Get your popcorn ready. A few months back this girl wrote me with the most epic cautionary tale. The girl– let’s call her Kay, met this guy– let’s call him Jay, at an upscale event. Jay was a polished and professional business owner, but despite his lavish lifestyle, she didn’t get open off the whining and dining. She dated Jay for four months and during that time she fell for him pretty hard. She thought enough time had passed that she could let down her guard and have sex with him and then this happened:

Last Thursday, we went to one of my favorite restaurants. I had a great time. I was feeling it. He knew it too, and knew when we got back to my place it was about to go down. (I mean I hadn’t had sex in four months!) So he dropped me off at the door and “went to look for a parking spot.” I came upstairs to my apartment and waited to buzz him back in. It took a little longer than usual but street parking is ridiculous here, so it didn’t seem too suspect. Anyway, he rang the bell and I buzzed him in. Fast forward, we started fucking like rabbits. About 20minutes in, he stops and says “babe you hear something at the door?” And I say “no”. But he stops to “go check it out” but comes back, says he didnt see anything, and we keeping going.

When we were done, I got up to grab some water and I notice that ALL of my electronic shit is GONE: MacBook, iPad, iPhone, iMac, camera…. The only thing left was the big ass tv mounted on my wall. I WAS ROBBED. I looked at my door, there was no forced entry but it was unlocked. So immediately I thought, his dumb ass came to check the door when we were fucking and forgot to lock the door, then some bold nigga took the opportunity to rob me.

I called my best friend who stays across the hall to see if he saw anything. When I described the night, he was alarmed because when I told him about *** parking the car and coming up for us to have sex, he said it seemed strange because he saw *** coming into the building with two of his brothers. He thought I was having one of my usual house gatherings and that I invited all three of them over. So I’m guessing you’ve already came to the conclusion: yep, when that nigga stopped to “check out the sound heard at the door” he was really just unlocking the door for his brothers to come in to steal my shit while I was getting dicked down. Nigga was fucking me and stealing from me SIMULTANEOUSLY!!! The first time I fuck him, he robs me blind…

You don’t have to be morally damaged like me and @girlyousoextra to appreciate that nigga’s ingenious ruse. The crazy thing is this guy isn’t an anomaly, he’s the norm. Her story is extreme, but every day a relationship ends with a robbery. Kay had her ipad taken, most women have their dignity, trust, and sometimes virginity taken by scum like Jay. Don’t get me wrong, there are women out there that use and abuse men as well, but we men can hold our hats on, “I was foolish but at least I fucked”. I’m reading a biography on Chris Jericho, who’s as whitebread as they come, but has the life experience of a man twice his age. Many of Jericho’s stories touch on being played by women from around the globe because of his naiveté, but he looks back on those experiences with a smile because regardless of what went down he got the pussy. No Woman is going to look back on getting her feelings trampled on with a smile because no penis is worth feeling stupid. “Only dumb bitches get caught up” is boldface lie #6. Right now there are thousands of intelligent women being set up by men who aren’t half as smart. How is this possible? Is it the sex, the looks, or maybe they are criminal masterminds? I’m convinced that 98% of these heartbreakers aren’t Keyser fucking Söze, they’re regular guys who have one critical attribute—The Bullshit Factor.

The Art of Bullshit isn’t about how good your lie is, it’s about how convincingly you tell that lie. Female Hoes sell sex, Male Hoes sell dreams. If I am on my predator shit, I’m going to approach a girl I find promising, size her up, get to know her, and use that knowledge to exploit her ass. If she’s broke, she’ll probably get open if I tell her how much money I have. If she has money she’ll probably get open on how well read I am. If she’s ratchet she will probably get open once I buy her peach ciroc and talk in depth about the Bad Girls Club. Not all men are interesting, rich, and intelligent. So, like a Smilez and Southstar video, they have to fake it until they make it. “I’m Jim, I work at Macy’s and I share a one bedroom with my brother” isn’t going to make any panties moist. Therefore, it becomes, “I’m James, I’m a buyer for a major retailer, and I’m staying with my brother while I shop for a new condo“. This nigga James looks a lot more promising than Jim’s broke ass. He’s not making up a fantastic lie; he’s merely stretching the truth like Gabby Sidibe in a pair of S/M boyshorts in order to get your phone number. That right there is how Players game you.

WHY PLAY GAMES?

Sex, Money, and Lodging are the top reasons a man will play out a girl. Sex is obvious, we’re all after that even the good guys. Money is a long time hustle and takes a guy fluent in bullshit to pull it off on a large scale. It usually begins when the guy who’s gaming sells the girl on himself and all the big things he is doing and then he begins to slowly but surely ask for “help”. The first few times a Player will pay your loan back. It’s all game; he’s building faith so he can get deeper into your pockets. You let him hold a hundred dollars; he gives you back the hundred and takes you out to dinner. You don’t feel bad about “helping your man” because he’s looking out for you as well… at first. Next time its can I borrow three hundred… oh shit my car’s in the shop… five hundred… Then he calls in real trouble, now you’re hitting your family up for a few G’s. Next he creates some fake argument in order to break up with you. He’s gone with your money and your family’s talking shit behind your back about being a silly hoe. Lodging is the hustle no one talks about but it’s become the most prevalent because it allows you to get the sex and the money while she’s putting a roof over your head. Remember when moving in with someone was a big deal? Today niggas are quick to default on their lease as soon as they pull a girl who has her own place. It starts as temporary then he never leaves, but you don’t mind because you get to play housewife without a ring awwww. I had a homeboy who stayed in this girl’s college dorm for half the school year because he was piping the common sense out of one of her roommates– swag. The shit is insane how niggas will say they love you in order to get hot water and a soft bed. Regardless of his true objective, once a player gets his fill or the victim begins to see past the bullshit he makes up an excuse to end the relationship or flat out disappears. He learned what worked and what didn’t, and he’s off to play the game again. You’re left behind trying to figure out what went wrong.

Home girl who was robbed had her guard up from being hurt in her previous relationship. She was defensive and cynical, but Jay was patient and attentive, which eventually softened her up for the big hit. You can’t defend against a Player like you would defend against the run of the mill Thirsty guy. Thirsty niggas are not trying to play you; they’re trying to fuck, preferably on the first date. Players are much more suave than Thirsty niggas. They don’t have a timetable because they’re investing in something bigger than one nut. Some girls believe that the longer he hangs around the more he cares. “He hasn’t even pressured me for sex, he’s a good one” …wait right there while I laugh at you. Okay I’m back. Time does not bond you, communication does! We can be trapped in a coal mine for five days and if you’re not willing to open up to me, I won’t be calling you after we’re free to see how you’re doing, we’re as good as strangers. If we’re in that mine and you pour your life story out to me then I’m invested, we’re like family now. Deep conversation is how you bond with someone. Players don’t open up, they let you talk about your family, your job, your likes and dislikes. They’re researching you, not talking to you. Players will talk about themselves, but they won’t go beneath the surface because the first rule of playing someone is “Don’t get too close to your mark”. Jay spent 4 months getting to know Kay, but I bet Kay never really knew who that guy was beyond the basic info. Talking to someone and talking with someone are two different experiences; communication is a two-way street in a legit relationship.

KNOW THY ENEMY

Ya boo had a another girlfriend all this time. The love of your life suddenly changed his phone number. Your husband has another family complete with kids and a dog. This isn’t created by the producer’s of the Maury show, this shit is real life for a lot of women. How do you stop yourself from being played in the first place? The easy and unrealistic answer is “Don’t trust men”. No, that’s how you find yourself bitter as fuck and in debt from therapy. Education is power. Treat any guy you date like an SAT Prep book and study that bastard as if your future depends on it, because it does. You meet a guy, he talks a good game, cool. Now over the course of the next few weeks cross-examine his ass. Any reputable job checks the background references of their potential hires. Treat your vagina like it’s the most sought after job on the market and check that nigga’s credentials. Men aren’t going to want to give you personal details if they’re trying to play you. They want to stay mysterious that makes it easier to escape when the shit hits the fan. When you try and get close they’ll make you feel bad about interrogating them, don’t get caught up in that reverse psychology trick of “Let’s worry about us right now, not me back then“. A girl that doesn’t dig for information is a girl that’s waiting to be fucked over.

There are only so many lies you can tell before that shit collapses like a house of cards. A lie built on top of a lie isn’t going to hold up for two or three months, keep asking him hard questions and eventually cracks will begin to form if he’s not legit. “I knew something was funny about the things he was telling me” Then why didn’t you check his bullshit when your brain raised the red flag??? Common sense is better than X-Ray vision, stop being blinded by good looks or fast talk and start fingerprinting these niggas. Nosey is annoying, but it’s better to be annoying than to end up a sucker. Knowing his full name, where his mother lives, and his Facebook password doesn’t make you his girl. Everything you think a man should do to prove himself to a girl he likes, he knows you’re checking for. A Player will do all the little things girls put stock into just to appease you, he’s not proving anything by taking you to his family cookout, he’s playing the game. A man that’s really down for you goes the extra mile without you having to ask, he gives much more than he takes, and his life story is an open book. Listen to your brain, not your heart and always question his motives. If you think you’re being played by the man you’re with then chances are you’ve already been played.

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