It's easy to get a man's attention. But once you have it... How do you keep a man interested in you? In modern dating, a man chases you, applies pressure, wins you over—then suddenly cools off and falls back.
A week of non-stop texting then nothing.
Months of dating then nothing.
He'll even tell you how much you mean to him... then nothing.
Is it him? Is it you? Or is it how modern day attraction actually works?
How to Make a Man Interested in You and Keep Him Hooked
On today’s episode, we hear from a woman whose relationship is on CPR, as her boyfriend no longer initiates sex, compliments her, takes her out, and all the signs that he was going to propose have stopped.
Romantic fall off is way too common... Some women experience this in marriages. Others deal with it during the dating stage, and despite all this tough talk of "What he won't do, the next man will," The reality is: You don't want another man; you want the guy you like to reciprocate. So how can you fix this?
Keeping a man interested. Let’s break it into the short game and the long game.
Short-Term Attraction: Why Men Pursue So Hard at First
"How do I make a man commit when I don't even recognize the signs that he's losing interest?" Ladies, recognize that damn near everything with men is a game. Instead of reacting to a man, you need to understand how they think, so you're never the naive bird that thinks shallow pursuit = deeper interest.
Early attraction is fueled by the thrill of the chase. You're new, different, exciting: He's in love. Not really but it feels that way to men when lust takes over out little head and big head. The key word today is, LUST.
- The adrenaline rush that comes from chasing New Pussy is such a high that most women don’t have to do anything to get attention, dates, or gifts.
- A man’s lust to unwrap what’s under your clothes keeps him applying pressure.
- A man’s lust blinds him to things he may not like about your personality.
- After he has sex with you, or if he meets another woman who invokes more lust in him than you (example: that new girl he meets at work), then the chase ends.
- Once lust begins to dry out, a man can be honest about how he feels about you and walk away.
Every single week women ask me variations of:
“Why did he change after a few dates?”
“Why does he message me but never ask me out?”
“Why did he lose interest after things got comfortable?”
In the early stage of dating, 9 out of 10 times when a man loses interests it's because he has another woman who he sees as a better option. Or he already has another woman who is a better option.
Think about this. I'll get your number, message you, wanting to fuck because you're new and shiny. After a few conversations, you're not what I thought you were, either you're boring, not flirty, or maybe too awkward or weird for my taste. It's over. Why would I drive somewhere to take out a woman like that? Why would I play the "love bomb" game when I have other girls on the roster?
The initial chase is not proof of long-term investment.
Disinterested men can walk away even without sex, because they have better or easier options than you. In ratchet terms: If a man you recently met doesn't chase beyond messages or texts, it’s usually because he already has access to coochie. "But he still reaches out," sweetie, let go of that ego. Communicating isn't that deep. You are just entertainment, not something he actually wants to spend money on to take out.
Just last month, I had a Zoom call with a reader, and she asked me, “Why is he starting to act differently after four dates, and we didn’t have sex?” I told her that another woman caught his eye. She made excuses as to why that was impossible... Yesterday, she emailed me telling me that her friend saw this guy at some Super Bowl event hugged up with another woman. ...I'm not always right, but I'm right 99% of the time.
Men have exes. Men have girls on dating apps. Men have girls at work. Men have girls from back in their school days. Men have access to past women and new women, so the moment you're not giving the vibes they're after, they will walk away unless you're truly a One of One Gamechanger...
You're Pretty BUT Still A Placeholder
Being pretty won’t necessarily get commitment. "If only I looked like that girl on Instagram that all the rappers thirst after, I'd be happy." No, ma'am, you wouldn't. The grass doesn't become greener by making yourself more of an object for men to lust after, it just means you'll get more attention... the wrong kind of attention 90% of the time from men just looking for a turn.
Pursuit isn't the same thing as emotional attachment!
“Look at my Glow Up! I’m cute, he’s chasing me, I won,” No beloved, you’re getting low-hanging fruit lust-based attention from men who are pretending to care about how your day was. A glow up isn't new titties, it's a new way of thinking, seducing, and bonding that separates you from every other carbon copy woman in a Fashion Nova outfit.
Physical attraction will never trump a soul tie based on shared interests and similar personalities.
If your personality doesn’t mesh with a man's beyond the lust stage, he will eventually lose interest. You look good enough to sleep with, but you're not good enough to be with long-term. This is called being a Placeholder.
I’ve written about this for years and how to become a Game Changer, but you still don’t listen. You’re a Basica, pretending to be a Spartan, and STILL haven’t grasped the fundamentals of my books. I don't care how pretty you are; some random 22-year-old is going to snatch his attention from you, not because she's the cutest, but because he'll see her as way more fun than you are.
"Why doesn't he want me?" Beloved, your connection doesn’t go beyond physical chemistry! You are a placeholder — someone who fills time but isn’t seen as a future partner.
Long-Term Attraction: Why Men Lose Interest During The Relationship Stage
Some of you graduate from the dating stage, make it to a relationship, and then the attraction level from your man falls off. Why?
At this stage is usually isn’t a new woman, as even a married man can lust after new pussy, and still not leave his wife for it. Relationships reveal true incompatibilities that the honeymoon stage of dating masks.
If a man you’ve been with for months or years loses interest and no longer sees a future with you, it’s you.
You’re the problem.
He has realized something about you that has turned him off. This could be legitimate: You do things that truly bother him for no good reason. Or this could be self-sabotage: He’s upset with his own life, so he blames you because he can’t take accountability.
“G.L., we were together for three years, and he just decided he didn’t want to be with me anymore out of the blue. There were no signs.”
There are always signs! There are always ways to stop a man from losing interests
How to Become a Woman a Man Doesn’t Get Bored With
Whether you’re in the short game or long game, lasting attraction requires more than looks or chemistry.
It requires becoming someone who adds value to a man’s life emotionally, mentally, and practically.
In this episode, I break down how to “Spartan Up” and build the qualities that sustain long-term desire and respect.
