I need to tell these men about themselves. I need to sit them down and say how it’s not right to chase after pussy. That they should focus more on quality conversations with women they can grow with, not the Quality Inn with women they can hoe with… Like some fear-mongering preacher who screams as he recites from the book of Revelation, I should scare these men into being honest with stories of how a good girl is worth a thousand hoes. That’s such bullshit. Marginalizing one type of woman to make another type of woman happy is fraud as fuck. It’s a free country and everyone is allowed to pursue what they want to do no matter how shallow or ill-advised. You’re not winning at love due to your choices in terms of who you give your time to and put your trust in. That has nothing to do with other women messing up your life or all men being bad apples. You. Make. The. Choice! Telling fairy tales that make you think it’s the world around you and not your choices may help you sleep at night, but it won’t help you prosper as a person. Most young dudes don’t care about someone telling them to settle down and find a good woman. Guys live for the fun, and stumble upon love, which means if a man is having fun chasing ass and his smash to rejection rate is about 60%, he doesn’t want to read any advice on true love. The devil’s advocate that a woman may play is, “that’s a hollow existence, they should be trying to do better, because he’s going to end up alone in the end” but who are you to judge what someone’s existence should be. I bet that the vast majority of men from your college that were hoes back in the day, will have a wife by the time he’s 30. Men don’t chase love, yet they end up with it. Call them immature, call them sluts, but these men are happy for now, and like most males it won’t take being scared straight to slow them down, it’ll be a woman that is so remarkable that he slows down for and acts right on his own. Guys don’t have the pressure to chill out right away, they are confident they will find their game changer.

The counter argument that no woman with any sense would want some dude that’s been around the block is grossly inaccurate. The average man has been around the block—probably with someone you know, and when faced with discarding a good prospect for his shady past or letting it live as water under the bridge, most women get under the “His past is the past” umbrella. Women don’t go around asking “So how many girls did you eat out and fuck” they may care but they don’t ask. Theretofore it doesn’t really matter if he’s been around the block, he’s on her block now and she wants him regardless. Men aren’t going to change because you think their actions are disgusting, they live for self, not for some ideal you think is the right way to “be a man.” Many older guys look back and say, “Yeah, I fucked up, she was a special woman…,” but if they wouldn’t have fucked up, they wouldn’t have grown into that better man. Advice is great, but experience is priceless! It works both ways. I often get hit up by women who tell me they stopped reading BGAE because they found a boyfriend, but then the follow up is it didn’t work out and they could have used some of this advice during that relationship… It’s the same mind frame with both sexes, “When I’m winning, don’t tell me shit, I got this!” Those who are getting what they want only see the upside and they rarely protect against the downside. I write plenty about the stupidity of these new niggas and try to give them wisdom, but those boys who are getting Come Over And Chill ass every weekend don’t want to hear me. I write a lot about the things that happen after you find a man and how to guard against boyfriend bullshit, but those girls who are in okay relationships don’t want to hear me. It is what it is. You can’t force anyone to take advice, man or woman; you have to let them experience life.

FAIR IS A MYTH

Despite dozens of entries dedicated to men I still get some bitter Basica wagging her finger, “You need to talk less about women and more about these men because they are the problem, niggas need to do right.” What the fuck is right? The direction I’m about to turn because I don’t want to hear your bullshit. Each person has their own morals and their own ethics, but there are no set rules to love like there are set rules to driving on the road. Love is anarchy, you can literally fuck anyone you want to and not have to talk to them ever again. Despite this anarchy, some women seem to hold fast to this idea that there are rules to romance that should be followed. In this unwritten rulebook hoes should lose, sluts are shunned, aggressive women are thirsty, and men always stand behind their words. I’m sorry to break this news but there is no universal rulebook, no right and wrong, just your way of doing it versus their way of doing it. Treat someone how they treat you—it sounds good but that shit rarely happens. Quality is better than quantity—maybe to you. He’s going to miss you when you’re gone—probably not, and if he does, you’re going to let him come back anyway. We’re so caught up in The Moral of The Story Is Your Dick is Going To Fall Off… but no one’s dick ever falls off! We hope Karma catches up to those people we see as messy… but most of the time they end up just as good as you are. Man vs. Woman is one big mixture of love/hate/jealousy. People wanting people who don’t want them, which leads to revenge thoughts because humans think that anyone who doesn’t want them or appreciate them should be punished by the universe. You end up punishing yourself by harboring resentment, and that’s counterproductive to your own happiness.

tumblr_mmkmmnASlr1rqcu9eo1_1280Fast food workers went on strike for higher wages because they didn’t think they were being paid fair wages. Most people laughed at this story and said, “Go get another job that pays better.” The excuses of poor education, lack of new jobs, etc.… is how these workers responded. They don’t want a new job, they want the same job, but it should pay them more because that’s only fair. Let me tell you about fair. You can’t wipe your ass with fair because it’s make believe. These men you cry about who aren’t being fair by choosing ratchets over class are Taco Bell, you don’t have to deal with those people, you can move on IF you wanted. Instead, like that guy who complains yet stays on Chalupa duty, you keep dealing with the same machine you’ve always raged against because you are comfortable. In your stubborn backwards ass brain, it’s not on you to go find better, it’s on them to become better in the interest of fairness. Do you hear how fucking insane that sounds? I don’t care what city you live in and how small the population of educated handsome men are, you are not boxed in! If those men aren’t playing fair, then stop playing their game, genius. Those men don’t want to do better, so leave them niggas to their hollow lives while you go find fulfillment. What you’re really saying when you constantly shift the focus on those guys who have hurt you is, “Make him change his fucked up ways because I really want to be with him and it’s not FAIR that he doesn’t want to grow up and be with me.” Boo-fucking-hoo.

Your crush Deandre took you out once then fell back, now he’s taking Instagram pictures with some trashy girl who looks like she’s a welfare queen. You call your girlfriend up and say, “See this shit? This is what I’m talking about! Niggas all want garbage. I swear I wish I liked girls cus I’d be gay and done with these clowns!” Why so serious? That nigga didn’t choose you. He chose the girl that he wanted. You didn’t lose. You just didn’t win. So why are you being so sensitive in your reaction, because it’s not “fair” that he did that? I hear the chatter, “Let me be sensitive, NC, it takes time!” No I won’t let you be sensitive, because being upset or dejected for a day or two is one thing, wallowing in anger and thinking all men are going to hurt you is another. Stop letting the choices of men from your past ruin the choices you make in the future! Last week I wished someone merry Christmas and she wrote me back that she had been played three straight Christmases in a row buying gifts for dudes that didn’t get her shit so “ain’t nothing merry.” This turned into a convo first on how black men are assholes, then how certain astrological sign men are assholes, then how men in the state she lived in were assholes. She was upset, and I let her get it out… but then I said, “Maybe you shouldn’t be blowing $300 gifts on niggas whose middle names you don’t even know.” She then got mad at me and called me an asshole. The point is, we all look at outside forces be it race, birth month, city limits, but rarely look inside. Those guys scarred her, but that’s no reason to hate Christmas, hate black men, or hate Scorpios. Instead of hating all men, try educating yourself on the type of woman you are. I bet that all three of those dudes exploited something about her ego or personality, and because she doesn’t realize there are flaws in the Deathstar, she will continue to be on the losing end of the love wars.

There is one rule when it comes to love—worry about yourself.

I do not want to hear that there are no good men out here, there are no respectful men, there are no black men, there are no men that can afford to date, there are no men without kids, there are no men that want a virgin, there are no men who like girls that look like you, that talk like you, that wear their hair like you. I can’t stand to hear women with low self-esteem and a bitter outlook tell me what they can’t get, then pin it all on males! The white man ain’t stopping your money from being made and the black man ain’t stopping your heart from being loved! I want to Macaulay Culkin scream at all y’all Pre-Spartan little girls who like to place blame as if love is slavery and every man that hustled you out of pussy owes you reparations. Men don’t feel bad for jerking you nor are they truly sorry, your ego wants to believe that when you give them 2nd chances, but they aren’t. So instead of going back and forth between bitch boys, why don’t you manifest a real man? Napoleon Hill once said that if there is a man in your city who has earned a million dollars that means you too can earn a million dollars. If there is a girl in your city that has found love then you are capable of finding a real connection as well. I don’t want to hear that smart-ass response of, “those girls settled” or “she was probably a dummy.” When you lash out in the face of positive results, you show your true negative nature. That negative nature is why you can’t win.

Anger: You bring a lot to the table but the men you like are too blind to see it. What the fuck is wrong with them? Is it all about sex sex sex!

Frustration: You do everything a good woman is supposed to do yet lesser women are going out on real dates, getting men to treat them to things, and you have to do extra shit just to get attention.

Hopelessness: You are sick of playing games with these little boys who pretend to be men, you don’t want to go out anymore because all it does is get your hopes up. Fuck it.

Being angry about how men have treated you in the past keeps you frustrated and leaves you hopeless. In order to bandage your bruised ego or give a logical reason to how someone as smart and pretty as you got played or hasn’t had any good relationships you point the finger at men and tell yourself that Slow and Steady Wins the Race. I’m an optimistic person, I believe in happy endings, rainbows, and that Naomi Campbell’s edges can one day grow back. However, Slow and Steady doesn’t win shit when all you do is sit in the house and complain about not meeting anybody. When all you do is point to another girl and tear her down because she’s going for the gold. When all you do is criticize boys when you should be out introducing yourself to real men. You complain, you don’t actually go out and do anything but give your numbers out to the first non-ugly option, and half date at their pace. All that shit you talk about “I need this and that” where is it at in real life in terms of your actual results?

Leave The Basic Shit In The Past

Just-Pussy

Do you want to spend another year on social media talking about hypothetical $200 dates with men you aren’t going to meet or imagining how you will split your bills with the husband you aren’t going to find sitting on your ass? Do you want to spend another year being Friends With Benefits, stuck in a broken-record situationship, or claiming a “man” who is technically not your man? Do you want to keep going back to exes for sex and attention? Continuing to be just as basic as the other bitches you work with, group chat with, and make fun of or do you want to become a Spartan? No, you’re not about that Spartan life. You’re going to keep making the same mistakes because you just don’t get it. Go on, keep giving up free pussy to men who wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire. Maybe you’re the fearful type that will give up absolutely no pussy because you don’t trust yourself not to fall in love with the first dick you bounce on… The life I’m describing is what happens when you don’t break down your past mistakes and Evolve!

King Bey dropped that freaky ass CD talking about love making in a limo, while you were still stuck on ratchet sex with a “sometimeynigga in a cheap hotel. That’s a woman in power vs. a woman settling. Women are getting married every weekend in this country, meanwhile you’re unblocking lames who you swore you were done with to see if they texted you an apology. That’s women in power vs. women settling. Why can’t you win where other girls are winning, why can’t you live in power? Because you choose to stay in your same state of mind! I meet women like you all the time, talk a good game but still get gamed. That Typical Bitch psychology, will ruin you! Yes, there are some real jerk ass men out here, no one is denying that; but if your excuse is that ALLLLLLLLL the men you are interested in are shit, then what does that make you? If being a fly that buzzes around garbage is what makes you happy, keep buzzing. When you are done lowering the bar and wishing that shitty men would love and wife you, I’ll be here. Not to place judgment, but to prove to you that if you raise that bar and Spartan the fuck up, you won’t just find one man, but several men that are ready to earn you and value you.

men-ain't-shitI don’t give all this advice for women because I think you all need more help than men. I wish more guys would listen. History shows us that most men don’t become complete until they find love, and a lot of guys out here pussy hunting are still losing at life and aren’t smart enough to realize that they can’t do it alone. Every man needs a Game Changer that inspires them to be great, be it a Yoko Ono, Kim Kardashian, or Michelle Obama (different strokes for different folks I guess). Men usually land on their feet later in life because they realized a long time ago that they create the rules—pimp in his 20’s, family man in his 30’s. This mastery over the game is why Dudes feel like they have it all figured out. They expect women to wait for them to mature only because so many weak women actually wait, and end up proving those types of guys right, “there will always be a bitch that wants me”. Fuck that, I don’t want any of you to be someone’s default bitch.

Finding love is not about uncovering a list of places to go where the unicorn men are standing around ready to praise you, it’s not about tricking a man into liking you with reverse psychology, it’s definitely not about using gimmicks and games to make a man want you, it’s all about following that Spartan Code and learning how to take back control.

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