Today I’m going to give you something different. Eight Questions with Eight Detailed answers on some of the top things people email or DM me about. Please read to the end. I'm sure something you're going through will be addressed, and question 8 will shock you...

Question 1: The Core Misunderstanding Between Men & Women

G.L. I'm so sick and tired of getting my hopes up only to be disappointed. My twin sister just celebrated 3 years of marriage, her husband provides, they own two homes, travel, and I'm stuck watching their dog because every man I meet says I'm great, then walks away.

I've been cheated on. I've been ghosted. I've been told "It's not the right time" twice. If I'm the problem, how do I fix it? How do I better understand what men actually want and become that woman?

There are men who ain't shit... then there are women who keep choosing those ain't shit men. Not because they're stupid, not because they look like easy victims, but because mentally, those women don't understand men. "I like him a lot... damn, I think this is love" turns into "Damn... how could I be so dumb," because you don't know how to play the love game properly.

I don't care if you're a woman raised with brothers: You don't know how men think. I don't care if you're Megan Thee Stallion, who writes songs about lying ass men: You don't know how men think. When you don't educate yourself on the mind of a man, how to discern real from fake, then you will continue to choose the wrong men. Men lie. Men lose interest. Men are greedy for different women. But men are also capable of not giving into fuck boy behavior if he's presented with the right woman who puts his ass in CHECK.

Tell a man what you've been through in the past, and he'll hold your hand, promise you the world, then use that information to break you down. It's not about sex, it's about control. Stop seeing these men as your "friends" and recognize that the best defense is offense. Make them chase. Make them invest. Make them pour so much equity into you that they can't victimize you because you've gotten way more than you've put in. That's called leverage, ladies. There are levels to power, and your first lesson starts now:

Women believe: “If he’s showing interest, he must be serious… or getting there.”

But the reality is: Men can show consistent attention without any intention of building a relationship.

To most men, attention is cheap. But for too many women, attention feels like a promise. "Why would he spend so much time with me or say all these things if he doesn't see me as serious?" That's how we as males operate; you can't be flattered because the same way he's in your face, he was in another girl's face last year. It's the same exact playbook, not proof of a soul tie.

1. Consistency = Commitment (it doesn’t)

• “We talk every day… but I don’t know where I stand.”
• He texts, calls, hangs out… but avoids defining anything.

You interpret frequency as emotional depth. You fail to recognize that he’s just comfortable, not committed.

2. Chemistry = Intent (it really doesn’t)

• “We have such a strong connection… why isn’t he stepping up?”
• "He says I'm different from his exes... but why aren't things escalating?"

You think the feeling is mutual, based on a vibe and hollow praise. You're failing to realize that for him, it’s just an experience. Men live in the moment. Every new girl is "The best". Every high is "better than my ex" because he's caught up in the novelty. In reality, his words don't hold water, he's just caught up in the moment. But you're the kind of woman who loves to be compared to other women, to feel superior, to feel like you're special. This ego is why you buy into the weak words and love bombing actions of iconsistent men.

3. Potential = Reality (the classic trap)

• “I see who he could be if he just focus or didn't have all these distractions”
• "Things will go back to how they were during the honeymoon phase. I just need to stick it out."

You're dating the projection; you're in love with the mask; you're convinced that his hot-and-cold nature can be fixed. In reality, men know how to turn on the charm when motivated. They can be damn near perfect when a girl is "new pussy" or when they get in trouble, they can apologize and be sweet again. But that's not who he is, he can't live up to that potential because it's an act, not who he is at the core.

4. Effort in moments = Overall investment (nope)

• Big dates, intense nights, emotional conversations…
• Public displays online or offline that claim you as his...

These things numb your common sense by putting makeup on a pig. The highs are hitting a level where you ignore the gaps in his behavior, sweep the inconsistencies under the rug, and avoid the lingering issuesyour intuition is pointing out. "But we have such a strong connection... he's doing things other men don't do... it has to be real, right?" Fuck the dates, fuck the Instagram posts, and look at the one-on-one behavior. If the effort is 10 followed by 2, 3, 2, then the sum of his effort is low as fuck! He's playing you!

5. “He hasn’t decided yet” (he usually has)

• “Maybe he just needs more time…”
• "He says, that he has to take care of a few things and then we can be together..."

Most men know early what category a woman is in. Time doesn’t change his mind. He knew from the end of your first conversation where you would end up in his life. Men operate from a place of classification, not falling in love slowly. Very early on, a man generally places a woman into one of these buckets:

• casual / fun
• situational / convenient
• relationship / long-term

And here’s the part women resist: If a man wants you for real, his behavior becomes unmistakably clear and he always moves in the direction of a long-term relationship. Men who are serious about you are clear, consistent, and they keep moving upward, fast, determined, and competitive. There is no dragging his feet. There is no "wait until," and no obstacle stands in his way. He has to have you, and will move mountains to get you, not sexually, but as his committed woman.

Why Women Keep Missing This Fact...

Too many women filter male behavior through female attraction patterns:

• Women grow into feelings → so they assume men do too
• Women attach through consistency → so they value time spent
• Women see potential → so they invest early

Think about all the love stories that include a woman saying, "I didn't like him at first, but he grew on me, and I fell in love." MEN RARELY DO THAT KIND OF SHIT. Women don't grow on us; it's either all in Gamechanger or "this bitch is a placeholder until I can do better".

You are a woman, so you THINK like a woman, and historically, women have allowed for growth and evolution, so your logic becomes: If I just give this more time, it’ll become something deeper.

But with men: Time without escalation = confirmation, not progress.

If you have to interpret his behavior, ask others what they think, or do any kind of mental gymnastics, then you're avoiding the truth: That Man Doesn't Want You. Love is simple. Any person who has shown you complications, given endless excuses, or pointed to someone else's struggle as a reason to stick around is a liar. If he wants you, he makes it happen.

Instead of:

• “Why is he like this?”
• “How do I get him to step up?”

The real question is, based on his current behavior, what has he already decided?

He doesn't want you because you gave away ALL of your power too fast. You fucked him quick. You spent too much time with him. You let your guard down too early. Why? Because you date with hope instead of dating with strategy.

Strategy dictates that you reserve your pussy until he's invested time, energy, and money. Strategy demands that you don't center your world around one man, you stay busy, you see him on your terms, and you don't be too available. Strategy means that you don't over-share, you don't let your emotions show, and that you play poker and make him reveal his true nature long before you talk about your history.

When you play this kind of offense, men are the ones that are left vulnerable. He's spent money, he always wants to see you, he's told you his story, he's admited his fears, and you've done nothing but play along. He's your mark. He's your pawn. You're the Queen controlling the chess board.

If you can't do that, if you can't date strategically, then go back and read my books. Or if you're not confident enough to do those things, then maybe my answer to this next question will help you...

Question 2

I'm in my early 30s and it's not that I don’t want a man on an equal or greater level than me, but where I live the options for established men are very limited. Can it be called settling when you have no choice? Please break down the following, G.L.: How do you find quality men? Where do you go to meet quality men? What do you say to quality men to STAND OUT?

Answer: