds of “motherfuckers”. Why are you so messy!?! Curve your anger until your youngling is far away from the argument. What’s worse than that is the weak bitches that let dudes hit them, scream at them, and shake the shit out of them in front of the kids. Many of these women go right back because he said sorry and she wants to work it out for the benefit of the family. Show me an ass whipping that’s worth keeping a two parent household together and I’ll show you a unicorn. Your son or daughter may never ever talk about seeing daddy yell or hit you, but that shit will stay with them for life. “Daddy issues” isn’t just some cliché saying, the shit is real. 70’s babies allowed men to run over them because they were afraid to be alone, and now these 90’s kids are dealing with the ramification of having basic ass mothers. Parents have no business being selfish, and mothers especially can’t afford to be weak. You have a child who looks up to you and you owe it to them to be confident, definitive, and Spartan strong. You want someone to talk to you, someone to love you, someone to share in those milestones with you, and save you from becoming that lonely ass unwed mom taking pictures at the high school graduation. You you you. Get. Over. Yourself! Stop crying about being single, stop whining about raising a child on your own, and stop thinking life still revolves around your quest to get married. Your child is the only relationship that matters and you should be willing to die alone rather than expose them to your fucked up love life. Stop throwing yourself a pity party and start acting with the common sense of someone’s mother.

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