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There’s this saying that’s been regurgitated over the past few years, “A person you get in a relationship with should be your friend first.” Once again we have this nice concept that pretends to be the answer to why relationships fail which sounds good, but smells of bullshit. Be best friends, get to know each other on this deep level, and then once it’s official there won’t be any surprises. 200 thousand years on this planet and mankind finally figured it out, start off as buddies… Give me a break. Let's get away from the semantics of the word "friend" and let's instead ask what it means to be someone’s friend in the true sense of the word. There’s a common bond based on shared interests, which leads to you dropping your guard and opening up about various parts of your life. From there you reach complete transparency because they genuinely care about you, not what you do for them. That’s a true friendship. Do you know how long it takes to actually become real friends in the way described? You can’t do that shit in weeks. “Let’s go to Buffalo Wild Wings, fam, watch movies, and be buds until we fall in love” said no man ever! Passion is something that is there or it isn't, you don't find it after a few months of being text buddies. These "he grew on me" relationships are nothing but fancy words for "I settled." Chemistry can't be manufactured. Alpha males shoot their shots, they lay claim to women they desire, they don’t come over to take your braids out and watch Hulu. Yes, there are many instances where romance has to be deferred because of current relationships or bad timing and you become true friends due to circumstance, but even then it’s still understood—I don’t want to be your pal forever, I’m waiting for that green light to snatch you. What’s actually lost in translation is this: By the time you get married, that person will have BECOME your best friend.

Marrying your best friend isn’t the same as becoming boyfriend and girlfriend with your best friend. W...

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