Show a man that you will stick with him through His worst behavior, and he will keep showing you his worst behavior. Struggle love doesn’t lead to change. It leads to more struggle. This may seem like common sense, but when you’re a woman who is in love with a man’s potential, comfortable in his arms, and convinced that you can’t do better, it’s a hard truth to swallow. No matter if you’re in a relationship, still in the dating stage, or single looking to rebuild yourself, I want you to read this very carefully because what I’m about to drop on you isn’t about men. It’s about power.
Every relationship requires work. Making it through the dating stage requires compromise. Engagements and even marriage will reset the rules of what it takes to make love work. Yet, there’s this propaganda pushed by peasant ass men and Pick Me ass little girls that “real” love requires sacrificing and settling. Never that. You are a woman, the most powerful being ever. Life is created inside of you. Wars are fought in your name. Men trick entire paychecks trying to spread your legs. The greatest lie ever told is that a woman should settle for what she can get, that quality men are limited, and that the older she gets, the less luck will be on her side. Wipe your ass with luck because so long as you are breathing, you will be desired. As long as you are desired you can snatch the man and the lifestyle you want. So, what’s stopping you from getting the quality relationship deserve. Yes, I’m talking to you! What’s standing in your way? UNCERTAINTY.
What’s stopping a long-term girlfriend from walking away? The thought of “what if I can’t find anyone and he goes on to get married, and I’m looking like an idiot.”
What’s stopping that girl that’s been ghosted from moving on? The thought of “what if it’s a misunderstanding and all I need to do is clear it up for him to come back and resume what we had.”
What has a wife willing to stay under the same roof as a man who no longer loves her? The thought of ‘who will want me after a divorce or want me and these children, I’ll be seen as damaged goods”.
The uncertainty of your future keeps you stuck in this basic mindset. As a result, your life centers around this idea that you need a man to be happy, financially secure, give you a purpose and provide the stability of love. Fuck that! You can go get a man that can fuck you better, who can spoil you better, and who can support you emotionally on a level you’ve never seen. How do you reach this level? It’s easy, and it starts with the compatibility test below. It’s time to Spartan up by knowing what effort is versus potential.
The Compatibility Test
Is He Putting In The Work To Get You Or Keep You?
1)He puts thoughts into dates. For example, he doesn’t just hit you up at the last minute or plan things spur of the moment; he researches places to take you or something to do. I’ve seen so many creative date ideas during the pandemic, so there is no reason to go over a house and order in. There’s a difference between trying to court you versus just trying to get you to give him quick pussy. There’s a difference between being in a relationship and showing romance versus doing something quick and easy to shut you up.
2)He goes out of his way to surprise you with new and exciting things. In my marriage, I always keep my wife on her toes. Every week it’s on me to think of new things that will surprise her, and it’s not about buying a bunch of bullshit. It’s about thinking outside of the box. In your relationship, you need to see continued creativity. If a man is busy, this is even more important. You need to know that he can multitask between work and quality time with. You need to see him chose his friends or family time over you on occasions. You need to enter each month with this man feeling like you’re on a ride, not stuck in park where you must be the one to reach over and put the car in gear.
3)He listens to what you say and incorporates it. For example, when you’re talking and mention a favorite food, a favorite artist, or a nostalgic memory from your childhood, how does he bring that back into play? Does he take you to a place that has that food? Does he put on that album when you’re driving in his car? Does he buy you something that reminds you of that memory? Furthermore, if there are issues between you two, such as things you don’t like, does he listen and move accordingly. If you tell him not to do something, like call you a joke name, bring up someone you no longer get along with, or tell him that you need two days advance notice for a date, and he keeps doing what you asked him not to do, then that proves he’s not listening to you nor does he care about your boundaries. Listening saves relationships more than talking. Anyone can talk about a bunch of nothing or vent about problems, but to listen to you and try to be your peace and joy points to a GREEN FLAG. This is the kind of man you should always be testing for.
Failing Effort: The opposite of everything I just wrote! What is consistent effort? It’s not talk. It’s action. If a man is telling you one thing, then not following up, it’s not an accident, he doesn’t give a fuck. If you’re always arguing about miscommunication because he’s flakey with his schedule, then that means you’re not a priority in his life. If you’re getting hollow words in the forms of texts or phone calls that only serve to ask, “When can I see you,” then he’s not trying to build a bond; he’s trying to keep you open to fuck.
It costs a man nothing to text you or call you when he’s free and wants to fuck you. It costs a man nothing to include you in plans he already made with his friends and have you tag along. Know when you’re being shoehorned in and not treated as a special attraction. “How do I make him treat me like a priority,” Silly Basica, you don’t have to teach a man anything. Men live their life according to ranks, arguing won’t make him put you in first place, the solution is to find someone who doesn’t need to be reminded that a diamond is a fucking diamond.
If the continued effort has fallen off and the excuse is work or kids or his schedule in general, use your common sense. It’s not about being busy; it’s about being bored with you. If you were a new piece of pussy, he would make the time, he would be romantic, he would do all the things he did to get you in the first place. Life doesn’t take breaks, so to concede proper treatment now means you will concede it forever.
Is he emotionally supportive of who you are and what you are seeking to become?
Passing Effort: No matter if you’re set in your career or looking to start a new chapter, these conversations should be met with support, questions about the game plan, and most importantly, an eagerness to assist you in any way. There will be times when you don’t need to talk. You just need him to listen. There will be times when you are being negative or spiraling with anxiety. You will need him to be strong enough to slow you down and talk you through the storm. When you slack off, he will be there to remind you about all the goals and moves you said you were going to make. The great thing about a true partner is that they aren’t there to kiss your ass. They’re there to sometimes kick you in the ass and help motivate you. You need a King to a Queen, not a jester who is just there to laugh, fuck and have fun. Spiritually and emotionally, does he hold you to a standard and continue to help you keep it? Romantically does he speak your love language? The answers are obvious if you’re brave enough to look.
Failing Effort: Some men don’t care about who you are or where you’re going. They are happy to enjoy you in your current form. If you have a man who never wants to talk about your goals, then that’s a problem. A man who wants to lay up and talk about shallow things like work drama, TV shows, or wax intellectual about conspiracy theories is fun when you’re 22; you don’t need a grown-ass man that just wants to smoke, drink, and chill. Also, check to see if a man is cheering you on or throwing dirt on your dreams. If he makes a certain amount of money and doesn’t want you going back to school or taking another position, it isn’t about “I won’t be able to spend as much time with you.” It’s about you eclipsing him. Few men want women to climb higher than them. In terms of holding you accountable, is he checking in to see if you’re living up to those late-night talks, or has he forgotten? Two people who talk big shit but then end up laid up every weekend watching Netflix aren’t a power couple!
Is He Financially Secure Enough To Spoil You With The Treatment You Deserve?
Passing Effort: You can have your own money, you can be independent, but at the end of the day, I know that Queens STILL want to be spoiled as though they were princesses. I wrote an entire book about how to set the table for treatment and swallow your pride to ask for the things you want. Ho Tactics was mostly aimed at women dating or in a relationship or even married because I was sick of women pretending as if money doesn’t matter. “Always be able to do for yourselves,” shut the fuck up, Basica, where’s the luxury treatment from the man you’re supplying pussy to? Every Valentine’s day women get humbled, because the effort they put in doesn’t match what they end up getting. From the jump be able to identify a man who is willing to invest in you as if you were his prized possession.
A guy should be willing to pay for dates, buy you gifts without asking, and if you’re in a bind or if you have your eye on something specific, be there to greet you with a “yes, I’ll get that for you.” Is your guy employed? Not “does he get money” I’m talking about does he have an income coming in that isn’t going to evaporate because he’s a scammer or drug dealer. You need a man that’s actually getting long-term money, not someone who is only getting it for the next six months or hoping that his friend’s record label takes off.
You need to see that a man is willing to spend his hard earned money even after you have sex. 40k or 400k a year, doesn’t matter what he makes if a man says, “I’ve paid for the past month of dates it’s your time” or fixes his mouth to say, “Can’t you pay for your own nails,” that’s not about being broke it’s about being tight. You do not want to get pregnant, marry, or live with a cheap man because you will always feel cheated. He’s buying what he wants while you get crappy birthday gifts, c’mon sis, it’s a hustle! Love costs! No matter how sweet a guy is or how loyal, If you see every other woman getting new things while you dig in your pockets, you will resent that man. Avoid this problem early. If you can’t point to this man investing his money in you, then it will never work.
Failing Effort: The moment a man tells you “no” or tells you “I’ll see,” then he proves he’s cheap and needs to be replaced with someone who recognizes your worth. You can’t force a stingy man to spend money once he’s already fucked you. Once your pussy is no longer considered a new conquest, the real him comes out. If you’re asking for shoes or money towards your car repair and he denies you or feeds you an excuse, the writing is on the wall. Don’t look at what a man does, what he wears, what he buys himself. We, as men, will always spoil ourselves, so it’s not about being frugal. Look at what a man is giving to you without asking and even when you do ask. If you’re not able to get your rent paid by the man you’ve dated and slept with, or if you are in a relationship and can’t get money for shopping, then what are you doing with your life? It’s not about what you can afford on your own. It’s about how much he values you. If you can’t rely on your man to spoil you, then what’s the point of having one?
Is he sexually equipped to keep you satisfied for years to come?
Passing Effort: Your man should be able to satisfy you beyond the honeymoon stage, he should be willing to keep things interesting, fun, and take pride in discovering what gets you to that next level. When you’re young, you just wanted to be bent over and fucked savagely, but as you get older, you’re going to want levels to that orgasm, you’re going to want special occasion type of sex, and that same old same old won’t cut it. You need a man that can keep up. Your man should be creative, he should be open to listen and learn you, and it shouldn’t be all about his nut. Sexual energy is felt, it keeps growing, can you honestly says he has that?
Failing Effort: When you first start sleeping together, you know where that new guy ranks compared to your exes or one night stands or guys you deleted from your body count. If his dick is trash out of the gate, why waste your time? If he can’t eat pussy to save his life, why waste time? If you’re not sexually attracted to him or your body is tensing up, not getting as wet as it usually gets, then that’s an issue you don’t ignore just because he’s super nice and buys you things. A relationship without good sex will crumble eventually.
For those of you in long-term relationships, you already know that Pussy Expires. The man that used to run up in you with a rock-hard dick may lick you twice, throw his semi-hard bird in, cum and go back to playing Xbox. You may not get his best effort, but he’s on his phone beating off to the BussItChallenge, because your pussy is expired. Never be afraid to call a man out, not shame him, but call him out in terms of effort or trying to help him get that passion back. However, if you see that he doesn’t want to try that he’s content with hardly any sex or just being a trash lay, then that’s the Universe telling you that you need to move on.
It’s shallow to leave because of money, it’s shallow to leave because of sex, it’s shallow to leave because he’s busy and doesn’t have time to be romantic. You know who says that bullshit? Unhappy women who didn’t leave and are now stuck with a cheap ass man who hasn’t made her nut since Fetty Wap had a hit. I told you at the top that you have power, and that power is choice!
There is always another…
Think about the man you’re currently with, or if you’re single, keep this handy for the next time you start dating. Either way, the point is to add it all up and see if this man passes more than he fails. Not every man can be perfect. Being picky isn’t about wanting something unreasonable. It’s about wanting something exceptional. A man with money but isn’t cheap, a man who is ambitious but knows when to slow down and make time for you, these things are asking for Unicorns. This isn’t about fleeting looks or how tall a guy is, that’s stupid shit. It’s about how he treats you. Be picky when it comes to treatment, always. Use this list. Screengrab it. Print it out. Hang it on your door. Whenever you date, you must use your mind to manifest a clear vision of a worthy partner, and that kind of visualization starts with looking at your life and being able to tell who currently deserves to stay and who deserves to go.
The man you’re dating or you’re so in love with probably gets a failing grade, and that’s not his fault. It’s yours for hanging on and settling out of comfort or fear. You know he’s not the one for you. You know that there will always be more good times than bad times. You know that you’re settling for what you can get because you don’t have the energy to get what you want. The time for being tired is over. The only thing stopping you from manifesting a better option is that disease of the mind called “doubt.” Erase that fear, take a risk on someone new, and bet on yourself!