When summer ends not only does the temperature drop, apparently so does the brain cell count. Here are some of my favorite excerpts from my book Solving Single (available on ebook, paperback, and audible)… I want you to keep these things in mind as we enter “settle dick season” so you can avoid the traps of turning into a Pick Me Ass Basica…
On Anxiety…
He’s so fine, he’s so funny, and he’s so confident—hop off his dick and make him hop on your clit by being just as mesmerizing. Control your date shakes and act as if you’ve been around sexy and intelligent men before, then fire back with you own personality. Fear of not measuring up is a Pussy trait! How will you ever get a man to see you as more if you don’t see yourself as on his level? Having the nerves and anxiety of a ninth grader will get you fucked over every time. I call this The Groupie Effect. You’re so in lust and in awe of a new guy because he’s everything you’ve wanted. You forget to be the woman you are and transform into a 13-year-old at a One Direction concert.
On The Virginity Excuse
You see a guy you think is cute looking at you, but you turn away because in your mind, “A guy like that won’t want a virgin.” You go on a date with a guy who’s wonderful, but then you start to ignore his phone calls or get too busy because in your mind, “A guy like this won’t want a virgin.” Stop doubting yourself. All those women out there, do you think the only reason they have boyfriends is because they fucked to get them? There are plenty of females who take sex seriously and make men wait several months because…
On Online Dating
When it comes to social media, there’s this pattern where most of the people you become romantically interested in are guys from the past who you may have overlooked. I’ve had nearly all of my best friends from high school call me with news that they finally hit such and such who we all used to crush on. The problem becomes one of convenience. Are you settling for these Facebook men because you’re in a slump and they happen to be the only eligible guys hitting you up? Be honest, how much of it is genuine interest in him and how much of it is a need for some form of male romantic attention? If you were getting interest offline, would you still give Ben from the old job your number? Loneliness can make whores of us all…
On Not Being Taken Out
He never takes me anywhere, he thinks I’m ugly… If you are constantly stuck in the house chilling and sexing with your man, it is because you allow it. If you are insecure about your appearance, being in the house just adds fuel to the fire. If you are worried that someone else thinks that you are ugly, that means you subconsciously think you are ugly. If you know that you are attractive, stop concerning yourself with the reasons why he’s not taking you out and demand that he take you out. Do not ask to go on a date, tell him.
On Attracting Men
You’re thinking, “I know I’m sexy, and I still can’t meet anyone decent.” I don’t believe you. To feel sexy is to be confident. To be confident is to be fearless. Being fearless results in going after anything you want and never shying away from the moment. Most of you feel good when looking in the mirror, but your confidence falters when it’s time to shake hands with the man of your dreams. Beauty, confidence, and coolness are the traits of a woman who will always win. If you’re falling short in the quality man department, it’s not because you’re a hamburger away from being Precious, flat chested, or you have your father’s chin. It’s because you have yet to master all three of those mandatory traits.
On Being Big & Beautiful
Lack of confidence will cause your brain to scream, “He thinks I’m fat. He doesn’t like bigger girls. This shirt doesn’t really show off the weight I lost. I’m not his type!” All of those rapid-fire mental roadblocks pop up leading you to crash and burn before you even talk to him. Was that “damn I look good” glance you gave yourself before leaving the house total bullshit? No, you did look good, and you still look good. Females overthink how others perceive them because they’re not sure how to perceive themselves. Don’t let doubt kill your confidence and cause you to relapse into thinking you don’t measure up. The confidence of “big and beautiful” will shrivel up when face-to-face with an actual man because you’re only half a sex symbol! You talk confidently around friends, but be able to say and believe that when you’re standing in front of a guy.
On Being Dry As Fuck
I ain’t like the next chick. You better ask about me! I call your bluff. If I were to ask about you, I’m sure I’d get guys who think you’re just as average as the last woman he was with and didn’t put a ring on. You talk a good game and brag on your qualities, but what are you doing to prove to men that you are indeed a boss chick? Talk is cheaper than Milky Way Remy, so you need to back up your claims by actually showing him that everything you do is better than the things done by other girls he’s met. If you’re the girl who leaves three texts messages as soon as you don’t hear back from him within an hour, that tells him you’re needy. If he comments on a celebrity on TV sexually, and you jump down his throat, that tells him that you’re jealous and insecure. If you suck your teeth and only give one-word answers after he has to cancel a meet up, that tells him you are
On Remixing A Bad Relationship
Let’s say you’re not strong enough to walk away just yet. You would rather try to show him that you aren’t basic and impress him in the manner you should have when you first met. How can you make your man hit reset on the relationship and see you as more than used pussy or a Bottom Bitch? The first step in regaining your power is to stop being accessible. Appreciation will be a foreign concept to this man because he got your best effort without any effort. He wants to talk to you about his problems, so you’re there to listen. He wants sex at night when he’s done living his life, so you come over. He wants to go out with his boys, not out on a date, so you happily find a girlfriend to accompany you to that movie. You cannot be that accommodating to a man that refuses to go all in. What motivation does he have to upgrade you if he’s getting all the benefits now? Learn to say “no,” and say it often. Most men will…
On Breaking Up
Last week her ex was a liar and cheater with a little dick and no money. Leave her alone for a week with only her revisionist thoughts and suddenly he’s not bad at all. Her ex is now honest, loving, has a wonderful penis, and money doesn’t matter. It’s sad, but understandable. Your brain is in defense mode and attempting to rationalize why you need him. If you think of him as irreplaceable, then you will do anything to get him back. The brainwaves are saying, “Once you have him back, the heartache will stop, and you will be cured.” It’s a false solution that will not solve your problem. You two broke up for a reason and repairing that issue that caused the rift is the only way you two can get back together. Caving in to your depression, waving the white flag, and taking the blame for not being what he wanted is a fool’s medicine. Two adults rarely break…
On Being A Spartan
Men kill, wage wars, lie, steal, pay, beg, and betray each other for women. Are you really going to believe the bullshit that you are soft, replaceable, or just a sexual release? Spend a moment basking in how potentially great you could be once you had the self-esteem and confidence to really not give a fuck. What do you have to fear from a man rejecting you, a woman not liking you, or a group of people judging you? Life is Sparta, a world tailor made for the strongest women to succeed and ingeniously designed to keep the weakest women in their place.
On Dick Vs Hubby
Ego, pride, and the desire to be loved will fuck you over every time you undertake the pointless project of transforming Dick into Hubby. How do you know if your boyfriend is just Dick? Dick is a man who is immature, selfish, controlling, and deceitful. Dick is also passionate, affectionate, smooth, and sexy. Dick uses the power of manipulation to convince you that he’s the man you’ve been looking for. He uses the hypnosis of good sex to convince you that he’s worth the headache. Furthermore, Dick uses your own desire to be saved from the world of single in order to crawl so deep into your heart that you will forgive just about any infraction.
The easiest telltale sign to look for when attempting to spot the Dick in your life is that his potential has stopped, and you’re often asking, “Why doesn’t he act like he did when we first met?” Hubby is that man who grows, matures, improves, and learns. That makes him the perfect candidate for marriage because that’s a union based on one’s ability to compromise and work together. Dick doesn’t want to work together in harmony or do better, Dick is content with who he is and expects you to do things his way. Dick’s sole purpose is to settle with a woman who he can dicknotize into catering to his needs for the rest of his life…or until he finds a better candidate. You can go to couples therapy, talk to the Deacon after church, and try every trick in the book to get him to revert to that perfect man who first asked you out, but he’s not going to act like that nice man you first met because that was all game. This flawed and problematic person is who Dick actually is, and the only change in behavior you’ll see from a man like this will be temporary…
Before the end of the year most of you will meet Dick, some of you may meet hubby. Regardless of the men you come across, you have to be in a position to appreciate that perfect match or reject that fool’s gold. It all starts with educating yourself and then applying that shit to real life! Be Spartan strong mentally, which means having your confidence on 10, your player radar fine tuned, your attitude adjusted, and your fear under control. There is no excuse for bullshit mindsets that lead to bullshit relationships. Make sure to read my book Solving Single for the FULL chapters I just previewed above…
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