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Two people can be in love and not belong together. If you’ve lived and loved you’ve learned this harsh truth. If you still buy into the Hollywood movie version of love where it conquers all, then brace yourself because you’re in for a rude awakening sooner or later. You can’t control how compatible a person remains or if they change over time, but you can ensure that you aren’t the catalyst that pushes someone away by taking self-inventory of the things you may be doing wrong. Are you good at dating? Are you good at communicating? Are you truly a good girlfriend, or is it just hype and ego? “I know I have issues, but I’m loyal” doesn’t cut it. “I need to work on my attitude, but…” sounds like an excuse to point fingers. “Love me, flaws and all” is hypocritical. You can’t rage against toxic behavior in one breath, then turn around and demand that a person embraces all the insecurities you refuse to work on just because it sounds romantic. If all of your relationships keep falling apart, it's not bad luck, it's time to explore if you're as amazing as you say or guilty of ignoring your own massive faults.

You will meet quality men and you will meet men who don't measure up. We focus so much on what to do in order to protect against trash ass men, but rarely talk about how to let down your guard and open up to the good men you come across. You say you know how to date, you want to be in a loving relationship, but you end up treating the good men worst than you treat the manipulators because you're so used to being in a shell. This is honesty hour, if you blindly date, ignorant to your problems or unwilling to fix them, you will fuck up a good thing. You will chase away guys who you’ve prayed for. You will dismiss someone who really likes you. You will act so basic or so jealous due to your past trauma that you push Mr. Right into the arms of another woman. I write a lot about the bullshit that a lot of males do. Today I’m going to address the other side.

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