Good dick causes temporary insanity in some women. I dare you to find a man that doesn’t have stories about seemingly normal girls flipping out after sex. It’s almost like a pissing contest to sit around and tell each other our craziest story. Your dummy called you 10 times in a row and left 4 voice messages– my dummy called 22 times and then sent 32 text messages. Your ex came to your mother’s house begging moms to make you return her calls– my ex came to my job with a box full of my clothes and dumped them on my side chick’s desk like, “You can have him!” The more extreme her ratchet behavior is, the more kudos you get at the barbershop for being that dude who has these hoes acting out of character. Yes, ladies. We guys laugh at your silly asses way before we feel bad about ghosting you or breaking your heart. “It must be love, because she’s acting crazy” is something no man ever said, but women swear by it because they need to believe that these overblown emotions are proof of love– they’re not, those feelings are proof you need to read this entire article and get your mind right!

The thing that frustrates me is that women continue to play the role of comic relief knowing that acting out will always be in vain. In the history of the world there has never been a case of psychotic behavior being used to make a person fall in love. Call a dozen times, text a dozen more, scream with anger, cry tears of frustration, break a car window, leak a dick pic, attack other women… none of that will solve the “Like me like I like you” dilemma. So many women claim to have no fucks to give or to be above chasing a man, yet the vast majority do get sprung and become psychotic Dickchotic.

Crazy-As-Hell-Black-Girl

I didn’t return her call or text fast enough so she freaked out and took it to mean something deeper.

I couldn’t meet up with her this week now she’s acting passive aggressive and annoyed.

I’m apparently too good to be true, so she keeps swearing that I’m gamming her for pussy or money.

I liked a random girl’s picture on Instagram and now she’s stalking the girl and anybody that ever @’d her to see if we’re fucking.

Get that her gurl, she ain't bout that lifeThis kind of behavior is a deal breaker no matter how pretty you are or how normal you are most of the time. There is a switch that flips in the brain of some females the moment they think they’re being played and they panic. At this exact moment there is a girl internet stalking a dude that won’t return her calls. There’s another girl creating dummy accounts to follow the nigga she really likes to make sure he’s telling the truth about his life. And yet another hard up chick is getting her friend to pose as new pussy to thirst trap a boy she’s only been on one date with, because she wants to make sure she is the only girl he has eyes for. Who has time for that bullshit? What woman has so few options in her life that she becomes fixated on a man’s every move?

Penis depravity and boredom will have a female over-liking and over-thinking everything and it only takes one missed call or canceled date for her to erupt.  A guy that was convinced a girl was different on Tuesday wakes up on a Thursday to a series of text messages about, “where the fuck you been? If all you wanted was pussy you could have just said that. So you can’t respond back? I knew you weren’t shit from day one! Make sure to drop my iPhone charger off by tomorrow or I’m going to get my cousin to fuck you up!” The only thing that changed was that he missed a day talking to her, and in that 24-30hr period her overactive imagination turned her into the thing she swore she was not—the crazy bitch. This thirsty Dickchotic behavior isn’t reserved for jobless bored ratchets; it’s a mental condition that can plague women across the board.

“If you fuck with me, you’ll eventually return my call with a good reason. If you don’t fuck with me you won’t return my call. I won’t lose sleep either way.” –Mature Men

200128920-001Common sense tells you that if a dude isn’t calling you—move the fuck on. If a dude isn’t coming to see you—move the fuck on. If a man is doing the same things your exes did, he’s just as toxic, stop repeating the cycle and MOVE THE FUCK ON. Why get worked up and look stupid over someone who isn’t responsive or comes off as half interested at best? The only thing worse than chasing someone that doesn’t want you is creating a fantasy in your mind that every man is out to play you. You text your potential boo, he doesn’t respond, so you rush to his page and see that he’s commented on some twerk video—your heart breaks. How dare he not respond back to your dry ass “How’s your day going” text. How dare he continue to participate on social media when your text is on read? How dare he accept that friend request from Denisha RedBottomsStayFresh Johnson… is he fucking her? Is it something you said? Did you fuck him too fast? Did you not fuck him good enough? Did your pussy stink? Wait, was it your conversation? Are you boring? Did you come off sounding stupid? OMGOMGOMGOMG you’re going to be single FOREVER… Pump your over-eager breaks! You’re dating him, not married! The reason women ruin relationships is because they overthink the moment someone doesn’t move at the pace they want.

You haven’t had a real relationship since Ashanti had a hit song, and you’re nervous, anxious, and scared to death, but you need to relax and learn how to like a man without becoming infatuated.  Why jump the gun and assume you’re being played until you know the complete reasoning behind why he hasn’t responded or why he’s being distant? If he won’t give you a straight answer why keep entertaining that asshole? You, my dear, are weak. The fellas reading this know that the moment you call one of these bat shit crazies and explain what was going on all is forgotten. These chicks get all worked up, and then as soon as a dude calls at 11pm like, “I was thinking about you all day,”  it’s all hearts and rainbows again. If you go on a mental roller coaster every week because you’re afraid of being hurt then you don’t need to be dating, you need medication.

Men Act Like They Don’t Care

Most of you reading this know Basica Bruise Me, those women who are so mentally fucked up that they see yelling, hitting, and general jealous aggression as a sign of love. Most men keep emotions under wraps, so a guy getting mad and choking you for not answering your phone is sometimes the only way you can tell if he cares. That’s an unforgivably stupid concept. Anger is a emotion; it’s not the emotion that proves affection, dumb ass.  I’m always asked why men act as if they don’t care. What you really want to know is why the majority of men don’t get as emotional as women do, as if a man who is really down for you should be flying off the handle the moment he gets sent to voicemail. It’s not that men don’t care; it’s that we as males need a reason to fully care. Male fucks are sacred; any dude that’s not a simp doesn’t get in his feelings the moment a girl is acting distant or inconsistent. Going out on a few dates, sharing a few jokes, and giving up pussy doesn’t make you special to a man. You’re cool and he likes you a lot, but he likes 2-4 other women as well. So even if he says that you’re different and special, chances are that it’s the lust from his dick that is making his mouth butter you up like a piece of toast. Sure, there are women who pussy whip men or Spartan Whip them with a good conversation. Guys text paragraphs and get real annoying over the right woman, but it’s not as common. Like an Uber driver once told me “Bro, every single woman that gets in my car talks about boys, maybe 2 out of 10 guys talk about girls.

Men live by the theory of, “Next bitch, please” which means that no matter how funny you are, how smart you come off, or how bomb your deep throat skills are, the moment you start acting weird, we move on like, “Next bitch, please,” because men are well aware that there are other romantic options. Guys are scared to death of getting played by a female so in order to keep their hearts from being shattered they put a condom on their emotions. To get worked up over 60 day pussy that he hasn’t even bothered to claim goes against male programming. Men don’t need to blow up your phone or do a drive by to make sure you’re where you say you are, you’re community pussy until he decides that he wants more. Only simps and savages act pressed over timeshare coochie. If you are truly special, then a man will lay claim in order to avoid the stress of competing with other dudes or the confusion of if you really like him or are just playing the field. Boyfriend/girlfriend jealousy is understandable when you’re in an agreed partnership, but too many women are flipping out and overthinking the actions of men who refuse to claim them or men they are just getting to know.

That Dick Is Soooooo Bomb

You have sex, he makes you cum like you never came before. You want this to last forever… he ghosts you, you act a fool.

You have good sex, spend the next few months cuddled up and bonding. You want this to last forever… he ghosts you, you act a fool.

You have okay sex, but he’s so good to you and caring that you overlook the semi-trash dick. You want this treatment to last forever… he ghosts you, you act a fool.

Doesn’t matter how great a man’s penis is, women still act crazy. Right now there’s a woman crying over a guy who has never made her cum. Lesbian couples go through this same drama. Virgins act crazy as well. So what’s really going on? “Dick” is used as the excuse, in actuality you’re just emotionally sensitive because you want someone to love you. Sex is intimate, it’s vulnerable, and you foolishly tie your soul to it. It’s not about bomb dick, it’s not about good looks, it’s not about money, and it’s not about being naïve. It boils down to insecurity. You see other women who are being shown love and you desperately want that feeling too. You have never had a man truly love you for you and now that you got a taste of reciprocated male affection you don’t want to lose it…the moment you feel his attention or love slipping away, your emotions hack your brain and turn you into a monster that you can’t control because you misdiagnosed the problem as sex-based…

The Want To Be Loved

clingy-kimYou want everyone who meets you to like you. You want girls to think you’re cool. You want boys to think you’re sexy. If you deny any of what I just wrote you’re a liar. Few non-sociopaths can say, “I don’t give a fuck what other people think,” and mean it. Pride makes you lie to yourself, but your brain reminds you every time you go out that you should act, dress, or talk a certain way to appeal to the masses.  When someone doesn’t like you, there will always be a part of you that wants to find out why, and to change their opinion so they do like you. Humans don’t ever talk about this because our pride won’t let us admit that we have an internal approval rating that we keep track of. It’s much cooler to bullshit and play up that, “I don’t care” role. Wanting to be shown love isn’t the problem, but being obsessed with it does become dangerous. I’m not talking about internet THOTing for compliments or Selfie whoring for Likes, those things are innocent. What I want to focus on is that want for a man’s love to justify your greatness and how that can drive a girl insane.

A dude asks for your number and you’re on cloud 9 because he’s someone you were crushing on. You begin to talk to him, and it seems good… then he stops talking to you as much over the course of a month or so. What happened? What did you say wrong? What did you do to turn him off? Those thoughts then graduate to: What can I do to make him like me again? The hardest pill to swallow is that most of the time it’s nothing that you can do to make that guy want to keep talking to you. Girls hate to hear that because it goes back to that want to be loved. Boss bitches are over there are curving men daily, while you’re over here struggling to get just one to call you back. What the fuck is wrong with you? There is no doubt that you are a great woman, so why can’t this man who you’ve given a whiff of your personality see that? You call and ask him what’s wrong; he doesn’t want to hurt your feeling so he makes up an excuse about going through a busy time. You know it’s a lie, but you don’t accept it and you fit in his schedule. You offer to come to him. You even fuck him. At that moment you become a monkey dancing for a banana, because you want male approval. After the new pussy luster wears off, that man realizes what he knew two weeks into meeting you—you’re still not his type.

being_ignored_a_lot-456565Despite being understanding and comforting this man pushes you away by doing asshole things or by ignoring you. What do you do when faced with yet another obstacle? You keep trying to make him like you because the thought that there is a guy who got to know you and got to fuck you, and still doesn’t think you’re worth his time hurts like hell. The reason you start thinking irrational is because you won’t accept rejection; despite his push back you keep chasing that approval. The want to be loved by this man has overridden your common sense and you’re willing to do anything because you’re obsessed with getting him to see you the way that other people see you. The fucked up thing about scenarios like this is that it’s not even about the man! I’ve talked to girls who’ve been pressed over guys who are ugly, who are poor, who have limp dicks, and even dudes who they didn’t even want to talk to in the first place. It’s not the actual man, but what he represents. He doesn’t think you’re special, and as long as he keeps rejecting you, you’ll keep running back for more because you can’t give up without proving that you are a Game Changer. You’re not a Game Changer and you’re definitely not a Spartan. The moment you give another person the power to cloud your mind, you prove that you’re a typical weak bitch that every man has experienced and laughs about.

All you want is a boy to like you, and if he doesn’t like you, then he should let you know what it is about you that’s horrible so you can change. Stop letting dick dictate your life! No key fits every lock in the world, and no woman can ever fit every man in the world. You will be passed up, you will be rejected, and you will be gamed without explanation. You can’t keep changing to make the flavor of the week happy, because you will never be what every man is looking for. You can’t be overly guarded and treat every new guy as if he’s out to get you, because you’ll turn him off. The reality is that you can’t control how a man feels about you, but you can control your thoughts.

Your Own Worst Enemy

crazy-jealous-girlfriendIf you can’t handle the pressure of dating, then stop giving out your phone number. If you can’t deal with not knowing if a man likes you or not, then take a break from dating until you learn how to give about a dozen less fucks. You don’t want to eat because your “Him” retweeted his ex. You can’t sleep at night because you’re worried about “bae” meanwhile bae is at his crib snoring with a grin on his face because he ain’t worried about nothing. Do you really think that kind of depression means you’re in love? Look up “Love” and then look up “Stress” they do not share the same definition, so if you find yourself mentally drained every other week, it’s not “the process” you’re dealing with the wrong damn person! The excuse that it’s not your fault because he is driving you crazy with his mixed signals is a cop out because you can always walk away from bi-polar dick. Why does he keep calling you? Because you keep picking up! Why does he keep fucking you? Because you keep spreading your legs! Why is he acting like he doesn’t care all of a sudden? Because he’s gotten what he wanted and doesn’t care anymore. Why are you so attracted to this kind of emotionally unavailable and manipulative man? Because you are insecure! No matter how many other guys’ clit ride you, you need the challenge of that one guy who thinks you’re boring or average. The moment he loses interest or isn’t quick to show you the interest you’re craving, your insecurity runs wild. Getting that man to go back to liking you the same way he liked you the first week is all you think about. That nigga is not your father who abandoned you, he will not complete you emotionally nor does he want to.

 “I let a man talk his talk, but I judge him by his actions. If it looks like he’s playing games, I call him out on it. If he goes back to playing more games– snip snip. I don’t trip over dick.” –Spartans

sorry booSpartans don’t need a male cosigner, the love they have for themselves will always be enough. All the confident women reading this know how easy it is to take things slow with a new guy because they aren’t seeking a man’s approval. They will tell you how routine it is to cut off a guy, even one they liked, the moment he begins to act like a bitch. Penis isn’t rare, and conversation isn’t expensive, so why would a boss bitch wait by the phone for one guy to call her back? It’s always raining men in Spartan Country. But GL, it’s hard to let go without knowing what went wrong, I don’t want to keep making the same mistakes. You’re a woman, not a weave, you don’t need closure! You can ask that nigga a million times why he grew bored of you and it won’t make you feel better because the answer will always end in “You weren’t good enough for me.” You don’t live your life to be good enough for men, you live for self, and if your ass isn’t phat enough, your hair isn’t straight enough, or your personality isn’t exciting enough for a particular man, oh well! They didn’t stop making wedding bands after he was born, there will be another!

Is he playing me, why is he being distant, what does it mean when he only calls me at certain times, how could he be all over me one day and avoid me the next, and the list goes on…. Those are things I will always help women figure out on this site or one on one, but it does you no good to over-think to the point where you can’t function or you act out in frustration because you can’t figure him out. This is real life, not a fucking reality show reunion set where being Erica Mena crazy is cute! Leaving a dozen voice messages, going to somebody’s job to confront them, or threatening to fight another bitch– that’s young as fuck. Crazy doesn’t cure shit, it just adds to your problems. If a man opens his mouth, most likely it’s to lie. Yes, that’s fucked up and scary, but you don’t let that drive you crazy, you let it drive you to the next man that actually calls back and keeps promises. A woman with true self-esteem will never let a man break her mentally…

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