When I wrote about how women should date multiple men it caused a stir, understandably men want to bully and guilt women into staying in their so-called “place” and less progressive thinking kitchen bitches quickly put their hands over their ears, as they naively want to stay in the kitchen they’ve become accustomed to. When I heard stories of freed slaves preferring to stay on the plantation, it amazed me as a kid, but later on it became clear that there will always be people who view any change in tradition as bad, no matter how liberating it really is. It is what it is. The real reason I bring up the last post was one comment.

“Maybe my pride won’t allow me to believe that after meeting me, a man would even WANT to date other women”

Pride, ego, hubris—it’s the reason Achilles fell during the battle of Troy, Anderson Silva no longer has a UFC belt, and why some refuse to play the dating game, choosing instead to let their “boss” swag pull someone in. Pride is also the main reason girls refuse to get the clear hint that they’re seen as just pussy when dealing with those men they really want to be with. It’s early into summer yet the top emails I get besides when does my book come out has been the, “I met a friend, he says he doesn’t want a relationship, but what does that really mean because we still kick it?” inquiries. I’ve talked a lot about Players and how they gas women up, but I’ve never really touched on the other side of being played—Playing yourself. You have to count your value in pesos if you allow a man to keep fucking you after he’s told you you’re not good enough to be his girl. I’m a firm believer in confidence, which is knowing you’re the shit without feeling a need to tell someone, not pride which is proclaiming you’re the shit, yet having to tell and show everyone reasons why because no one is convinced naturally. Pride is a weak and selfish emotion and to quote Marsellus from Pulp Fiction, “Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps.” A lot of women walk around full of pride because they have basic things, do basic shit, and attract basic niggas. The moment a woman full of herself meets a man that she deems on or above her level, it represents the ultimate achievement, and that pride swells to a new height. Like Spider Silva dancing in the Octagon this prideful woman feels untouchable, she doesn’t have to follow the rules of COMMON SENSE, so she drops her guard because no man can hurt her— but in the end she does get hurt. It’s not the man who did it to her; it’s the prideful woman who did it to herself by believing her own hype.

Why would anyone want to play a pretty woman? Why would a man hit and quit the greatest girl on earth? Because your hype wagon lured him in, but failed to convince him that you were indeed special. Those men see you just like every other chick walking around here with weave, ass, and red bottoms—indistinguishable. Any average woman can attain a sense a pride from buying something or looking like someone, but it takes a special woman to achieve total confidence from being who she is. These women out here crying over Ray Ray not texting back or furious that some on again off again dude disappeared and came back wifed up, they are sick to their stomach because their pride can’t handle the hard truth. He doesn’t want you because nothing about you is impressive on a deep level.

Men Don’t Play Hard To Get

Men do not seduce or play hard to get, they say or do shit that they think a woman wants to hear in order to get immediate results. Women on the other hand, love the art of seduction and misdirection. Maybe it’s the shyness factor that makes girls pretend like they didn’t come over to fuck then end up fucking or say they’re cool just “talking” when they really want a boyfriend. Remember, the vast majority of men do not play those games. If a dude tells you that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, it’s not a test, it’s not flirting, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t ever want to be in a relationship. It means exactly what it sounds like, he doesn’t want to be in one with you! You can bribe him with all the pussy in the world, bully him, or simply hang around and wait—but that doesn’t change the fact that he doesn’t want you. Why doesn’t he want you? There are a dozens of variables dependent on your personality juxtaposed with his personality that I’ve written about before, but the result is the same—bitch you didn’t wow me, therefore I don’t need you. Pride tells you that a man looking you up and down, grinding on you on the dance floor, buying you a drink, or texting you soon after he gets the number,  means that he’s in love. Ego Check—Men fall in love with the thought of any beautiful woman. Most of the time that woman who he pushes up on happens to be the closest one that fits the bill. I call this superficial infatuation “Image Boning”; his desire for you is based on dick stimulation not intellectual stimulation.

Put a conservative twitter avatar up one week, then change it to a provocative one the next week—that amount of male solicitation will increase. It has nothing to do with you being different, you changed a picture not your bio. It’s dick stimulation that takes you from being some random girl he follows on twitter to being the girl whose Avi he has to look at up close every time you pop up on the timeline like #HeyBoo. It doesn’t matter how your face looks, if you step out with your Mt. Meagan Goods showing, he’s going to be on you. Nothing to do with how cool you are– it’s Image Boning. It doesn’t matter how you wear your hair, if you switch out with that Erykah Badu ass poking, he’s going to walk after you. Nothing to do with how smart you are– it’s Image Boning. All women understand and know this on a certain level, but for the desperate ones it gives them pride to know that they can always resort to whoring their image in order to attain the most basic form of attention. That pride is false confidence because now you think that in order to get the same amount of guys who hit you online to give you that undivided attention offline, you have to attention whore and thirst trap in that same manner. You will attract someone you like, but the question then becomes what will make you special once you open your mouth? Are you just someone he wants to Image Bone or are you someone who can mentally stimulate him enough to want to be with you once your tits are covered and legs are closed? 80% of these relationships you ladies are jumping into are based on Image Boning, so you can’t cry foul when a man tells you he’ll pass in favor of a better image or strings you along to keep boning your image for free. You can attract any simple man with glitter, but you need to be authentic gold if you expect a great one to lay claim.

Seen Better Vs Meet Better

There is always someone who looks better than the next person in certain respects. Jay-Z knows that his beach is better, but you would be a fool if you think he stopped sneaking looks at other women the moment he got serious with King Bey. Mature men understand that new works of art pop up every day, and even if we don’t want to take them home, we can’t help but smile at the thought. You hear immature niggas say dumb shit like, “If I could put her face on her body, that’s wifey!” That won’t solve anything, because there will always be a new face they would want to put on a new body a year from now, it never ends. What that means for females is that you can buy all the tight fitting leggings in the world and get your boobs done, but it doesn’t matter. A man will always have seen better or will see better. A woman filled with confidence knows that her true attractiveness has nothing to do with basic shit like pushing titties up or sewing in hair from Pakimalashastan. With or without those highlights, great women KNOW they are great. A woman who clings on to, “Check my shoe game, tell me I’m not bad” is trying to compensate, she needs bullshit to pump herself up because her self-esteem isn’t good enough. All men will see better, but to be the one who he talks to and realizes, “I’m never going to meet better,” is checkmate. Of course your image is important, niggas can’t beat off to how accurate you answer questions during the Double Jeopardy round, but the other part of the package is what separates you from the rest. Conversation, personality, wit, intelligence—you ain’t got these cus they don’t sell them at the mall!

melysa-fordThose of you out here running after these assholes aren’t in love with the man, you’re in love with that approval. You want someone you see as sexy to co-sign that you too are sexy as well. Let an ugly guy tell you you’re beautiful, you’d shake that shit off like a roach crawled on you. You don’t want his compliments, not because they’re fake, because it doesn’t boost your weak self-esteem the same way a Chris Brown saying it would. Stop being just another one of these rats running on the wheel trying to chase a prize that you think will complete you. He’s handsome, he’s an athlete, he’s rich, he’s Kryptonian, those men will eat you up, spit you out, and ignore your texts because you haven’t shown him that you are anything new beneath the sun. In the end you have to drop all the bravado and ask yourself who you really are, not what you do, what you wear, where you’ve been, or who you know—who the fuck are you as an individual, and why would any man of substance want to be around you after his dick goes soft?

Wanting His Approval

Let me bring it back to the practical application. You have a friend who you’re in lust with, you want to be with him, but he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. Go ahead and fuck him. Go ahead and blow up his phone. Go ahead and curse him out when he ignores your calls or disappears for a few days. Is he hurting your feelings or are you hurting your own feelings? This man told you straight up, “I’m not ready for that” aka “I don’t want youbkaI’ve seen better and met better, bitch you ain’t special.” Feel that sting, baby girl? That’s pride fucking with you! Pride demands that you get his approval, because pride feeds on insecurity! If you were a confident Spartan, you would have chucked the deuce the moment this dude said, “Not ready for–”. A confident woman doesn’t have time to tap dance for some lame nigga while reciting the alphabet backwards. Extra bitches have to do extra things, because they don’t believe they can attract a man on personality alone. Don’t play that Chase-A-Dick game, the moment you do you prove to him that your entire “bad bitch alert” swagger was bogus, and you’ll be treated to a diet of penis and “I’ve just been so busy, sexy,” excuses before he moves on to the next female he wants to Image Bone. “Well, he still hits me up randomly, and that’s confusing…” because he wants to fuck you, just like every straight man wants to fuck every girl in a nice package. There is no confusion, it’s your box not your brain, so stop letting your pride swap out FUCK and put in LOVE. Go ahead and convince yourself that after a certain amount of blow jobs and back shots you’ll make him see you in a different light. Your pussy is bomb, your head game is vicious, your body is better than Nicki’s– but you haven’t even impressed him enough to fuck you in a made bed! Sit yo ass down with all of those trumped up self-compliments, and work on building real self-esteem. A confident woman knows that giving a man a shot of her personality is more powerful than a shot of her vagina. If he dates her for a few weeks and is still talking that, “I’m not ready” bullshit, it may disappoint her, but it doesn’t break her—she understands that her greatness was wasted on his ignorance, and the universe has something better in store. Stop playing yourself by running after men who don’t want you. You cannot lower yourself in order to make a man think higher of you, all that does is prove that he was right– you’re just like every other thirsty ass girl he’s ran through.

Dating only those men who approach you or refusing to date because you think men are all players, those are excuses that tells me you are too prideful to find love in the REAL WORLD where not every man will be swept away by your greatness. I get it, no one wants to be looked over in favor of someone else, but you can’t take your ball and go home. Stop hiding behind your ego, grow some balls, and live your life knowing you’re a Queen regardless if a man puts a tiara on your head or not. It blows my mind that so many girls are afraid to start a random conversation with a man because they fear looking thirsty, yet they will stalk the hell out of a guy who tells her straight up, “You’re just my homie… who I cum in”. Tell me which is more desperate? Right now there are females crying– We had sex, now he’s been acting distant. We went out on a date, but he hasn’t called since. I’ve told him how I feel, but nothing has changed. He says I’m girlfriend material but… Is it really that hard to accept that you haven’t impressed a person? Is this nigga who’s saying you’re not good enough able to piss laser beams? If not he’s a fucking human, and if you’re able to get to this place called Earth, you can find more just like him. But Y’all don’t want to hear that truth. You all want the secret that will make a man who doesn’t want you, suddenly want you, so here it is: Learn how to take a bowling ball and shove it through a mail slot. It won’t work the first few weeks but use all your force and energy to wear it down and eventually you will break that shit open, and there you are—you did it. What was the fucking point of having a bowling ball go through a mail slot in the first place? Um, what’s the fucking point of handcuffing a man who thinks you’re wack? Your pride demands that you show people that you are good enough to make anything work even if it overrides the common sense that making it work is destructive, foolish, and won’t benefit a damn soul. So keep at the bowling ball experiment and let me know how long it takes you to figure out it’s stupid.

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