Observation: Why do women keep picking the wrong men?
Response: Why are there so many wrong men to pick from?
On my last podcast, I discussed why most guys don’t read relationship books and when it comes to love, they rarely feel a need to learn how to be better men. “I’m good enough to get the women I want,” is how most of us feel. On the other side of the fence, there are legions of women who are constantly figuring out how to fix themselves or become what a man wants in a future wife. See how unbalanced that is?
Why are you becoming the world’s greatest relationship woman for a man who…
A: Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You
B: Doesn’t Respect Monogamy
C: Refuses To Open Up About What He’s Been Through
D: Is Going To Do What He Feels Regardless Of Your Feeling
Therapy, books, makeovers, weight loss, you say you’re doing it for yourself, but that’s not 100% true, is it? You do this work so you can match with a high-quality man. Every idiot on the internet tries to feed you this “be a high-quality woman, fix his plate, suck his dick, coddle his manhood, and buy him a PS5.” What those people don’t take into consideration is that the dating pool most of you are comfortable in has very few top-shelf men. Most of you will do all this work to get in a relationship with someone who is emotionally distant, financially stagnant, and filled with anger issues. I create Spartans who know how to sniff out guys that are already built and well put together, not just cute and funny. Some say that’s too harsh or too masculine, but I have a track record that proves that scaring the weaklings off by vetting like a savage and asking what the fuck they bring to the table is better than settling like a dummy.
I want you to send what you’re about to read to the man in your life or the next man you date. I want you to have an honest discussion about each section below. None of that, “I’m not the man he’s describing, princess… Nah, he’s off base, mami… That’s not the way I move, baby girl,” bullshit. I want this article to be a conversation piece. Fuck what you watched on Netflix or how their day was at work, read and discuss this so you two can better understand each other. Men need to start improving, it shouldn’t always be on the women…
Accountability Questions For Men
Would You Be Good Enough For Your Future Daughter?
Imagine that you have an adult daughter who starts dating a guy seriously. What expectations come to mind? Protection. Security. Loyalty. Is he willing to stand up for her and come to her defense in any situation? Does he have a job, stable living conditions, and isn’t trying to bum off her or shortchange her in terms of treatment. Does he have a wandering eye and a bunch of hos on the roster, or is he focused on your daughter alone? Those aren’t impossible standards, right?
What happens when this guy says he’s in-between jobs, working part-time, or in some dead-end position while he figures out his next move? As a grown-ass man who understands life, you aren’t going to say, “keep grinding, you’ll get there.” What if this guy says he lives at home with his mother or lives with a few roommates? You aren’t going to say, “It’s all good just make sure to lock the door, so no one walks in on you fucking my little girl.” Let’s imagine that you ask your daughter how this man is treating her, and she fixes her mouth to say that they rarely even go out, they just chill at the crib. You wouldn’t say, “Way to go, daughter, you found a winner!”
A dude with a bunch of kids. A dude who can’t lend her money in an emergency. A dude that doesn’t take her out, won’t even surprise her with flowers, or doesn’t seem to have ambition that he’s acting on? WHO THE WANTS TO FUCK THAT LET ALONE MARRY? You may laugh and think that your daughter will never be stupid enough to date a guy like that or bring some dude around that doesn’t have his shit in order. Well, stop laughing and turn the mirror on yourself, because the things I just described are typical of the current dating world.
Think about your own life. When YOU tell a woman your life story, it’s biased. If you’re not where you should be in life, you’re not going to point to mistakes you made or time you wasted, it’s going to be stories of circumstances you couldn’t control. If women say men today don’t date properly, you will claim that you are different, but once you’re in a relationship you bait and switch. You don’t believe in spending a bunch of money on dates because you’re saving… or you would rather chill at home because you don’t like crowds. “Why do men lie so much,” is what I’m constantly asked. The truth is you all lie when dating or in a relationship because you’re ashamed of your circumstances or not impressed with the woman you’re pretending to love. Own up to the fact that you either have a deep mistrust for females, only see that woman as pussy, or are not doing as well financially as you have led on.
Let’s say that you met an incredible woman that you genuinely like, even love. Why should she love you back when your life isn’t in order, when you aren’t treating her like a trophy, and when it feels like you’re always holding back? Once again, I invite you to think about those excuses from the outside looking in. If that were your daughter and you were invested in her future prosperity, would you choose you? Fuck no! You would be like, “She needs someone further along than you.” There are so many men that are ALWAYS in progress but never go anywhere! So yes, it’s in a woman’s best interest to stop being so understanding and start being more expecting!
To Mr. Work In Progress – Bro, what can you offer a woman besides dick and conversation? Your love? How strong is that love when you don’t even love yourself enough to go out and be the best you can be? “I’m a nice guy” won’t get you paid, won’t get you a down payment on a home, and won’t keep you from slipping into a depression. You have dreams bigger than your current status, and you have tangible goals that can be reached this year, so why are you dragging your feet? Chase pussy, chill with your boys, work, chase more pussy. You’re trapped in a loop of mediocrity. Who would want you other than thirsty Basicas that have a fetish for saving grown men? But you already know that, which is why you date and ghost those Pick Me Types and lust after the high-quality ones who would never even let you sniff their pussies. Are you mad at the high standard women because you think they’re gold diggers, or are you mad at yourself for having zero gold to dig?
Let’s keep it real, man to man, you aren’t content with getting by, you aren’t happy when you wake up in the morning, you’re frustrated as hell because you were meant to do more. You want to win in life; you want to provide a safe-heaven for the people you love, take care of those that took care of you, and find a woman you can drop your guard around and spoil for life. The male ego doesn’t make us stingy, cheap, or hate women; it makes us show off, show out, and shower love, affection, and all that material shit on the right woman. Your ego takes a hit every time you look at your bank account, and instead of putting your mind to work, you put your mind to sleep. You get angry at the unfairness of life when you should get angry at the way you’ve allowed yourself to become content. Are you telling me you aren’t creative enough to outwit your circumstances? No, you’re showing me that you aren’t passionate enough to put in the mental work. It’s easier to keep doing what you’re doing and make excuses anytime someone triggers you than to act.
There was a quote that said, “Some people will resent you for doing for them what they can’t do for themselves.” I want you to think about that and then think about the women that you’ve had issues within your life. Did it not work out, or did you sabotage it? Trust, you will never find a woman you respect until you start respecting yourself. Stop dating with a head filled with frustrations and a heart overflowing with self-loathing.
What Scares You About Relationships or Marriage
Let’s say your life’s in order, you’re not a fixer-upper man, and you have a lot to offer a woman. What holds you back from giving your all to the current or next quality woman? Trust, right? You don’t trust these women to not switch up on you, disrespect you, or have you looking like a sucker. But hold on. What if this woman has proved that she’s down for you on multiple levels. You can’t keep saying, “trust.” What’s stopping you is paranoia. When someone proves who they are and you continue to shake your head and be unsure, that’s a reflection of past trauma.
To Mr. Don’t Judge Me: What are you so afraid of? Do you think a woman will laugh at you because you grew up in a broken home or because some girl broke your heart when you were a teenager? Keeping all that pain inside has done what besides build a wall of self-pity. Let’s talk about your father. Let’s talk about your mother. Let’s talk about the toxic environment that raised you and how it made you view male/female relationships. Let’s talk about how it feels to want a woman so bad, and she rejects you. Let’s talk about cheating and the emasculation that comes when a woman you trusted gave herself to another man. You’re big mad, you’re internally angry, and that has nothing to do with the women you are currently meeting but the life that was defined years ago. To get over trauma, you have to confront it, not hold it in, pretend it never happened, and try to come off like this invincible macho man. You’re hurting inside, and it’s okay to admit that. Through opening up about these things is how you conquer them.
Let’s run down the excuses we as men use…
I’m waiting on her to act right = The woman you’re dealing with has personality faults that turn you off from seeing her as a long-term partner…yet you’re still entertaining her, treating her like a girlfriend, telling her how much you care about her, and refusing to let go. Ha! Bro, let’s be real with each other. If you didn’t like how she acted, you would have replaced her by now. The problem isn’t with her funky ass attitude; it’s with your laziness. You think you can do better than her basic ass, she gets on your nerves, and the pussy doesn’t even hit like it used to…but what if the grass isn’t greener. You stick to this woman because you see how these other women move. What if you can’t handle them? What if they play you? What if they don’t even want you to begin with? So, you stick with the devil you know…the situationship girl, the girlfriend of 4+ years, the fiancé who you gave a ring to shut up. “She has issues,” Nah, homie, you’re a coward, and you would rather waste time than man the fuck up and get a woman you actually want.
I’m trying to get my money/business in order: I get it, you don’t want to fully commit or get married until you can do things your way. What I wrote above about wanting to shower all those things on the woman you love, can negatively manifest in this idea that you don’t deserve love until you’ve already won. You will always be a work in progress, a thousand in the bank or a million, there will always be new tiers to reach, new things that keep you busy, and new ways to guilt yourself for not doing enough. You can’t predict when you’ll meet The One, nor will there ever be a perfect time to fall in love. I’ve met many men that hit pause on a woman, went back, and she was gone. Unicorn women don’t stay on the market for long! Focus on your goals, that comes number one, but you don’t need tunnel vision. Yes, there are times where you don’t need to be dating, but once you have progressed in your career or can dedicate time, shift that gear down and have some fun. Some women are distractions, and some women are supporters, you will always know the difference. Embrace someone who can partner with you on the journey, at any stage.
I’m not the relationship type: We all get it, “ain’t no pussy like new pussy,” but let’s be grownups. The vast majority of men aren’t into open relationships where the woman they claim ownership can also go get outside dick. The fact that you would die if your “friend” said she wasn’t monogamous is proof that you can’t try to use polyamory as a defense. You want to keep getting notches in your belt, and you’re either afraid you’re going to cheat or have cheated so much in the past that you don’t want to commit. Own that.
I’m not a relationship type = I’m not the monogamous type. Say it with your chest. What I’ve seen are women who come to me asking “how do I get him to see me as girlfriend material.” They’re confused because your lips are saying relationships aren’t for you, but your actions are saying, “you’re my girl.” The nature of many women is to change a man’s mind. It’s not that she’s stupid, it’s that she’s optimistic. In their minds, if all these women can get husbands or get reformed cheaters to settle down and act right, why can’t she? What is she doing wrong? These chicks drive themselves crazy because they must prove their worth by making you change your mind. However, if you were to boldly say that you will always want other women and that nothing she can do will ever be enough, it would make her stop chasing the commitment at the end of the rainbow.
Do You Empathize With What Women Go Through?
Do you believe that women have a point when they complain about men? Or do you dismiss it as being dramatic or extra? As a man, can you close your eyes and imagine being a woman? Or do you shake that off and double down on the talking points: They don’t have to do anything but look good, and they get the world. They get free meals on dates. They have a bunch of guys inboxing daily. They can have sex whenever they feel. They expect guys to jump through hoops just to get to know them…
Put all the things you believe about women to the side for a moment. How would it make you feel if you were sexually assaulted in the past and now have to worry every time you are alone with a man? How would it make you feel to be raised on this notion of romance and courtship and have a guy slide the bill to you at the end of a date? How would it make you feel to have a great few weeks of getting to know a man only to see him catch an attitude and ghost you because you weren’t ready to have sex with him? How would you feel to hear someone tell you how special you were, but put you second or third at every chance? How would you feel if other women were thrown in your face as prettier your entire life, and to then hear a man who you thought was attracted to you down your looks with a joke? How would you feel if you wanted to talk about a deep topic, and all they wanted to do was try to get your bra off? How would you feel if you kept talking about your birthday, and the guy you were dating didn’t even bother to get you’re a present? How would you feel if every time you swallowed your pride and asked for a favor, you got shot down for fear of being a gold digger?
Fellas, walk in a woman’s shoes the next time you meditate. These dramatic emotions that they go through come from real places. Women go through trauma that they can’t shake. Women have social pressures that will be different from ours in terms of weight and looks, and their insecurities are triggered every time they log onto social media or don’t make it to a second date. You shouldn’t treat any woman with kid gloves or walk on eggshells as not to offend them, but you have to be sensitive enough to inspect where they are coming from instead of generalizing. She’s not the image she’s created that attracted you to her sexually. She’s just as complex as you. Much of the misunderstanding that men and women go through can be avoided if both sexes stopped assuming and started discovering what was beneath the surface.
Do You Go Beneath Her Surface?
The last note that I’ll leave you with is that the average woman prioritizes male love above all else. We’re all raised on the same brainwashing media that pushed us into defined gender roles. They were pushed to play with kitchen sets, raise doll babies, read books about fairy tale love, and watch movies where the good girl wins in the end. These ladies are deathly afraid of not getting what society’s propaganda promised them—a happy ending. That’s why they work so hard to become this perfect creature. That’s why they get so upset when women who don’t even try end up being putting on a pedestal. That’s why they don’t approach you first. That’s why they’re so bad at flirting. That’s why they cling to toxic or failing relationships way longer than we do.
Every man has an opinion on how to “fix women” in terms of them choosing the wrong man. “They always go for the asshole…how did they end up with that idiot… why is she still with that clown…” As males, we think that if you placed us in a woman’s mind we would easily get married because the steps are so easy form our perspective: Go for what you want, don’t act crazy, be fun, and he’ll fall in love. What we men forget is that the average woman can’t move with confidence because. Every interaction with the men they want is over-analyzed. As males, we don’t play on a shot clock. We understand that finding someone new or finding someone to have casual fun with isn’t that hard. Women operate with this time bomb of now or never. They hate risking rejection, they hate the getting to know you of dating, they don’t see starting over as fun, and they want to hit a home run every time out because the thought of “what if I never find someone” is always at the forefront of their minds whereas, “I’ll always find someone” is ingrained in most men.
Every man knows that women have insane power because we know internally how they drive us crazy in a good way. BUT they don’t know that. They’re shy, they’re awkward, they’re afraid to flex their power because they just want to get along and be liked.
The next time you are on a date, and she’s trying to impress you, understand where it’s coming from. The next time a woman rushes to have sex with you, understand where it’s coming from. The next time a woman overreacts to something small, understand where It’s coming from. The next time a woman runs from you over something she thinks you did, understand where it’s coming from. They’re scared of rejection, terrified of choosing wrong, afraid to question your intentions, and would rather assume, guess, overthink, and shut down. As a man, it’s not your job to fix trauma, read between the lines, or explain our every action. Nevertheless, understand that our women deserve two things, proper communication, and honest intentions. Do your part to make them feel safe and heard.