People love to spew the cliché of “everyone deserves a second chance” and forgiveness is what a good person practices. Bullshit. Not everyone deserves a second chance and not knowing when to walk away will rob you of the best years of your life. One more chance turns into two more chances followed by one last chance. How many times do you need the same person to piss in your mouth before you figure out urine doesn't taste good?
Let’s say you've had an up and down relationship with a guy, he’s lied and cheated, and finally you two split. He’s sick without you, begs like a puppy dog, and three weeks after swearing him off, you’re reconsidering taking him back. Why? Because you're in love with what he WAS. At the start of the relationship a man will hook you with love bombing, meaning he takes you out, tells you how different you are, always wants to see you and show you new things, and of course spoils you in terms of paying for high level dates or getting you gifts. This is the man you fall for, the one who knows how to treat you unlike your exes. The one that listens to you and wants something deeper, unlike the rest of these clowns on the dating apps. Most women are very suspicious and guarded when it comes to men, but smart males know that inside every woman is a princess waiting to be treated like she's the only woman on earth. That's what love bombing is-- a fast and furious way to drop your defense, open your heart, and win you over so that no matter how he switches up in the weeks or months to come you will hold onto that idea that he's the perfect man for you.
"The apology should be as loud as the disrespect" is a common term, but it's more basic bitch propaganda. He embarrassed you, so now you want him to make it up by showering you with love publicly. Posting you on social, taking you to some island vacation spot, buying you a bag or car, what the fuck does that solve? He's shutting your dumb ass up so he can get you back on his team, because every ain't shit man needs a placeholder to stroke his ego while he goes off to chase the bad bitches he actually wants. He only needs you until he can get one of them, so of course he's going to apologize, make promises to change, and take some nut ass picture holding your hand and smiling... that's still not going to keep the hos away or quiet your anxiety because deep down inside you know you fell for the wrong man.
"But, G.L. my mother said everyone deserves a second chance, aren't you being too hard on men?" If your mother really told you to run back to a man that dogged you out than she was probably basic as fuck in the 80s letting men break her heart too with no repercussions. When you’re in love anything that doesn't end with, “Go ahead and take him back”, is considered bad advice. Basicas love the idea of one more chance, not because it’s morally sound, but because it gives them permission to choose with their heart instead of their head. When you want someone so bad, you will pull weak ass celebrity examples out of your ass, biblical quotes, and even place the blame on your own attitude and behavior. Stop using some toxic celebrity couple as a reason to stay with someone who violates you and stop Gaslighting yourself into staying in an unhealthy relationship!
Yes, some situations are unique and do deserve a chance to work itself out. The fucked up thing is that every girl thinks that her situation is special, her guy is different, and she can make anything work. To get played when you thought that your love was real and that you were the greatest woman in the world is embarrassing. However, is the sickening pain you feel and need to work it out a result of true love or the humbling effect of incompatibility? Let's be honest. You don't want to go back outside. Dating sucks, getting to know people is scary, and dating like a Spartan takes work. You want a world where a handsome guy is honest, doesn't play games, and sees enough in you to want to commit and never turn his head. That's not how this universe is set up!
Your Inner Weak Bitch
Breaking up is hard, but it's not harder than losing the prime years of life to a fuckboy. "I don't know what to do, there aren't a lot of men that bring what he brings to the table," bitch you're brainwashed! If you're currently single, in a situationship, or in an up and down relationship there is one secret that you need to know about every man which is that we all judge you by how much you let us get away with. From the male POV, when we see you and are infatuated with lust, we assume that you're out of our league, have so many options, and that we may not be good enough. Doesn't matter who we are or what we have, when we lay eyes on a pretty woman like you, our thoughts go back to a little boy stage of insecurity, which is why we apply so much pressure to get you, it's all based on our male fear.
I knew a guy who was a child actor, more money than he can spend, and he nervously asked me about a date he was about to have with a woman who worked at the juice bar at his gym. Why did she rattle him? Men are intimidated by women we really like. We put them on a pedestal based on our lust. Which means that we create a high level of respect for these women who we don't even know and will do anything to get them to see us as worth their time. Translation: The most power any woman will have over a man is during that first month or two chase. You all aren't up on that secret, and you assume that you need to impress a man, which makes you dumb down your personality, act awkward, and allow your boundaries to be crossed way too early. The moment that man sees that you fear him, he relaxes, he takes his power back, and he tests you to determine how much he can get away with and of course if you're wifey or pussy.
The Male Rule Book: He's going to try and fuck you fast, then he's going to try and control your time, then he's going to see how you act when he starts to put you second.
Let's break this down: He fucks you fast, and now he knows that he has nothing to lose because the top thing he wanted he got, which was pussy. He takes control of your time which shows him that you don't have any other men better than him, and that you're willing to put him over your friends. Finally he starts to put you second, meaning that he can break plans, not show up, and see you on his terms which is all a test to train you to be at his beck and call. When you put all of these things into the mix, it equals a lack of respect and a redefining of how he views you. What started off as a woman on a pedestal during the first month, transforms into "just another bitch who I can do what I want to." That's the game and that's why so many of you who should be wifey end up as pussy.
Today I'm going to break down how to let go of these men, but first let's start with how to prevent this in the first place. For a man to see you as the wifey type and not the pussy type you must