Most reality shows are overly scripted bullshit, but I find the Bad Girls Club to be sadly honest when it comes to portraying women who simply don’t give a fuck what you think of them. Yes, they’re acting out and showing their ass for the cameras for a quick 15 minutes of fame, but aside from the attention whoring, it does manage to uncover some of the worst qualities in females that some women refuse to own up to. One episode centered around the Persian chick dick hunting for a guy with dreads. She finally finds her perfect man, only to have the Black chick slide right in and get Mr. Dreads. The BGC’s take on this epidemic was a bit extra (and hella ratchet), but every girl, basic or classy, has witnessed a female clit blocking another female for various reasons. What really happens when two girls like the same guy or a guy likes your friend instead of you? I can ask 10 women that question and I’d bet my car that all 10 women would answer with some politically correct bullshit like “Dick isn’t that serious, there’s too many men out here to be fighting over it,” because no one wants to be “that girl” whose caught looking crazy over cock. Let’s keep it real. I’ve seen college educated women come to blows over “she knew I was talking to him” crap. These were women who knew each other for years fighting over a guy they both met that week! It’s one thing to be territorial, but for the life of me I do not understand why women fight over something as replaceable as a man they barley know. Men are constantly competing with other men for new pussy. From the time we’re in middle school we’re jockeying for position at the lunch table. When the pretty little chick with the glittery trapper keeper chooses to sit by our friend at lunch we don’t talk shit about him behind his back, we don’t get passive aggressive, we accept the fact that she choose him and wait our turn. If my boy sees me talking to a chick one day and the next day he’s talking to her do I flip out and start calling him disloyal or take to Facebook to slander his name? Hell no. That’s not my chick, she didn’t commit herself to me, she was just a girl I was trying to get with. Women, however, tend to battle it out either openly or passively. 
Flirting isn’t that serious, talking on the phone isn’t that serious, making out isn’t that serious! Obviously he approached her and she liked what he was serving. Am I disappointed that she is now talking to a guy I know? Of course. Do I let my bruised ego turn me into a crybaby and begin to call her all kinds of sluts and hoes? Hell no. Until someone says “hey that’s my girl” she’s a free agent. That girl can talk to whoever she wants to, she doesn’t owe a guy an explanation even if they have been talking for a week. Going after the same girl is Madden to real niggas. A game that we get mad over when we’re playing against each other, but after it’s over we’ll dap each other up and say good game. Fucking with someone’s actual girl is cause to pop the trunk, but when she’s still seen as “that girl I’m trying to skeet” you can’t get mad.

A lot of women don’t seem to have this sense of friendly competition. Everything is taken way too personal.That’s my sloppy seconds. She a nasty hoe. I ain’t want him anyway. You were clearly riding this man’s dick two nights ago, now you’re screaming to everyone in sight how you didn’t want him? That shit reeks of bitterness. What’s so hard about shrugging your shoulders and saying, “he chose her over me, fuck it”? It doesn’t mean that you are less attractive or that he sees her as easier. Take it from me, sometimes the homegirl is more our speed because our personalities match up better. I want to smash both of you, of course I’m going to flirt back and forth with the two of you until I figure out which one I’m better suited for. Dating is a game of matchups. No matter how sexy you are, mentally prepare yourself for the fact that one day you won’t match up well with some guy and he will choose another girl over you for whatever reason. If you are secure with what you bring to the table it shouldn’t matter, it’s his loss. Don’t cry foul and blame another female, know that not every guy you meet is going to think you’re as cool as other men do and accept it.

When hanging out with friends, associates, or random girls you don’t even know, remember one rule when engaging the opposite sex: You Can’t Call Dibs On Dick.

Multiple Choice: An attractive guy enters the room. You and your friends size him up. Let’s say Tina is single, Krista is ugly, and Vicki has a man. Tina thinks she gets dibs on this guy by default. The other girls may even urge Tina to go talk to him because they know she hasn’t met anyone in a long time. Since most women can’t go to the bathroom to piss alone let alone engage a stranger in conversation without their friends, Tina drags Krista and Vicki over. In her mind they pose no threat, and they’ll be good at breaking the ice. Poor disillusioned, overconfident Tina… You cannot give a man Multiple Choices. You may think Krista’s ugly but he sees those D cups or that big ass, and that’s all he cares about. You’re a 10 and she’s a 6– in your mind, not his. Vicki has a boyfriend, of course she’s off limits. Wrong. Vicki is the worst because nobody, and I mean nobody, flirts harder than people who are already in relationships. Vicki may not have any intention on cheating, but she’s going to lay it on thick because she wants to test her game and see if she still has what it takes to make a nigga go crazy. Even if Vicki isn’t responsive to the guy, he’s going to be on her heavy because a woman with a man is the ultimate prize. Men don’t want some single lady who hasn’t dated in 3 months; we want a girl who’s already got the proven formula and the challenge of taking her from her man. Tina brought along a girl she thought was ugly and forbidden fruit and got burnt. Now she’s calling her cousin talking about “Girl, bitches is scandalous, I’m only dealing with family from now on“. Bitches aren’t scandalous, bitches are human. We all like attention, we all want to be the most interesting person in the room. Those girls don’t owe Tina any favors, how dumb is it to say, “Oh I can’t have a conversation with you because my friend over there thinks you’re cute” Any time you talk to someone new there is a chance of a connection, why sabotage that? Tina doesn’t own her crush, hell she’s not even leasing him! There is no rule that says if I talked to him first, you can’t talk to him next. He’s a man not an ice cream cone, you don’t lick him and say “Aha, now it’s mine!”   If you put choices in front of a man thinking you’re the illest chick in the room you’re begging for that hubris to bit you in the ass.

Just To Make You Mad: Take a moment to think about this. Clown ass dudes have gotten laid because one girl dislikes another. Grown ass women have fucked men in order to spite other grown ass women. Am I the only one that sees that as totally insane? I understand that the bonds of sisterhood are nearly nonexistent in the 21st century, but to date a guy or have sex with a guy under the pretense of, “I’m going to show this bitch” is the biggest hoe act in the history of hoedom. How is giving him the ass going to make her cry into her pillow at night? I have seen college roommates get embroiled in a blow job battle over one of the filthiest guys on campus. I remember this one girl who shot me down several times, finally giving me her number after she found out I was talking to a girl that lived on her street. Women go to war over dick yet it has nothing to do with dick. The man means nothing to these women, he’s probably neither one’s type, but in the battle of ratchet supremacy females with low self-esteem judge each other by who can keep a dude’s attention the longest. Really??? You’re letting some loser hit it from the back, but you’re thinking about the girl who he’s probably going to fuck tomorrow… brilliant. Here’s an idea, If you’re going to go after a guy, go after him because you like what you see, not because you hate who you see him with.

Girls Get Thirsty Too: Spartans don’t chase men, men chase them. Let’s say Bassica is on the dance floor slow grinding on this guy while you’re at the bar sipping something that isn’t a dessert wine. He’s not focused on her, he’s watching you. All it takes is the slightest smile to make that guy forget about the basic bitch backing it up on him and focus on “how can I talk to her”. That’s power. If he comes over and talks to you of course she’s going to be mad, she tried every stripper move her mama taught her to get his dick hard and he jetted after the song ended in order to buy you a drink. This happens every weekend. A girl who was trying way too hard and acting way too thirsty gets passed over for a Magneto Mami, one of those chicks that just has a pull when it comes to men. If you’re still talking to a guy after you give him your phone number… you’re doing too much. He’s already got you, he’s going to call you tomorrow, unless you’re trying to get tossed up in the vomit drenched rest room why are you continuing to hug his nuts after the numbers have been exchanged? The more you hover around him the more you turn him off. He’s in a room full of women who are dressed to erect why would he continue to talk to something he’s already bagged? Do your little dance; give him your number, and then move on to the next dude. Getting fingered in the club does not make him your boyfriend. Kissing him in the shadows does not make him your boyfriend. You came out to have fun and possibly meet someone, do you! As soon as the DJ switches the song to “She Will” that nigga is going to move on to the next PYT and proceed to holla at her the same way he holla’d at you. That’s what being out is about—meeting new people, not meeting one person and stopping. If you see the guy you gave your number to forty minutes later and he’s kissing on another girl’s neck or buying her a drink, don’t take off your shoes and get ready to throw hands like you’ve been trained by Laquisha Malaysia Pargo.  Don’t “accidentally” bump into the other girl trying to start an argument and don’t tell your girlfriends you don’t like her and proceed to jump her after the club lets out. Act like a lady, understand that he’s not your man, and better yet you’re not his girl. These ladies aren’t your enemy they’re here for the same reason you are, to meet someone.

No Man Is Worth it: No matter how much you scream that it’s not about the guy, when you hate on another woman by arguing, fighting, or talking behind her back you’re making it about the guy. A man is more likely to square up over a ten dollar craps bet than over a girl who was over his crib and ended up in the bathroom having sex with one of his goons. We care, but we don’t care enough to act a fool. I understand the competitive nature of a women kicks in when a guy walks in the room. I’m all for women saying “fuck that hoe, I’m going for mine” and pushing up on a guy, I think that shows character. But before you push up know the reason you’re doing it. It should be about you getting what you want, not you showing up the next chick. If you’re on the receiving end of a girl pushing up on a guy you were talking to, remember one thing before you scream disrespect and begin to make a scene—he has a mouth. That man can tell that random girl that he’s in the middle of a conversation with you and she should fall back. He can choose not to flirt back with your homegirl out of respect for you. If he’s going to allow another woman to distract him from you, then clearly he didn’t think you were worth his undivided attention in the first place. He’s going to let you two fight over him because he’s looking like a pimp, while you two are looking like idiots. Is he worth that?

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