Today I’m going to give you something different. Eight Questions with Eight Detailed answers on some of the top things people email or DM me about. Please read to the end. I’m sure something you’re going through will be addressed, and question 8 will shock you…

Question 1: The Core Misunderstanding Between Men & Women

G.L. I’m so sick and tired of getting my hopes up only to be disappointed. My twin sister just celebrated 3 years of marriage, her husband provides, they own two homes, travel, and I’m stuck watching their dog because every man I meet says I’m great, then walks away.

I’ve been cheated on. I’ve been ghosted. I’ve been told “It’s not the right time” twice. If I’m the problem, how do I fix it? How do I better understand what men actually want and become that woman?

There are men who ain’t shit… then there are women who keep choosing those ain’t shit men. Not because they’re stupid, not because they look like easy victims, but because mentally, those women don’t understand men. “I like him a lot… damn, I think this is love” turns into “Damn… how could I be so dumb,” because you don’t know how to play the love game properly.

I don’t care if you’re a woman raised with brothers: You don’t know how men think. I don’t care if you’re Megan Thee Stallion, who writes songs about lying ass men: You don’t know how men think. When you don’t educate yourself on the mind of a man, how to discern real from fake, then you will continue to choose the wrong men. Men lie. Men lose interest. Men are greedy for different women. But men are also capable of not giving into fuck boy behavior if he’s presented with the right woman who puts his ass in CHECK.

Tell a man what you’ve been through in the past, and he’ll hold your hand, promise you the world, then use that information to break you down. It’s not about sex, it’s about control. Stop seeing these men as your “friends” and recognize that the best defense is offense. Make them chase. Make them invest. Make them pour so much equity into you that they can’t victimize you because you’ve gotten way more than you’ve put in. That’s called leverage, ladies. There are levels to power, and your first lesson starts now:

Women believe: “If he’s showing interest, he must be serious… or getting there.”

But the reality is: Men can show consistent attention without any intention of building a relationship.

To most men, attention is cheap. But for too many women, attention feels like a promise. “Why would he spend so much time with me or say all these things if he doesn’t see me as serious?” That’s how we as males operate; you can’t be flattered because the same way he’s in your face, he was in another girl’s face last year. It’s the same exact playbook, not proof of a soul tie.

1. Consistency = Commitment (it doesn’t)

• “We talk every day… but I don’t know where I stand.”
• He texts, calls, hangs out… but avoids defining anything.

You interpret frequency as emotional depth. You fail to recognize that he’s just comfortable, not committed.

2. Chemistry = Intent (it really doesn’t)

• “We have such a strong connection… why isn’t he stepping up?”
• “He says I’m different from his exes… but why aren’t things escalating?”

You think the feeling is mutual, based on a vibe and hollow praise. You’re failing to realize that for him, it’s just an experience. Men live in the moment. Every new girl is “The best”. Every high is “better than my ex” because he’s caught up in the novelty. In reality, his words don’t hold water, he’s just caught up in the moment. But you’re the kind of woman who loves to be compared to other women, to feel superior, to feel like you’re special. This ego is why you buy into the weak words and love bombing actions of iconsistent men.

3. Potential = Reality (the classic trap)

• “I see who he could be if he just focus or didn’t have all these distractions”
• “Things will go back to how they were during the honeymoon phase. I just need to stick it out.”

You’re dating the projection; you’re in love with the mask; you’re convinced that his hot-and-cold nature can be fixed. In reality, men know how to turn on the charm when motivated. They can be damn near perfect when a girl is “new pussy” or when they get in trouble, they can apologize and be sweet again. But that’s not who he is, he can’t live up to that potential because it’s an act, not who he is at the core.

4. Effort in moments = Overall investment (nope)

• Big dates, intense nights, emotional conversations…
• Public displays online or offline that claim you as his…

These things numb your common sense by putting makeup on a pig. The highs are hitting a level where you ignore the gaps in his behavior, sweep the inconsistencies under the rug, and avoid the lingering issuesyour intuition is pointing out. “But we have such a strong connection… he’s doing things other men don’t do… it has to be real, right?” Fuck the dates, fuck the Instagram posts, and look at the one-on-one behavior. If the effort is 10 followed by 2, 3, 2, then the sum of his effort is low as fuck! He’s playing you!

5. “He hasn’t decided yet” (he usually has)

• “Maybe he just needs more time…”
• “He says, that he has to take care of a few things and then we can be together…”

Most men know early what category a woman is in. Time doesn’t change his mind. He knew from the end of your first conversation where you would end up in his life. Men operate from a place of classification, not falling in love slowly. Very early on, a man generally places a woman into one of these buckets:

• casual / fun
• situational / convenient
• relationship / long-term

And here’s the part women resist: If a man wants you for real, his behavior becomes unmistakably clear and he always moves in the direction of a long-term relationship. Men who are serious about you are clear, consistent, and they keep moving upward, fast, determined, and competitive. There is no dragging his feet. There is no “wait until,” and no obstacle stands in his way. He has to have you, and will move mountains to get you, not sexually, but as his committed woman.

Why Women Keep Missing This Fact…

Too many women filter male behavior through female attraction patterns:

• Women grow into feelings → so they assume men do too
• Women attach through consistency → so they value time spent
• Women see potential → so they invest early

Think about all the love stories that include a woman saying, “I didn’t like him at first, but he grew on me, and I fell in love.” MEN RARELY DO THAT KIND OF SHIT. Women don’t grow on us; it’s either all in Gamechanger or “this bitch is a placeholder until I can do better“.

You are a woman, so you THINK like a woman, and historically, women have allowed for growth and evolution, so your logic becomes: If I just give this more time, it’ll become something deeper.

But with men: Time without escalation = confirmation, not progress.

If you have to interpret his behavior, ask others what they think, or do any kind of mental gymnastics, then you’re avoiding the truth: That Man Doesn’t Want You. Love is simple. Any person who has shown you complications, given endless excuses, or pointed to someone else’s struggle as a reason to stick around is a liar. If he wants you, he makes it happen.

Instead of:

• “Why is he like this?”
• “How do I get him to step up?”

The real question is, based on his current behavior, what has he already decided?

He doesn’t want you because you gave away ALL of your power too fast. You fucked him quick. You spent too much time with him. You let your guard down too early. Why? Because you date with hope instead of dating with strategy.

Strategy dictates that you reserve your pussy until he’s invested time, energy, and money. Strategy demands that you don’t center your world around one man, you stay busy, you see him on your terms, and you don’t be too available. Strategy means that you don’t over-share, you don’t let your emotions show, and that you play poker and make him reveal his true nature long before you talk about your history.

When you play this kind of offense, men are the ones that are left vulnerable. He’s spent money, he always wants to see you, he’s told you his story, he’s admited his fears, and you’ve done nothing but play along. He’s your mark. He’s your pawn. You’re the Queen controlling the chess board.

If you can’t do that, if you can’t date strategically, then go back and read my books. Or if you’re not confident enough to do those things, then maybe my answer to this next question will help you…

Question 2

I’m in my early 30s and it’s not that I don’t want a man on an equal or greater level than me, but where I live the options for established men are very limited. Can it be called settling when you have no choice? Please break down the following, G.L.: How do you find quality men? Where do you go to meet quality men? What do you say to quality men to STAND OUT?

You’re full of shit. Most of you settle because you don’t look for options in the first place. You assume that the man that’s giving you attention is the only man you are able to get. When was the last time you actually tried to date multiple men instead of dating one at a time. “My city doesn’t have that many eligible men” is a big ass lie. The reality is YOU DON’T seek men, you wait to be chose, and then settle.

Ladies if you want to become a woman that ends up married to a high value man, here’s what you have to understand about the manifestation. Attracting better options starts with the confidence of mind that better exists. When you make excuses like a stubborn basica you are living in a passive victim mindset. Being a victim of your city, being a passive character in your own life story, it all leads to you manifesting low quality results. Spartans are powerful God minds. Are you? Go read the first chapter of Date Like A Spartan? Do you feel that kind of power or do you doubt you can win in this world? You are a doubting weak bitch if you ever fix your mouth to say “no one is out there I may as well settle.”

Now let’s talk about how to find quality men…

The first step is being confident enough to know that you are pretty enough and smart enough to stand in front of any man and make him thirsty. The second step is to look at the city you live in and come up with a game plan, the same way I’ve done for years with the women who email me personally. Let’s use two examples on how to find men. Example 1: You live in a small city. Example 2: You live in a big city.

Let’s start with the first Example. I want you to get a notepad and write out three things that will help with this game plan to secure a man ASAP. Line one needs to show: How many people live in your city. Google can help you with that. Cut that number in half, and then cut it in half again. You’ll have at least that many men in your city who are eligible. By eligible I mean, single or looking to become single. If that number is higher than 500, then you don’t even need a dating app. You can go to the hot spots in town and do the things I wrote in Men Don’t Love Women Like You. I write these books for you to USE not just skim through. If that number is less than 500, then your town is small, so you’ll need to use other tools. Dating apps where you can set the distance outside of just your city. For instance, if you live in a small town in Delaware, search in Philadelphia, Jersey, or Maryland. Yes, they will have to travel longer, but aren’t you worth it.

The next thing to write down is how you’ve met your exes in the past. This helps tell the story of how proactive you’ve been. If everything is “we met at school/work” or “I was introduced to them” then you’ve never gone after someone. Mind you going after doesn’ t mean chasing. As I wrote in my books, it’s about putting yourself on a man’s radar to come and talk to you. So look at your habits in terms of meeting men and see if that’s something that needs to change.

The final thing is mindset! How has being sinlge affected you? How has being in a toxic relationship harmed you. On that final line, on a scale of 1-10 how is your mental health. That’s hard right? Now we’re getting into some real shit.

Are you depressed? Are you basic minded? Are you defeatist in the way you view your life? Most of you have trash love lives because you don’t think that the kind of men you want will want you back. Yes, you have power over the simps, but telling an unattractive or corny man to take you out or buy you something isn’t Spartan power it’s little pussy energy. Let me see you do that with a handsome or popular man… You can’t because you’re scared of them. The only power some women have is sexual, but most of you use your vagina like a water gun not an Infinity Gauntlet. Imagine what your relationships would look like if you understood you were a Goddess instead of a Pick Me!

When some good looking guy wants to stick his dick in you, what happens? YOU LET HIM FUCK, think the sex means something deeper, and feel on top of the world… then he ghosts you and you realize once again that you aren’t empowered you’re just easy. Change the direction of your life by changing how your brain views your place in this world. There are two types of women, bystanders who react and get victimized and Goddesses who dictate and conquer. Which one are you?

Do you want true power? Then move like you’re already on top of the world. Know you’re THAT BITCH. Feel it. Now life it. If you have a good job, then why are you still playing in the mud with Broke Brandon and Struggling Sam? No more “project dicks” those types of guys who you try and bring up to your level. From now on you only date men above your level. How? By creating standards!

Be honest, the standards in your head are different from your standards when you get approached on a Saturday night. If you don’t beleive in yourself, if you take what you can get, if your words don’t match your actions when you look at your life so far, and finally if you are terrified of the dating process because you don’t trust yourself to choose right. Then your mental health on that last line will be a low number.

Those three lines you have in front of you. That’s what’s making you settle. Doesn’t matter the city you live in that much, but how you approach guys or lead guys to approach you matters a lot. What you do with those men in terms of being able to vett them and hold them to a standard. Matters a lot. So don’t talk about settling, talk about confidence! That’s how you land a man, Basica.

Options Vs Preferences…

“there’s no men that have what I have, so I’m forced to date and fuck this group.” Lies on top of lies!

No one forces anyone to date anyone they don’t want to, you fear that if you hold out for what you want, you will end up alone because you aren’t good enough to actually attract and keep the one you want. It’s also this self-deception that you don’t like those Fix-A-Dick Types. Some of you will never admit that it has nothing to do with options, it has everything to do with preference. If you like taking care of a man, if you like feeling needed and valuable, then admit that.

If you want hood dick, say you want hood dick. If you get turned on by being Mama to a man that is in need, say that. If drug dealers or scammers make your pussy wet because you like rough men with fast lives, admit to it. Just don’t go out in the world with limited proof of why you date down trying to make your choice seem like a necessity.

My advice is always Get The Fuck Out Of Your Comfort Zone. That doesn’t just apply to choosing fundraisers over happy hours or walks in the park over walks through the mall, it also applies to networking with people that are already around you. You think your co-workers are corny or you’re private and they don’t come from the places you come from, so you don’t associate with them outside of work. Mistake. You never know who can put you up on something different. You feel uncomfortable in fancy places, you like chicken wings and Future playing in the background at the bar. Cool, but it wouldn’t hurt you to go to a different side of town every few weeks? Date someone outside your race. Date someone older. Just try out new things. “I don’t know where to meet those types.” There we go again…

Stop lying.. You must put in work socially in order to meet new people that can easily be your gateway to someone new you connect with, who has the same hustle and drive as you. Staying in the house or going to the same places with the same people on the weekends isn’t trying it’s being content.

You’re a woman, you will attract men wherever you go, but you must have the confidence to say, “fuck it” and try something against type. You shouldn’t go shopping for a husband in the same place ratchet hoes are shopping for dick, but you do because you’re lazy and uncreative. There will always be a man at the bar that’s relatable, that tells the same hood ass jokes, has that same hood ass swagger, and will tell you how different you are from the rest of the women he meets. But in the end, after he fucks you and keeps it moving, or uses you for money and falls back, you can’t cry out like the victim. This is a big world filled with cities connected by roads, if you chose to stay in the same place and deal with the type of men that always fuck you over rather than finding one that brings the same thing you bring to the table, that’s your choice. It’s not about money, it’s about quality of life. As a grown ass woman you can’t afford to deal with those bum ass men that aren’t doing shit but waiting for you to get off work so you can fuck them.

Question 3

What’s wrong with dating a man that makes less than me? Money can come and go, but having someone that really loves you is forever.

There’s nothing wrong with dating a man that makes less than you if his backstory and character is that of someone who is trying to better his life. Men who aren’t users don’t give a fuck about what a woman earns so why should it be a double standard where women need to put “makes more money than me” at the top of the list? This is where the peer pressure and fronting for social media comes into play. No one walks around with their net worth on their forehead, having a Benz doesn’t mean you have money, wearing Gucci doesn’t mean you’re balling, that’s basic shit.

When actually dating you judge a person on their personality, if they are working a reputable job or in school aiming for a career, and how they treat you. Yet, when real life topics hit the internet, it becomes as simple as “If he’s broke don’t fuck with him, girl” as if the average 19-24-year-old isn’t broke as fuck.

The problem isn’t young people dating young people. It’s the 25 and above women, who take care of men. Let’s think about this progressively. This is the 21st century. A woman can propose to a man, she can take care of the bills while the man stays home and takes care of the kids. There are no rules that say “men do this while women have to do XYZ.” But let’s be real…

As a woman, to have a man who can’t do anything for you but give you a kiss and ask for money to pay his car note, how does that make you feel? When your friends go on vacation or you all go out to dinner and their boyfriends or husbands are reaching for the check and your “man” is handing you the check to pay it, how does that make you feel? They have males in their lives who can step up and make them feel like Queens. You have a man who loves you, but makes you feel masculine.

What about broke women? Women who don’t have anything but want a “baller”? Can a girl at a call center be so picky? Can that hostess who makes 18hr really judge a guy who makes 22hr? Online it’s all about $200 dates and don’t split rent, but in real life should you be so stuck up when you don’t have much in your savings?

Fuck that noise. Your real-life standards should always be high no matter who you are or where you work, but dating is a journey where you must understand where you are in life and what you need to see from someone that wants to take you off the market. You’re a woman. You are the trophy. I don’t care what you make, and if you’re account is $50 from overddraft. You CAN get a man with money to see you as his prize.

Why? Because men don’t give a fuck about a woman’s networth. Are you pretty? Are you fun? Are you smart? Would you make a compatible partner and a strong parent?

If you’re broke don’t settle for a 30 year old who’s just as broke as you. If you have money and a thriving career, never settle for a 30 year old who can’t at least match what you’re doing. Males with less who you have to take care of will always resent you because you’re emasculating him. Males with less while you have lesss, can only keep holding you down. Next thing you know you’re pregnant and your child is in what tax bracket???

You deserve princess treatment. You can get it. So if you want to date down because you feel that only men with LESS can ever love you, then that’s a choice your making out of fear or ignorance. Beloved, there are plenty of men, white, black, brown, who will see you as a must have. Stop thinking that only the “FIX A DICK” type are what you can pull. Realize your value, understand your worth, and go back and read Ho Tactics, and remember that if you don’t get these wealthy men, then other women will…

Listen & Learn

Question 4

I have been dating a man for the past two months, we finally had sex, now his communication has slowed down. He does text but it feels like he’s just keeping up appearances, he hasn’t asked to see me again and I’m not sure if it would be playing myself to initiate a date. Was it the sex?

Pussy is everywhere—chemistry isn’t. Therefore, it wasn’t the vagina, it was the woman connected to the vagina that he decided wasn’t worth the effort anymore. Before you get depressed or angry thinking I’m placing the blame on the woman over the man, let’s break it down so none of this is misinterpreted. A man that chases you doesn’t actually want you, he wants the idea of you in the shallowest way possible.

His lust doesn’t take into account three things: 1) If he wants/is ready for something serious. 2) Who you are as a person. 3) If you two are compatible on a deeper level. Ladies, one thing to remember is that a man’s dick getting hard for you or his mouth wanting to snack on you isn’t proof of anything but a basic sexual attraction. You should hear the shit that goes through my mind every time I see Tinashe, but it’s just me being a man. I don’t know that woman enough to actually want her and these guys you start talking to that give chase don’t know you well enough initially to actually want you. The same way you’re judging him to see if he’s different from your exes, he’s judging you to see if you’re not only different from the last chick he ran through but if his interests in you holds up through the ups and downs of the honeymoon stage of the pre-relationship.

2-3 months of dating is light, especially if sex hasn’t been introduced yet. It’s all false highs and lust fueled emotions. No matter how deep the conversations, how much you have in common, or the places a man takes you, it won’t be until AFTER he either fucks you or gets to know you more that that lust gives way to the question EVERY MAN asks himself in the privacy of his own mind, “could I actually be with her?” In this case of a guy falling back after a few months, the answer is obvious. If a guy goes from being up your ass for weeks to barely responding to your text, then he made up his mind that you’re not what he’s looking for or ready for. That shit hurts because the rejection seems to be on a physical and emotional level. He knows your sense of humor—still doesn’t want you. He heard your life story and life goals—still doesn’t want you. He fucked you like he loved you and made your toes curl—still doesn’t want you. Now you’re stuck with these raging emotions that you weren’t good enough to keep someone and you’ll do anything to make that pain and confusion go away.

When Insecure did that “Broken Pussy” rap, I received so many emails about “is it my pussy?” because she put it in the atmosphere that no matter how dope of a woman you are, your pussy can be sooooo trash that no man wants to commit to you. Of course, that was just a TV scenario meant to spark conversation, not how real life works. Your pussy has about as much chance of locking down a man as a Pepsi has of stopping police brutality. Your vagina may be amazing, but it’s not magical.

Guys get bomb pussy that they don’t think twice about the next day, it’s never as important as internet idiots try to make it out to be. The same way that you’re looking for more out of a man than his dick size and stroke, a man is looking for more than a tight wet hole that makes him cum. Busting nuts grows on trees, but a man caught up in the grip of lust will act in this temporarily insane way that makes you believe that he’s after more than sex until his mind catches up with his dick. Everyone will make the mistake of having sex with someone that didn’t want them, it’s not the end of the world, it’s a lesson to be learned about reading men, their want for sex, and understanding if their agenda is lust based or love based early on.

Question 5

My friend says that you can’t be too nasty the first time you have sex with a man or else he may judge you as a hoe. I’m dominate in the bedroom, as it is the only way I can cum consistently, but should I submit and play the role of the shy girl and then ease him into my sexual wants?

Stop giving a fuck about a man’s opinion of who you are! No matter if I’m talking about dating multiple men, asking for money, or how fast you have sex, I hear the rebuttal of “but he’ll think I’m this…” or “but when women do things like that men call us blah blah blah…” Are you living for yourself or for the squeaky-clean image of how men will perceive you? Is your life tied to the judgment of these peasant ass men that call women misogynistic things based on their own insecurities or are you a Queen that has her head held too high to give a fuck about what they’re saying about you? No matter what you do in the bedroom, a man could have something to say, it’s not something you can control by playing possum.

You can lay there like a corpse, lightly moan, and make him cum in two minutes, and he could still go back to the homies and say you’re a smut. You could flip him around eat his ass, then ride his dick until you cream on it, and he could tell his mother that you’re a nice Christian woman with marriage potential. You can’t limit yourself for the sake of outside appearances because that’s being fake as fuck. Why do we have sex in the first place? To have fun and cum. Are you really going to spend all that time flirting and dating and teasing, only to turtle up in silence, get a nut bust on you, and come away with the highlight of the night being that at least the post-sex rag was warm? Fuck No! The right to enter your vagina is a gift, it’s not something you let every man do, so the least you can do is satisfy your kitty by unleashing your true desires every time you bust it open.

Question 6

I’m in a situationship with a man that has a longtime girlfriend. Initially, I thought he was single and during this courting stage he treated me better than any man I’ve dated. I suspected something was up as we would have early evening dates and only talk during specific times of the day. I finally confronted him and he was honest about his girlfriend, but dropped the bombshell that he didn’t want to lose me.

His behavior isn’t that of a user, we don’t have sex all the time, and he says he is trying to get from under her, but it’s complicated. Do you think there is any hope for me having an actual relationship or is this the dick tactic of a man that just wants two women?

This is the most common mindfuck situation that I’m contacted about, as these days there are more guys with two or more girlfriends than you would think. Anytime you hear a girl crying, “He had a whole girlfriend, yet he’s trying to get at me,” she’s most likely already fallen for that guy she’s complaining about. I’ve already written about how to remove a woman from a man’s life and claim him, but this isn’t a case of a Spartan kicking another bitch in the chest and usurping power.

This is a case of a savvy man toying with a naïve girl by leading her to believe he wants her more than his woman or will leave his woman. In this situationship the man is in power—which means you’ve already fucked up. Let me shed some light on why men play it this way because I just visited my buddy in Baltimore that was doing this dick tactic for over a year. When a man meets a woman that has the potential to be a side, but whom he knows will reject the idea, he baits her with treatment. The reason men with girlfriends’ date better than single men is because they are overcompensating. These women are caught off guard because it is a different level of courting by a man that knows how to treat a woman. Rightfully a girl will think, “something must be wrong if this type of man is still single.” Ya think???

Good looking, doing well for himself, knows how to please a woman, and isn’t pushing for sex early and often? Of course, a woman has already scooped him up because he knows how to act. By the time a woman realizes that something isn’t adding up and has the courage to call him out, a man will often admit to having another girl, knowing that this new girl is now sprung.

It’s an easy hustle to pull off, because like this woman’s situationship, there are more women that will continue with the affair than those that will walk away. Despite all the shit girls talk about, “I’d never do that, it’s bad karma,” when push comes to shove a woman’s true character will be revealed. When you’re faced with this type of choice in real life, the last thing on your mind will be karma, it’s your ego that’s being serviced with the idea that you’re so bomb that a man will leave what he has for you. Female versus female, that’s one of the corner stones in manipulating competitive women. That need to feel as if they have something other women don’t makes them feel special. In reality, this man is just saying what he has to say to seal the deal.

I’ve heard so many excuses, from they live together and he can’t break the lease, they own a business together and it would ruin him financially, and of course “I stay for my kids.” It’s all a load of shit. That man knows that to create a good and loyal side chick you must psychologically build her up like she’s a main chick with main chick benefits coming soon. If you want to get from out of this situation, you have to test his conviction by forcing his hand. The only thing you have to ask is for him to call her on speaker and break the news that he’s seeing someone else.

If it’s about living arrangements and the lease, him confessing won’t break the lease, right? She’ll most likely move out or be forced to live there until it ends because cheating doesn’t legally dictate that someone vacate the premises if both names are on the lease. If it’s about the kids and custody, then that’s something that will always be an issue, in the time you’ve been talking he hasn’t come up with a plan to keep the kids happy? He wants you to wait around until they’re 18? Give me a break.

In terms of his money being tied up, again, cheating doesn’t legally take money out of a joint-venture business. She doesn’t suddenly get full ownership of their event planning shindig because he chose you. These excuses are obviously trash, but they rely on you being so in love, so sprung, that you won’t use common sense to question the legitimacy of why they are still together and why you need to play that side role.

This is a taboo subject because many of you reading this are dealing with taken people for reasons you can’t explain nor want to talk about. The self-hypnotic reason you use is that you’re not the one in the relationship, you’re not the one cheating, so your conscious is clear. The problem is you are in a relationship emotionally. You want that man, you think about him, you are sad that he doesn’t come home to you and that you have to play your part and hide in the shadows until he tells you it’s all clear.

The difference between a mistress and a side chick is that the mistress understands that it’s an arrangement, not a love affair. You’re a side with visions of being wifey, and you’re going to waste years chasing a mirage. Why would you want to live that kind of life? The fact that you are clinging on to “soon” means that this is deeper than just getting off physically or egotistically, you are open and don’t want to leave even though you know you’re being lied to and strung along. The solution is to pull his card by making him confess, if he refuses to (and most likely he will) then you have your answer—he’s having his cake and eating it too. Never put yourself on the Shareable menu when you should be listed as an Entrée.

Question 7

My friend and I have been talking for the past three months, and everything is perfect in terms of chemistry, conversation, and treatment. The problem is that I feel he’s gotten comfortable to the point where he’s not going to ask me to be his girlfriend. I don’t want to be the typical girl that gives an ultimatum, but at this point how else can I get him to give me what I want?

This is the most outdated question I get, and it’s based on the notion that women should keep their mouths close, don’t pressure a man for more, and wait for him to tell her where he wants to take the relationship. In this scenario, the man has all the power and the woman is simply a passenger.

If you’ve read MDLWLY, this is the top thing the second half of the book gives strategy on. But at this point when you’re already relinquished it you have to Spartan Up in a risky yet effective way. If this were an Alpha male in this situation what would he do? He meets a woman he wants, vibes with, and everything is perfect, would he ever sit there like a pussy feeling like he has no ownership of his future, and that he should wait for her to bring it up? Fuqqqqq no! an Alpha would do one of two things, drop the news cleverly that they’re together or straight up tell her he wants her to be his girl.

Some girls don’t like to be sneak claimed and will clap back with a, “Um, who said I was your girl?” Other women like the aggression of a man just putting it out there and taking control of the title. The point is, this isn’t about gender roles, this is about being progressive. Telling a man that you’re ready to be with him exclusively isn’t the same as getting down on bended knee and proposing to a guy. Yet, some women still cling on to this notion that if a man wants you to be his girl he’ll make you his girl. “A real man isn’t going to leave you wondering,” but here you are, so what does that mean? That you’re in love with a non-real man? Life doesn’t play out like internet memes or “you know it’s real when…” examples.

Every male is different, and my example of what an Alpha male would do doesn’t translate to what a beta male would. These millennial men y’all date tend to be sensitive and may be unsure of how to move forward especially if the topic of commitment hasn’t been talked about. Therefore, we have some men that will follow along in silence just like women do, with neither having the guts to speak up.

Adults talk, they don’t just hang around each other. If it’s been three months and no one has said shit about where it’s going, then you need to be woman enough to solve this problem by taking matters into your own hands. Don’t be some little girl that gets an attitude because “he’s not being a man and claiming me.” It’s you that’s suffering the more that time goes by, so you can’t afford to be shy or fearful of confrontation. Spartan up, Speak up!

The moment you are sure that you want him, ready to take yourself off the market and commit fully, open your mouth and tell him. “I feel as if I’ve had enough time to get to know you and at this point I think the next step is to actually be in a relationship. What do you think?” That is all you need to say. The reason why most of you won’t say that is because you don’t know what he will respond with and it scares the fuck out of you. If this guy who you’ve spent months falling for fixes his face to say, “I don’t think I’m ready, let’s keep building.” It will crush you. You’ll be confused as to if you should stay or go, and it causes problems in what was a great relationship. B.u.l.l.s.h.i.t.

It was never a great relationship, it was two people hanging out! If you want something real you must be willing to take a risk and ask a question that will either clear up all confusion and give you what you want or prove that you’re wasting your time and should move on. You all know that I hate this concept of “Don’t waste my time,” and the reason why is that women and men waste their own damn time by not talking openly. A direct question gets you a direct answer! Either he says he’s ready or he says he’s not. Stop being a pussy and hiding from the rejection of “no” because it’s better to find out three months in that this man doesn’t want you or isn’t sure about you, then to keep playing the role of girlfriend to a man that isn’t interested in one.

Question 8:

G.L., as a married man, I know you have other married friends. Be brutally honest. What is the top thing that has made either you or your friends know for sure that a woman is worth marrying? I feel like we, as women, assume what “wifey” material is, but rarely ask this question to married men.

Youtube, Tiktok, your single girlfriends, or your friends in the dating or relationship stage can’t tell you shit about marriage just like a guy making 100k a year can’t tell you shit about becoming a millionaire.

Let’s get rid of “I think” and focus on what I KNOW. The main thing to look for in a long-term partner is temperament. A woman who is able to communicate without argument or assumption. A woman who is able to listen without having a solution or chiming in with an opinion. A true partner who brings a perspective that we appreciate and can learn from.

This sounds simple, but in the real world, think about how most women date. They date with baggage, with paranoia, and with an ego. The moment a man doesn’t do something she understands, she gets angry because she’s still hurt from an ex.

The moment a man contradicts or mispeaks, she accuses instead of clarifying because she’s always fearful of being hurt. Most women say they submit to the right men, but even that’s flawed logic; a man doesn’t need submission, he needs complementary behavior. “You should have done that… forget it, I’ll do it myself… Why do you ask my opinion if you don’t listen to what I say?” is proof that a woman has dated manchilds who needed a mother to boss them around, not a woman who knows how to let a man take charge at times.

There are plenty of people who can get married based on lust or delusion. But when the lust runs out, or when they finally have to admit they married someone they don’t really love for convenience, it ends within the first 5 years.

Your ass size gets boring. Your pretty face becomes normal. All of the shallow “but she’s so beautiful, so thick, so skinny, so sexy” compliments do not matter in a long-term relationship. A man is attracted to beauty; he has a fetish for certain features, but all lust dies. What remains is a woman he can’t live without because her personality complements his own.

The key to a lasting marriage for a woman starts in the dating stage. A man is looking for a woman who is secure, wise, open-minded, and not tainted by past relationships. No one wants bitter, no one wants overly submissive, no one wants attitude, and no one wants a prison warden who is so afraid of being hurt that they date with jealousy, are clingy, or emotionally up and down.

Men want consistency. Men want sexy. Men want fun. Men want a carefree woman who, no matter what happens, they can come home to and laugh with, not one who’s always in her own head, moody, and unpredictable. That’s wifey.

If you have a question. Email it to me @ WBRStory@gmail.com and I’ll either answer it on the site or on my podcast…

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