A man can ask you for sex—and get it! …But you can’t even ask them for uber money, rent money, plane fair, or help with a bill? “I’m not a prostitute”. You’re not smart either. Why would you ever give your mind, body, and soul to a man who hasn’t invested his time, effort, or money? Basicas think courting is text messages and “come see me,” is putting in work. He texts you all day and opens up about his dreams and goals, YAYYYY! Do you want a cookie for getting the same level of pursuit as a 16-year-old? A woman who understands her value knows that “I like you” requires proof and “I love you” requires deep receipts!
-If he likes you, he will work around even a busy schedule to make sure he’s consistently spending time with you.
-If he likes you then he would take you out on dates that reflect how special he thinks you are.
-If he likes you, he will come out of his pocket to treat you to nice things or gifts.
“I love you,” is cheap and meaningless unless they’ve put their time, effort, and money, where their mouth is. Some of you are nodding along in agreement BUT you still won’t ask for this kind of treatment, especially money.
Closed mouths and open legs don’t mix! How are you in the dating stage, relationship stage, or even married and afraid to ask the man you’re with for money or gifts? “If my man wants me to have something he’ll offer,” do you hear that? That’s a Basica with pride fumbling the bag. You’re so afraid to hear “no” or so focused on being independent that you don’t realize how easy it is to get what you want from these men. Just last month this woman who read and had the courage to use my book Ho Tactics can come away with 10k from a man she had only known a week—no sex, no tongue kissing, no nudes being shared, she simply asked, and he gave. Meanwhile you’re sitting their paying ALL your own rent or stressed over a bill and you’re actually having sex with these men.
“I’m not a gold digger,” “I don’t want to feel like I owe a man,” Blah Blah Blah! Your blood type must be E— because you’re FILLED with excuses as to why you’re dealing with guys who aren’t doing anything for you. You’re a woman, the creator of life, God in the flesh, and the thing men chase even more than money! Stop selling yourself short and understand that your heart needs to be earned with time, effort, loyalty, and FINANCES. It’s time to stop being this prideful pick me and embrace the fact that it costs to date a woman of your stature.
If you don’t believe you’re a high value woman that deserves more and that you should be 50/50 with a man for the rest of your life, then click off this website right now, there’s no point in a low vibrational woman reading what I have to say. If you’re about this life and realize that you can get more from the men, you deal with then keep reading because I’m going to break it all the way down…
Getting Over Your Fear of Asking
Girl A: Dates a man, accepts what he gives her because she’s appreciative of his attention, happy to have someone who likes her, and doesn’t want to rock the boat by seeming like she’s high maintenance. She goes out on dates, but they aren’t high level ones. She likes tokens of love like flowers, jewelry, even money for lunch would be thoughtful… but she doesn’t dare say these things to the man she’s dating. This woman gets into a financial emergency and needs let’s say $800 by the end of the week. She doesn’t ask the man she’s dating; she holds it in, and stresses on how she’s going to make a miracle happen. Meanwhile this man doesn’t mind asking for sex within the first few weeks you’re dating, doesn’t mind asking for you to suck his dick. Doesn’t mind asking you to come over to his place. Doesn’t mind asking you to drive or pay for your own uber. A man has ZERO FEAR when it comes to getting what he wants out of you because the reward is worth the risk of offending you or turning you off. This is the type of woman that many of you can relate with, fear based, and thankful to have a man even if he brings nothing to your table.
Girl B: Dates a man on her level. He offers a date that she doesn’t like, she politely suggests a better one. She isn’t afraid to make him mad or turn him off by being high maintenance because SHE IS HIGH MAINTENANCE. If this man is to ever fit into her life, then he has to understand that it comes with the compromise that he will have to step his game up to her level. A woman like this, doesn’t demand things, she simply drops hints about the type of things she likes. If she brings up flowers, he better bring them to the next date. If she brings up a brand name chocolate company, he better send it to her. If she drops a hint on a date that her ex used to Venmo her money just because, he better take notes. All of these hints are done for a reason, to train this man on how to behave. If he doesn’t follow these hints, then her legs stay closed and he most likely will be dropped from the roster if he keeps acting like he’s deaf or stupid. In terms of that big $800 favor. Girl B’s biggest difference is that she isn’t afraid to open her mouth and say, “Babe could you please…”
The psychology of Girl A is built around pride. She can’t seem weak, she can’t seem needy, she can’t seem like too much to handle either because she’s been raised to do the most for herself and expect the least from men. This most likely comes from having a mother who never was able to level up. Think about your mom or whoever raised you, shew was either a Pick Me or Superwoman of the household. Any woman that had to struggle for 10,20, even 30 years while they watched other women get taken care of is pissed. If she had a husband or baby daddy that left for another woman—duck and fucking cover because her attitude is going to be vicious. Your mother raised you to not ask for help, but it’s not because that’s “right” it’s because she was bias.
A super independent mother will have a stance of, “Fuck these men, you don’t need them, get your own money.” It’s not “Make sure to find a man that can bring as much or even more to the table as you while you’re building your empire,” it’s negative and dismissive because in her mind you’re not going to find a man that can provide for you because she never did. It’s a competitive way of raising a daughter that most of you probably didn’t even notice. “Why is Mom so angry?” Because if you find a better man than she did it proves that she made a bad choice and you’re now better than she ever was. Her ego can’t have that. Your mother traumatized you and brainwashed you to be basic. Heal that!
If you’re going to evolve from Girl A into Girl B, you have to understand the core of your fear and drive to be independent to a fault comes from. Someone told you early on to not ask for things, or that it would make you less of a woman, or dependent on a man who would hurt or leave you, and you bought into that. I’m telling you right now, being hard and doing everything yourself is easy, it takes zero effort, meanwhile it takes power to be vulnerable and it takes skill to become seductive, this is why most women don’t know how to get things, they aren’t built to be anything but basic lone wolves who say shit like “I’ll just do it myself.”
Being courted isn’t a weak trait, it isn’t looked down upon, and it doesn’t make you less of a Boss Bitch. By being overly masculine and prideful, you harden yourself, come off like you don’t need anything. Men in turn men will instantly go from provider mode to partner role because they don’t want to offend you and they realize that they’re going to get the same girlfriend benefits by not offering a damn thing. So, is it the man’s fault that he isn’t offering or is it a result of how you lead when you first met him? Let’s dive deep into the mind of men and break this down.
Understanding Men Who Give and Don’t Give
A Broke Man: A person can’t give you what they don’t have. The problem with broke men and why they come off as Fool’s Gold is because men front as if they have money. No man wants to admit that he’s living paycheck to paycheck, in debt, or using credit cards or another person to fund their life. For instance, you could go on Instagram right now, and find an attractive guy, great style, wears an expensive watch, poses at luxury restaurants, and has been on a number of trips in the past year. The shallow part of your mind will gravitate toward, “damn he’s fine and he’s balling, that’s the kind of man I deserve.” What Instagram doesn’t show is that watch is a knock off, the trips he’s gone on has been paid for by his bros, ex-girlfriend, or the last of that PPP loan. You can’t assume he’s fake balling because there are so many men who do the same thing on social media and are really successful. The point is a “rich broke” guy isn’t going to show you his bank account. He’s going to take you out, talk about what he does, and leave out the information that reveals that he’s financially struggling.
A lot of you who live on social media get sucked in by “rich broke” men who flash it but don’t have it. Go ahead and date “Mr. Internet Rich” for longer than a few months you’ll eventually realize that he doesn’t have a pot to piss, but by then it’s too late because once he’s had sex with you or won you over with his personality and charm, you’re seeing him as Bae. Next, he’ll begin to ask you for things—can I hold your car, I’ll pick you up from work, babe. Can I borrow some money, I don’t start this new job for another two weeks, I’ll pay you back. Let’s go to Cancun, put it on your credit card and I’ll pay it off. Sound familiar?
A lot of you deal with a man who hustled you into believing that he was a provider but ended up a parasite, leaching onto you with false promises of treating you like a Queen. In the end all you get is dick, debt, and delusions that one day he’s going to do better. Nah, leeches don’t do better, they just dick whip women like you until you get tired of it, then they quickly move onto a new dummy.
These are the kinds of men you know you can’t ask for money, so why are you dating them in the first place? How did they make it to the relationship stage? Did you even read Date Like A Spartan or Ho Tactics? The only way a broke man will spend actual money is if he’s spending someone else’s money—credit card advance, student loan disbursements, family members, scammer money, drug money, or money he’s gotten from his girlfriend or even wife if this is a sneaky link relationship. I knew a dude who paid a girl’s rent, took her on a vacation, all on his girlfriend’s credit card. Why? Because broke men still trick to get pussy just like any other man, they just can’t do it for long. The point is to get a man that can be your husband, not just some trick who is trying to impress you.
A Modest Man: A modest man is a guy who’s lower middle class. He’s not paycheck to paycheck broke, but he has bills and debts of his own that means he really can’t afford to spend or trick on the level you would want. Many of your family members or co-workers are probably married to this type of guy. He’s nice, they’re happy to an extent, but money is always an issue. Let’s be real, do you want to always be thinking about money or having to plan for a trip years in advance because he doesn’t have it and you feel guilty about asking for it?
When dating a Modest Man, he’s going to be a lot more honest than a broke man who’s trying to come off as fake rich. A modest man may still treat you with value, but he’ll date within his means. Buffalo Wild Wings, movie nights, and small gifts like flowers or tickets to a comedy show are some of the things you can expect to get. He’s showing you that this is the level he dates at. If you ask his job title and he says he’s a retail store manager or IT at a company, you may google the salary and think he’s making bank—but google salaries don’t tell the full story. Everyone comes with their own level of bills. You think that 80k means he’s doing good, but after taxes, debt, car payments, mortgage or rising rent, helping his mother out with her bills, his own bad spending habits like weed or liquor or eating out all the time, you’re dealing with someone who is only holding on to 300-500 a month and even that’s not a given because money emergencies are bound to pop up.
You can ask him for $100 because he can afford to lose that but once you get to $500 or $800 how is he logically going to come up with that money? Again, the scammers or fake ballers will work a miracle because they don’t care about the money if it’s coming with pussy attached to it. A guy who doesn’t have it and isn’t manipulative or thirsty isn’t going to go broke for your pussy or dip into their savings. This is the story I see the most, the Modest Man is going to tell you “I can’t do it,” or “maybe next pay period” because he’s honest.
My advice is to always know your dating pool, if you’re always running into broke men with luxury cars and watches—you’re not in the right places or you’re opening the wrong DMs. If you’re always dealing with blue collar guys and don’t want to wait for them to get a promotion or start that trucking business—then you’re not in the right places hunting for men or sliding in the right DMs. It only takes 2 dates to really figure out if a man is financially on the level you need.
A Stingy Man: There are men that make 200k-10mil a year and wouldn’t give the average woman uber money. Let’s shift to the other type of man who doesn’t spend money often, and that’s the stingy man. What makes a man stingy? Two main reasons, the first being his upbringing. People who were born poor or raised by traditional parents who sheltered their money don’t believe in spending more than what’s necessary. One of my close friends falls into this category because he was raised by immigrant parents who always saw excessive spending as the devil. The other reason for being Stingy is trust issues. Men do not trust women as a whole, so the idea of spending money to take a woman out or to get her something nice makes them feel like they’re being a sucker.
Unlike the frugal types, these stingy guys will blow money on all kinds of stupid things, bottle service in a club, tossing money at strippers, buying a car they don’t need, taking their friends on vacation, and all kinds of materialistic things that screams “you’re doing too much!” The catch is the stingy man will do this all in the face of a woman he’s either trying to fuck or in a relationship with. He’s showing you how much he spends, how wealthy he is, and yes you can share in on it when it comes to parties and eating, but he’s not going to give you any real money nor is he going to buy you anything super expensive. “Why won’t he help me out when he knows I’m struggling with bills, and he blows my salary in a month.” Because he hates women, doesn’t trust you, and thinks womenkind are a group of whores to be exploited.
Why Would A Stingy Man Still Spend Money On You? The only way you’re getting money out of a stingy man is if it’s a new relationship and you’re bringing something to the table that he must have—mainly pussy. If he thinks he’s going to have sex with you then he’s going to spend on a transactional basis, which isn’t something you want because after the sex you’re in the same place you are with the broke man, not being able to ask for anything. I hear stories of women married to wealthy men and he pays for household things, he pays for joint things like going out or taking a trip, but those women still have to go out and make their own money or do a song and dance to justify why they need spend a certain amount. That’s modern-day slavery. This is why it’s important to know not only if a man has it to give, but that he’s willing to give. In Ho Tactics I went over this, but in normal dating it gets forgotten about because most of you see money and assume that you’re going to be living large. Nah. Again, date to learn a person, because assuming makes a—you know the saying.
The Typical Male
When you take the broke men and the stingy men out of your dating pool, you’re left with the average man. He has money, either middle class or upper class, and dates at the standard level. These men are the easiest to ask for things from because they’re not too poor to help and they’re not so cheap or distrusting in a woman that they refuse to recognize value. This the dating pool that each one of you should be in, normal men who have financially stable careers and understand that the right woman deserves to be treated like Queens. This is the default level when a man isn’t misogynistic, so if you say shit like “guys like that are hard to find,” it’s because you’re dating like a basic bitch that goes to basic places falls for basic game and gets partied out by basic fuck boys. If you’re dating like a Spartan then this is what you will attract the majority of the time.
What To Say to Get What You Want From Any Man
Foundation: You must establish lust. If a man doesn’t see you as desirable and attainable than he won’t give you a dime. Any man who takes you out has lust for you. The keyword is “takes you out”. If you exchange numbers and it’s just texting without any offers to go on a date, then the lust is not at the level where it needs to be. If you’ve been talking and the only date offered is to go over to his place or for him to come over to your place, then that’s not high-level lust. When a man keeps you as a text buddy or wants to see you without investing in money on an outside event then he’s revealing this: “I wouldn’t mind fucking you but I’m not going to go out of my way to get your pussy.” The reason why you’re not filling him with high grade lust doesn’t matter. He’s showing you where you rank and if you’re going to ask and get something you need to first correct this or it’s pointless.
The foundation you need to build is one where a man’s lust is on 10. For most men who approach you or meet you on an app or social media then your pictures are going to fill him with lust. For other men you will have to do some work. This means coming off as three things: Fun. Sexy. Attainable. Fun means that you’re a good conversation, you’re not too serious and you can be joked with and joke back without being offended or dry. Sexy, to dumb it down, means that you lean on your feminine side to seduce with flirty words, sexual innuendo, teasing, and the way you dress when he sees you or the pictures you bait him with between dates. Attainable is the most important because you must show him clear signs that you like him and would be with him either relationship wise or sexually. Men today are paranoid. If he’s flirting with you and you ignore it, the lust evaporates. If your boundaries are so tight that you can’t even give him compliments or be vulnerable enough to say sweet things to him, then again, the lust dries up because the logical side of his brain is telling the lust side—she’s not that into us—abort!
Building up a man’s lust to the point where you need it only takes 2-4 weeks. The point is to get him on the edge where he wants you sexually and will do anything for you—not to get sex, but to earn his place in your life. When guys love bomb you, it’s transactional, because they’re trying to drop your guard fast. When you control the lust and have your own rules about when you’ll have sex or commit to him, then you’re in charge. Basic women fall for love bombing because they don’t have to ask, a man (or woman) is just giving giving giving and it’s surprising to someone who never gets anything. Fuck that. It’s good that a person is offering you things on their own, but you must still get in the habit of also being able to specify what you want.
Asking: Once you have established lust and you know this man is thirsty for you, then the ball is in your court to test the waters. Always start with small things. The rookie mistake is to not ask a man for anything until you’re in trouble. You’ve dated a guy for 4 weeks and then tell him you’re about to get evicted because your job messed up your paycheck. That sounds like a bullshit story, and it also puts you at his mercy. Think about this logically, beloved. If my dick is hard for you and you’re telling me that I’m your only hope to have a roof over your head, then I’m in control now. I make the rules. And that’s usually going to be “come over and let’s talk about it,” meaning come fuck me and then hope I’ll want to give you that money after I hit. Never come to a man in a desperate situation unless you’ve already established that he’s a giver.
Ask for shoes, ask for a dress, ask for money to get your hair done, it doesn’t matter if it’s small or if you can afford it yourself, the point is to test the waters that this man is willing to do what— “put his money where his mouth is”. What I’ve seen in the years since I started this website is that the women who start small and gain confidence quickly destroy their nerves. If you can ask for nails, then hair, then purses, then that makes “Can you give me something monthly to help me pay down my bills, babe?”
“But it’s hard to ask for help, I don’t know how to form the words without seeming weak,” Turn your brain off and open your mouth: “Babe, could you either buy me these heels or send me the money, I really want them. Please!” Your ego is standing in the way of saying “please” because it sounds like begging and that’s the masculine energy that you’ve developed over the years blocking your blessings. If a man has it, why wouldn’t he give it to you? Simple, he will give it to you. Just ask!
Receiving: Getting bigger things starts with knowing how to appreciate and receive the smaller things. Con artist or scammer women don’t know how to be grateful; they’re just trying to get more really quickly and that’s why men aren’t in the habit of offering as much as you would like, they’ve most likely been taken advantage of. In order to establish yourself as a woman who isn’t trying to hustle him, then you need to receive what he’s giving you with grace. “Thank you” goes a long way. Rewarding him with heavy kissing, physical touch, or words of gratitude are a must. You don’t owe a man sex for a Chanel bag, but if you want to build up to something even more expensive you need to make him feel like your white knight. Males only spend money when they’re getting something out of it. If a PlayStation 5 wasn’t fun, he wouldn’t buy it. If driving a Lamborghini wasn’t a rush, he wouldn’t buy it. If those vintage Jordan’s didn’t get him clout, then he wouldn’t buy them! If he’s going to spend money on you, then what’s the feeling that you’re going to return that makes him feel like a winner—appreciation!
How To Ask After You Already Gave Up the Pussy
“G.L. he was treating me really well but then I slept with him and now we don’t go anywhere,” is common because what I just wrote above about how to establish value isn’t followed. You all date a way that you think is nice and loyal and fumble the bag because you give up the pussy without establishing any value for yourself. Some of you are even in long-term relationships or marriages where you literally can’t even get pedicures paid for. I’m not going to judge you, but I will be realistic—it’s much harder to reestablish value with a man who no longer sees you as special. …but it’s not impossible.
Reestablish Dates: Starting over with the person you’re with requires showing them that you need the basics. Dating requires time, effort, and money—just as I listed above. If you can’t get the person, you’re with to put in those three things at least twice a month then how will you ever graduate to getting the things you actually want? Talk to your boyfriend or spouse about starting a new tradition of going somewhere different than the norm. I get it, you both are busy, maybe you have children… doesn’t matter! Reestablish date night and make them mean something. Don’t go to the same hole in the wall or chain restaurant you always go to. It has to be different and feel special.
Reestablish Excitement: Dating shouldn’t be just sitting and eating and talking about work or the same gossip you always talk about in your relationship. Men want fun, and men reward fun. Be spontaneous with your date ideas or even surprise him by going somewhere that’s more centered on him. No matter what you choose to do, the vibe should be fresh and exciting because what you’re doing is showing him that even though you’re together it isn’t stale and that you still have chemistry.
Remix The Sex: Speaking of chemistry, the ultimate form is sexual chemistry. I don’t care how good you think your pussy is, if a man has been fucking you for over 6 months, your pussy has expired. It’s not gone bad, but it’s not hitting with the same level of lust that it once did. Now you’re probably having sex less or he’s coming quick, because he’s gotten lazy and used to it—pump pump, snooze. Step your sex game up by doing more fourplay, introduce role playing, sext each other when at work, make sex into something exciting and fresh. The longer you’re together the easier it is to push the limits of what you’re into, some of you have fetishes you haven’t even tapped into yet, and a dry relationship is the time to start trying new things out.
Communicate From A Place of Love: Once you’ve done those three things, you’re where you need to be in terms of lust: You’ve gotten the effort, time, and money established with the dates. You’re showing him that you’re fun and worth it once more. You’re giving him a new level of sex. Now if he wants to keep this new version of you, he has to listen. You can’t demand that he gives you an allowance or pays for your beauty routine, but you can ask from a place of love. Unlike a new relationship where you’re asking in a seductive way the difference at this level is that you’re being vulnerable and honest:
“Sometimes I don’t feel pampered and taken care of on a certain level. I’ve never been one to ask for anything, but I would appreciate if you could start speaking my love language in the terms of (insert what you want).”
The point is to make the man understand that you are his woman, but you still want to be treated like his girl. Males don’t tend to think about their long-term girlfriends in these terms unless it was established at the set. Therefore, it’s not about “you can afford it yourself” it’s about what the money or gifts mean—tokens of love. That’s what you ask for, and in those terms any man who doesn’t fall into that broke, modest, or stingy category will always give you what you want because it comes with the unsaid rule of—or I’m going to find someone who will. And that’s the last thing that has to be discussed.
Kill Pride and Level Up
Asking isn’t to get so much as it is to expose and separate the Kings from the peasants. You deserve someone who will understand that you want tokens of love that can come in the form of a credit card to spend as you like, a car, or even paying off a big bill. No, not all men are going to do these things for you the first few weeks of dating, but if you establish it from the jump, by the time you are in a relationship asking and getting will be as normal as getting as a surprise. However, if you see in the early stages that he can’t even give you the small things, then why go forward? If you see in the relationship that he’s not willing to give more, then why stay? The biggest lie you can tell yourself is, “Men today don’t spend like that, I need to be happy splitting rent or getting what I can when he wants to give.” Not in Sparta. If you want a provider, get a provider, and never ever be afraid to open your mouth to any man you date and test to see where you stand with him.
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