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“G.L., I met a guy while trying to work on myself, and I had sex too fast… how can I reset this?”

“G.L. I met, I think I met my husband, but he lives in different cities, and he’s starting to grow  distant… how can I reset this?”

“G.L., I met this mark who’s insanely wealthy, but I may have turned him off, and he’s no longer responding… how can I reset this?”

Every month, I get questions about how to reset situations, ranging from the dating stage to the relationship stage and even the sponsor or trick stage. What you’re all telling me is simple:

The moment you get a good thing going with a man, you fumble and fuck it up because you don’t know how to date in power and glue a man to you.

Every year, you claim it’s going to be different, then here you are in a whole new year, repeating the same mistakes. Your brain no longer believes the affirmations that come out of your mouth because you let yourself down the moment some guy gasses you with attention. There’s not a problem with the dating world. There’s a problem with how you THINK. Everything in this universe is mental, and you’re broken!

Every time this world tests you, you mess up. Every time you have a chance to prove you’re different from the OLD YOU, you fuck up again. Your life is a constant struggle of “it never works out.” You were supposed to be special, beloved but here you are nodding along with all the other heartbroken Basicas on your timeline because you can relate with their struggle. Special women use their past mistakes as a blueprint for ascension. Basic women stay stuck in the mud, content with taking L’s.

Do you really want to reset your past mistakes, or are you just talking out of your ass? If you don’t want this power to get what you want, then move the fuck off this page and go scroll through TikTok. BUT if you’re ready to read, apply, and make this year your year. Then here is a 5 STEP survival guide for the top situations you’re going to run up against in 2025…

Going out isn’t everything. We talk like twice a day when he’s not busy.

Yeah, okay…. “Not busy” doing what exactly? Fucking his other girl? Spending time with the family he’s hiding? Earth to Basica: Your entire dating life is built around men who don’t see you as a priority. These guys throw a crumb of attention your way and confuse it with a full-course meal because it’s rare that you meet someone you like. This Cinderella delusion is a mental disease where you think this man who you talk to, yet rarely see, is going to ride in and fully commit. Your work life is boring. Your friends are boring. Your entire life is uneventful and dry, and these men know it. Waiting on their text is all you have, so why the hell would he give a weak-ass woman like you more when he has that kind of power over you?

Texting or talking without taking you out is not a relationship! Stop letting these men play in your face and keep you open with an “I miss you.” What does he miss? The emojis you send? If he wanted you, he would put in the time, effort, and money to take you out. Your dizzy ass is over there trying to match your first name with his last name because you think you’re wifey. Do you understand how men treat wifey types? They clear schedules, they plan dates, they surprise, and they spoil because special women are always worth going the extra mile for! These dudes are quick to send you to voice mail, yet you still call them “bae”.

Stop carrying people on your shoulders in the name of love. If the energy isn’t mutual recognize that it’s time to let go, not live in the delusion of “One day they’ll treat me better.” You’re doing all the work, and it won’t pay off in the end. There’s nothing wrong with being a romantic and loving the concept of being in love. But there is a huge fucking problem with falling fast for people who will NEVER be what you’re hoping.

Let me shift to another area of fuck ups: The Long distance relationships. There are women who meet the perfect guy, and then suddenly he moves away, and now his absence destroys your common sense to the point where you stop dating and fixate on some guy who will never save himself for you, wait for you, nor come chasing after you. I’ve been in a few Long Distance situations, and let me break down how we men think. First off, a man never truly stops looking for your replacement.

I get it, he thinks you’re amazing, you have a deep connection, you talk all the time. It does not matter! Out of sight = out of mind. It doesn’t matter how much you text or check in or visit; a man is only as loyal as his options. All it takes is one chance encounter with a new woman, and her being present and you being far away will cause her to leapfrog you in his mind.

Every few months, I get the horror story of “I tried to make it work, but now it’s different.” No shit! No matter how deep your conversations or connections were when you were in the same city, new opportunities will change that. Why do women uproot their lives and move when a man moves? Because they know that they can’t compete with that “give me 6 months to get settled” time difference. You sending him nudes won’t keep that new girl away, you flying out every 6 weeks and draining his dick won’t keep that new girl away, only that man has the power to keep all temptation out of his life, and sad to say most men don’t have will power. When Long Distance Relationships work it’s because BOTH parties are strong and on the same page. Dating for 2-4 months and saving yourself for some man who’s living your best life isn’t a smart business decision.

 Are you a woman, or are you a toy? A masculine man putting you in your place sexually to the point where your pussy drips—I get it, that’s your kink. Save the submission for the bedroom. In the real world, you can’t let a man set the rules and you blindly obey. You can’t sit there wanting more, and settling for less. Adulting requires having long conversations filled with uncomfortable questions.

You want to go out instead of staying in… but you’re waiting for him to offer. You want flowers or some money for your beauty routine… but you’re waiting for him to offer. You can post a dozen basic bitch affirmations about how “If a man loves you, then you won’t have to ask…” but in the real world you fuck for free because these men who drop the L-word NEVER get you anything.

How much did he drop on your birthday? How much did he throw your way when you told him you had a hair or nail appointment? These men see you going in your purse and look the other way because they know the truth is that you’re too shy, too afraid, and too prideful to ever say, “Can you give me—”

You don’t go anywhere, you don’t do anything, and you fuck for crumbs because you’re scared to speak up. Pretending to be happy in a boring ass relationship is all you have. Work, nap, and then cuddle up on the weekends with a guy who doesn’t have to lift a finger, never goes out of his way to please you, and never makes you feel special. Your basic ass thinks being exploited is better than being single, or that you think laying up with a low-effort man is cute? You are criminally low-maintenance, and that’s the only reason you got picked– you’re a “She’ll do for now” type of chick. But in a few months, that will end, and what will you have to show for it?

A man will sit up and ask for pussy, pictures, even for you to take time off of work to come see them, and your silly ass won’t even ask for flowers? “I shouldn’t have to ask,” is a corny basic bitch response. This needs to be the year where you communicate like an equal and not follow the leader.

Come see me and take me out. Please buy me these shoes, I really want them. I feel that it’s time to graduate from the dating stage to an official relationship. Those are big girl words. No more passive moves where you wait on a man or drop hints.

Asking for things doesn’t make you needy. Demanding better treatment doesn’t make you a bitch. Taking charge doesn’t make you masculine. Verbalize what you want. “But what if he doesn’t do what I say?” Then you find a man who will. “But what if I can’t find another man who will,” Then the problem is with your confidence because in a world this big connected by technology there are literally millions of men. If you think that ONE man who won’t treat you with value and dares to tell you “no” is the only man you can get, then the problem is internal—you don’t think you’re good enough.

No more “but but but…” You aren’t at the mercy of one man. This is your fucking world.

I need to know what we’re doing… If you don’t want me, then you need to let me go…

Weak women will put their lives in a man’s hands, give him girlfriend benefits, then circle back with “So…what are we?” You’re NOTHING to this man, Basica. You’re so fucking hard up for love you let a man use use use and then ask him to free you or cuff you?

Asking a man you’ve been sleeping with, “Where is this going?” is like jumping out of a plane without a parachute and pulling the string halfway down. You already made the choice to fuck yourself, so don’t act dumb now! You thought your personality, sex, and all those other over-hyped credentials you bring to the table would be enough to get wifed— surprise, surprise, he still doesn’t want you and will never want you beyond being a convenient pussy to lay in when bored.

What do you want out of life? You want happiness. You want love. You want to be adored. Why haven’t you achieved those things at the highest level? Because you don’t live intentionally. Spoiler Alert: You can get what you want if you have the courage to accept nothing less! You don’t have to read a million manifestation books or watch a bunch of videos. The fucking secret is YOU MUST HAVE STANDARDS AND NEVER MAKE EXCEPTIONS.

If you’re looking for something committed, say that. Being fake casual and catching feelings is why you’re wasting the best years of your life on men who see you as disposable.

What if he doesn’t want what I want?” Then leave him alone! The Fuck???

Don’t pour your love into someone who doesn’t benefit you. Validation isn’t making a man pick you. Validation is knowing that you can drop one man today and find one who is on your same wavelength tomorrow! Never settle for being a Placeholder in the name of being afraid to speak up due to rejection! Never shed tears over a man you can replace this weekend. Never doubt that you were born special, are still special, and despite your missteps, you can still win because you are that bitch!

Money makes men look better, makes their jokes funnier, makes their conversation more interesting, and makes their flirting less repulsive. No matter how much you say, “I have my own money,” or “Money isn’t everything,” you still date with a bias. When you find out what a man has or what he does, the subconscious mind lights up like a Christmas tree because all women crave security. Even if he’s halfway ugly, sort of dumb, and doesn’t share your sense of humor, you see a man with money as the ultimate safety blanket.

If you accidentally get pregnant, he can provide. If you marry him, you’ll always be taken care of. If you get sick or lose your ability to earn your own paycheck, he can hold you down without stress! A man who can protect you isn’t about physical strength. It’s about financial stability. Think about the life of a woman: always maternal, always looking after other people, always selfless… to finally have someone who can ease your burden in the biggest way—monetarily speaks to you on so many levels no matter how “above money” you act.

Because of this bias, you over-like men with money to the point where you allow them do get away with things you would have never let your broke ass ex-boyfriend get away with. You aren’t holding them up to the standards of respect, nor do you vet them in a way that can expose them. In short, you allow these men to free range, hoping that they pick you or continue to like you enough so that you can get to the point where they need you, want you, and bring you into that lifestyle of wealth… Most women aren’t used to being spoiled, so being love-bombed by someone with unlimited funds will always hit differently.

Fast forward a few months—he’s run through your coochie, bust in your mouth, and you even let him do a few things in the bedroom you swore you’d never do… now he’s not picking up the phone, he’s not reading your messages, and you’re asking all your friends what went wrong and how to get him back? The tears rain down because you’re smart enough to know that you let this weird-looking idiot with a nice bank account slut you out, and all you have to show for it is what? A few dinner dates? A trip to Mexico? And an ugly-ass handbag that sits in your closet because you don’t go anywhere fancy enough to wear it.

How do I get him back,” cries the fool, who realizes she has to leave the caviar life to go back to Chipotle and CAVA. You’re sick over someone you didn’t even really like, and willing to do anything to get their attention back, and all the bullshit you talked about how money isn’t everything has exposed you as a liar. Men with money aren’t always the smartest but they are up on one important lesson: Everyone has a price, and it’s lower than you think.

You played yourself by dating a man who wasn’t compatible just because he had money. He was never husband material, father material, or the type that spends on people other than himself. But you didn’t vet this. You saw his lifestyle and jumped for joy because your ego was so happy that someone with something thought you were pretty. The work isn’t meeting a man. The work is choosing the right man. Fuck what he has, is he generous? Fuck what he’s showing, what is he giving? Fuck the fantasy, what traits has he shown that tell you he’s compatible with your personality?

If you just want gifts and cash, you can get that without the emotional attachments, without all the sex, and without playing yourself morally, I literally wrote the blueprint on it. Hos get what they came for. Ring chasers get what a man is willing to give. His money was never going to be your money because you didn’t have the discipline to make him chase and spend before giving anything up.

Every year you swear you’re going to start fresh and turn a page on a new chapter. How can you do that when the cast of characters that didn’t benefit you are still around? Exes, fake friends, toxic family members, all of these people who you swore off, stick around because the best you’re able to do is fall back for a few weeks before letting them sneak into your life.

I thought you broke up… why are you over his house? I thought she was fake… why are you going out for drinks? I thought you were setting boundaries, but here you are… no fucking backbone.

One of the greatest lessons on your journey is being strong enough to block access to you no matter how long you’ve known a person. It’s easy to block a number or stop reaching out when you’re mad—but can you keep that same energy when a person pops back up with an apology or in need of your help? The core issue is that you’re afraid to be “mean” because you want people to like you.

If I don’t hear my ex back out, then he’s going to think I’m a bitch. If I don’t pick up the phone for my backstabbing former BFF after she had a family emergency, then that makes me look inconsiderate. Why the fuck do you care about outside perception? These women who fake friendships don’t give a fuck about you. These men who disrespected you in the past don’t give a fuck about you. Let that bridge burn and watch those motherfuckers drown. You’re too naïve, too soft, and too forgiving and ask anyone 20 years older than you where kindness has gotten them. Hurt and fucked over!

Transformation takes time, and reverse engineering your emotions takes practice, but there is no habit that can’t be rewired if you’re willing to start with one simple action: Setting boundaries.

Go through your phone tonight and make sure that there’s no one in it that doesn’t belong. Delete most, and block those who you know will try to hit you up in the future. Same thing goes for social media. Why are you following people you no longer fuck with? Because you’re afraid they may notice the unfollow? Again, you’re living in fear of other people’s judgement instead of cleaning out your life so you can be free of the nonsense!

Set fire to everyone who isn’t a positive force in your life or who hinders your growth. When they send word through a 3rd party that “you’re acting funny” or “you think you’re too good,” respond with “Fucking Facts! I am too good for any and everyone who doesn’t benefit me because this is my fucking world!” You’re not weak, you’re not broken, you’re lost—and this is the year where you find your way back. Welcome home, Spartan!

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