Me: So what’s going on with the new recruits to your roster?
Her: (laughs) There’s no roster. I’m actually still talking to ****.
Me: After all that shit you told me about being done with him?
Her: It’s not like I’m meeting any new people, so what does it hurt?
This was a conversation I had over drinks with a friend who, to this day, is still sleeping with a guy who she broke up with almost a year ago. Her story went likes this:
- 3 months of post-relationship sex with her ex, because she “needs” sex and they had “chemistry” that she wasn’t going to find with someone new.
- 2 months of no contact after blocking him once she found out that he took a girl out (which shouldn’t matter because he was single) to a fancy place he never took her to when they were together.
- 1 month of him trying to get back with her after they bumped into each other at some party.
- She gave him another shot to be “just friends” and here she is 2 months and counting into having sex with this recycled dick, chilling at his crib, and claiming they are unofficial… yet she’s not dating other men or even making an effort to date because no one out there is grabbing her attention…
How the fuck can anyone grab your attention when you’re laid up with an old flame, busting your pussy wide open, and pretending that it’s “whatever”? It’s not whatever, you’re in a self-made situationship because you were too damn lazy to move on. Some women are so afraid of being hurt again, that they would rather keep reliving the frustrations of their ex than get played by someone whose games they aren’t familiar with. The Devil you know is still a Devil. To label it “just talking” or “just sex” is a protective armor many women put on so they can tell their friends and family, who were there to hear all the sob stories, that it isn’t that deep anymore, she has it under control. Yeah, okay… Some liars even try to make it empowering: He’s just a boy toy, a flesh and blood vibrator, a side dick. If he were just a boy toy, then why do you get mad when he doesn’t want to see you or cancels plans? If he were just a flesh and blood vibrator, why are you laying up with him after sex smiling from ear to ear or at work wondering about who else he fucks? If he is just a side dick, then where’s the main dick? He’s not on the side, he’s your only entrée! You have simps that text you, fuckboys that just want to Netflix & Chill, and your ex who you fuck because he’s the only consistent man in your phone. You have zero prospects, and I don’t care what fake-empowering term you use, baby doll, you’re still settling for what you can get, not what you actually want! If a man isn’t anything more than sex while you find someone new, then why is he on your mind throughout the day? If you’re upset, you call him. If you’re sad, you want to be comforted by him. If you’re bored, you stalk his social media. The inability to distance yourself emotionally is a weak trait that you don’t want to own up to, thus you dress it up in the physical comfort, but you and I both know the truth you’re hiding: You don’t want to be alone.
Weak Bitch Excuses for Recycling Dick: There are no decent men in my city. I don’t want to have sex with someone new and raise my body number. We have a special connection that you just don’t understand…
Call him a friend, a dude, a situation, a boo, but the one thing you can’t call him is your MAN. “So what, I could have a man if I wanted,” and that makes you even more pathetic. To spend the prime years of your life being just pussy isn’t cute, it’s demeaning. How can a man that’s let you down ever be trusted to hold you down? How can you suck a man’s dick with the same mouth you use to say, “I know you’re still talking to other girls,” doesn’t that make you feel used? Did your mother raise you to be Option B? Is it not in your DNA to want full-time love? You either don’t believe that you can get someone new to love you or you’re trying to hold on to old decaying love via these weak bitch shenanigans. There are literally millions of single men in this world, thousands in your city that are around your same age, and hundreds that meet your qualifications. Yet, here you are making an excuse based on your lack of effort. If she can find a man, you can find a man, you’re just too stuck in your ways to put yourself out there. You go out to some dirty ass local nightspot, look around at the crowd, and declare— “There are no cute guys in this city.” You leave that spot with your tail between your legs because no handsome men came over and talked to you or asked for your number. You feel hopeless, frustrated, and your confidence is shrinking because despite your “no cute guys” statement, you see other women with men that look like your type. There you are; hair laid, face beat, and no one to appreciate your beauty so you text “WYD” to someone you know will be there to bend you over and make you feel loved for at least one night. How can any woman ever truly build a roster or even meet one decent man, if every time she is challenged with going out to snatch souls, she shies away, gets discouraged and goes to bounce on an old dick?
This excuse about body counts is also fraudulent. You mean to tell me that you’re such a nymphomaniac that you can’t hold off on sex until you find a man that gives you what you want? That riding a new dick, is going to take you over the Hoe Limit, stretch out your vagina, show up on your globally distributed Ho Fax Report, and make you undesirable? “I can’t afford to add one more body to my list, what man will want me then?” You sound dumb and you look even dumber recycling dick in order to hold on to some imagined number of men you’re allowed to sleep with in a lifetime. You’re making up reasons to justify doing the same basic shit you’ve been doing. The comfort of having someone familiar who eats your box with the correct motion does not outweigh the emotional scars you’re trying to pretend are healed. I get email after email about resetting relationships while in the midst of still carrying on sexual relations with the person they want to change. These women are emotional wrecks because they do nothing but lie to themselves about what they really want from a man. 9.5 times out of 10, they aren’t using this recycled dick as just a piece of meat to cum, they are using him to feel loved. It often takes weeks to get these defensive women to admit, “I want him back, but I want him to act right and not put me through the bullshit again.” You don’t get a man to act right by showering him with convenient, no-strings-attached, pussy. Think about it, Basica. Sex is a reward! A non-relationship where you leave the club drunk and come over and make it nasty for him because you’re bored is heaven sent! “If he didn’t still love me, then he wouldn’t still see me,” nah, b. Men love easy pussy even if it is an old pussy. Him asking you to come through, fucking you like he loves you, and telling you he misses you isn’t proof of anything but pleasure.
Sex Heals Nothing
You never got into a real relationship because he was immature—has that changed because you continue to fuck him? You broke up because he had issues and needed to get his life together—has that changed because you continue to fuck him? You are on a break while you both figure out your own individual problems—has fucking each other brought you any closer to self-enlightenment? No x 3! No one grows emotionally when they continue to play house while claiming they’re over each other. Trying to win back a man or trying to test that man to see if he’s changed while still giving him sex benefits is like trying to repair a car while driving 70 on a freeway. Slow the fuck down and do it the right way, you horny brat! Time and Space = Healing and Reflecting. Only through reflection of what he did or what you did, will two people be able to reset the past and salvage a future. Fact. When you’re so afraid to be alone, so horny that you can’t block a person who has a shady agenda or damaged personality, you repeat the same mistakes and keep yourself away from meeting new men that match up better with you. This idea that you can get dick from James your “friend” on Friday and date Steven the new guy on Saturday and remain emotionally unbiased is bullshit. It’s not just the sex, it’s the energy you are putting into a man who you still love. You are keeping someone you have no business being with in your life to protect your ego, meanwhile, each new man you meet will be “okay… but not like old bae.” A new man can’t compete with the memory of an old man that’s still in your life! Sit there and suck your teeth, and say something basic like “I know what I’m doing,” but you don’t. You’re stubborn, you’re weak, and you’re letting life lead you into getting what you’re used to, instead of taking a stand and getting exactly what you need.
Why Men Need to Learn to Let Go
I’m sick of smart women making dumb decisions based on the cowardly comfort of their weak bitch emotions. I wrote MDLWLY so you can go step by step to upgrade your soft ass into a Spartan. Read it, follow it, win. 3 steps, It’s not that hard. So there isn’t much else to tell women on how to solve this problem. Therefore, I’m going to turn to the men that continue to fuck these silly ass chicks. Fellas, it’s time to understand that as a man in today’s world of thirsty women that just want to be loved, you don’t have to tie yourself to a female just to get easy pussy. Having repeat sex with someone whose body you know every inch of is fire, I get it. You don’t have to worry about STDs, falling in, her shit being funky, her not knowing how to give head, having to beat around the bush about freaky shit you’re into, and best of all it’s rerun pussy, which means there is no performance anxiety where your dick may go soft or you may cum too quick based on nerves. To have an ex-girlfriend, a baby mama, even just a random friend who turned into a sex partner on your roster sounds like heaven on earth so long as that woman doesn’t interfere with you getting new pussy. But you can’t think of this shit as a victimless crime. These girls aren’t just fucking you because they want to fuck you. As I pointed out above, so many have ulterior motives where they cling on to you, take what they can get, and gas themselves to believe that “one day” you may end up her husband. She’s settle pussy and she may say that you’re settle dick, but unlike a sprung woman you can actually move on and meet new chicks… she’s stuck on you.
Let’s treat this shit like I do at my Barbershop and talk openly about how we really think of women… you know like I know that most of the girls you hold on to are tools. You use them when you’re bored, horny, or in-between women, and then you fall back when that tool starts to dull or when you meet a Game Changer. Chicks always cry, “be consistent,” but why be consistent with someone that you only want part-time? We laugh in secret, but it’s time to evolve from this mindset. I’m not telling you not to get pussy. I’m asking you to think about recycling pussy from logically in terms of how much it really benefits you over time. You’ve already had her every way possible, what more is there to do with a woman who emotionally doesn’t turn you on? If you’re younger than 22 years old I don’t expect you to understand what I’m writing, but if you’re at a more enlightened age, had your fun, know what you’re looking for in a woman, then you have to start thinking about females as more than objects. Set a goal to get one that you actually want, and stop wasting your time with seat filler pussy, just for the ego stroke of having a naïve girl on your dick. There’s a girl reading this right now that’s just pussy to you, but she thinks you love her. Do you want to risk getting “just pussy” pregnant, my G? Do you want to risk a petty argument that leads to her destroying your properly or interfering with that girl who you actually want to be with? Do you put your own heart at risk by falling back in love with a woman who you know is no good for you, only to go through that breakup-get back-breakup-get back cycle that will make you bitter? No matter what I write there will always be girls that are too fucking weak to walk away. This is about a man being a King, which means programming your mind to go out and find a woman with self-respect who shows traits of a Queen, not some peasant who spreads her legs and prays that you love her back.
The Ex-Girlfriend That You Don’t Want to Share
The first type of recycled pussy is that of an ex-girlfriend. She was your baby, you loved/love her, and she made it to a level where you actually committed yourself. It doesn’t matter how you broke up, there comes a point where you and your ex become amicable. The relationship drama becomes water under the bridge, and because you’re still addicted to her, you still expect girlfriend benefits. This isn’t just about sex. You are used to killing time with her. You are used to clowning with her. You are used to venting to her. Breaking up doesn’t change your routine. Maybe you wait a few weeks or wait a few months to reach out, doesn’t matter; the point is you open up communication again because you miss the routine. You don’t want to rekindle the relationship; you want to have your friend back. Flatter her, kiss her ass, make her laugh, apologize, do what you have to do to get her talking to you again, so you can get back to having her the way you want her. As a man, you think you can juggle being friends with one girl you still love while moving on to new chicks, and maybe you can, but understand that your ex isn’t in on your agenda—for the majority of women “Miss Me” means “Wants Me.”
It’s easy to get an ex back, she may play tough, but her ass is lonely too. She misses having you to talk to, to cuddle with, and so long as you’re patient she’ll pick up the phone and eventually agree to see you again. Here’s where mixed signals come into play. If that girl has started to move on or is now dating again, how will you react? With competitive jealousy. Men don’t like to share things they feel they own. This isn’t the ratchet bitch you can pass to the homies after you hit it a few times, this was your girlfriend, she meant something. To look on Snap and see that she’s out on a date, to hear that she was at the movie theater with a dude, to see her getting attention from randoms online, that makes you step your game up by doing and saying shit that she will take the wrong way. Girls with emotional holes love when men say shit like, “you better not be talking to other dudes,” or “you know you’re still mine.” You’re pushing her buttons because you know she will internalize that as, “he still loves me,” and since you still have her heart, you automatically cancel out those new niggas. Still having love and being in love aren’t the same thing. Wanting to continue GF benefits and wanting to get back together aren’t the same thing. That’s obvious—to you. But so many women don’t get that, they’re naïve.
I remember treating one of my exes so good that she said, “Why didn’t you act like this when we were together?” I had nothing to prove to a Place Holder, but once she was up for grabs I was free to be super nice and openly communicate in a way I didn’t do when we were together. As men, we have fun proving that we are the better man, flexing our “top this” muscles, and the women believe it’s about them when it’s really just an internal competition, a pissing contest, so to speak. Your ex-girlfriend will see your improved actions, but she won’t think, “He’s just trying to keep me on the team and not share by going above and beyond,” she will think, “He’s changing and proving to me that he really is a better person than when we broke up.” To tattoo a girl’s brain with damn near perfect boyfriend effort and then fuck her with that comfort dick she was missing, will ruin that girl. You’re giving her everything she wants in terms of attention and consistency, she won’t think you’re just keeping her on the roster, she will think you’re trying to win her back. Put yourself in her shoes. You have a few new guys trying to win you over, and then the guy you fell in love with acting better than he’s ever acted. Would you entertain the new guy, spend time getting to know and trust him, or would you just lose yourself in the possibility that the old guy has truly changed and something may bloom from this “friendship”?
Stop being petty and let the bitch go! If you’re not trying to love her the right way, then you’re in her life for the wrong reasons. It may be hard to accept that a new dude will be laying pipe in the house you renovated, but that’s life. You know damn well that you’re already moving on to new women, that this girlfriend was never going to be THE girlfriend, so don’t be a little ass boy who would rather keep the toys he doesn’t want then give them up. Your Andy from Toy Story looking ass needs to grow up. She is never going to be what you want, you’re incompatible, and no matter how much you pretend, you know you don’t want her on that level. Let’s stop fronting to spare women’s feelings and be real. Every mature man knows what he’s looking for in a woman, I don’t care what lie you tell to keep her legs spread, when you look in her eyes you either see wifey or pussy. Man up and be honest! You’re keeping her around for selfish reasons; comfort, sex, nurturing, boredom. That’s not the power a real man exercises. Why exploit a lovesick woman who clearly has a problem letting go of you? Stop fanning the flames of romance when you know you don’t love her the way you used to or the way she still thinks you do, and allow her to move on to a man that sees the greatness in her that you took for granted.
The Baby Mama You Still Fuck
“I’m the mother of his children, I will always be in his life,” was screeched by some reality show thot, and that notion is par for the course. I don’t have a baby mama, but 90% of my friends do, and most still get hit off when they want it—perks nigga! Having a child with someone does not mean that you get pussy for life. There is no rule that says: Pick up the child for the weekend. Drop off on Sunday. Fuck the mother. Leave. What’s happened is an exploitation of weak bitch behavior. I talk to women with kids daily, it’s more of a process to date with a child than without one. For those women that are lonely, that date fuckboys, that are constantly disappointed with their options or lack thereof, apathy sets in. A baby mama that gives into loneliness and horniness is easy pickings but she can also turn into a seductress. She may not like you, but she still loves you. At any given moment you are the only consistent male figure in her life. To see you weekly, to be able to laugh and talk without past animosity, will begin to plant thoughts. She’s up late, tired, bored, phone drier than a Hillary Clinton rally, and who pops in her head? You! That “what if” image of you all as a family takes over, and because she doesn’t have anyone else, that idea grows… That dream will never happen, but the second best option is to experience old times via sex. You saying shit like, “damn you’re looking good today, you must have a date,” gasses a woman up, and because she’s horny she will give in. Then there’s the opposite, her complimenting you about looking a certain way or asking about your “little girlfriend,” in a Maria the Ho type voice inflection lets you know she’s trying to fuck, regardless of your new boo. This isn’t about placing blame. It takes two people to have sex but let’s break down the long time effect of sliding off in a woman who is still holding out hope that you will move in and be a family.
If you really wanted to be with her, you would be with her. If all you’re doing is fucking, let’s keep it G, you don’t want her. YOU KNOW THIS, SHE DOESN’T! Just like a normal ex-girlfriend she feels that repeated sex, even when you have a new girl you say you love, means that she has a chance or a special bond. My nigga, there are women who still believe you wanting to cum in them means something deeper, and you can’t call them dumb since you don’t correct this theory! When you try to chase her boyfriend away, when you call her up talking about how you miss her, or when you keep hitting it, you pour gasoline on the fire and she becomes convinced that you actually want what she wants. You have sex every other time you see her. You call her boyfriend or the guy she’s dating a clown. You tell her that you love her. That leaves her sprung, unable to keep a new man, and convinced that you are her soul mate. Add on you being a good Dad, now she’s even imagining having more kids with you. A Dicknotized Baby Mama’s life is no longer about finding someone who wants her, it’s about staying free for when you circle back and want to act right. Men don’t act right with a woman unless she’s the right woman! Girls refuse to understand this simple fact, so we call them crazy. She may be crazy, but you’ve added to her affliction by playing along! No matter if she’s begging for the dick or you’re drunk texting her for that old shot, you’re both getting caught up in a false future. Be a fucking man, either you want her ass or you don’t. There’s too much new pussy out here for you to be complicating your life for the convenience of baby mama sex. You two have a connection, it’s called a kid, everything else is just sexual attraction, not a special bond, show some discipline.
Girls That Are Just Pussy
You take a girl on a date, it goes well. You talk to her most of that week, you genuinely like her, and she picks up on that vibe. You take her out again or you get her to come over and chill, and you have sex. Great success. Now, she’s expecting you to fall back or to switch up, but when you keep hitting her up, keep chilling, keep smashing it like you’re fresh out of jail, that girl believes that’s the precursor to an actual relationship. In your mind, you’re just having fun. Sure she’s cool, but there isn’t anything that jumps out that makes you want to lock her down. This girl is now a friend who you “mess with” and that’s about as deep as your relationship will go. The woman, on the other hand, she’s looking at your actions. You took her out. You call her. You have things in common. You are now having sex, maybe even raw sex… so in her mind where is this going? No matter if you said, “I’m not looking for anything,” “whatever happens happens,” or “I’m just getting out of a bad relationship,” your actions don’t say you’re just fucking her, your actions are telling this girl that you have something deeper than a friendship. Most women, even when they get as old as 35, still won’t rock the boat and ask a man’s intentions, they assume. They take your actions to mean that in a few months, you will have spent enough time and ate enough pussy, that you will upgrade her to a girlfriend. When this doesn’t happen, you’ll notice a change in her attitude, maybe some passive aggressive sass, but it doesn’t matter because she’s not going to stop fucking you. She’s waiting for you. She’s asking her friends how to bring up the subject of a relationship. She may even be considering flirting with other men to light a competitive fire under you. In the end, you and I both know that she’s reached that glass ceiling. She’s not a bad catch, but she’s not THE ONE.
Let’s say you meet a girl who you really like, you’re certain she’s that Game Changer in a world full of Place Holders, and you treat her as such. This woman hits you with, “I’m not looking for a relationship,” she’s been hurt, maybe she’s still stuck on the last guy, or maybe she just has trust issues that have yet to be resolved. It doesn’t matter her internal reasons. You want her and you get what you want. Men do something interesting when a girl semi-rejects us—we go harder. Take this “I’m not ready,” girl and court her like a boss and win her over, that’s what real men do. Dates, deep conversation, secret sharing, even non-reciprocating oral sex, just so you can show her you’re out to please her, not to be pleased. A woman like this will eventually crack and give in. You two finally have sex and something in you flips. The fire is gone, the want to lock her down has dwindled, and the Unicorn aspect of her has vanished… Sure, you still treat her nice, but most of your time is now about hanging indoors and having sex, not courting like before. You are content with just fucking her and ordering pizza because while she seemed like a Game Changer at first, over time she’s become “whatever” so why even bring up the subject of relationship status? You don’t need to be her man because you’re now getting the benefits without the title. Now something peculiar happens… she changes her mind. A woman will play hard to get, allow you to prove yourself, and instead of saying, “I’m ready for more because you won me over,” she will stay silent while internally wanting something more. You’re not Charles fucking Xavier, you can’t read her mind. You don’t know that this girl who said, “I don’t want a relationship,” now wants a relationship. So you just live life. She’s not your girlfriend, but she’s your girl. You pick up on the vibe that she may want something more, but by this time, why ruin a good thing? It’s just pussy.
Let’s now say that you meet a girl that looks like sex. The type of body you want, but not really the type of personality you go for. You want to fuck because the titties are a certain way, the ass is a certain way or she has a complexion you go for, but she’s not girlfriend material. You don’t pass up a chance to fuck because you don’t want her, it’s not what men do. Even with her perceived flaws, you want that pussy so you chase her like you want something deeper. This type of woman doesn’t know that she’s a fetish. She thinks that you want her for real and that your sexual attraction is proof of romantic interest. It’s not you, ma—it’s your phat ass I want. It’s not you, ma—it’s that cleavage. It’s not you, ma—it’s your ethnicity. It’s not you, ma—it’s that intangible sex appeal that you exude. The dick has a mind of its own, but the dick alone will never let a mature man wife something that is just pussy. If you have game, you end up fucking this fetish girl in a matter of weeks or maybe a few months. It’s good, so you keep hitting it. You know she wants to be with you, but you don’t want to be with her, so you play along so you can keep milking it. In the end, you find a girl who has the full package, the personality, the charisma, and the sex appeal. You have to work to get that new girl open and gain her trust, so in the meantime, you keep fucking old fetish pussy. You’re not spending as much time, you’re not being as consistent, and she knows it. However, she doesn’t cut you off, she is holding on to this idea that you actually like her. Why? Is she retarded? No, she’s looking back at how you first treated her, the way you sweet talked her when you first met, the effort you put in to fuck, and the way you still make time to come and hit it to this day. Once you hook the new girl, you have to ween yourself off the fuck buddy who doesn’t realize she’s just something to do. Maybe you keep her on as side pussy, maybe you tell her you have a girlfriend and she still holds on. Either way, you’re having your cake and getting to eat it too.
From the outside looking in a person would say, “Those type of girls are dumb!”
It’s not about intelligence it’s about hope. Each one of those women is holding on to the mythical idea that a man wants something more based on him chasing her. We’re males, we chase women based on lust and then upgrade or downgrade our opinions of them after we have sex, it’s just how we’re wired. It’s not your fault that women fall for game, but it is your fault when you hold on after the game has been won. Women have all kinds of conflicting emotions. They see signs of consistent attention, sexual activity, and post-sex affection as love. Understand that most women are battling unaddressed Daddy Issues. The first man they ever loved didn’t love her in the way she felt a father should love a daughter. These women don’t think they’re good enough. They pretend to be bad bitches, they fake empowerment, but inside they are afraid they will never be good enough to make a man stay. By attaching yourself to these little girls in grown women’s bodies, you lead them on. Getting pussy from a woman with Daddy Issues is like taking candy from a baby. They want so bad to believe that you care, that you see her true character, that you aren’t just after sex, that they buy all the way end off of a little bit of effort. When you play along, even if you don’t make promises, they assume you want them like the Prince wanted Cinderella. Women raised on Disney movies and Rom Coms, believe in happy endings where all they have to do is love hard and a man will return that love once he realizes she’s rare. You know she’s not rare, you know that the average woman will have sex, love you, mother you, hold you down, just because you’re YOU. Therefore, to hold on to these lovesick women just so you can get your dick wet when you feel like it, only creates a deeper trauma.
A Place Holder doesn’t know she’s a Place Holder, but you do. These girls may be seen as “just pussy” when you’re on the hunt, but they are human being the same as your Mother, Grandmother, Sister, or Cousin. To pour her heart into a man that never really wanted her, only to have her calls ignored or here, “I found someone,” will make her feel unwanted on a level that few men understand. It’s not your job to be the father that a woman never had or to school her on the game, but it is your job to be a Man. Your aim was sex, you hit it, mission complete. Your aim was a relationship to see if she was the one, she wan’t, mission complete. Why add insult to injury by hanging around? Know when you’ve won and stop being greedy. I don’t care if it’s an ex-girlfriend, a baby mama, or just some random girl you started smashing because you were in a drought, the goal for a King is a Queen. The more time you waste laid up with BasicaBustItOpenPleaseLoveMeFaceAss the less time you have to find the woman you genuinely want. Everyone wants real love, but we often settle for sex as if it’s the next best thing. It’s not even close. I want every man reading this to take out his phone. Look at all the women who you’re having sex with. Then ask yourself if she’s someone you want or something to do. If she’s just something to do, then erase her right now and reserve that space for someone that will inspire you! Find a woman that fulfills you, and stop wasting time with those that service you.