I proclaimed that all single women should date multiple men, not fuck, not suck, not even kiss multiple men, just date. Travel outside the house to do fun bonding activities during the course of several weeks and get to know each other in order to see if there is anything more to your relationship than jokes and sexual chemistry– that’s called dating. It’s a simple concept, but getting most women to actually do it is like trying to baptize a cat. I expected men to say, “Let a bitch try to make me one of many, that’ll be the last time I take that ho out.” No man is going to agree to compete. In a male’s mind, you should delete every contact with a dick the moment he asks your name. That’s male ego, not world logic. However the most vocal argument against dating multiple men comes from women. The counter is that it’s unnatural for women to split their attention. As a woman it’s better to invest your time in energy in showing that ONE MAN that you just met that you are wife material. There is no need to continue to entertain other guys who were there before or get new numbers if you get a “feeling” that this ONE MAN could be the last man you ever have to date. Fuck your thirsty ass “feeling” that’s nothing but wishful thinking. Has this man communicated that he feels the same way and more importantly has this Superman verbally committed to being with you or nah? …Nah, he’s just dating you dumb ass. Sure he’s blowing smoke up your booty as if he’s getting really close to cuffing you, but that’s talk. You are still single. Call him baby, boo, but the b-word that you can’t call him is boyfriend, therefore, I repeat, YOU. ARE. STILL. SINGLE. Do you realize only dating one man is the same as saying, “I’m waiting on you, because I already know that I can’t find any better men.” Is he that great or are you that desperate?
That concept of one at a time is outdated, you don’t have to believe me, look at your own results. I get it, dating is tiring, it’s nerve wrecking, and you want to skip all that “my favorite color is… my last relationship ended because of…” bullshit. Comfort Zone: Find a man, connect instantly, say “fuck going out”, cuddle, and binge watch TV shows until you fall asleep in each other’s arms. Every woman can reach that Comfort Zone stage where the dating is over, he’s survived the honeymoon period, and you can just chill in your bonnet and talk about the Universe while he rubs your feet. So why can’t you get to this Comfort Zone? Why do the men you like start acting funny? Why are you going on first dates every three months? Because you’re trying to be Babe Ruth. In baseball you can swing for the fences and score a run instantly, but you risk striking out more often when putting in all power with less technique. In dating terms, women are in the habit of only going for the homerun because they don’t have the patience to play the game strategically. Love is a 9 inning game, but the average girl doesn’t have time to interview and get to know a bunch of guys. He’s tall, dark, and balling AKA The Perfect Pitch, so you over commit to the idea of him. You agree to half ass dates or non-dates to show him you’re not shallow. You make yourself readily available and cut off all of your other male hos to show what kind of woman he’s getting. And finally, after moderately popping pussy for guys whom you didn’t want to unveil those “husband” tricks to, you pussy pop severely for him, because you’re convinced that if you fuck him right, this is the last man you will ever have to fuck. You swung with all your heart and proved that you are the wifey type… in the end, it’s three months later and he’s telling you that he’s just not ready to give you what you deserve (AKA you’re cool, but I ain’t buying). Now you’re left standing in front of that home plate wondering how the fuck you just struck out. As your coach, I’m instructing you to LOAD THE BASES, DO NOT SWING FOR THE FENCE! Multiple dating is about taking your time, not racing to prove to any one man that you deserve to be chose. Spartans do not raise their hands and yell “pick me, pick me, look at all the shit I can do for you,” they do the choosing.
Dating more than one man may sound hard, but that’s only because you’re lazy. You don’t want to work to make it to the Comfort Zone, you want to text a nigga for two weeks, place the Bae Crown on his head, and spoon with him. I laugh when I see these sentimental “Relationship Goals” memes that these depressed love sick women post showing couples doing things they aspire to do. That’s like a nigga posting a picture of a PHD like ” Education Goals,” he ain’t doing that because he knows that shit takes real work, not fantasy thinking. These relationship goals you all want take years of work! Most niggas don’t want to be that booty rubbing, deep talk having, man that builds with you; they want to be your late night, I miss you, come see me, Dick that rents you for a few months. The reason why the average woman is burned out from dating and looking for all these New Age “find love fast” remedies is because they are trying too hard to make Dick into Hubby, instead of going through the process of evaluation. When I scream: Date Multiple Men, it pisses a lot of females off. It’s not about judgmental men seeing you as a Ho because you eat dinner with Keith one night and go to Six Flags with Brian the next day. The real issue is confidence: You don’t date multiple men and you judge women that do it because you don’t think you can get multiple men to actually take you on dates. Shit, that’s all you had to say! It’s not the idea, it’s your self-esteem that makes you suck your teeth. The foundation of dating is being proactive. In order to go on a date, you have to actually be available, not stuck in the house, not walking around with an attitude, and not full of negative energy because of your past results. I don’t care how any of you look physically, you can get men, plural. Guys will approach you when you put yourself out there and you also have the power to approach the opposite sex. When you combine those two methods, you win. I’ve written dozens of “Find a Man” articles and Solving Single is right there to be your playbook. If you aren’t confident enough to know that you can catch a man’s eye, then stop reading right now, because you need to go back re-read and build your self-esteem before you can ever hope to build a roster.
Red Call Log Girl
When I was in NYC my boy showed me his iphone call log. It had the name of four women as missed calls over and over again. He laughed and said, “When you write for the fellas tell them the key is to keep these bitches in the red, they want you more when you ignore them.” Of course I smiled and gave him dap, because as fucked up as it sounds that method works for a lot of men. How many of you are Red Call Log Girls? Don’t lie. Right now, one of you reading this is stressing over ONE man that wouldn’t even answer if you were to call right now. Sure he likes you, but he doesn’t like you as much as you like him. You call, he texts back. He tells you he misses you, but only wants to see you during nut-bussing hours. He rations his attention like bread in a POW camp, and you hang on his nuts even harder, because “that’s bae.” He’s not bae, he’s just another nigga, but you won’t allow yourself to see that. This is why I’m so passionate about dating multiple men, because the biggest problem I see across the board is that women over-like men that don’t feel the same way. As men, we can like a girl a lot, but we will still continue to live our life as if she doesn’t exist. Sure, the girl we like the most pops in our head often, but it doesn’t stop us from pulling other girls or hanging out with our boys to the point where we forget to even call that girl. Men understand that only having one option makes that option more attractive than it may truly be because there is nothing to compare her to. When you have other options to compare, then your feelings aren’t overcompensating to the point that you turn Monique into Unique.
It’s not that women crush harder than men, it’s that women don’t multitask when it comes to romance. Women for the most part will stop their world to include a new nigga who hasn’t even earned his way into the club. Why? The potential of finally finding the one feels the same as having actually found the one. Single is a disease and you want to believe that he’s the cure, so you over-like. You’re doing your shift at work wondering what he’s doing, if he’s thinking about you, and trying to use your Jean Grey powers to make the phone vibrate with a text from him. It’s okay to do this, but when you’re doing it before work, during work, after work, 7 days a week, it goes from cute to pathetic! You like him, you have high hopes, okay, now keep it fucking moving because the more you feed into the exaggerated feeling of “Our Souls are Soooo In Sync” the more power you’re giving him. The more power you give a man, the harder it is to date him in a way where you set the rules in terms of treatment. Remind yourself that he could be special, but for now he’s just Steve, another nigga in a world full of fool’s gold. You hear me but you can’t do this because you have nothing to take your mind off this Potential boo. When you have 4 men who are just as cute as Steve trying to get with you, Steve may still be in the top spot, but you don’t have time to obsess because these guys are starting to do things that Steve doesn’t, which in turn keeps your mind from becoming obsessive compulsive about how your name sounds with his last name. The same way you got one number you can get another number. Good men aren’t rare if you actually go outside and try. You shouldn’t feel guilty about talking to more than one man, you should feel like it’s mandatory to keep your heart balanced.
Change Your Mindset
This idea of men competing seems foreign because many women only deal with two men at most, their ex who still wants to fuck, and the new dude who she keeps talking to in order to forget about her ex. The problem is she doesn’t even date those two, she entertains them. When I say date multiple men, I don’t mean TEXT, I don’t mean SKYPE, I don’t mean TALK TO, Dating is Dating! I see these little Basicas complaining, “All these dudes blowing up my phone except the one I want.” You’re hustling backwards, bitch. A woman is only as quality as the men that she gives her number to. If 7 out of 10 guys in your phone are men you would never even kiss, you’re a clown. Time is the most important thing you can give to anyone, and you actually took that time to exchange numbers with a nigga who looks like the Nigerian Adam Sandler? The first thing you need to change before you start building a roster is this idea that any male attention is better than no male attention. Your ego is keeping you in the same lane as every other basic bitch that feasts on online attention from randoms as if it’s genuine. Why the fuck are you filling your rosters with losers that think dropping Flame emoji’s on your Instagram pics is putting in work? Yes, you have four twitter niggas and ten snapchat suckers trying to fuck you, but how many men do you have actively trying to real life date you? You’re so this and you’re so that, but where is your quality roster?
Look at Mary Queen of Thots, nose in the air, talking about how so many niggas are in her DMs… but how many of them are pulling up ready to take you out? These online coons want your nudes, not you. Come Valentine’s Day your only options are seeing Fifty Shades with your single ass girlfriends or seeing it with some lame nigga that makes your skin crawl every time he says, “I miss you”. What is wrong with you that your phone isn’t blowing up with quality men who you would actually date? Getting internet attention as a girl is like getting a football trophy as a five year old— it’s given by default, not because you earned it. So take all this thirst attention that you get from cornballs and forget about it. Some of you are offline and handing out your number to every, “Hey, ma what’s your name,” type just to say you got approached. You’re no longer 16 years old, regulars shouldn’t have access to your phone number, email, or any direct connection. Your pussy should be on Angelina Jolie, sunshades and bodyguards, not on Wal-Mart cashier where any nigga can walk up to you! Your ego shouldn’t be based on the quantity of men who are trying to talk to you, it should be based on the quality of men who are actually taking you out.
Change Your Phone Habits
Take out your phone right now. Step one: Delete every man you wouldn’t fuck sober. Step two: Delete every man who doesn’t work, drive, or doesn’t have means to actually take you out. Step three: Delete every man that’s in the “not looking for a girlfriend, let’s take it slow, I’m sorry my baby moms called you,” box. Last Step: If there are any men still standing in your phone, call them up and do the “Right Now” test. Hey, what’s been good? That’s cool… I want to go out to eat tonight, what time are you free to pick me up? That’s all you have to say. If you get any answer other than a time and place, then delete his ass. No more of having someone to talk to just to have someone to talk to. Either these dudes are trying to win you over or they’re just hanging around, and last time I checked your pussy wasn’t a liquor store so why the fuck do you need bums loitering? After you cut all the dead weight, focus on what you want romantically. Some of you are 90’s kids who don’t need to be looking for a husband, just a boyfriend or life experiences. Others are 80’s babies and below ready to settle down with something real. Figure out what you want before you build your roster. If you’re a young girl, a nigga that’s in school or works part time isn’t a deal breaker. Older women have to be Miranda mean, not Samantha open, which requires you to prioritize stability and career over everything else. The point is, date for your life needs now, not the woman you’re going to grow into nor the woman that you used to be.
Many of you take good Avi pictures and have boos in different area code. Nothing wrong with getting flown out, but you already know what it’s hitting for, so if you aren’t on your Ho Tactic game, then these dudes a few states over have to be purged. You live in Seattle and he lives in Texas, what the fuck can he do for you? You can’t commit to conversation. There may be one guy that is genuine, who you could see yourself with one day, but last time I checked it’s today, so the first thing you need to do is place him at the bottom of your roster. This means that if you’re dating three men at the same time, he’s the fourth one you hit up in the rotation. His conversation game may be phenomenal, he may make you bust all kinds of skype nuts, but unless you are willing to throw the title on him and make it a real relationship, he needs to get in when he fits in, and that’s last place. Again for the last time, Dating Multiple Men means actually dating them, not Wi-Fi cuffing. Long Distance situationships are nothing more than giant teases that hypnotizes you into the fantasy of “if only he were in my city,” when you should be actually out in your city slaying these niggas.
Don’t Ask For Dates, Expect Them
For a grown ass woman to say, “I don’t know how to get a date, men today don’t date like you think they do,” is unacceptable, weak, and completely defeatist. The issue is that many of you think that because you give a guy your number and you look good he’s going to call offering to take you somewhere automatically. HA! Every woman is basic until proven special! Ladies, who are the men that jump to take you out quick? The unattractive ones because they have to. Quality men aren’t jumping out of their skins to make dinner reservations, they’re going to call your bluff and try to date you like you’re just another bitch. In reality the cutest of the men you meet rarely offers to take you anywhere, but he does put in work in terms of communication. He calls often, maybe even daily, and always asks to see you, not go out with you but see you, difference. After two weeks of a good looking guy showering you with communication you get open, open off of absolutely zero effort! He’s not asking you out because that fucking genius realizes that he doesn’t have to take you out, that all you want is attention and you’ll mistake it for value. Ladies, it’s not that men aren’t dating, it’s that you aren’t setting the rules that prove that you need to be dated to stay in your contact list. In your head you’re miss “I don’t come over and chill” but on planet earth you’re in his crib as soon as he calls. Look at your happy ass over there making breakfast at night because he teased you about not being able to cook pancakes. Are men this smart or is your want to be wanted making you act so dumb that you don’t see that a man teasing you to come over and cook, is a damn hustle? Fuck texting you every day, fuck calling you every night, fuck FaceTime, if he wants to get to know you he has to take you on an official date within the first three days of meeting you, or he’s gaming you.
I hear the whispers from Mt. Basimanjaro, “I can’t force him to take me out.” No, you can’t but you can have enough self-respect to realize that if a man doesn’t want to take you out then he doesn’t see you as anything special. If a nigga doesn’t have $20 for gas, then what the fuck can he do for you? If he doesn’t have any idea of where to take a beautiful women to show her a good time, then what the fuck can he do for you? If he doesn’t bother to even respond when you say, “I like coconut shrimp, let’s get some at this spot downtown,” then why the fuck would you ever-ever-ever-ever bother to answer your phone for him again! I’m sick of this weak ass little girl attitude where you let these men get away with minimal effort. Where you are so afraid to open your mouth, but are eager to open your legs because he’s sexy and makes good jokes. Every time you get a number he should be tested the first week, those that fall in line and take you out on a good date make the team, they don’t win you as girlfriend, they simply get a shot to take you out again and again until they earn that title of boyfriend. When you have four men doing this, that’s power. That’s when you can toss your hair and lay claim to being the bad bitch you pretend to be.
This Ain’t Pokémon
I think I saw some whitewashed weak bitch article on BuzzFeed or something where they talked about “The Variety of Guys Women Should Experience Dating” *Brooke Shields Voice* You need the bad boy, the nerd, the jock, the blue collar worker, the white collar exec, blah blah vomits! This is real life, your dating shouldn’t be diversified like the cast of The Real World just for diversity’s sake. As a human being you date who the fuck you want to date, hopefully you aren’t ignorant enough to limit yourself to your own race or culture. Every man is an individual, so you don’t have to say, “Oh, I already got a Black Guy who went to an HBCU, let me turn down this dude from Hampton, because I don’t need another on my roster.” That’s stupid. First off you open up as many slots as you want to, and no matter who has similar backgrounds you judge if they get a spot on the team by how they impress you during that first meeting and subsequent dates. A lot of men will have overlap in terms of jobs and background depending on where you’re meeting them. If any certain type is going to remind you of exes or bad experiences, then don’t date those types. It’s a big world, Regina who had two crazy Jamaican boyfriends should avoid giving her number out at the Reggae clubs the same way Margaret should avoid giving her number out at the Irish Pub, if those men tend to be kryptonite. The point is, you don’t need a box of crayons with one of these and one of those. It’s Saturday, I choose you lightskin nigga with the green eyes! No. Thot Ketchum, just no. Does he meet your physical qualifications, your employment standards, and does he act like he knows that you’re a Queen that needs to be dated like such? That’s what you focus on, not diversity.
This Isn’t About Jealousy
A man can tell you the first date that he’s talking to other girls but a woman can’t be that forthcoming with a man about how many guys she’s talking to. Why is that still a double standard? Think about it. A guy tells you, “I talk to a couple of chicks, nothing serious.” You as a woman expect to hear that, you understand that you just met, and accept that as a part of dating and being single the best looking men will most likely be actively seeing other women. However, men don’t think like women, we don’t understand that we’re not the first to discover the bad chicks. We expect that no matter how pretty you are that when we got your number you were walking around with a dry phone. As a woman a big part of dating multiple men is that you don’t need to tell your left hand how your right hand is moving. If a man asks you if you’re dating, the perfect answer is “Not really.” I don’t care if you have one dude proposing marriage and another that you’re thinking about cutting everyone else off for the next week, he doesn’t need to know your depth chart! This isn’t lying, this is telling him to mind his business without being rude. If he turns you being mysterious into a trust issue then snip snip, bye bye. You don’t have time to coddle the ego of an insecure man. My own wife told me years later (smartly) that when we started dating she was dating two other guys at the same time. I asked her when she cut them off, and her response was by the end of the week that we made it official. I can’t be mad at that, she did exactly what I want every woman in this world to do—Live your life until he gives you a reason to be the only man in your life. I earned my place in her life, I wasn’t some default dude that happened to be around, and that’s how it’s supposed to be.
Another less noble thing that comes up is that many women feel that dating other men will make the one that she really likes pay her more attention. This is not a gimmick or a game, so don’t try to pit man vs. man because you’ll be the one that gets hurt in the end. If you have a guy who you’re seeing who isn’t paying you the level of attention you deserve then he should have been deleted from your phone at the beginning. You can’t make a man who doesn’t want you, start wanting you by dangling another man in front of him. Here’s what happens in a male’s mind: he feels threatened, and thus competes in the way that men compete. He’s not going to take you out to a five star restaurant because New Dick took you to a four star restaurant, so kill that idea now. He’s going to sweet talk you, get to see you, and fuck you with the hardest dick you’ve felt in your life. Men get motivated to fuck, not upgrade, that’s how we mark our territory. Beat your pussy up, make you call him Daddy, and tell him he’s better than the other dude you’re dating is how he regains control. After he runs through you, that jealousy is gone, he doesn’t care about who you date anymore. “Go ahead and take her out to that foo foo ass restaurant, I’ll come through later, eat her left overs, and fuck her the way you want to, sucker.” That’s male competition, ladies, it isn’t some romantic chivalrous affair of one-upmanship. The moral of the story, keep your roster and playbook close to your chest and don’t let your emotionally need to make a man jealous or your weak bitch guilt ruin this by snitching.
To Fuck or Not To Fuck
Women have ridiculously high sex drives. It’s amazing how some of you hide this and I have mad respect for women now that I know how freaky you all truly are. To put yourself in front of not one, not two, but three or more men who you would sleep with, takes discipline. The question becomes should you just pick one of these guys to fuck, so you won’t be tempted to run through them all like a fat kid with a box of Krispy Kreme? For the last time, I’m talking about Dating not Fucking, or scratching an itch. If you want to just get a good nut from someone you think is fine, then you don’t have to date. You’re grown and have a mouth, you can walk up on a man you deem fuckable, ask for a number, set up a booty call, smell his dick, and then proceed to get as nasty as you want to on said penis. It’s your pussy, if you want a nut as opposed to a man, go get it, but don’t lie and say you want to date when you don’t. This is about dating and building a roster to choose an official man. Therefore, keep your legs closed until you’re at least ready to give him the final stroke test to see if he is indeed good enough to be your man. This is the part a lot of you girls will ignore because you lack discipline, but I’m warning you now, don’t be stupid. If you pick one to just be your on call dick, you’ll get lazy. I’ve seen it many times. A woman picks one to fuck, and it’s good at first… then that dick makes her content. All she wants to do is see the guy she’s fucking because unlike the rest of the roster, which will add more bodies to her sleep number, this guy is convenient and broken in. In the end the other men on the roster begin to get ignored, not because the guy you fucked is treating you the best, but because you have the sexual connection that makes your dates with him more interesting because they come with a good night nut. It takes discipline, but that’s what vibrators are made for. Don’t ruin your hunt for a boyfriend by giving into the flesh too soon.
Dating > Waiting
Does he like you for you or is he just trying to fuck? It doesn’t matter when you date multiple men because you’re not putting all your eggs in his basket enough to care about how he feels. You’re being patient and letting time reveal all. Is that guy who confessed that he has a girlfriend, but wants to leave her for you, lying or telling the truth? Who gives a fuck? You’re not in a rush, so go out eat at the restaurants he doesn’t take his bitch to, and time will reveal if he really leaves her, you aren’t pressed one way or the other because he’s one of many. Your ex-boyfriend who is trying to hit reset and prove that he deserves a second chance, does he just want that old comfort pussy or is he serious? You’re not in your feelings about him, you have two other real men showing you how a real woman should be dated. Old Dick can talk all that maturity shit, but if his actions don’t match, there other guys on the roster, he’s off the team. How much more can I spell this out, when men compete indirectly, you will easily separate the winners from the losers. Instead of arguing with some nigga that’s not even your boyfriend, you’ll suddenly develop this cocky no fucks attitude because for the first time in your life you aren’t dependent on “this has to work because I don’t want to start all over again.” When you have a Ferrari, Maserati, and Rolls Royce in the garage you don’t sweat the Bentley as much. The goal isn’t to run out and grab five phone numbers tomorrow, it’s to be patient enough to let it happen naturally. You may only have one guy for three weeks and no other prospects, but it doesn’t matter because you’re still looking, not investing all your free thoughts on if he isn’t or is the man you will marry. You may have five at once, and decide that you don’t like any of them on that level, and cut them all off, fuck’em. Remember this is about finding someone legitimate, not having someone to talk to when you’re bored, that’s little girl shit. There is no reason to have a guy on your roster for four months. If he hasn’t blown you away, cut him. If he’s just there and feels more like a friend than someone you want romantically, cut him. Building a Roster is ongoing, you cut some you pick up new ones, it’s not about their feelings it’s about your future.
Throughout, I never talked about a man choosing you, but you proactively choosing that man. It’s time to stop feeding into this idea that you need to be good enough for a man to make you his girlfriend, and accept that it’s today’s men that need to go the extra mile to prove that they deserve to be your boyfriend. The concept of jumping through hoops for a man in hopes that he’ll claim you is degrading. When will he make me his girlfriend, is the slogan of little girls, not grown women. No matter how many statistics say women outnumber men, I guarantee that no bitch brings what you could bring to the table if you stopped playing by the rules. Her man crush is your trick. Her Bae is just another missed call you won’t return. The nigga she would die to be with is just another ho that sends you kiss-faced emoji’s. There is no man that you can’t have if you wanted him, that’s not what you say, that’s how you have to live! There are women that wait for a man to commit, and then there are the women that are the reason behind a man’s refusal to commit. Be the place, not the placeholder, and realize the real power is when you have more than one guy up at night thinking, “Why isn’t she trying to let me be her man?”