“Modern women aren’t chasing marriage, we don’t need that to be happy, G.L.” The same woman that told me that two years ago emailed me last week now with, “I’m tired of seeing everyone around me find someone. What am I doing wrong? Please read me and be brutal…”
Isn’t it amazing how people lie to themselves? No woman needs marriage, but you’re fooling yourself if you say that you don’t want it. Your happy ending doesn’t involve traveling the world with only your vibrator to keep you comfort, It involves exploring the world with your soulmate next to you, and being able to call them YOUR HUSBAND. Not your baby daddy, not your friend, and damn sure not someone else’s husband. Let’s be honest, if you are a woman who knows that her life story includes marriage—what’s stopping you from getting it?
Answer: You’ve devolved into a Placeholder who isn’t living up to her potential.
Every Placeholder thinks she’s a Game Changer. In reality, the traits that most women think make them a “must have” are just basic as fuck, boring, or typical.
I make six figures a year—good for you, now go buy yourself some hood dick because any male with his own money isn’t chasing a woman’s bank account. Your money isn’t a deciding factor when it comes to love.
I’m loyal and submissive—So is every other Pick Me. You’re not a challenge and you smell desperate. The reason why you’re so loyal is because no one else wants you either! A man real man craves a woman with backbone, not a doormat whose only skill is saying “yes”. Feminine energy isn’t about making a plate and being told what to do, Basica!
This pussy will drive him crazy—Chill, Stunna Girl, this isn’t a rap song, so no one cares about how wet you get or any of your box bragging. What happened to the last three dudes that fucked you? Did they back the range rover up to the driveway and buy you a vacation home? No. Those men are off fucking other women as we speak because sex is honey, not glue. We’ll rush to sample you, but it’s not going to make us stay.
Ladies, really think about what you bring to the table that isn’t typical? Right now list at least two things that make you different from other high value women. This isn’t about comparing yourself to your ratchet ass cousin or your dusty ass co-worker—how do you rank when they place you against the top 1% of pretty, smart, and funny women?
High value men, meaning those males who have wealth, power, and influence are exposed to every class of woman. So what will make him take notice of you and actually want to talk you beyond just the sexual?
I’m friends with a woman who’s extremely successful out here in LA, yet she got ghosted by this wealthy man in favor of a woman who did bottle service. Instead of looking at herself, and asking what went wrong, she belittled the other woman’s looks and her job. A year later that man is married to that former bottle girl and she still won’t let it go. “Men don’t want equal women, they want dummies,” No, that’s unfair shade aimed at a woman who you don’t know that makes you feel better about being rejected. The real reason why men sidestep one woman in favor of the other is because many of you are leading with traits that you want in a man, not once thinking like a man and from a man’s POV. Girls think guys want all of these educational, financial, social justice qualities– but we don’t give a fuck about that stuff. Men don’t choose partners like Women do, and it’s time you all learned how we as males really think.
Today I’m going to spell it out in a way that anyone can understand with the top three traits that high value men look for. I want you to study this list before you go out on your next date because this is going to help you actually bring something to the table that other women aren’t bringing. My books on dating show you the process to date and vet men, but what’s the point of reading my books if you don’t drip with charisma and know how to hypnotize a man? I’m going to list the three traits you need and how to put it all together to enhance what you already are—amazing!
Youth
No, I’m not talking about your birth age, I’m talking about your personality age. 90% of the relationships that I’ve seen either fail or end up in purgatory (together but he’s never going to marry her) comes from that man feeling like he’s dating his mother. Girls mature faster than boys, that’s an evolutionary fact, but there’s being wise and then there’s being a boring buzz kill… A grown-ass, responsible woman who has experienced the world is great… what’s not great is when that woman takes herself too seriously.
Old Biddy Basica tell signs: She always wants to talk about serious topics, always wants to focus on where the relationship is going, and of course, loves to talk about the future. Her idea of a good time is eating at restaurants where she can of course—talk talk talk about all the super important things that she’s doing with her life and of course where the relationship is going… bored yet? And let’s not get into the constant need to throw how busy she is, how important she is at work, or what moves she’s about to make career-wise. No man wants to hear about that all the time, not even 30% of the time. I recently did a podcast that you’ll hear next week. I asked my guest why she was single, and like most women, she pretended not to know… I went deeper and asked her what she talked about on her dates if it was all about her career, his career, or what? You can hear it at that moment where she had an epiphany—oh shit, that’s exactly what I bring to dates, talking shop like he’s an investor, not a romantic suitor.
Ladies, your career does not define you! So, leave it at the door. You are so much more interesting than what you do or where you work, and it’s time to let that shine! Men want the energy of a 19-year-old girl, but the emotional stability of a 35-year-old. This means, “Be goofy, easy to talk to, not too serious all the time, but not so immature that your moods switch, and your attitude is unchecked.” When men go off and date girls half their age it’s not about the beauty, there are beautiful women at any age, the reason high-value, mostly 1% level wealthy men date down in age is because of personality. The average guy isn’t looking to always go out to boring dinners, always talk about substance, and feel like everything has to be planned out. Where’s the party? Where’s the rowdiness? Where is the woman who can let her hair down? Youthful energy is the key. Look at the things you talk about, look at the date choices that you want to go on, and then ask yourself if you are coming with the pazazz of an old lady who has to be in bed by 9 energy or if you’re able to show this man that you can keep him young and on his toes?
Spontaneity
The next trait also ties into youth, and that’s the ability to be unpredictable. I’ve talked to so many of you, and it amazes me how the average woman is obsessed with controlling everything. Day planners for this, notes for that—life has to be mapped out because you’re trying to get rid of the anxiety that comes from not knowing what’s going to happen next. If you’re trying to build an S-Corp that’s great, but if you’re dating an established man, especially one who comes from the buttoned-up world of business or the strict world of athletics and sports, you’re basically making dating to be an extension of his professional life, and that doesn’t get anyone’s dick hard.
Let’s get to the core of why most of you aren’t spontaneous—you’re afraid to try something and the man doesn’t like it. Most women ask a man “What do you want for your birthday,” because they’re terrified of surprising him with something he may not like. This mindset doesn’t take into account that half the fun for a man isn’t the gift, he can buy anything he wants, it’s the unwrapping! Ladies, we men are just little boys, you’re so worried about rejection that you fail to lean into the fact that if you excite us throughout the dating stage or relationship, we’ll see you as a must-keep. It’s not about the “things” for men it’s about the experience… “Fuck Netflix, let’s go to some trashy strip club.” “Fuck PF Changs, let’s go have a picnic with a view.” “Fuck always planning our week, let’s just hop in the car and go somewhere wild!” Can you bring that energy? Of course, you can, but DO YOU bring it? Probably not because you’re too regimented, too preplanned, and overthink what fun should be. You have to be able to tap into your Spartan Alter Ego that I talk about in Date Like A Spartan, that side of you that can inspire lust in a man, no matter if you just met him or you’ve been together for years, which brings us to the ultimate spontaneous experience, sex.
Are you spontaneous in the bedroom? Do you turn the lights off and wait for him to mount you like its a job or do you throw that pussy like it’s a playlist on shuffle—unpredictable with some hits he may not remember? Sex is the second most important thing in a relationship next to financial stability. I hear the stories, a lot of you ladies fuck like a mute vampire, meaning it has to be at night and you refuse to talk dirty. Your box is uninspiring and predictable, yet you wonder why he would rather chase an Applebee’s hostess? Sure, she can only read at a fifth-grade level, but she has a master’s degree in foreplay and a doctorate in riding dick. “My husband is going to get the nastiest version of me,” HA, you’re not going to make it to that level because every man that has sampled you has moved on. Sex is supposed to be fun, and wild, not scheduled and routine. “But he came tho,” his hand could have done the same job, beloved. Is he dropping money in your account? Is he flying you to an island this summer? If that man isn’t in his bag over you then he isn’t into you! You haven’t explored Pound Town the right way, and the the next chick is going to win out over you and come away with all the rewards, and that’s not because of the physical, it’s because of the mental, you’re not unleashing your inner Spartan.
Most men, especially those who have the wealth and means to get other women, will cool on you, see you as a Placeholder, and go off to find that Game Changer Pussy. Why? It’s not because you weren’t a great woman, it’s because your energy was lacking, you brought boring, typical, and routine to the life of a man who wanted excitement and unpredictability. Dates should be fun, nights in should be fun, and your entire relationship should be a rollercoaster, not a cruise.
Thoughtfulness
“Is she truly into me and down for me or using me?” That thought echoes through every man’s mind when he’s dating. Male insecurity will always be tied to his fear that a woman isn’t genuine. Why? Because men don’t trust women. Every male who has dated in high school or college has felt some sort of rejection or betrayal from a female who either didn’t want him flat out or left him for another guy. Women tend to rebound quicker from being hurt at a young age, but men will wear that pain for life, judging all women as whores, sluts, or gold diggers based off of ONE bad experience. Now put that past baggage into the brain of a man that has made himself successful—it grows because now he’s afraid that he’s only wanted for what he has or what he can do for a woman. Paranoia is a hell of a drug!
How do you win over the mind of a man that sees womankind as the enemy? And going even further, how do you make this man let down his guard and believe that you would stick with him through the ups and downs? You show him that you’re thoughtful, and through thoughtfulness, you earn his respect and eventually his trust. But this is harder than you think…
Thoughtful isn’t the same as being selfless and putting someone first. A Spartan should always center herself, and be one with her universe as the main character, a lack of this kind of selfishness will get you played or have you settling to fit into a man’s life. Thoughtfulness is the simple act of saying or doing things to let a person know that you are always thinking about them and that you are always listening to what they’re saying. Do you fully understand this concept? Be honest.
Women understand nurturing and spoiling because those are maternal instincts. I once knew a girl who bought a man she had only been with for a matter of months thousands of dollars’ worth of Christmas gifts. That man still ghosted her because tricking on a man isn’t the same as being thoughtful. If you “sugar mama” a man who you barely know he doesn’t respect you, if anything his opinion of you dips. “Why is she going this hard for me when we barely know each other? Is she trying to get me to spend the same amount of money on her gifts?” or he may think “She’s trying to buy my love”. The irony is he may not be wrong. Women who usually do the most are those with low self-esteem who are used to spoiling men into loving them or women who are running the hustle of trick a little and he’ll trick a lot back. The point is a man who has his own money won’t be impressed by gifts or lavish birthday parties or anything that women tend to think works at showing he cares.
“You don’t really love me,” he whispers under his breath. “If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t have thrown you that huge hotel party and bought you a watch,” exclaims the girlfriend… Read between the lines, sis, gift giving doesn’t move men the way it moves women. It’s not that men are ungrateful, it’s that we are wired to receive love in other forms.
Thoughtfulness is about the small and consistent things you do that slowly prove to a man that you are there for him and are constantly thinking of him. For example, paying attention to something he’s into like a sports team, and knowing he spends a lot of time at his desk, you would get him a mouse pad or pencil holder or some desk object with that team on it just because. He’s not expecting it, and it’s not expensive, but he’ll think—damn she listens! This level of thought goes a lot further than buying him a designer briefcase because if he wanted that briefcase, he would have gotten it himself. This goes a lot further than getting him tickets to see his team play because most likely the seats you can afford aren’t the ones he likes to sit in. Don’t go overboard by trying to outspend a man, you simply show him that you listen to what he likes and that you are thinking about him when you’re out in the world without him enough to pick up something small.
The final aspect of thoughtfulness is being considerate. If this man is working late and has to cancel a date or has to go away for a weekend but forgets to mention it until the last minute, how would you react? The typical woman cries about spending time or gets passive when plans are made without her or if she feels left out. If a man hasn’t been sneaky and has been honest with you for the time you’ve been seeing one another then why snap like he’s out cheating or he’s trying to lie about something? Being considerate means putting yourself in his shoes.
This man may have had a hard day, I’ll text him but I won’t stress him to stay on the phone with me or see me. This man had something come up, instead of being pissed and making it awkward which causes a rift while he’s out of town, I’ll roll with it.
Communicate like a woman who is considerate and empathetic not like a woman who thinks a man is always trying to lie or avoid her and will show him that you are the kind of woman he can go deeper with, you’re more of a friend than a prison warden. No, you can’t let a man get away with going silent for days or not following up on promises, but being able to recognize patterns and recognize when it’s time to pull back or console is key. You won’t believe how easy it is to win a man over by simply being different from the women he tends to deal with as too many ladies are always in a state of arguing, accusing, and being disappointed because they’re not getting attention. Arguing about the same old shit you’ve argued with girls about since the 11th grade gets old really fast. To be a woman who can see things from a man’s POV goes a long way in showing him, not telling him, that you’re wifey.
Putting It All Together
Bryce is a successful 32-year-old man making 800k a year and rising. He met Tiffany and Tanya the same week and has been dating them both for a month now. Tanya likes to go out to restaurants, constantly brings up how they can be a power couple, and pressures Bryce to meet her family members. Tanya clearly wants the ring, and all she can talk about is “the future” and “what she brings to the table” because she’s trying to convince Bryce of her worth and win Bryce over because he is a rarity in her mind.
Tiffany, on the other hand, likes to fine dine too, but she also likes excitement. She has planned her own date ideas where she brings Bryce to karaoke, she likes to joke around more than talk about the future, and anytime Bryce tries to talk about exclusivity she plays it off or teases him that she likes being a free agent. Whereas Tanya is on a shot clock to commit, Tiffany is all about going with the flow. Whereas Tanya is trying to show her worth, Tiffany knows her worth is evident and doesn’t have to be pointed out. Tanya will be relatively easy to fuck, because she thinks pussy will make Bryce more likely to take her seriously and wife her. Tiffany will tease Bryce because she knows that the average girl would fuck him because of his status—not over here, he’ll have to earn her coochie.
Tanya gets Bryce a Louis Vuitton wallet for his birthday because he notices his old one is a bit worn, Bryce likes it…not exactly the color he would have picked out, but he’s obligated to now use it…even though his old wallet is broken in. Tanya thinks she just won massive points, in reality, her gift was cool, a bit annoying but cool. Meanwhile, Tiffany gets Bryce a POP! Figure of the Mandalorian because she remembers Bryce watching that nerdy shit, even though she’s not into that, she knows he is and thought to get it. Bryce is surprised Tiffany even remembers him liking Star Wars and she’ll joke that he spent half a date giving out spoilers trying to convince her to watch it. The POP! Isn’t something Bryce would have bought himself, but it’s something he appreciates because of what it represents—she listens and knows what I like. LADIES, are you following how easy it is to get through to a man yet?
In the end, Bryce likes Tanya okay, there’s nothing wrong with her—she’s like a lot of you reading this right now, cool but missing something that makes her stand out. The vibe Bryce is picking up on is that Tanya is vanilla, the type of woman you keep around when bored but not one you keep for life. On the other hand, all he thinks about is Tiffany because she’s always a good time, always surprising him with the crazy things she says or wants to do, and he hasn’t even sniffed her pussy yet so she’s winning out on two fronts—the lust level and the friendship level. After a month Bryce knows that he has to invest more time in Tiffany if he wants to lock her down, so he’ll distance himself from Tanya, stop calling, and begin to make up excuses as to why he can’t see her. If she doesn’t get the hint, Bryce will flat out tell her that he’s found someone else—Tanya will be hurt because she thought they had something, but that’s the game… Meanwhile, he’ll have to verbally go to Tiffany and say how he feels, because at this point she has the power to choose him not vice versa.
Ladies, be a Tiffany, not a Tanya—be the woman a man chases not one who tries to tap dance to be picked. Follow the three traits laid out, and always ask yourself “Am I exhibiting, Youth, Spontaneity, and Thoughtfulness?” If you put those together, you’ll always be at the top of a man’s list.
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