Should women approach men? The majority of females would answer “Hell no,” then comment that if I man wants you, he will always make the first move. In their mind, to approach a man is considered “chasing” a man, and that’s not ladylike. Actively going after what you want is seen as “doing too much” again, that’s not ladylike. Some will even claim to know men who have said, “I don’t like aggressive women,” or “I look at her as easy if she engages with me first,” and use those anecdotes as proof that it’s better to stay to yourself and wait to be chosen. Ha!
“Never approach a man first” is propaganda pushed by women who want to stay in their comfort zones for women already in their comfort zones. Sit around, wait for a man, and pray that you get married one day… in the meantime you end up talking to guys who do CHASE you then GHOST you. That makes you even more bitter, but you don’t change your method, you just keep waiting. You say fake-deep stuff like “I’m working on myself” as an excuse for not being aggressive. How are you working on yourself when you refuse to evolve and change the way you approach meeting new people? Just because a guy crushes on you or lusts after your pussy, doesn’t mean he’s better than a man who you had to DM or speak to first. You’ve being brainwashed to be passive in your own life.
Jesus will send you a man. Use a vision board to make a man pop out of thin air with all the qualities you want. Do your hair different, that’s what’s been holding you back. Wait until next month’s crescent moon. All these gimmicks say the same thing– be a Pick Me. You’re not manifesting a healthy relationship, you’re not attracting love, you’re sitting on your ass wishing for easy results! The result of this old school weak bitch waiting game is that you do get a man, but it’s rarely one you want, just one you settle for because you’re sick of waiting for your “type” to notice you.
What about those that have tried once or twice to approach first and swear it didn’t work? One girl brought up how none of the relationships that spawned from her approaching men first have lasted—well beloved, there are a bunch of broken hearts and divorces from relationships where the man went after the woman first, so what’s your point? Don’t bring in statistics that only tell one side of the story, Basica!
No matter who approaches who, there’s always a risk of being played or something not working. My philosophy is that it is better to take a chance going for what you want than to waste time trying to make those who do approach you fit what you want. Be prepared to be approached AND be prepared to approach, these are two methods you can and should use at the same time. Be open to what comes, and also be proactive when you see someone you like. What’s wrong with that? NOTHING. There is no such thing as “too masculine” or turning men off with masculine energy. You sound silly spouting that Fake News. If a man wants you, he wants you, if he doesn’t he doesn’t. My goal is to show you an easy way to get the type of men you want 9 out of 10 times. But before I can turn you into a Spartan let’s cut through the bullshit and get to the root of this mentality.
Women hate hearing “no.” To risk a man not responding positively, saying he has a girlfriend, or in any manner that doesn’t end with an exchange of numbers is a rejection that most females can’t bear to deal with. It’s not just approaching, I know a few women in two-year-old relationships that still don’t ask their boyfriends for big favors because they are afraid to be turned down. “I’ll do it myself because I don’t like to be told ‘no’ or to have some drag their feet.” That’s a real-life quote.
Is approaching men really about this played out gender role that dictates that a man should choose who he wants while a dignified woman simply has to get within eyesight of him, or is it about ego and pride? You tell yourself how great you are in your own head, but what happens when you’re forced to interact with someone you find attractive and they don’t even think you’re worth a three-minute conversation let alone asking for your number? To put yourself out there to approach a man is to potentially destroy the false confidence you’ve spent your entire adult life protecting. The fear of not being good enough to get what you want, that’s what keeps most women on the bench.
You want to win the lottery, but you don’t play the lottery. Sounds stupid, right? Well, let me reword it. You want to find a husband, but you don’t really engage with men. Same concept, but you can’t see that. Life is about applying one’s self. You apply for college, you apply for a job, you apply for a home loan. You won’t find many broke women sitting at home with their arms folded, saying they don’t apply for jobs or that employers need to come to them. Yet, single and unhappy women do sit home, arms folded complaining about “men today,” because no one’s beating down that door. Stop being stuck on this petty idea of “you first.” It’s time to learn to flirt, learn to talk circles around men, and be progressive. I know you’re afraid, that your mind keeps telling you you’re going to be rejected, but keep reading, and I will show you step by step how to do this in a way that will protect your self-esteem and get results across the board.
Reminder, I’m not saying men shouldn’t approach women, and it’s all on your shoulders. I wrote a book for men where I make the same case that they can’t be overly shy or timid either, but let’s be honest, how many men you know take advice when it comes to courting women? The gap between compatible males and females will keep growing wider because a rapidly growing number of men are just as afraid of rejection as the women. Today’s men are looking at their phone, you’re looking at your phone. They’re afraid to message you, you’re afraid to message them. You may both look at each other from across the room, but he’s not going to risk it and you’re not going to risk it. Old school ways don’t work because NEW SCHOOL MEN are unsure if you’re going to be receptive. Yes, men do like to chase and court, but in the era of frail male egos and the fear of #MeToo you sometimes have to show him it’s OKAY to chase you by initiating a little contact.
85% of the guys that you meet won’t be your type, but guess what? Undesirable men will speak first, chase you, wear you down, and do whatever it takes to get you because they know you will settle for what you can get more often than approach what you want. The world is changing, and the ideas of what men should do and what women should do are just that—ideas. If you want to win, you must innovate, not make excuses as to why you’re going to stick to the old ways.
Some old school things are good = a man proposing first is a must, opening the car door is a sign of respect, but simply saying “hi” first is not something you should be so stubborn about if you’re secure in your own skin! The reality of being someone who lives in power is that it creates an environment of constant success and opportunity. Every time you break up with someone or are disappointed by a potential bae, you wish you had other options, you wish you had choices, well it’s time to Spartan Up and attain true power over your situation.
You find yourself in the market, at the gym, getting coffee, or even on an elevator, and you see someone that sparks your interest, why not take that chance? You work with someone or are platonic friends, and they seem like a good match, why not take that chance? You follow someone online and see that they’re single, why not take that chance? This isn’t about chasing it’s about using the right words, the right eye fuck, or the right smile to create a connection that can CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
You will still meet those men who approach you first. Like I wrote, it’s not one or the other, it’s a duel option lifestyle. The idea isn’t to “be a man” and do what males typically do, it’s to live in the moment and control your own destiny by being bold enough to open your mouth when the time comes. A woman that isn’t afraid to approach and who also knows how to position herself to be approached will net more options than one who just waits around.
So where do you start in terms of baiting a man to approach you first and what should you say when shooting your shot so you won’t get rejected? I wrote an entire blueprint for all scenarios you will face and I call it The Spartan Dating Script.
How To Be More Approachable
How To Approach
What To Say On A Date
Using Social Media To Lure Men In
How To Go From “Just Friends” To Dating
Sexting & Dating Apps
And much more. Download it today, follow the script, and never feel lost, confused, or unsure again.