How do you date at a high level, avoiding the fuck boys and securing a quality man? How do you turn your relationship around from ready to break up to back in love? How do you hit reset with that “friend” who has begun to lose interest in you? I talk about these things often, and I have countless examples of how women have won by paying attention to the blueprints on this site… but you’re not one of those women. Look at your life. You’re still confused by the things men do and can’t exercise control over them because every time you meet one that’s handsome, your panties flood and your common sense malfunctions. How many times are you going to lose before you take this help I’m offering seriously?
“Yeah, G.L.’s book said to do this, but my man is different, so I’m going to do it 40% his way and 30% another person’s way, and make up the rest…” And you wonder why your love life isn’t popping? You should be dating top-shelf men. You should be in relationships where you aren’t arguing. You should be living your best life and secure in your skin with a man who values you because he sees that you’re a fucking Spartan, not a Placeholder. Instead, you’re making excuses for being single or trapped in a toxic relationship with a man who can’t wait to find a Game Changer so he can drop your ass.
Fuck where to go on a first date, you should be learning why you can’t get to a second date, Basica. Your mouth says, “What man wouldn’t want me,” but the receipts of your life prove that no one is willing to commit you after they get to know you. You’re not Bae, you’re the girl in his phone he only hits up when the cooler one doesn’t text back. You’re out here dating blind to your trauma and flaws, thinking because you have a cute face all will be forgiven. There are too many women with the total package for men who aren’t damaged goods to settle for you.
Do you know how to turn a man on with conversation? Do you know how to make a man respect you enough not to cheat? Do you know how to come off as a woman who needs to be chased and locked down because she’s rare? No. All you know is your little basic bitch routine. You’ve been dating the same way since you were 18. Asking the same questions, texting with the same dryness, and giving up pussy to the same clowns who tell you what you want to hear. When you look in the mirror, you see a trophy, but that woman is that what you bring to your love life? You’re not showing trophy energy, you’re showing “take your turn” energy and it’s time to do better.
Today is the article that each one of you needs. 7 things you need to check off before you go on any date or before you try to repair any relationship. This list goes from the first date, to the relationship stage, but first we’ll start with the thing men put the most energy into…
Men Hate Dry Sex
Sex is the single most important thing for a man in the early stage of a relationship. Every move he’s making during the dating stage is a calculated plan where he’s trying to figure out how to make you like him enough to have sex sooner rather than later. Any man that tells you he isn’t after sex, or it isn’t that important, is a fucking liar. Even if he’s not trying to sleep with you right away, it’s still in the front of his mind. Don’t bullshit yourself. The right man will get you to have sex before you enter a relationship or, at the latest, during the week you make it official, and that’s where you fumble the relationship.
Post-sex is where most of you will lose a man’s interest. To hear you tell it a whiff of your vagina could bring peace to the middle east, but the receipts of your life show that multiple men have sampled your goods, then moved on. He got busy at work, so you decided to cut him off because of the lack of attention. He started acting crazy and talking like a stalker after you blessed him, so you blocked him. Or, my favorite, you both agreed that you weren’t compatible and moved on. Do you hear that sound ringing? It’s the bullshit detector going off. These men fuck you, then sabotage the relationship because putting the ball in your court to leave him alone is safer than ghosting you. Males have played this game since high school, and we know all the variations to break free after we fuck a girl who didn’t impress us in a way where we negate the emotional fallout… and maybe even leave the door cracked so we can at least fuck you again if we ever get down bad. Your pussy was wet, but every thing else was dry, so why would we glue ourselves to you when we could go get better?
Basica Example: Four dates in, and you finally allow him to come over to your place. You two have amazing sex. He gave you bomb head, and you even woke up and did it again at 4 a.m. It’s been a minute since you got dick like this, and you can get used to this life. The next day, he passes the asshole test by calling you instead of ghosting. Next weekend, your ego is on fire because he wants to see you again. BUT… after the next hook-up, things begin to get weird. This man, who was looking like husband material, now seems preoccupied and distracted. You try to be there for him, but he’s giving you that stank “boy attitude” where you know something’s wrong, but he lies and says he’s fine, then gets smart with you for asking in the first place. *Gas Lighting Alert* You don’t want to go back and forth and turn something small into a fight, so you give him some time to cool off.
The problem is you’re sprung and can’t stop thinking about him! You miss him and reach out a few days later to check in, and he’s now acting dry or busy. It’s happened. The man you thought was going to be special just showed his ass, and you don’t know why. This is what we men refer to as the Push-Off. We engineer a small beef that gets you out of our lives so we can move on to the next woman… But why did a man who went on all these dates with you and acted like you were special suddenly fall off… look down and open your legs.
You can’t fuck, beloved. I will bet money that you have a Corpse Bride Coochie, meaning you fuck with the energy of a Zombie. Lay back and let him put in work while you lightly moan or repeat the same generic “yes” or “yes, baby.” 42 times. The sex wasn’t bad, but you’re shy and this is the most you’re comfortable giving. Even in long relationships, you didn’t do too much unless you had too much wine. “But G.L., I’m a sub, not a dom,” don’t lie to me, submissives bring a specific kink into the bedroom, all you’re serving is a stationary wet hole. Your back shots sound like Zzzzzz, not Bongos, and life’s too short to commit to a woman who is already fucking like she’s in a stale marriage.
But he ate it, he came, he wanted more the next week—that doesn’t mean shit. A man can come with his hand and a Rubi Rose video on mute. It’s not about the finish it the EXPERIENCE. You weren’t fun. He ate your pussy to get you as hot as possible, hoping you would come out of your shell. He stroked you in all kinds of ways to see if you would switch up your moan or do something different to show him you weren’t in a diabetic coma. Men know that women tend to be shy the first time, and we don’t judge the first performance because, let’s face it, males cum too quick or drink too much, which leads to us throwing weak dick. He gave you a rematch the next week to see if it was just an off day—but there you were, another round of you whispering and flopping like you have low blood sugar.
As a result of this continued Corpse Bride Coochie performance, he ghosted, sabotaged, or demoted you on the roster as a backup bitch, only to fuck again in case of emergencies. Don’t get triggered by this, get inspired! Pussy has power, but all yours is getting is an Uber back home. What’s stopping you from snatching a man’s soul? Ignorance. You need to understand the three fundamentals of having Hypnotic Pussy. Let’s count them down so you can stop embarrassing yourself…
Number 1: The 2nd Gear Trick. This is where you wait for a man to increase his own effort or move into his next position, and then you start reacting like he did something. For instance, if he was giving you short pumps then switches to long strokes, grip the small of his back or the front of his stomach as if he just hit that spot. This strokes his ego and tells him to do more of that.
Number 2: The Talk. You need more than a boring moan to reach the next level of ego-stroking. If you’re in an established relationship, there is no limit to the sexual shit talk that can come out of your mouth. However, if this is your first few rounds of sex, you want to ease into the verbal foreplay. Unlike a couple who’s been together for a year, you can’t say challenging things like, “Fuck me harder or I’m going to give your pussy away,” or next-level nasty things like, “cum in me, fill this pussy up,” because it’s way too soon to be giving this man that level of intimacy. Instead, you must aim your words at things that show him that he isn’t getting with the girls on his roster. Your words should be pointed at how he’s making you feel, “Fuck, you’re trying to make me cum fast.” Or “I’m about to make a mess on your dick” are signs that he’s doing a good job, and he should keep going. It’s like giving a horse a smack on the ass, an incentive to finish the race, not just trot to the finish line.
Number 3: Fuck Back. You can’t be a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets if you don’t actually put in work in those sheets. You think fucking back is wrapping your legs around a man and closing your eyes while he thrusts. Nah. You need to wait for a slowdown in his strokes, and flip the position, and ride that dick! Throw it back and twerk on that dick until he has to pull out. You’re not making love. You’re fucking. It’s fast and furious, and your objective is to make him bust quicker than he wanted so he knows you’re not for play!
Men Hate When You Table Brag
What do you bring to the table? Why would a man choose you over the other women on his roster? What would make him not turn his head when he’s introduced to another woman a few weeks after meeting you? The Basica response would be, “Because I’m that bitch, and none of these other girls can do what I do.” That’s a trick question because when you go on a first date, second date, or even a 10th date, you should never be concerned with impressing a man. Confidence is a silent wave that smacks people in the face by the way you act, not by the things you say. Anyone who needs to brag about what they have or what they’ve done is an imposter trying to convince you that they’re bigger than what they truly are. Don’t fall into that trap.
Basica Example: Ms. Table goes on a first date with some guy who checks her boxes, looks, finances, and maturity. Having rarely come across a man she actually considered a catch, she doesn’t know how to act on this date. The date blueprint goes from being a Spartan to devolving into a typical anxious woman who has to list her best features like she’s working at a Kia dealership. The question that 9 out of 10 men will ask, “So, tell me about yourself,” leads to your anxiety going into overdrive.
Your school history, complete with awards or internships—so you can prove to him you’re educated. The places you’ve visited and the ones that are on your list next—so you can prove you’re cultured. Your current job, business idea, or anything that signals that you are making good money. It doesn’t matter if you went to Harvard or only finished High School. Suppose you’re making six figures a year or have an account about to hit overdraft, you have to paint your life as incredible because your mind is stuck on “If I don’t come off as better than every other woman, he won’t like me.”
A successful man wants to know who you are, not what you do. You can be an unemployed woman who only brings pussy and jokes to the table, and that will take you further than listing your credentials. Why? because the male and female playbook is not the same. I once knew a woman who said, “I’m dating a guy who owns his own chauffeur company, and he once drove Timbaland to an awards show.” Men will make being an Uber driver seem like a celebrity job, and women like the one who said that will fuck them because of the way he spins his job as “special.” However, a man isn’t clout chasing and could care less about a woman who brags in that kind of way. Males aren’t thirsting for a woman with fame, degrees, or wealth—they’re smitten by their personality first and foremost.
Are you witty? Can you give a joke and take a joke? Are you stuck up or down to earth? And fuck the trips you took unless you’re trying to send a pic in the bikini you wore. Ladies, we as men, are simple creatures. We want good conversation, fun vibes, and sexual chemistry. He’s not looking to start a company with you. He’s looking for a companion he can be himself around. If you want to be the woman a man is smitten by instead of bored by, then stop bragging about what you bring to the table and show him how your table is already set up. Secure, funny, interesting topics to discuss, and pointed questions to ask him. That’s how a confident Spartan dates because she doesn’t need to impress a soul.
Men Hate When You Try To Be A Mind Reader
The top reason a great first date never materializes into a second date is because of miscommunication. The date went well, but you didn’t want to text him the next day because that feels like chasing. The date went well, but he made a comment after the date that didn’t sit right with you, so you decided not to block him. He asked if you were free this weekend, and you replied with something weird like “maybe,” Now he’s moved on to someone who isn’t so cryptic.
Ladies, you don’t know this man for real, and he doesn’t know you. The sarcasm, the jokes, and half-ass planning can rub one of you the wrong way, and it all ends before it can truly start. Some of you are shy, and being direct with someone you’re starting to like can cause anxiety. You don’t know if you should text them first or wait. Grow the fuck up. If you want a person, act like it. All this wait-and-see is why you are one date and done with someone who could have been your Game Changer. You want love but are terrified to go for what you want. Make it make sense, Basica?
Basica Example: You had an amazing first date and even planned to see each other again on Friday. You text all week about how you can’t wait to meet up again. Thursday comes, and he doesn’t text you—wtf? Is he okay? Is he dead? Does he have another girl? Fuck! Does he have a wife who saw your texts? Your mind goes through all these crazy thoughts trying to make sense of this one day without a text because you have unchecked anxiety… The next day, he texts you with the place he’s picked out for your date and the time. You have a panic attack because you had already canceled him in your mind for not reaching out the day before. You come up with an excuse as to why you can’t meet up now, or even worse, you ignore his text and stand him up. Instead of hitting him up on Thursday or Friday morning and asking if you were still on, you assumed the worst. Why? Because you’re more emotionally unstable than an Oliva Rodrigo song.
A man can’t read your mind, and you can’t read his mind, so instead of assuming anything, reach out and fucking get answers from the source. Stop ruining everything and everyone that tries to love you! If you enjoyed the date, text him the next day. If you want to know what he’s doing, text him in that moment. If he was inconsistent with his communication after being consistent, you reward that consistency by giving him the benefit of the doubt, not cutting him off mentally. The problem is that you’re afraid to be hurt, so you run away at the first sign of confusion instead of clearing the air.
When I first met my wife, I called the wrong number in my phone, thinking it was hers, and didn’t get an answer. Instead of saying, “fuck her for giving me the wrong number,” I double-checked and called her two weeks later, apologizing and explaining the situation so she wouldn’t think I wasn’t interested. The point is miscommunication is a part of the early dating stage, so instead of trying to be a mind reader, be proactive and go for what you want.
Men Hate A Forensic Files Type Chick
What’s worse than coming to men with assumptions or blocking them based on your fantasies that he’s done you wrong? Coming to men with internet receipts and accusations. 1st world problems include having so much time on your hands that you go through a guy’s social media following looking for proof that he’s up to no good and he’s not even your boyfriend. You don’t want to ask a man something directly about his past, but you will spend hours looking through the internet or trying to sneak looks at his phone because your past is filled with betrayal. “I have a feeling…” Yeah, and that feeling is called PTSD. Women who have been played will always be paranoid going forward. This isn’t some magical female intuition, Basica. It’s a trauma response meant to protect you from pain. The irony is if you have to sneak behind a person’s back to see if they’re being honest with you, that means that you aren’t being honest yourself. Once they find out what you’re up to, the entire relationship crumbles because even if you found nothing, how can he ever trust you?
Basica Example: You’ve been seeing a guy for over a month, and you’re falling way too hard too soon… as usual. Because you’re over-liking him, your paranoia and jealousy are at an all-time high. Your “friend” usually sees you every weekend, but this weekend, he didn’t plan anything and said he was spending time with family. Because males in your world have never been family-orientated, you don’t like the sounds of that. Come Saturday night, you’re bored in the house and can only think about him because, unlike a Spartan, you have centered your life around this boy before he’s even your husband, let alone boyfriend. Because you’re obsessed with too much time on your hands, you begin to go through his social. Then you go through his friend’s pages until you finally come across a page with a story. There it is: the guy you’ve been dating for a month out at a club with girls in the background. You’re devastated. He lied. He’s fucking all these bitches. He doesn’t really like you the way he pretended. Next, you put on your favorite heartbreak song, and you block his number, then unblock him, then block him again—like a lunatic.
When he does hit you up, telling you he misses you, the cold shoulder comes out. You’re distant, dry, and want him to know that he fucked up, but you’re too passive-aggressive to admit why you’re mad. Eventually, you get the courage to confront him with, “So what did you do with your family at the club on Saturday?” He’s confused but lets you in on the fact that his cousin had just gotten out of the military, and you and some friends took her to the club. Now you feel silly. But the damage is done because he knows you were spying and violating a relationship that hasn’t even found its footing.
Ladies, you’re not a fucking detective. I know you’re able to find people online and take pride in being able to connect some dots, but what’s the point of any of that bullshit? If you’re dating someone, ask questions to their face, ask for clarity to their face, and express your own insecurities and past trauma to their face. You’ve been hurt, okay, but being sneaky isn’t going to heal that pain, and if they are doing something suspicious, there are plenty of other, more direct ways to test it. What do you think this entire website is for!? To help you vet men because doing it in this sneaky way does more harm than good. No man wants an internet detective as a serious girlfriend. We know when you’re snooping, we know when you’re trying to go through phones, and we are always paying attention to how much time you spend online and can put two and two together. Keep this up, and the next thing you’ll be looking up online is his engagement to the girl he met after he ghosted your paranoid ass.
Men Hate Women Who Compete With Their Friends
One gender stereotype I never liked was “Bros Before Hos,” this idea that men are supposed to put friendship over relationships, but there is a nugget of truth in that saying. Men in the dating or early relationship stage rarely center women in their worlds. Money, brotherhood, hobbies, then girls are usually the pecking order unless a man is void of the first three and simps out for women 24-7. Men have other interests ranging from video games to sports to side hustles and fitness. Yes, getting women is on our minds a lot, and we’ll do all kinds of dramatic shit in the name of pussy, but in normal everyday life, it’s not the center of the universe. Chasing money, going out with friends, or staying in and chilling with friends. It’s most likely that the guy you date will have a close group of friends that take up a lot of his time. So, what happens when you come into the picture? Nothing… and that’s where the drama comes in.
Some women will stop hanging with their BFFs, cling to a man she isn’t even official with, and won’t understand why he doesn’t want to be up under her all the time. There is no such thing in pop culture as “Sis over Dick” because men tend to come first. Some women only see their friends when their boyfriends are busy. That tells you all you need to know about who is more obsessed with whom. However, obsession doesn’t correlate to love. By not having a life outside of your man and expecting him to follow suit, it’s not about love. It’s about insecurity, fear, and control. If he’s with you, no one can take him from you, no one can turn his head, and he doesn’t have time to rethink your relationship.
Basica Example: You’re in an official relationship with a guy who’s been everything you’ve ever wanted. The one issue that annoyed you during dating is that he has a tight group of friends who he sees once or twice a week, and during those times, he’s unresponsive to your texts, which makes you worry about what he actually does with those guys. In your mind, if you’re hanging out with your girls, you can always text him, and you will always say “goodnight” once you are home. So why is it different for him? You’ve mentioned this somewhat, but you didn’t want to fight, so you’ve let it slide for the most part. Now that you’re official, you feel emboldened. You’re going to lay down the law that if he hangs with his friends, it must be under your rules. You can’t cage an eagle, and you find out the hard way that he won’t do anything you’re asking, leading to an argument that breaks you up. You tell your friends, “He chose his boys over me,” but that’s not the truth—he chose freedom over you, which is a huge difference.
Ladies, a man being out three nights a week with his friends partying like he’s 19 is unacceptable. Still, a man hanging out once or twice or having group activities like watching sports, card games, or any traditional event that was in place before he met you isn’t going to stop. It’s not about who he would rather spend time with because it’s not a competition. He’s not fucking his friends, his friends are not introducing him to new women, and he’s not using his friends to cover for an affair. If any of those things were true, there would be plenty of other signs and inconsistencies. Do you really think you’re not intelligent enough to figure out if someone has another woman? Even in past situations, if you got fooled or cheated on, it’s because you ignored it, not because you couldn’t figure it out.
The first step to correcting this problem is to develop a life outside of your man. How you feel about your boyfriend’s social life is a direct reflection of your lack of a social life. Why do you want to stay home with him instead of going off and having fun yourself? Do you think guys will try and get your number when you go out? Do you think your friends will introduce you to a new man who may turn your head? Do you think he will get jealous and break up with you for going out to happy hour? Just because you’re comfortable in a prison of your own insecure making doesn’t mean he will be. Men need a masculine outlet, a type of fun where they can truly unwind without having to watch what they say. Yes, you can be his “best friend,” but you can’t be his only friend.
Men Hate Women Who Have Low Self Esteem
What are you looking for in a relationship? “Nothing serious, just exploring what’s out here, trying to make a connection,” smiles the Basica as she lies through her teeth. When a woman dates with this idea that she can’t get what she wants, it projects this low vibrational energy that screams Pick Me. You’re not a ring chaser. You’re a cool, do-whatever type of girl, which entices a man to want to get to know you because you aren’t going to pressure him. In reality, you want him to love you, wife you, and fill that hole you’ve had your entire life. You’re not fooling anyone. Men roll their eyes when a woman tries to fake like she’s about whatever because it’s only going to take a few dates for you to get clingy, regardless of what your mouth is saying.
Telling a man what you want upfront shows him you’re secure and honest. Men marry bitches or confident women who aren’t afraid to set their intentions because even though they can be a pain in the ass, their self-esteem is high, and they know that kind of woman will be a challenge for years to come. Who wants some indecisive woman who doesn’t think she deserves love and accepts a situationship? Who wifes a woman who has a history of being dogged out because she thinks she deserves pain? Who would ever love a woman who will drag them down in the mud emotionally with her constant need for reassurance?
Basica Example: You’re on a 2nd date and get comfortable enough to talk about your ex-boyfriend. How he cheated on you multiple times, how you kept taking him back, and how he finally ended things and left you destroyed to the point where you took a year off from dating. In your mind, this story is meant to inform this man of the pain you’ve been through and why you’re single currently. In reality, this man is thinking, “Oh, she’s one of those dumb bitches.” Men don’t judge women for being victimized by a cheating man’s heart, but they do judge you for putting up with repeatedly. Revealing that you’re the type to hold on to a man despite his bad behavior lowers you in his eyes, and if he’s a predator, it makes him salivate because now, he knows he can repeat the same thing.
“Why would he hurt me when he knows what I’ve been through?” Information is power, and when you open up to a man with how you’ve been burned instead of showing him how you’ve grown stronger, what do you think will happen? Exploiters exploit women like you, and quality men distance themselves. A man doesn’t want damaged goods representing him in these streets or rocking his last name. He wants either a strong woman who was never broken or a woman who is so healed you can’t see her scars. Why do they fuck you and then toss you back? Because he’s not trying to have kids nor marry a weak bitch who some dusty has run through and ruined. That makes him feel like he’s gotten a woman from TJ Max, not Tiffany’s. Broken men and narcissists love damaged women for obvious reasons, but any man that you meet who isn’t trouble will think twice about committing to you because of your past as a punching bag.
Keep your hurt to yourself, and instead of venting about what you’ve been through, talk about where you are and what you don’t accept now. These men shouldn’t know about your abusive childhood, bad relationships, or anything that paints you as being victimized until they have earned those stories down the line. Context is key. If they have gotten to know you and see that you’re no-nonsense and don’t accept mistreatment, then the respect will be there. If you continue to lie about what you want, tell stories about how you’ve been hurt, and act like a woman who always thinks she’s going to lose, then that will always translate into a hard pass for any man with high standards.
The Formula
This list isn’t about being the perfect woman who can submit and placate a man. It’s about self-work. You do multiple things on this list, whether you want to admit it or not, and because you have holes in your game, your romantic results are inconsistent. Recognize the part you play in your failure to find love. You think everyone is out to hurt you or betray your trust, but that’s not your intuition. That’s your past trauma fumbling your future. You claim you’re ready to date, but when you meet someone decent, you push them away over imagined Red Flags. It’s ironic that the people you should have pushed away, you welcomed with open arms because you love to fix the toxic ones. Loving people who aren’t capable of loving you back is your kink. Meanwhile, you chase away quality people because you don’t think you’re good enough to sustain a healthy relationship. “They want me until they find out I’m crazy,” You’re not crazy, you’re broken! You have PTSD that you refuse to deal with, and nothing will change until you get help.
Therapy, self-help, meditation, and mindfulness are tools to make you a stronger woman who can correct years of bad habits. Being overly shy, having low self-esteem, anxiety attachment issues, and even mediocre bedroom performances will derail your romantic potential and get you labeled as basic or typical. Don’t be stubborn, don’t assume that you’re amazing, look at your life right now, look at the results, and recognize that from this day forward, you need to study the above list. Mix it with my Date Like A Spartan book, and attack the game like a fucking winner, not some confused little girl. Evolve now or settle forever.
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