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Before Jay-Z was GQ man of the year and husband of the all mighty, he was Shawn. Like most men with ambitions to be more than some local dude, Shawn needed two thing to succeed in life—confidence and drive. Our mothers tell us we can do anything, but it’s another female that often takes our confidence to another level. The Bottom Bitch. The Bottom Bitch is the reason you walk with a limp, she’s the reason that you don’t fear rejection from other girls, she created your swag. No matter what happens in your life, how broke you are, what other girl breaks your heart; she will be there to pick up the pieces. Bottom Bitches are chicken soup for the ego, and because of her we’re able to hold our heads high at our lowest moments. The funny thing about the Bottom Bitch is, once you get to your destination, she’s the first one to go. In “Song Cry” Jay-Z tells of a girl who was always there for him, “A nigga had very bad credit you helped me lease that whip…” but as soon as the money came he went for the girls that called him ugly, and forgot about the one that loved him despite the Camel features. That’s the life and death of a Bottom Bitch.

Be My Bottom Bitch

It’s Pinocchio without the Disney ending. You help create a man, only to watch him cut the strings and walk out of your life for greener pastures. Someone asked me a few months ago if being called a Bottom Bitch was a compliment. At the time I wavered, because to be his bottom means that he does love you, appreciate you, and need you. But it also means that your relationship with him has a time limit. No matter how much a man loves his Bottom Bitch, she’s McCarran International Airport, a fucking layover stop in route to the bright lights of a bigger city. Can a man settle down with his Bottom? Sure if he fails at life, then he’ll settle for her. The Bottom Bitch isn’t the foundation a house is built on; she’s more like training wheels. You need your bottom bitch to hold you up, but once you get your life in order, she has to go because all she’ll do is slow you down. Some girls run around proclaiming that they’re his bottom because they think it means they’re his main chick. You’re not a main chick, you’re a gas station. To be called a Bottom Bitch is far from cute and if you take pride in that shit then you’re beyond basic. The very existence of the term “Bottom” means that you have never been good enough to make him be monogamist. You’ve spent years holding a man down and he won’t even give up new pussy for you—you ma’am have failed.

Bottom Bitches Are Safety Nets

There will come a time when the girl you really likes breaks up with you. You’ll need someone who can restore your confidence, vent to, and have sex with while you’re in a slump. Look no further than that girl who’s always loved you. All men attempt to go back to ex-girlfriends, but BB’s are more than an ex, they’re a support system. Their love, however isn’t unconditional, it’s based on one thing– one day we will be together because you told me so. The two things boys learn as kids are how to do Ryu’s Hadouken and how to fool girls into thinking we go with them without actually saying, “I go with you. It’s the oldest trick in the book. Guys make up all kinds of excuses as to why you’re together but not really together because that leaves us free to move on to the girl we really want without being labeled a cheater. At the same time she won’t date anyone else because she’s in love with you. Treat a girl who’s not your girlfriend like she’s the love of your life and she will wait for the title forever, sounds silly but you’d be shocked at how well it works.

For example: Randy has been fucking with Anita since they were in 10th grade off and on, they’re like best friends, and in Anita’s mind now that Randy’s out of the military and has a good job he’s going to be with her like they always talked about. Randy needed Anita back when he was a little dusty boy whose moms was on crack. Anita brought him lunch, paid his school dues, hell she even taught him dick control. Randy feed Anita the “I want to be with you baby, but my money’s not right” lie. It’s one of the easiest lies to pull off and generally dictates that the reason we’re not together isn’t because I don’t love you, it’s because I wouldn’t be able to treat you to the things you deserve as my girl. Womp Womp. Did his money not being right stop him from running up in her raw every chance he got? Hell no, despite that excuse he still got boyfriend privileges, without the girlfriend hassle. Now that Randy’s grown and making some bread Anita thinks they’ll finally be together. HA! Randy doesn’t need that safety net as much so he stops coming around to see Anita. Next thing you know Randy gets some girl at work pregnant and Anita’s hurt like hell. Why would he do that to her? She was his bottom bitch; it was them against the world. Sit yo ass down. Randy sold his bottom bitch a dream, and because they had so much history and love between them, she brought it hook, line, and sinker. If you are my girlfriend that means I love you, if you’re my bottom bitch that means I love you for what you can do for me.

Bottom Bitches Are Loyal To A Fault

This girl wrote me an email once because her “man” was caught having sex with some girl. She wanted to know how to best get revenge. I told her to leave him. She replied that she was too in love, and technically they weren’t together. She didn’t want revenge on the guy she wanted revenge on the girl who didn’t even know about her. Confusing right? This girl was in an invisible relationship and expected all women to respect something that they didn’t know existed. That’s how blind a Bottom Bitch is. Everyone in your community knows that homie has been dicking you down for a minute, but when other girls ask him, “What’s up with you and your girl” he responds, “We’re just cool“. Next thing you know you’re trying to fight a girl over a dick that doesn’t even belong to you.  Are you crazy? Beating that girl up or Facebook bashing her isn’t going to change the fact that he doesn’t think you’re worth claiming in front of other women. I don’t care how many times he’s told you “I love you” or if he brought you some cheap ass bracelet for your birthday “Bottom Bitch” isn’t a relationship status. You have no say in who he sleeps with. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out how to make everything copacetic with your BB again. After the drama is over, go over to her crib, tell her how that girl didn’t mean anything, guilt her by saying, “all this time you’ve been my girl and now you going to let that bitch come between us?” She knows you’re full of shit, but she doesn’t want to lose you, so the game continues.

Bottom Bitches Always Answer The Phone

Remember Anita and Randy, if not your reading comprehension is all fucked up. So Randy had a baby and hasn’t talked to Anita in a year. He’s grown sick of his baby mom’s loose walls and wants something new. He could go out and hunt, but men are lazy so he goes back to the past. He calls Anita, she doesn’t answer. Instead, she paces in her crib wondering why he’s calling after all this time, secretly hoping that the mother and child both died in a tragic accident and he’s free to start a new life with her. Sad delusional Bottom Bitches… She calls him back thirty minutes later and he begins to tell her how much he misses her. They talk about old times, and how he made a mistake, and how he has to fuck see her again. Anita has a boyfriend, a good man who doesn’t cause her any stress in other words– she’s bored. Next thing you know Randy’s hitting that again and telling her how he’s going to leave his baby moms, all she has to do is be patient. Months past and Anita’s pussy is still being used as a timeshare. To top it off her boyfriend knows she’s cheating but his simp ass can’t let go. Now she’s living foul because she can’t let go of this man she invested in way back when despite having a good man in her life. That type of scenario happens all the time, and few men can break the bottom bitch spell when feelings are that deep. As long as he keeps making up excuses and promising that they’ll be together, he’ll continue to exploit her. Poor Bassica Bottom, what’s the point of deleting his number when you’re still going to answer the phone?

A Bottom Bitch will always be a Bottom Bitch because she never realizes she was a Bottom Bitch to begin with. In her mind, she’s wifey, always one day away from getting that ring on her finger and a return on that initial investment. Sorry to say but that day will never come. Bottom Bitches aren’t Bonnie’s they’re sponsors. Beyonce was never Jay-Z’s bottom bitch, she wasn’t around to put cars in her name and warm up his cup-o-noodles on those cold winter nights when he came back from hustling. While some other chick was boosting Shawn’s ego and telling him that Fu-Schnickens flow was hot, Beyonce was focused on laying her own strong foundation and achieving her goals. In the end, Jay went for an independent woman with the same ambitions that he had and that sweet naïve girl from 1988 who put her man first became just a distant memory. Bottom Bitches are a necessary evil for men. We all need a pat on the back, good head, and a few dollars when coming of age. For your sacrifice and devotion, he will always have love for you, but that doesn’t mean he was ever in love with you. Real men don’t want enablers they want partners, and that bottom bitch mentality means that you’ll never be equals. No matter how long you’ve been holding him down, what has he brought to the table besides false promises? Regardless of how many times he tells you he loves you, why are you still his girl and not his girlfriend? If you keep settling for the bottom how the fuck are you going to make it to the top?

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